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[–]catanistan 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
To be honest, reading this post I understood the feminine perspective on this for the first time. The trick to not being creepy might be about knowing when to stop.
[–]johannthegoatman 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's definitely 80% of it, the other 20% is taking care of yourself. If you are gross (meaning the things you can change - clean clothes, hygiene, healthyish) it's also a non starter. But knowing when to stop flirting is absolutely essential.
As a bonus, I've gotten girls because of how well I took rejection. Some girls are so used to being relentlessly hit on that when you are not bothered by a rejection, and don't keep trying, that self awareness and lack of desperation can be very attractive.
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[–]backwards703 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No you can’t win, you just need to tube up your social skills and you’ll start winning. They’re just people bro
[–]maxsolmusic -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can if you walk the line better
[–]bandsupjay -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You cant win.
[–]rocksnstyx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally
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[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
" I stated clearly in the last paragraph to use common sense and read between the lines."
if if had that i wouldnt be on a sub called seduction ;)
that could have gone really badly, if he couldnt read cues. Like coming on pretty strong there dude, following you to the bathroom?? The whole peristence thing is good until its bad
still the most important takeaway is this. spontaneous vs responsive desire. men are mostly spotaneous? women are mostly responsive? So don't expect women to heat up fast like men
[–]luhvxr 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
yes key word if. of course it would go badly in that circumstance but he was able to read cues and was able to tell from her vibe that she was into it which is why he persisted
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No he was able to not give a shit because he was with his friends and was thus vouched for as....not a molester
Stiill she was the new person and if she wanted him to go away she would be in a tough spot
[–]luhvxr 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
agree to disagree i guess
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Question to OP, first you said
At first, I was not interested, It went from me not being interested to actually attracted
At first, I was not interested,
It went from me not being interested to actually attracted
Then you said
. Who in his right mind would continue being flirty when she isn’t responsive and seem bothered?
So you say you shouldn't continue being flirt if she doesn't seem interested yet he continued when you weren't interested and it worked.
So what's the difference here?
[–]lana_del_reymysterio 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If someone isn't responsive, they aren't interested.
She said she wasn't interested at first. How was I supposed to know she was responsive but not interested (at first) instead of not interested and not responsive but the guy pushed through anyway?
[–]brunetten89 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks for clarifying. Exactly this. Just because I am not initially romantically interested doesn’t mean I get bothered when someone flirt or speak to me. I had a normal conversation with him and allowed him to be himself/flirt without me being bothered by it.
[–]quiriviejita 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
With questions like this I'm not surprised a lot of guys in this sub isn't able to pick up on any girls.
We men can be so dumb when instead of figuring out we actively try to misread things, be it a Reddit post or a human interaction...
[–]bandsupjay 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lotta jealous weirdos in this chat. Nothing wrong with what she said, we should take it as advice
[–]Snakehead004 69 points70 points71 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Yup this works very well for young and/or low self esteem women.
Confidence is always sexy, being over confident or pushy isn't. I was at a birthday party with friends last weekend and I invited a female friend to tag along. She's 30f and absolutely stunning. One guys at the party did exactly what you're describing and the results were hilarious. She became increasing put off by his constant attention and overbearing attitude (too touchy with no reciprocation), hands on her chair, even offered to walk downstairs with her to meet another friend. She ended up loudly telling the whole party exactly why she wasn't into him 🤣
But, she's very confident and emotionally mature..
[–]Demonarke 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It works very well when the woman finds you attractive, that's it.
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
exactly, best example here. You can and should be somewhat aggresive after you talk a bit and laugh and see if you're into each other, otherwise it's the mentality " i don't care if i like her personality, i just want to fuck her because she looks good and will hit on her regardless "
[–]mrpodo 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You don't need to insult OP just because she started to vibe with what some guy was doing. Not all women are going to vibe the same way
[–]Snakehead004 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well put, thank for pointing that out and adding to the conversation. Her updates definitely make the whole thing seem less preditory. Still, going balls to the wall like that can definitely have bad consequences. Especially for 5's
[–]mrpodo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're good at reading body language (and know when to quit that shit if she isn't inviting) it shouldn't be a problem honestly
[–]Gnostromo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Guessing you being a dick to others drops panties
[–]Snakehead004 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Isn't that the point of this sub (s)
It has nothing to do with the girls self esteem.
