Question about this girl I slept with and am into

denimclad_secret · 2022-10-20T21:39:18+00:00

"satisfied all her urges and she hadn’t been laid in a while”

and there we have it

Neo-Rio · 2022-10-20T22:08:16+00:00

She just used you for sex.

Get used to it.

It's only a shock if you've been raised to believe that women all want relationships. Well... some just don't and enjoy the chase as much as us.

bcool_returns · 2022-10-20T21:35:41+00:00

Sometimes women just want to get laid, man. Maybe she's trying to get over someone. Or cheating on someone. And so on. Sometimes the sex wasn't that good for her, which is a key factor in getting repeat customers, and something us guys should always think more about. But even then, there's a range of emotions women feel after sex -- including feeling like maybe things escalated too quickly (even if yes, she played a leading role in encouraging things to go down and enjoyed the experience).

All that to say the way you followed up was mostly fine. But I def wouldn't have asked her out again a 2nd time before leaving a bit more space and feeling out the vibe a bit more. (Her: “LMAO sorry was sleeping all Sunday” Me: haha long night eh" etc) I'll tell you how most of these situations play out for me. There's the women I hook up, which leads to a second date/hookup within 2-7 days of the first date. These are great. I find these are generally attached to the women who hit me up soon after they leave my apartment/that same day. Rather than me having to initiate.

Then there are situations where it takes a bit longer.... like up to 3-4 weeks. Or doesn't happen at all. Which is just part of the game. But in the meantime, I'm being careful about being too pushy, allowing several days to pass before double texting to see if she fills the gap (sometimes she does), and so on. And though the joke about "favorite lube" was clever I would be careful about these sort of texts as a way to reengage with someone who is showing signs of withdrawing after sex. You might just be exacerbating buyer's remorse.

shittybillz · 2022-10-20T20:54:02+00:00

She used you like some guys use women. You were just a sex toy for the night.

Senior-Dot387 · 2022-10-21T01:46:28+00:00

Used you for sex. Move on.

Also in future, NEVER send a second message if you’ve been left on read. Making it very easy for her to ghost yo ass.

Therocksays2020 · 2022-10-20T20:02:05+00:00

She’s probably not that interested. Give her some space and send one last text next week asking her to hang out.

Some women disconnect after sex. You have to be prepared it may just be a one night stand and that’s it

losingstreak999 · 2022-10-21T04:59:42+00:00

Happened to me a good bunch of times.

One possibility is that if she's towards the top of your distribution you're close to the bottom of hers (I'm sure you've had a few ons that you were like yeaa, nah in the cold light of day). Another is that she just wanted a 1 time thing. More plausibly, she has a better prospect floating around.

1/ work on non-needy non-weird post-lay text game

2/ accept it as the price of doing business

BigishTuna · 2022-10-21T00:45:33+00:00

Sometimes women just drop out of your life for no apparently clear reason. One second you’re having the most amazing sex of your life, perhaps it goes on for a few months, and then in what seems like an instant she’s gone. Maybe she realized she wants a boyfriend and doesn’t see you in that way, maybe she just used you for sex. The only person that knows the answer is her. Honestly if it seems like a completely dead lead, I’d straight up ask her.

Happened to me earlier this year with a fuck buddy I had. It was about two months of the best sex I ever had up until that point, then a bit a flakiness, and then radio silence. I straight up asked her what the deal was and she texted back saying she started seeing someone. It was always pretty clear we were just casual and sometimes that’s what a woman wants…until it isn’t.

justanother-eboy · 2022-10-20T23:46:24+00:00

As others have said move on bro. If she hits u back up maybe chill with her again but if not go find other girls out there

Philliphazee · 2022-10-20T23:50:46+00:00

Thats gotta hurt 😖 yeah it was some one night stand shit nothing else. Dick move of her to low key string you along like that

Shadowboxxin · 2022-10-21T00:05:55+00:00

Man I swear girls are “paying guys back” these days by hitting and quitting because they got burned in the past. Good guys that have good intentions are now paying the price.

Same thing happened to me a couple months back

walterthecat · 2022-10-21T02:31:24+00:00

Just chalk this up to being a human dildo. Hey at least be happy you got some, time to move on and not worry about it.

dkod066 · 2022-10-21T14:20:17+00:00

Women

decifal · 2022-10-21T01:29:37+00:00

Time to cruise on bud. Be glad for the fun times and chooch on. Also of you keep hitting her up you become labeled as annoying and the well. Just don't do that

champion117 · 2022-10-21T01:54:26+00:00

Don’t think about it brodie. It will happen a lot.

Woujo · 2022-10-21T05:24:59+00:00

Youre acting needy. You let her know you want to hang out again, so you don't need to do anything for a while. Fall back and text her something random in a few weeks.

MsCrys52 · 2022-10-21T07:03:53+00:00

You met this girl at a concert. You dont have friends in common so you really dont anything about her or her MO.

I would go on about your life. She will hit you back when she is ready.

pluggdrip · 2022-10-21T16:14:07+00:00

she probably dont want anything serious but she will hit you up again in the future, trust me on this

idkbbitswatev · 2022-10-21T17:00:04+00:00

Just move on, it happens, theres a multitude of reasons someone, especially a girl, doesnt text back, and it doesnt concern you.

Shendrix82 · 2022-10-20T22:29:27+00:00

Maybe she’s just busy….

Da_Stallion-JCI_7 · 2022-10-21T01:38:19+00:00

Just curious, what was your approach at the concert? I generally have a hard time talking to random women at shows.

CometAzur42069 · 2022-10-21T01:43:11+00:00

Lol just cuz you fucked amazing doesnt mean anything. Theres many factors that could cause her to lose interest.

