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[–]seduction-ModTeam[M] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years agolocked comment (0 children) | Copy Link
This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.
Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?
As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.
[–]ice_jj 86 points87 points88 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Don’t entertain them. Make them entertain you. You’re not some dancing monkey. The key is to keep them engaged without needing to say much. Just let them do most of the talking. Or if you’re not feeling it then just get their number and leave. Sticking around for long can hurt your chances so it’s good to not be so available.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]tomtomdarry 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
At the same time if you just simply wait for your social battery to recharge you’ll reach a point when can’t tell anymore if you’re just staying in your comfort zone. Let’s admit as an introvert alone time is comfortable
How do you know when you’re ready if you’re ready but still feeling some discomfort to be social?
[–]incognito3107 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can still enjoy a party as an introvert. Get involved in some activities, take a girl for 1 on 1 conversation, simply relax and enjoy your time. You can leave any time if you don't feel the vibe anymore. Also, spend time with people that empower you. Many girls may not keep their attention for an introvert, but they definitely may enjoy spending a personal time with you.
[–]rich_god 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First, you are not supposed to entertain anyone. If you do things to please others, to fit in or to pretend to be someone else, you will drain your energy.
So what to do ? Follow the flow ! What do you want to do ? As an introvert you have the ability to create intimacy, you’re seen as safe and enigmatic, you’re able to open people up in their vulnerability. Have one-on-one conversations for example, find a quiet spot and dive into your authenticity with someone. Breath, be in your body, look in the eyes, and be true.
And if you feel no energy and want to go, just go. Some parties I’ve left after a few minutes because the vibe was just too draining for me. Find better parties, maybe even better friends, or create your own. That’s what I did and Obviously that’s a very effective way to connect with many girls without having to initiate.
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
You'd have better luck as an extrovert for sure. Girls often mistake introversion for insecurity which is not attractive.
[–]yoyoyo5k 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
It's not something people can just change
[–]Canadian-Seductioner -5 points-4 points-3 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Sure, just letting you know it's not going to be easy as it is now.
[–]yoyoyo5k 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Wym easy as it is now
[–]Canadian-Seductioner -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I'm saying you're going to struggle getting laid being introverted.
[–]yoyoyo5k 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I know introverts who get laid all the time, more than 99% of extroverted people I know. One example is my roommate
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
So ask him how he does it instead of strangers on reddit?
[–]yoyoyo5k 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I thought someone in this sub would actually have something useful to say. Apparently I was wrong
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Nothing more useful than someone you actually know who already has the answers you're looking for.
[–]yoyoyo5k 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Maybe there's a reason I didn't want to ask him? You don't know my situation
[–]Canadian-Seductioner1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't. Just saying you'd have better luck asking someone you know than strangers on reddit.
[–]yoyoyo5k1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This is literally a seduction subreddit. Wtf
[–]Canadian-Seductioner2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It is. And the common thread you will see in this sub is that introverted people aren't getting laid whereas extroverted people are. If you're saying you know people in real life who do not fit that narrative, then you're better off talking to them.
Then those people are idiots
Lol so don't go to them for advice?
[–]yoyoyo5k2 points 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I didn't realize this was a sub full of idiots until just now, lol
Here's what I can tell you. If you're introverted, your best bet is to drink to loosen up (not getting drunk though) if going out to bars, clubs, or other crowded events.
If that's not an option, then stick to meeting girls by focusing on your hobbies and social circles.
[–]the_golden_b1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Being extroverted def helps, but u can still be introverted and be successful. It’s all about how u carry urself and how u view urself. Confidence.
[+]EquanimousKnight25 points 3 years ago [recovered] (23 children) | Copy Link
[–]lifeintraining 38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You’re not an introvert, you just have social anxiety
[–]MayhemReignsTV 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It could be social anxiety. I have suffered from it for years and still fight it, despite a massive amount of progress. The degree that social situations drain me is much less but still very much there, despite me interacting much more competently than I ever did. I was at that point described in your first paragraph. I am not like that anymore but I still have social anxiety. There are different degrees of it that manifest in different ways. Don’t just dismiss that because it’s a serious issue that needs to be addressed if it is the case.
[–]West_Hunter_7389 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you've nailed it with the 'social battery' analogy. I feel exactly like that. It's not that I don't enjoy people, it's more like that I make a big effort when I try to face uncomfortable social situations.
[–]EquanimousKnight1 point 3 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Social anxiety doesn’t necessarily manifest itself in every situation. I used to have more social anxiety than I do now, and there were situations where I would go to a party with my friends only to feel anxious, to want to be alone, feel like I had no social battery, etc. once I got to the party after a few interactions. But the thing is, these situations would happen if the first few interactions didn’t go well or if everyone was drunk and I wasn’t. But I don’t think these feelings were because I was introverted, I think it was a coping mechanism for the uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing. I feel like most people don’t have nights where you’re really social and having a good time until all of a sudden you don’t want to make the effort to socialize anymore.
[–]dheidjdedidbe 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Uh no. I am introverted and am social. I just have a very limited social battery.
[+]Boethiah18 -11 points-10 points-9 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Alcohol baby, keeps me going as a pretty major introvert ahaha
[–]punkman01 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh yes the alcohol solution. Alcohol has been helping people make wise and sensible decisions for centuries. I hear that alcohol can make you a better singer and dancer. Chicks just love good singers and dancers. Specially ones who got there with alcohol.
Pls forgive my sarcasm.