It has to do everything with the guy.
The loser there was the guy whose attitude you are describing. The guy from OP's post is a winner. It is not an accident. He is a winner, not a creep.
[–]JPD15 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of people are forgetting the importance of the two step process. Step 1 is obviously be attractive. Yeah, he may not have checked that box as OP said they weren’t immediately attracted to them. Step 2 is don’t be unattractive, and he seems to have done that well enough to have become attractive to OP. So, instead of getting sour about whatever hypothetical situation you’ve come up with in your mind, take whatever parts of the advice you want from the post and give it a shot.
[–]-Mavs 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Stupid that blue pill dorks will call the advice given here as incel or whatever derogatory term is being used right now when it’s just reality.
Again, assertiveness is only seen as attractive if the dude is good looking himself.
Imagine if this guy was the dude last night: https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/batman-returns-penguin-danny-devito-warner.jpg?resize=768%2C432
[–]Socialinception 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey, it's a strawman!
The fact people upvote argument that is essentially, "If he was the ugiest man out of a thousand, this wouldn't have worked," says a lot about the state of this Subreddit.
I knew a dude who was extremely ugly who pulled more than most guys I know, cute girls too.
Was it harder for him? Yes. But he didn't complain about his situation, he did something about it.
[–]certaintyisdangerous 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is really bad advice to follow it, if your a guy especially Being this assertive could probably lead into legal trouble, harassment allegations….etc
[–]brunetten89 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah if you insist to flirt with a far left feminist this would not prob work. I am the opposite. I like masculine energies.
[–]luhvxr 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
why are all the comments deleted
[–]Smeathy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why are there so many deleted comments, what happened here?
[–]Pipnotiq 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good question, I took a glance at this previously and all I remember was one comment about how they must have thought the guy was attractive initially if he was allowed to put his arm around her chair in the first place
Bizarre anyway
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
We get this, the risk is that once you flirt and it gets rejected, you can’t recover the whole rest of the night. Some people are okay with that, but most not so much. So, you have to be willing to accept the risk of being labeled a creep and making your entire night a little painful if you are going to be in a group all night.
[+]brunetten89 -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah thats exactly what confidence means, taking risks
[–]sportsdude523 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
can you gibe some examples of what he did?
because i can tell when a girl is interested. but if a girl isn't that interested at first, it takes some time and multiple interactions before you can get somewhere. otherwise i just feel weird giving unreciprocated attention.
what did he do to bridge the gap? if i have a template, i am pretty masterful at moving forward. just need a model for it really quickly.
[–]fielddaydownstairs 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So to recap, if you're a man, be assertive, except when you're not supposed to be assertive.
Women
🤣
[–]AnthonyAValera 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Be above average looking (hit the gym + tattoos, any guy can achieve this, even if u have an ugly face or not a girls type, ie not a race she’s not into, not a height she’s into, etc) + have confidence (be direct about your attraction to her) = LAID. simple. it requires changing ur habits to become this person, but its possible for every guy to be above average. And above average is enough to hit a woman’s minimum standard of whether a hot girl would fuck u or not. If ur above average, the girl ur hitting on has probably fucked a guy uglier than u. And if ur above average and get rejected, she’s just not available (ie has a boyfriend, single but not horny enough, didnt shave her pussy, hates men, etc.).
[–]blake270797 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What happened to the comment section?
Like so many others mentioned we've always got that constant voice in the back of our head. "Don't be a creep, is this over the line? Am i going to far? Is she feeling unsafe?"
Most of us would love to just TAKE THE LEAD but it is really hard to recover from reading a single signal wrong.
[–]brunetten89 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sorry to hear that is the feeling. It shouldn’t be like that. I guess society has been so brainwashed to not offend anyone, everything you say or do is offensive nowadays
[–]HandsomeTomatoes22 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I could be wrong here but this doesn’t seem like the recipe for creating attraction. Is confidence enough to create attraction? He seemed a bit needy, no?
OP, might be leaving out other details. Was this man attractive, nice dress attire, in-shape, etc. Please fill us in on the rest.
