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[–]MR_Shigitoshi 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, trial and error, learn from your mistakes, practice and get better
[–]mrmarkme 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If you’re in college you don’t need to approach. If you have a good circle of friends and get into the parties and shit, then all you need to work on is your social skills. Learn how to flirt and hold a girls attention, if you can’t pull mutual friends then you got a lot of practice to do
[–]capbassboi 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Flirting is a bad one for me. I've been rejected quite a few times in the last year and I suspect the reason is every single time I didn't make my feelings clear and then asked them out on a date but there was no sexual or romantic pretext for that question to justifiably exist. In fairness, I've been working on my physique since I've started going climbing and I also have a definitive life purpose which I am devoting myself to. I know I'm not an unattractive person in terms of general profile, but I definitely get friendzoned all the time and it's very frustrating. Have you got any tips for flirting? I've heard about push and pull before, but I'm fairly autistic and struggle with nuance. Everything has to be quite literal for me. I'm working on it, but still struggle.
[–]bandsupjay 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You probably get friendzoned all the time because your self confidence. You also said you’ve been with bad women. Maybe you should start valuing yourself and see how good you are and then everything will come into place. It aint all about your physique and shit. A girl is attracted to how you feel about yourself as a whole. Other words your self esteem
[–]Live-Ad-6309 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not learning how to cold approach is a bad strategy. You probably won't always have a vast network of mutual friends to date. Especially as you get older. New friendships are just more logistically difficult to build so the pool will eventually dry up.
[–]Amikatey 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't shit were you eat. With mutual friends if as a beginner you screw things up then your reputation in your social circle man, I reccomend doing cold approach and getting used to thinks on low stakes. Either way COLD APPROACH is fnck!n& worth it than having to deal with the competition in social circle. Choose your battlefield wisely.
[–]Crisia_1234 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are so god damn right with this one
[–]burakbenxd 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I've been doing cold approaches for like 2 months now, and I'm literally making out with a girl every day now. Just be confident. My girl today told me that she really likes my confidence, etc. Be yourself, confident. Learn some humor too. Before I was on this sub I was a mess, helped a lot. Before this, I literally had one kiss! I'm 25 too. Apparently I can make out well... which I learned today hahaha
[–]Crisia_1234 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can you teach me? Id like to start aswell?
[–]burakbenxd 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
learn what
[–]wolfbee16 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%. I never got girls until I adopted the mindset of having fun first. Think about it, if your not good at game, and then you add the pressure on yourself that you HAVE to get laid to have a good night, your setting yourself up for failure!!
I went from 4-55 in a year by not caring at all. That’s not to say not to flirt! Of course flirt, grt better!! But don’t make your sole priority to get laid! I’m telling you, every time I did that I never got laid!! Not once! It put SO much pressure on me and I failed.
Go out, just chat to girls at first. Get to know them. Practice practice practice!! You will fail, 100%. Many many many many times, but that’s how I learned. Eventually you learn and get very good at it.
TLDR: Have a mindset of practicing, not getting laid
My post with over 1.2K upvotes from my hoe phase year where I go in extreme detail on everything I learned about game. It got to the point where I could categorize most girls into 8 types- https://reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/akftv6/from_afraid_to_look_a_girl_in_the_eye_to_getting/
[–]booniedog1 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Great question. I've been watching videos from a guy named Social Animal and it's inspired me to go out and do it.
[–]capbassboi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cool man, did you do the same and just approach and not worry about the end result?
[–]sidbunch6 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i think work on your look (style, fitness etc) instead of your 'game'. You just need to not be super weird and that's enough game. And of course escalate on the girls who like you.
[–]Amikatey 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girls love "gutlukes" sure, but a womans attraction for a man is different compared to man's attraction for the above. Your physic and fitness wount really do the shit in terms of passing a shit fnck.ng test or your confidence with women.
[–]Live-Ad-6309 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Measuring your success by the number of women you sleep with is a recipe for disaster. Since in the beginning you will have a high rate of failure.
[–]grindforthegold 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
honestly once i started approaching i was surprised by how good girls reacted to me. my biggest issue was actually prematurely ejecting
[–]Professional-Ad676 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
i dissagree with this idea, that you shouldn't try to get laid... how the fuck are you supposed to get laid if it's not even in your intentions, that's like saying you wanna learn to swim but never touch water and when your good enough at swimming on land then you'll get in the water.
NO, you learn to swim by actually atempting to swim, yes it's harder, it's scarier, it's more frustraighting, but it's the only option you have.
either that or you're lying to yourself.
sure in the begging put smaller goals, like maybe just saying hi, then kissing, then pulling etc.. but the ultimate goal should always be in mind
[–]focus_flow69 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You need baby steps first if you are inexperienced socially or at talking to women. Most of these people are the analytical type, over thinkers. If these people just hyper focus on sex as the end goal from the get go, they just become thirsty as fuck and give off desperate, needy vibes that repel women like no other.