[–]Boethiah18 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree but I either get drunk have fun and talk much more than I would otherwise or on the other hand want to go to bed after a 30 minutes of being around people. It's definitely not the worst option.
[–]yoyoyo5k 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Maybe true, but how could you know based off the little information given
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Years of experience in this sub.
If you came in here asking for advice on how to increase your dating life, it'd make sense to ask a lot of questions about where things are underperforming.
But if you're in your 20s and you sex life is still at zero, the problem is almost certainly that you're not putting yourself out there enough.
You won't get anywhere until you push through your mental blocks.
[–]potatoeswithfries 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What you're saying makes sense, but
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Significant-Carpet31 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Please explain me what being Braver while socializing means?
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every time that you want to approach a woman, but you don't... That's fear. Every time you want to ask her out, but don't... That's fear. Etc etc etc.
Bravery is acting in spite of fear.
[–]potatoeswithfries 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Maybe just don't use names of disorders like social anxiety (social phobia) when what you seem to actually mean is "shyness".
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
We generally use the term "approach anxiety", but I think it's safe to say that you're the only one looking at this conversation through a clinical lens. This is a reddit sub, not a medical facility.
[–]potatoeswithfries 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is a reddit sub, not a medical facility.
Yes, this is my point exactly - and it's why you might want to stop misusing names of disorders, and stop defending misuse of the names of disorders.
This isn't the place to use them at all.
If you mean approach anxiety, say "approach anxiety". If you mean shyness, say "shyness".
[–]Delicious_Ad_1853 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm willing to bet your the only one here that even knew it was the name of a disorder. After all, that guy didn't capitalize it, use the word "disorder", or anything else to indicate that he was referring to the ICD. He simply used a noun and an adjective that happen to have special meaning to you.
So... Ok, you made your point. Have a nice day.
[–]chief_yETI 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
got him!
but yeah you're most likely correct.
[–]mrpodo 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sigh. My mental blocks keep winning.
[–]MayhemReignsTV 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way you describe how social situations drain you is what convinces me that he might be right about you having social anxiety. It’s a much too familiar feeling for myself and it still occurs but I have much better social stamina if that makes any sense. Now I only feel that after spending maybe too much time with people. I used to feel it in less than five minutes of just trying to talk to somebody. It’s the anxiety of the situation just sucking out your energy and sometimes you don’t even know it.
[+]EquanimousKnight1 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yoyoyo5k 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because I’ve experienced the same thing. I’ve been out with girls or at a party and sometimes I don’t want to socialize anymore, especially with girls. But the thing is, I’ve realized why this is the case. I’ve been out with the hope of getting laid, and if the girls were significantly drunker than me, making it hard to have a conversation, or they all were clearly showing interest in other guys, I would start to feel anxious and would have to desire to continue to socialize. But I wouldn’t this was because I’m an introvert, it’s because my expectations were too high, I started to feel anxious when they weren’t met, and my social battery went to empty as a cope. What I find is that I never get this feeling when I’m having a good time or my interactions are going well, only when I face rejection, have awkward encounters, etc. which reinforce my social anxiety.
[–]yyuyuyu2012 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am dealing with this as well. I don't mean to make excuses for things but I think the US makes it hard for introverts so you can try other places that are more chill. Beyond that idk what to tell you except go see a hooker and separate cold approaches from having fun (bar and clubs). That seems to but the only things I can see. Best of luck. Also treat yourself well.
[–]tired_demonhunter 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thats the neet part You dont
[–]WorthTadpole8305 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You make it sound like introverts find it hard to get laid which is BS for sure.
[–]Jasonhardon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need to polish your finishing moves
[+]CometAzur42069 -13 points-12 points-11 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Introvert isnt an excuse to be a pussy and afraid of rejection. self proclaimed introverts arent introverts at all theyre just massive pussies about rejection and socialization. If they had more positive outcomes they’d be extraverte.
[–]Boethiah18 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree but you're getting introvert and extrovert mixed up with shy and outgoing.
[–]yoyoyo5k 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How do you know that's the situation here? Many self proclaimed introverts are just aware that they're actually introverted. Also your last sentence just shows that they're not pussies if anything, it's just a result of their past experiences
[–]WanyCaleb -5 points-4 points-3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop using introversion as an excuse!
[+]MentalCelOmega -13 points-12 points-11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, looks it is not your fate to get laid.
[–]yoyoyo5k 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol dumb response
[+]anotherkdburner -24 points-23 points-22 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah bro probably won’t happen
[–]yoyoyo5k 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What
As if introverts can't get laid lol
[+]anotherkdburner -29 points-28 points-27 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They kinda don’t
[–]yoyoyo5k 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL. Dumbest response ever
[–]lifeintraining 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Happy cake day! For your cake day you should probably get smart.
[+]Lonely-Pikachu -21 points-20 points-19 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Just stop it
[–]yoyoyo5k 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Stop what
[+]Lonely-Pikachu -24 points-23 points-22 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Being an introvert
[–]yoyoyo5k 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
LOL it doesn't work like that at all
[+]Lonely-Pikachu -18 points-17 points-16 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
JUST STOP IT!
[–]WanyCaleb 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks, I bet OP is feel great and cured!
[–]Claymore357 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/wowthanksimcured
[–]yoyoyo5k 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Independent008 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I remember going to parties and wanted to go back home. I felt socially awkward
[–]yoyoyo5k -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok?
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