[–]Mindless_Canary5130 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this is what real game looks like, if a girl is interested she’s gonna help you out to move interaction forward but creating attraction with girls not interested is what real fun game looks like. So basically he came with her friends this guy already holds a value, which helped him to build attraction.
[–]chrispdx 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I stated clearly in the last paragraph to use common sense and read between the lines.
You seriously overestimate the average guy's ability to "read between the lines"
[–]brunetten89 -5 points-4 points-3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Are people really that clueless? I can read between the lines only by looking at someone, I don’t even need to speak
[–]focus_flow69 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes its literally like 90% of men struggling on this sub. Seems to be a common theme with the overthinking analytic and introverted personalities of some men. For women, this comes naturally and maybe the disconnect in dating is the woman don't really understand this perspective from men. They can't fathom how someone could be so out of tune socially when to most women it seems like a no brainer. Well, as you can see, it's a common issue and why some men are misunderstood to be creepy when they are just unable to read social cues. And the perpuation of calling men who hit on women creeps is a never ending cycle for them because it makes them self conscious of trying to hit on women.
[–]chrispdx 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Congratulations on having that ability. It comes from being well socialized and being around people who treated you with respect and kindness. Many MANY guys have grown up in toxic environments with little social skills and an inability to read body cues that to you seems second nature. "Clueless" is a rather harsh term to use for these kind of people. They need blunt but kind feedback.
[–]cronasminate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Update: so a lot of you say this would be creepy if the woman wasn’t at all attracted to him. OFCOURSE it would. Who in his right mind would continue being flirty when she isn’t responsive and seem bothered?
You see most guys miss that part so it's important to emphasize. A lot of guys do keep pursuing because CONFIDENCE IS SO HOT. It's important to make sure that guys get that you try once and then you stop if she doesn't respond positively otherwise you'd be posting on r/xchromosome and saying all men are disgusting pigs.
[–]Curia-DD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I could have written this same post from my own experiences - guys this is the truth, confidence (true confidence) is so very hot.
[–]BJJ-Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The point is, there needs to be initial attraction from the women first. If a woman is not attracted to you, no matter how confident you are, you will come off creepy because you’re going over the top. No one is arguing that confidence is not important. People are arguing with OP’s claim that she wasn’t interested in him before and all of a sudden became interested solely based on his confidence. It had nothing to do with him being over 6 feet tall. If guys actually try that and put an arm around a woman who they just met, in public, he’d be beaten up by everyone around him if the woman doesn’t receive it well
[–]Big_al_big_bed 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But isn't the point of this sub seduction? Surely part of seduction is being able to read people's cues. OP was obviously responding well to this guys forward approach, so he continued. If it was a different response, maybe he backed off and tried to be lighter or playing it cool. And if nothing works then she's just not interested.
I think the main thing everyone who is complaining about the height or that he must be a base line level of attractiveness, is that they do not love themselves. If you are not comfortable in your own body, then how can you expect people to be comfortable with you? This is what people mean when they talk about confidence.
[–]Robofrogg1 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OMG the comments here. You redpill guys are off the chain today. Such bitterness and negativity, and you wonder why no one wants to date you? Gee nope couldn’t be the condescending, negative, loser mindset nope, nope it’s gotta be looks…yeah….sure, pal.
[–]laboa74 -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of simps creeping in the comments, even with the common sense disclaimer
[–]chrissolo_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A gay guy told be that I was confident I would be a 9.5.
Then he told me that I was a 7
[–]AutistNerd 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do not do what she said. Not everyone is the same. Confidence is hot but not always. Overconfident to someone dislike you will never have a good ending. Take a hint and move on. When theyre not interested but you keep trying, it will turn out badly. She speak for herself overall. I felt so cringe when someone not interested but putting one of my arms around their char. Hmm. Would never do that.
[–]AnthonyAValera -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
bro, dont be a pussy. have some edge and do what u want. and be comfortable with awkward situations, and if she’s say NO, walk away and say “next girl.”
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So situational reading and mental health, noted ✅
[–]ihavenopeopleskills 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for your service to those of us who agonizingly need advice like this.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope people don't take your post as something all women secretly want or something. This sounds so weird, like a stereotype
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