You first priority should be learning how to have a conversation with a stranger. If you can't even do that, trying to get laid just creeps people out.
[–]Amikatey 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bro. You can't assign a level 12 exercise to a level 2 starter. Starting with the idea of getting laid for a beniner is just going to make him quit. He has to start from the most basic of steps and climb his way up. That way he can start just having conversations without even intending or trying to. Lose in any way. Just have talks and then go. If he gets used to that he gets on the next step, it's completely viewing stuff from a veterans point of view vs complete noob.
[–]Professional-Ad676 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not saying he should pull I'm just saying he should keep the objective in mind, his subconscious should always be looking for the lay. I used to train in Brazilian jujitsu, it's one of the hardest martial arts when you're new. For the first 4 or 5 I didn't tap anyone. Meaning I would go to the gym practice the techniques And drill everything, And at the end of class I would roll (spar) with everyone. And every night I would get tapped by almost everybody go home many times I was frustrated, I thought I couldn't do it... But then all of a sudden I got my 1st submission then I got my 2nd oget my 2nd one within a couple of weeks I've already submitted submitted 3 or 4 people a bunch of But then all of a sudden I got my 1st submission then I got my 2nd oget my 2nd one within a couple of weeks I've already submitted 3 or 4 people a bunch of times.
Tell you the truth I don't even remember my first submission or who I tapped.. But if I went in there and I said I'm not gonna try to submit anybody I'm just gonna go there do the motions and go home I would have probably never submitted anybody.
You have to always know why you're doing what you're doing.
If this guy doesn't have this mentality he'll be talking to girls and disregarding all the signals and he'll never close.
If you don't try to close you'll never close
[–]capbassboi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah tbh my thinking with this is to just get myself into situations where I'm conversing with a lady naturally, and from then on if I notice I'm building rapport try to physically escalate etc. But if I'm so obsessed with getting laid and I'm so insecure with women, I'm not gonna want them kinds of thoughts in my mind when I'm pushing myself WAY out my comfort zone
[–]Delicatestatesmen 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would just try to make meaningful connections first … then you can allow things to organically flow.
[–]CocoBabeNYC 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
You should never approach women aiming to get laid.
[–]capbassboi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ok. Forgive me for asking, but how does this work if your sole intention going out is to get laid?
EDIT: I think this is an interesting point, I'm not doubting you at all.
[–]CocoBabeNYC 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Make your sole intention something else. Like having fun. Do you really think normal guys who get girlfriends and ons go out looking to get laid? Do you think this might look desperate and needy and therefore give you the exact opposite outcome of what you want?
[–]capbassboi 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah that makes a lot of sense, thanks for this advice.
[–]Amikatey 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Going to the mall, just find atleast anything to do in the mall, just any reason atleast anything other than "am here to just approach women" should do the trick. I promise you no one even knows why anyone is there. And no one thinks anyone is there for reasons other than what people do in the mall.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Instead, talk needless shit, never state your intent, hide your dick, never try to touch or kiss right?
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Having a hidden agenda will always result in rejection. Trying to get laid means that you make sex with a woman the prize and because of that she is not only turned off but she can manipulate you in any way she wants, because you are just dying of thirst for that pussy, lol.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Having a hidden agenda will always result in rejection.
Exactly!
Girls know why you approach them wtf.
If the woman likes you, there is no prize, looser or winner, sex is reciprocal. She'll manipulate you if she does not like you, or if she has a "fascinating" personality, in that case you're better off.
Dying of thirst for that pussy is not equal to wanting to get laid.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, keeping high expectations is not helping you much, there are many variables concerning girl you approach, circumstances, your mood that can undermine and push your approach into different outcomes. Just get a liking to interacting with women and do it as frequently as you feel, and some of them may turn into romantic ones. Learn from mistakes, improve your social skills and appearance, enjoy your quest.
[–]carlos1973633826 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Changing you behavior is hard. Unless you can endure months of rejection you won’t make it part of who you are.
To gain more confidence improve your looks every way you can. Also go out all the time so your more comfortable in large groups of people, ideally go to the place where you will be approaching.
[–]EARLY20RAG3R 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You gotta go through trial and error; do it and fail to find something that works for you and gets you results.
Theres no cookie cutter approaches to seduction.
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[–]MR_Shigitoshi 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mrmarkme 25 points26 points27 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]capbassboi 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bandsupjay 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Live-Ad-6309 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amikatey 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Crisia_1234 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burakbenxd 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Crisia_1234 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]burakbenxd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wolfbee16 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]booniedog1 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]capbassboi 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sidbunch6 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Amikatey 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Live-Ad-6309 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]grindforthegold 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Professional-Ad676 3 points4 points5 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Live-Ad-6309 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amikatey 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Professional-Ad676 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]capbassboi 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Delicatestatesmen 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]capbassboi 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]capbassboi 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amikatey 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]carlos1973633826 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EARLY20RAG3R 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link