“A man’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to his level of neediness”

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-23T01:26:44+00:00

I like to take this to the basics of power dynamics. In the end of the day, the one who needs the least, he all the power.

If you are with a woman and you need her less than she needs you, you can call all the shots. Think about it. What can she do to get her way? Deny you sex? If you don't need sec that badly, she has no power. She can give you the silent treatment? Hey, more peaceful afternoons for me.

If you have a job and you don't need the money nearly as much as the company needs your expertise, who has the power? You of course. You can go on your own or go find another job easily, while your company struggles to replace you.

And on and on.

So lacking neediness signals that you have more interpersonal power than the other person. As you get less emotionally attached, all of a sudden you become more appealing to a woman. You don't need her therefore she doesn't have power over you. And because she doesn't, she actually feels safer with you.

Think about it along those lines. If the purpose of sexual attraction is to get us to mate and propagate the human race, a woman then has to consider certain adverts of her mate selection criteria. When she is pregnant and at her most vulnerable, unable to take care of her basic needs, do you think she'd want to be with a man who can't make decisions and lead? A man who is weaker than her and needs her more? She is literally at her neediest so the last thing she needs is someone who is as or more needy.

Hence why neediness is a turn off for women. It is for men to a certain extent too, because neediness from a woman means we have to bear responsibility for her fully. And who the fuck wants someone who can't carry their own weight.

_ball_of_yarn · 2022-09-23T04:23:16+00:00

Yes and no.

No needy person is ever really respected, in any social relationship. Independence and autonomy are universally magnetic.

However: A man who is theoretically too far on the opposite end of "needy" will be too distant to form a healthy and sustainable bond with.

Emotionally unavailable (aloof, avoidant, guarded, uninvested, defensively independent, secretive) men do not attract healthy women. They usually attract women who are "needy" and anxious themselves, with heavy co-dependency issues. This is because they feel they are not worthy of love and have to constantly chase it and work for it.

A healthy woman by contrast will abandon a romantic relationship where there is insufficient interconnection, because she knows that she deserves love that is obvious and demonstrable, and that love is impossible without some level of vulnerability.

Bottom line: Avoid textbook neediness. Do not chase a woman who does not chase you back. Do not put in any effort for a woman unless it is reciprocated in equal measure. Tend to your romantic pursuits, but be highly committed to your own goals, passions and wants. Do not rely on a woman to complete you or validate you, that is your job.

At the same time, do not be so aloof that all you can form is surface-level or codependent relationships. Understand that giving is not weak, accepting one-sidedness is.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-23T00:23:37+00:00

i'll try and expand on this because catch phrases on their own are easy to agree with and dismiss without thought.

you should be living a full life and be independently happy before entering a relationship of any kind. the prospect of being single should be something that you are perfectly happy with returning to. your partner will have no undue control over you when you are in this state of mind. your partner will have no leverage over you in any way if you are 100% prepared to return to being single the second you're displeased.

do not emotionally invest in any way, shape, or form until you have kissed her. if you are crushing on a girl from afar, fantasising about her, any of that shit, you will come across as needy and weak. don't do that shit.

Dakessian · 2022-09-23T14:51:02+00:00

I meet people halfway. If they can’t do that, Im out.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-23T08:00:00+00:00

It's like "I am so confident with my attractiveness and value that I don't really need anyone's approval". Which is a BIG trait in a life partner for women.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-09-23T02:10:27+00:00

A man’s attractiveness is determined by the person he’s attracted to. There’s is no secret formula.

Ploikblah · 2022-09-23T07:37:24+00:00

That's so daft. You can be non needy af and still get zero matches on tinder.

eszibit · 2022-09-23T13:18:45+00:00

This blew my mind when i read it at first but i was still young and kinda new to game.

After reflecting a lot and studying a lot more, it's actually bullshit. Take 2 people, one is a fat fedora wearing, acne having, misogynistic dumbass that is not needy and has a i don't give a fuck attitude. Spoiler, he still not getting any women or any good women at least, maybe some girls with mental issues will be attracted to him since he reminds them of their father that used to beat them. ( even though patrice o'neal is really well regarded, he as a comedic genius but was far from understanding women. had some gold nuggets of insights bur overall he was wrong. funny, but wrong. )

The other guy is a nerd, but he goes to the gym, is fit, makes decent money, kinda shy but takes care of himself and is a good guy. He is "needy" since he didn't have a gf up till now but suprise, girls love him and make up excuses like " oh, i like virgins " or "i like that he is so quiet, he seems deep " etc. It's because he has value and the other guy doesn't. That's it. It's simple and easy.

Of course if you compare the 2nd guy to a 3rd guy that has all his qualities but is charismatic and funny and knows how to please a woman, the 3rd guy will win. But neediness is not the end all be all, it's the value of the person ( meaning the qualities and how well adjusted he is ).

So 1st guy has no value < 2nd guy has some but can improve < 3rd guy has most of his shit together and ladies love him.

Environmental_Cress2 · 2022-09-23T23:25:18+00:00

Stupid quote. You ever met those nerds that genuinely don’t give a fuck about the opposite sex??? Just their books??

Or about those men who are authentically antisocial and all they want to do is watch anime and play video games???

Yea, they’re not needy. They got all they want. But they’re still not attractive….

What_planet_15_th15 · 2022-09-23T10:59:04+00:00

A man's confidence and his bedding skills aka game. Here FTFY

experiment_137 · 2022-09-23T15:27:41+00:00

Shut the eff up...neediness has multiple meanings. I've been in multiple relationships and situations. Amd in case of being with a girl, it doesn't even matter. Only lesser men talk about such shite, if you're one of them you need to improve yourself instead of saying that the grapes are sour. And dude, mark mansion won't get you girls, a real world effort will do wonders. Work on your personality and physical improvement, just reading and quoting books will never lead you to a place where females are comfortable and willing to have fun. It's just you, believe in yourself.

hairlossthrow4w4y · 2022-09-23T09:21:55+00:00

but what is the balance between not being needy and showing interest?

Title	“A man’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to his level of neediness”
Author	aidenpethick_
Upvotes	78
Comments	40
Date	September 23, 2022 12:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xlhtyx/a_mans_attractiveness_is_inversely_proportional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-mans-attractiveness-is-inversely-proportional-to.1249524 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249524

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