Began dating good looking girl, struggling with jealousy.

A_Wild_Zeus_Chase · 2022-10-09T21:41:01+00:00

Let me ask you this: Are you happier now then you were previously? It’s not meant to be a leading question, but it is a serious one.

What I mean by it is, having a beautiful girlfriend can do wonders for your self confidence and happiness. But feeling like that beautiful girlfriend is never fully committing to you, and always leaving options open, does not.

So it’s your job as a man to honestly answer that question for yourself, and follow what makes you the most happy.

And if it’s not making you happy, as you said, controlling her isn’t the answer. You have to be able to walk away.

So if you reach that point, IMO you should handle it like this. Next time you see her, sit down with her and say something like “Hey ___, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.

I’ve really liked everything else about our relationship so far, but I feel like the way you engage with other guys while your with me is not something I want from a partner.

You’re beautiful, so I know you can’t help receiving that interest, but you can control how you respond to it. Relationships are about respecting how your partner is feeling while still not compromising on your own values.

So I want you to know that it’s important to me that if I’m exclusive with someone, I’d like that person to not continue to engage with other guys who have made their sexual interest clear, but if that freedom is important to you, or if you feel like that’s too controlling, then it’s probably best if we part ways. So, what do you think?”

Iplaynakey · 2022-10-10T00:43:58+00:00

Hold frame and I mean frame. Like not even a hurricane can move you. I met a girl like that 2 years ago. She used to test me, say hey wanna go out to xyz, I’d say nah you go. She’d ask me aren’t you afraid of other guys trying something with me, and I’d always tell her, if you can find better than me out there then I encourage you to go for it. Worked, she’d mostly cancel plans stopped texting other dudes. Frame is the name of the game

Turbopre2 · 2022-10-10T00:32:11+00:00

If you want to date a beautiful woman you'll have to deal with beautiful woman problems.

bcool_returns · 2022-10-10T02:45:34+00:00

Why did you agree to be exclusive with this unanswered issue still swirling around in your mind? Why did you agree to be exclusive after only 2-3 weeks of dating? These are the more important questions you haven't answered.

Wazzzock · 2022-10-09T23:14:13+00:00

She's not yours its just your turn.

sidbunch6 · 2022-10-09T21:06:43+00:00

I had an almost identical situation at the beginning of the year. Almost exactly as you describe. I somehow managed to pull a complete babe and we started seeing each other, hooking up and going out etc in a clearly exclusive way. She was non stop getting hit on etc, and she would talk back in a friendly way, but it was enough to encourage them, and even text back when guys on insta and stuff were DMing her and blatantly trying to bang her etc.

I don't really have any advice though lol. I ended up just finishing with her as personally It just wound me up too much and reminded me why I don't really think i'm a relationship kinda guy. I like being single, and just hooking up with girls

DropTopJosh666 · 2022-10-09T22:41:40+00:00

Way too early to be jealous, you should talk to other girls until she understand if she talks to other guys, you can’t take her seriously.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-10-09T20:45:26+00:00

you have to trust your partner totally in order for a relationship to work. the second you don't trust your partner, the relationship is over. it might tick on for another year but it died the second you looked through her facebook messages or whatever.

if you can't get a hold of yourself, you're dooming the relationship.

enjoy!

C0333 · 2022-10-10T02:00:15+00:00

How is she/they getting numbers to text?

Artist-in-Residence- · 2022-10-10T05:50:08+00:00

She will let them hit on her and talk and shit and I just sit there laid back and try not to let it bother me. She never lets them get physical, but still verbally it can be a tad annoying. On top of that guys are always texting her and trying to meet up. Which she will ultimately shut down or make excuses for, but she will keep texting them.

You guys are not exclusive, so it's perfectly in her right to be able to talk to other men lol. Half the world are filled with me, you can't lock her up in a closet and keep her to yourself.

She hasn't let others get physical, she only verbally banters with them. She also shuts down other men, so she's been respectful to you.

Now, if she was going off and sleeping with other men, then I would say you have a problem...

You need to get over your control issues..sooner or later this kind of controlling behaviour gets super annoying.

NinetailsDestruction · 2022-10-10T00:23:12+00:00

Sounds like mental hell. I hope you make it out in one piece.

Never feed into this girls ego. Ever. And tell her she can’t text other guys if you are together. The fuck? You can trust her but you can’t trust the devil the whispers in her heart!

sendluv · 2022-10-10T05:44:48+00:00

What you gotta do is claim the title of alpha male when you and your girl go somewhere. When you get to a restaurant and all the guys break their neck since she’s so hot, what you do is you kiss her while everyone is watching. Drive the point home by smacking her tits around a bit (you can get creative here). But you gotta show the other guys you’re not just a friend, she’s dating YOU. show the other guys she’s not available and then hold frame.

