What exactly do you mean by 'be on your purpose and they'll come'?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-06T11:44:19+00:00

No. They will not come… No one’s gonna knock on your door. That is just stupid advice given by men who don’t have real life experience.

You need to hit on girls, you need to take the initiative and go out of your way to meet women, you need to approach them and talk, you need to be the one making almost all of the moves. Girls are more passive in that regard.

So yeah, you could keep focusing on your purpose for the rest of your life but if you don’t actually are the one initiating flirty conversations with women then you will be single and sexless forever.

5_7pickup · 2022-07-06T12:13:14+00:00

That’s one of the biggest cope advice on this sub. The FoCuS oN yOuRsElF cope. This advice gets upvoted so much because it’s a feel good nonsense. It just tells men to ignore women and do their own thing and wait for the universe to drop a girl on your lap. Such cope.

Dont get me wrong, self improvement is important but self improvement by itself isnt enough. You need to take concrete specific actions to improve your dating life. It doesnt matter how rich or buff you are if you dont constantly meet new attractive women.

grindforthegold · 2022-07-06T11:45:47+00:00

lmfao dude of course that’s a darse. what they’re trying to say is if you make money and have a job you’re happy with when you meet a women she’ll be more attracted to you. but you need to expose yourself to meeting women in the first place for that to happen

montanalombardy · 2022-07-06T12:59:20+00:00

It means if you spend all your time in your basement becoming a coding expert, chicks will just teleport in there begging to fuck you.

Yeah, of course it's not how it works. You gotta go out and be social and try to get girls.

2022-07-06T11:50:39+00:00

It means make enough money so you can get prostitutes or gold diggers

Electrical-Agency-11 · 2022-07-06T19:13:44+00:00

A lot of the advice in the manosphere is around this formula of making bank + chasing excellence + becoming high value -> girls will chase you.

It becomes very toxic because it dehumanizes both the target and women. Especially when they use shaming messages as triggers to catch insecure men who lack a strong father figure. ie: "You are no real man unless -> X, buy my course blah blah."

Be on your purpose and they will come is part of that message that sells the promise of abundant pussy if you become extraordinary in a field.

Of course, having a purpose is important and of course, it is better to do something than playing video games in your basement, but never do it "for the pussy". Do it for you. Most people are going to have an ordinary life, and that is ok.

EthicalSeduction · 2022-07-06T13:18:07+00:00

Do what you love because you are responsible for your own happiness. AND if you want to find someone who is a good fit with you, think about the things you enjoy and value and where women who also like these things hang out. Go to there places, join these groups, be around people who will be a good fit with you, etc. If you want women in your life you do need to go to them.

TechnoGeek423 · 2022-07-06T16:33:26+00:00

Let me add: women can sense when you are needy. They can sense when you need them. They can also sense if you’re fulfilled on your own.

The latter is far more attractive. Nobody wants to be the missing link. And I’d also offer you should be applying the same criteria. If you meet a girl and she’s needy and expects a man to come in and complete her, RUN. She will make you all kinds of miserable.

I know because I had a girlfriend who was quite attractive, kinky (did anal, swallowed) and actually quite intelligent. She also was miserable and drained my energy. I dreaded spending time with her and we eventually broke up. One of the best, if not the best, decisions of my life.

Pain_Tough · 2022-07-06T19:48:40+00:00

Initial attraction is based on two things, physical attractiveness and proximity. Looking good and being around women. Ballroom dancing hits the problem like a hammer. It’s like 30 women and 3 men.

staier0 · 2022-07-06T21:28:06+00:00

There is a book "models" by mark manson. There is a deep discussion. Data engineer or not, read it.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-07-06T23:21:18+00:00

Yeah its partially true. Similar to when people say “just be yourself.” It doesn’t mean make no effort to be attractive to women and talk to them. It means that a man who is ambitious, independent, and has a clear mission in life will not allow women to take an unhealthy priority over everything else. Men without purpose tend to be needy and look for a mother rather than a girlfriend. Women want to be with a man who already has a high functioning, and fulfilling life that she can be a part of. Thats very important. And if you are genuinely busy, you will naturally come across as more of a challenge. These are all good things, but you do need to also have a social life and some regular interactions with women in order for them to actually know you exist. They also love it when a man is super passionate and engaged in whatever he’s doing. But again they have to be around you to see your good qualities.

RProgrammerMan · 2022-07-06T15:38:37+00:00

I think it means you shouldn’t be calling and texting women every day to hang out with you because your life is empty. You should have passions that take up your time and attention. If she dumps you or plays games it shouldn’t send you on an emotional rollercoaster because you have other sources of meaning and happiness to fall back on. You should be able to make an occasional social media post doing something fun or interesting to market yourself. In general I think it’s important not to be dependent on other people and their approval for happiness.

crashandban · 2022-07-06T16:19:19+00:00

Horrible advice. Ask me how I know....

TooMuchJibberish · 2022-07-07T02:15:13+00:00

How did you land a data engineer job btw? Were you a software developer/engineer beforehand?

MrThrowawayXD999 · 2022-07-07T04:22:18+00:00

This only works if your career gravitates to women, or attracts their attention on its own. That and your demeanor/attitude about dating would go hand to hand. But, you need to put in extra work like everyone else if your career does not do that.

lelouch_2002 · 2022-07-06T16:03:58+00:00

That just a gentle way of saying you are not attractive

Why man still bleave desny bs like be gentleman, stay on your purpose and women will come , in the right time you gonna meet your love , personality is the most important thing......

I mean come on

ResponsibilityKey427 · 2022-07-06T19:28:57+00:00

Other bad similar advice: -get more hobbies -take a shower and new wardrobe -maintain frame -abundance mindset

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-06T20:43:39+00:00

It means live your life for yourself and enjoy your career and your hobbies and the right person will appear. If you’re a genuinely a happy person and content in your life, you’ll have magnetic energy.

MaltaPepe · 2022-07-06T11:24:45+00:00

elder pua here. NO ONE WILL CUM.

Deonbx1994 · 2022-07-06T18:59:22+00:00

It basically means figure it out what you want to do That's going to make you a lot of money around high 6 to 7 figures a year. And the girls will chase your money. You won't have to chase them.

Title	What exactly do you mean by 'be on your purpose and they'll come'?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	45
Date	July 6, 2022 11:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vsnl1y/what_exactly_do_you_mean_by_be_on_your_purpose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-exactly-do-you-mean-by-be-on-your-purpose-and.1255183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255183

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