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[–]DestinyChitChat 50 points51 points52 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
You are “OK” as you are right now
You are comfortable in a position of leadership
You have come to terms with your sexuality
You have visions and goals outside of meeting women
You bring an incredible positive energy into any social interaction
You are unattached to outcomes and don’t get upset easily
You have strict rules about what behavior you do or do not accept from other people
You are interested in human psychology
You are playful
You are comfortable in social situations
You have a deep knowingness that women want you
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This ^ literally get that shit tattooed on the back of your hand or carve it into your bedroom ceiling. Supremely underrated advice
[–]Lonely_Man22 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Doesn’t believing in this actually make me delusional? The knowing that women want me part when in reality it never happened.
[–]DestinyChitChat 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Perception is reality. We are all delusional in some way convincing ourselves of a conspiracy theory or that a woman doesn't like us when in fact she does and vice versa. Might as well choose a delusion that benefits you until it becomes reality. Fake it til you make it.
You are the product of millions of years of evolution from the best of the best. It is in your DNA to draw the opposite sex in. Imagine the first caveman who wasn't a product of evolution and his genes were pushed out of the pool. That was one lonely man. Pun intended.
All of this is in the book I emailed to you.
[–]lelouch_2002 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Deserve 1000 upvotes
[–]smurfhito 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What’s the book? Sounds interesting. Great advice.
[–]DestinyChitChat 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's kinda old so not sure if you can find it today. One of the books is called The Attraction Code by Vin DiCarlo.
[–]mondayortampa 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You gotta honestly believe that you are good enough to have a real connection/spark/relationships or whatever you are seeking. Even if it hasn’t happened yet. It’s more about believing In Yourself…which usually calls for better outcome
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is really what you need. Only thing I would add is that you should keep in mind several specific moments in your life that you are proud of and make you unique
A time when you overcame difficulty
An accomplishment that you had to work for
A particular compliment or time that you felt attractive
An experience (or experiences) you have that most others don’t have. Something you can teach a woman
[–]abnormal_flora 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I came here to say, just focus on you! So I love that every sentence starts with "you".
Develop and dive into your interests and hobbies. If your confidence is tied to how you looks, then take time to work on yourself. You are the only one you can control. I feel like doing those things, will make a woman want to be part of your life. It just straight up feels sexier if I'm interested and chasing, rather than some guy encroaching my space. I'm not saying that you guys should never approach women, this is all solely my opinion, but seems like dudes are just mostly at the ready, so them coming to me, is a bit of a trope. I dunno, but make me want to be part of YOUR world, then it's on. And that experience, I think, would feel more fulfilling to both parties.
Disclaimer: Married woman who just enjoyed a wake and bake 😅
EDIT: But women, we have to start being more confident in ourselves and being brave enough to make the first move! I think that men are trying to move in the right direction, and ladies, we aren't perfect. We have work to do, too.
[–]Sumieru 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thank you for this
[–]Liberaler 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Of your countless ancestors all managed to have sex. There is no reason to think you are not part of that line.
every failed attempt teaches you somethings and takes you closer to success
taking your chances with women is an adventure and expression of your masculinity and therefor a win in itself. The outcomes are secondary.
guys much older than you managed to turn their lives around. It may be late but not too late, as long as you take action now.
[–]saito200 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feel good about yourself in your own right. Work out and adopt responsibilities in your life, become wiser, to the point where if someone doesn't like you, you think "I know I'm good, because I am honest, I act, I do my best everyday, I have my shit together. If they don't like what I'm doing, I probably wouldn't like them either".
Also, you don't need to "have success with women" and you shouldn't think that you need that. You don't need to attract most women. What you need is to find a connection with one woman that you like. One woman, not one hundred, not ten, not two, one.
[–]idk_anything999 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Winners win in mind and then in field.
Just have good confidence and do approach.
[–]CocoBabeNYC 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do this exercise with every virgin. Ask yourself, have you ever had a woman who you weren't interested in, be interested in you? Can you think of one? What about another one? What three, four, five?
See, there have been women interested in you (I guarantee it) although you may not have been interested in them. Maybe you never made a move, maybe you were too pussy, but the thing is here was at least one woman who at one point wanted to mate with you. Again, not saying she threw herself at you. Just saying that she was willing.
And if one woman has been interested in you, there are many more.
[–]HooperSinger2001 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be Comfortable In your own skin
Be courteous!