But, if nothing seems to help the situation, you gotta know when to cut your losses. If she enjoys the attention from guys more than she likes your relationship, you should tell her to take a hike and let that be the end of it

James_Cruse · 2022-10-10T03:52:25+00:00

There was another guy in this forum saying that women RARELY test him and it’s all banter, just LOL.

When I have dated EXTREMELY attractive women, like the most attractive woman everywhere we go - they test you all the time, even into a long term relationship - it doesn’t end.

They constantly poke and prod you to see if your have a any chinks in your armour of confidence and self-belief because it’s their whole LIFE if years down the track you turn out to be a loser. When they think they’ve found a chink - they will bore down on it hard to find out over and over. So you do need to have a very strong foundation of beliefs about yourself.

What you can do about it: 1. It is tiring to get those tests but if you have many dating options yourself and your girlfriend KNOWS that without you rubbing her face in it. So have her be around you in places you enjoy that you have some social proof and/or other visible dating options. There should be alot of other visible dating options wherever you guys go, right? I casually talk to alot of people wherever I go and this inadvertantly reveals to her alot of my other dating options but also the character of other men in comparison to me, in real time.

I’ve found that lessens the tests because their mind is more pre-occupied with being better than their female competition (your dating options) and/or worried about them rather than testing you as much. It doesn’t mean you won’t get ANY tests, but it certainly lessens them.

I’ve also found just being abit more mysterious and not sharing EVERYTHING with her so it keeps her guessing, and be abit more vague about some things in your life, but in a playful way. Tease her about it. Don’t HIDE or be ASHAMED of anything, but let her pre-occupy her mind with wonder and imagining what you’re doing more. She doesn’t need all the details of everything.
Just making fun of any tests, genuinely amuse yourself with it and have a laugh. Playfully insult whatever she said, or her and make it an exaggerated fun. Like it’s all fodder to make some jokes and exaggerate it in a fun way. I would do that all the time and they would laugh along because they realised how negative they were being and how much they’re ruining whatever we’re doing at that time while having a laugh at it but drawibg attention to it in a way that benefits both of you. So turn a negative into a positive. Which goes for anything else in your relationship.

Sometimes I call back to another test I previously made fun of her for if she’s throwing a few tests at me. Just don’t take it too seriously be relaxed about it and have a laugh. Which goes for the other two points. Sometimes girls don’t even consciously know they’re doing it.

Setting clear & reasonable boundaries that you will walk away or discontinue your relationship if she continues - underscored by other female dating options. She needs to trust that you’re a man of your word and you have no hesitation in walking away from her at any time if she crosses those boundaries and you have other female options that are willing to be with you if she makes a mistake. The idea is, you’ve chosen her to be in a relationship conditionally and she knows and is aware of those conditions.

If they’re not respecting boundaries that you’ve clearly set about interacting and talking to other men, then you need to walk away - you have other dating options, right? So if you’re confident of those other options - her stepping over and disrespecting your boundaries is no sweat right?

2022-10-09T23:34:10+00:00

Next time date an ugly chick. That way if she dumps you, you won’t care.

tonyrelic · 2022-10-10T00:51:16+00:00

Just have fun with Her before she opts for the bigger better deal

Senior-Dot387 · 2022-10-10T01:31:44+00:00

Yeah I’m my opinion you will have to put up with it if you want to continue dating her. That’s not to say there’s not a few things you can do to assert your dominance when out in public.

From a bystanders point of view, is it clear you two are in a relationship? Do you have your arm around her? Do you make affectionate displays in public? Guys wouldn’t bother you if it was clear you are together.

In terms of her texting guys, she seems to love getting attention from them and it would be borderline impossible to change that without causing too much strain on the relationship and ultimately ending it.

Your options are; A) control your jealousy and assert your dominance (even if it’s fake) B) continue on your current trajectory and hope you don’t have an emotional outburst that may end the relationship C) end the relationship now

zapadz · 2022-10-09T23:33:30+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7E7Ye9rbL4

Jdaddyk07 · 2022-10-10T02:47:53+00:00

just get out of it dude - not worth it.

Solo_Traveler_691 · 2022-10-10T03:05:26+00:00

own that shit and let guys know bro

TabooVille · 2022-10-10T03:15:23+00:00

I think you just need to decide whether you want to increase your boundaries and let her know she can't talk or text other guys if it bothers you that much.

millerpmiller · 2022-10-10T04:55:39+00:00

2-3 weeks? Way too early to be exclusive. Way too early to be jealous.

Title	Began dating good looking girl, struggling with jealousy.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	33
Comments	76
Date	October 9, 2022 8:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xzvp4h/began_dating_good_looking_girl_struggling_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/began-dating-good-looking-girl-struggling-with.1248635 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248635

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