No_Intention_8878 · 2022-10-21T04:35:30+00:00

Same thing happened with me. Had sex 3 times with a girl in one night/morning and it was good sex, went down on her a bunch too and she came multiple times. Ghosted after a week of trying to set up another date. She just went through a breakup a few months beforehand so prob just rush of excitement and we were the lucky guys. Move on

snowcats · 2022-10-21T15:32:12+00:00

A womans perspective: when I was still dating and hooking up alot I’d would go quiet and let the convo die if I wasn’t really into the guy. I’d maybe reply occassionaly but wouldnt keep the convo going. Sorry.

Forsaken-Junket7631 · 2022-10-21T19:04:57+00:00

It may just be that Monday-Fri doesn’t usually work for her for dates.

I would suggest something casual & completely non-sexual in an environment with lots of foot traffic.

I would suggest a specific time & place but also in the same message suggest that those can be moved depending on her schedule.

Even if she’d been just using you for sex, then she’d mb want that again eventually.

I doubt that is the case, but if it is, then there are plenty of worse fates.

Still, I wouldn’t give up, but I also wouldn’t try to make a mountain out of a mole-hill.

Communication is key. If you feel like the two of you could have a connection, then I would say that in a casual way. If you just wanted to get laid, then I wouldn’t phrase it like that, but I would tell her how amazing she is.

I would never simply say, I had fun.

Even if it’s all about you in terms of your motivations, then we don’t have to make it all about you in your communications. You can compliment her & express your interest in genuine ways that are honest but not blunt.

Also, unless she’s already done so, I would not recommend dropping sexual references to activities done by the two of you, over the internet or text message services.

The internet is forever & she may not want to discuss that stuff in a way that is immortalized. Even if she’s super raunchy in person. She may like dropping hints tho.

When communicating with someone I would suggest taking their online communications into account.

I personally found that meme crass, so that may have put her off too. On the other hand, if she’s into it, & ur comfortable with it, then you could double down I suppose.

Idk man, I wouldn’t read too much into someone being busy during the week or even a given weekend.

You could suggest an upcoming event that you believe that she may like. Maybe something very cheap or free if ur not paying. If you are intending to pay, then I would express that in the invite. Same if you are not. If only so that you don’t wind up w/ 3 or 1 ticket btw the pair of you.

Reminds me of a story I once heard as well as a song.

This prof of mine told me how back in the day the women would turn down every attempt by the guys on campus during the school week. Then Friday would come around & those same women would be down if they liked the guy. The guys didn’t seem to notice for quite awhile apparently. I suspect many of them never cracked that code bc the idea of turning down a girl bc it’s a Tuesday would have never occurred to them.

The song is Friday I’m in love by The Cure https://youtu.be/mGgMZpGYiy8

I wouldn’t take this as meaning that she’s being fickle, just disciplined.

& none of this may be accurate to what is going on with her. You may never learn that anyway. But I’ve seen at least one other post on here that could explain it without any of what I said being accurate. The dating scene as well as individuals are constantly changing. She’s a full on person with her own ideas and thoughts that may or may not fit into any of the guesses posted here.

Good luck tho.

Tony_Rigoni · 2022-10-22T14:57:34+00:00

Girls are weird man you can’t figure them out maybe she had a perfect one nighter with you and she wants to keep it that way. My recommendation is retreat before you ruin it and look needy.

bytheninedivines · 2022-10-24T01:26:42+00:00

You from little rock? Ive been looking for people to sarge with

vicvicious420 · 2022-10-21T00:07:11+00:00

😬😬😬 I'm an asshole fir doing this i still cringe when I think about it but when I was off and on with this one guy, when we were "off" for a couple months "on" fir a couple months, abd those couple month we were off, I would eventually need to be sexually satisfied. I would start saying yes to guys that asked me out and have a great time with them, but soon enough my ex had some radar and would text me after I thought I was ready to move on and thought I met someone new saying something dumb like "miss you" and I would turn to putty and run back to him and ghost the men that would have definitely treated me better than he did. Reading your story reminds me of the dudes I did this too and made me cringe but I think you were used friend. Sorry people are shitty, I feel so bad and think about the poor guys I did this to and still makes my stomach hurt.

Remote-Marionberry52 · 2022-10-21T09:23:27+00:00

Sometimes a chick just needs a good fuck man.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2022-10-20T23:52:52+00:00

Sidenote: makes someone a good lay?

Longjumping-Bug-4383 · 2022-10-21T05:53:47+00:00

Hey I am sorry it happened to you. I would say that only she can help you understand what’s going on here. You can never be too sure. I’d say just message her one last time, tell her honestly how you feel “like I wanna get to know you better and can we go out sometime again, lmk” and if she doesn’t reply within a couple 2-3 hours, man just move on. Take it from a girl, we never ever ignore a message from a dude we really like. For some reason, he becomes our no.1 priority.

cocoadusted · 2022-10-21T13:31:51+00:00

Somebody else is smashing that joint you were plan b

lemin_marshall · 2022-10-21T14:40:02+00:00

Maybe she's scared of a real relationships she want to hang and have fun , which is kinda cool not being committed to one person you can have fun with whom you want .

ghostcatzero · 2022-10-21T20:27:17+00:00

Lol doesn't matter if the lay was good. She probably wasn't attracted to you beyond that. Lust isn't everything everyone cares about

Title	Question about this girl I slept with and am into
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	74
Comments	77
Date	October 20, 2022 7:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y98976/question_about_this_girl_i_slept_with_and_am_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-about-this-girl-i-slept-with-and-am-into.1248035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248035

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