Realize that nobody cares at the end of the day when the sun sets, a new day awaits us!
I learned this tip and I will use this as well! Write down 5 things you do and don’t like. The ones that you don’t like you write an alternative on how you can improve on it🙏🏽.
May god bless you🙏🏽
[–]Lighthero34 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you wanna go through the trouble, DM me and we can go over what will help you.
[–]Everlast23 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like having a growth mindset. Learning from my dating experiences, both good and bad, that way I know what to do better next time.
I also like to be outcome independent that way I won't get my feelings hurt as often. I just tell myself I'm going to enjoy my time with this person is all.
[–]Domestic_Buy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Abundance mindset who could care less about rejection.
You do not seek permission or signs from a women to make a move.
You believe you are a stud who’s talking to women to find out if you want to take them to bed.
You move things in the direction that you want to go and handle objections accordingly.
[–]examine8 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What age are you?
[–]Lonely_Man22 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
26
[–]pusterum 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Best quote i heard is, “date from a position of power” - thats what women do!
[–]focus_flow69 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Start small and counting your small wins as success. Such as simply looking women in the eye and saying hi. Thats a win. Then once you get some momentum from these small wins, you do more such as actually approaching, maybe just to ask for directions or something indirect. That's another win. You build on this, understanding that your expectation is just to accumulate small wins to build your confidence and mindset. Then move on to approaching and actually having a normal conversation. Then ask for numbers, flirt more, banter more etc. Small wins lead to large wins, it's about progression.
Accumulate these small wins while you adopt the list of mindsets that other guy posted. The combination of the mindset change and accumulation of small changes will change your perceptions to become reality, and thus give you more confidence and it will no longer be a "delusion". You also don't have to be worried about it being a delusion because you are simply adopting the mindset that is most beneficial for your success.
[–]epimpstyle 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The life you are living now is a paradox dude.
You have no gf which makes you sad but if you are sad the girls will not find you attractive and it is clear that in this case, you will have no gf, so the circle starts again.
If you continue the same as it was so far, you will live the same life...
[–]carlos1973633826 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First off I’ll tell you, you are at a very big disadvantage. I can tell you women love flirting, being teased, have guys make move on them, but unless you experienced all these things it will be hard to believe.
Best advice I can give you and you may not like this is to game women who you feel are below your league. They will give you positive reinforcement because they are easier to attract. As you confidence in game increase start approaching women you find more attractive.
[–]Lonely_Man22 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How am I at a disadvantage?
[–]carlos1973633826 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You said you haven’t had success with women. That means you never experienced a women’s sexual side or seen the things that women react positively to. If you have never experienced something it’s harder to grasp. When something is harder to grasp it puts you at a disadvantage because you don’t know where to start, and often have to get yourself out your comfort zone so that you can experience things.
[–]MaltaPepe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
u r a redditor not a 4channer
[–]Extra-Boysenberry -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Keep expectations low.
[–]Liberaler 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This actually is a good mindset. When your expectations are low, you will not get disappointed so easily. You'll be able to enjoy little successes. Low expectations do not automatically imply that one assumes failure, it can also mean that you have a neutral mindset, that is free of positive and negative assumptions. Lulling yourself with these hyper-positive affirmations works, when you are at home. But as soon as you are in the field, you need a more realistic mindset, that works under pressure, that incorporates the negativity, you might feel in this moment. That is why the mindsets I posted (see below/above) are also based on low expectations.
[–]RepulsiveCat1681 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
everyone falls in love
[–]Embarrassed_Glass826 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s an ABUNDANCE of women.
[–]TooMuchJibberish 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That it probably won't happen and to move on and focus on other things like career and hobbies
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[–]DestinyChitChat 50 points51 points52 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Man22 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]DestinyChitChat 16 points17 points18 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lelouch_2002 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smurfhito 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DestinyChitChat 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mondayortampa 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]abnormal_flora 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sumieru 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Liberaler 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]saito200 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idk_anything999 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HooperSinger2001 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lighthero34 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Everlast23 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Domestic_Buy 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]examine8 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Man22 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pusterum 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]epimpstyle 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]carlos1973633826 -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Man22 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]carlos1973633826 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MaltaPepe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Extra-Boysenberry -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Liberaler 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RepulsiveCat1681 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Embarrassed_Glass826 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TooMuchJibberish 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link