Thinking about dating/hooking up so much I’m losing focus on my career goals. Advices? [recovered]

Pheasantluvr69 · 2022-05-31T04:27:07+00:00

If you spend all your time hooking up you’re gonna regret not having higher ambitions and if you spend all your time on your career you’re gonna regret not spending your youth chasing more women. Your efforts aren’t in vain though. Just by putting yourself out there and trying new things you are learning and getting something out of it. Rome was not built in a day. The progress might seem just as slow if you spent all that time trying to further your own career. My advise is sit with yourself and evaluate your own needs and desires and prioritize based on that.

Beneficial-Tip-4044 · 2022-05-31T08:58:52+00:00

you need to level up bro, get into the gym, take care of your appearance. Do yourself a favor. Last thing you want to do is get involved with a girl while having 0 self esteem as you'll just be at their mercy

Calamity__Bane · 2022-05-31T17:28:42+00:00

Right now you’re confused and don’t know exactly which way to turn, because your mind has set up a false dichotomy of career/dating and finds neither completely satisfying. As a result, your will is paralyzed, because you are trying to do two things you don’t really want to do and are sacrificing things you believe are important. The solution is to take a step back from both and look for a higher synthesis. Your problem is not that your desires are incompatible, but that the way your mind is organizing them is forcing them into the same space in ways that make them incompatible.

Inner before outer. If you want to see breakthroughs in your personal life, you’ll need to make sure you are completely receptive internally. That doesn’t only mean willing what you want, but ensuring that there is nothing inside blocking you. It’s not only a question of will, but also a question of decluttering and organizing your will.

Both-Roof8394 · 2022-05-31T18:25:39+00:00

Dating apps is not going to be the best way to utilize your time if you’re looking to hook up with quality girls. Attractive girls on dating apps get 1000’s of matches and it’s very hard to stand out. For most guys, you’re not going to find the girl of your dreams on dating apps. You need to be doing pick up in person.

The best way to date I found is going out twice per month. Now that I’m in my 30’s I realized dating apps were a waste of my effort, time and money. At least if you’re approaching in person, you can show your personality and your looks by dressing up. You’ll also be able to see what kind of personality the girl has as well.

I personally like to go out solo. Go to a nightclub when it’s near closing hours if you want to hook up. Also make sure you’re going to the club that has the most girls. Preferably go to a club where you can watch reruns of a sports game. Don’t go there expecting to hook up. I don’t get chad like results but I get a lot of IOI’s and hook up with women every now and then. Just have a few beers and watch the game. Do not even think about approaching girls. Let them approach you. Sit at a table with a few seats open so girls can come sit down. When you’re not chasing girls your mindset really shifts and it will allow you to focus on your ambitions. Women will also take notice that you’re not desperate.

I went to the club this weekend and sat down by myself and watched the game. I would say 5 different girls sat down on the table next to me a couple of groups and one solo girl in a matter of an hour. The conversations didn’t go anywhere but we had a great conversation. And I got a couple of numbers.

The best way I found to get a laugh out of them is insult them. Ask them how their night is going. Tell them they look lonely as fuck tonight. If she says she’s not looking for anything tonight, most of the time it’s a shit test. When a girl says that, I ask if she’s celibate. Some girls will get a good laugh and some girls won’t. The point is to not care what the result is. She knows the reason why I’m out by myself tonight. If she’s a prude and tries to argue just walk away.

At the final hour. One really attractive girl took notice of me at the table and walked up to me, grabbed my hand and walked me to the dance floor. She initiated the kiss and we ended up making out but didn’t hook up. So the key is to have some balance. Realize you’re not going to score all of the time and put yourself in a position to hook up. Logistics are very important when it comes to game. Learn that shit and breath it. You don’t have to be super attractive to score a hot chick. Just learn some game.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-31T02:49:25+00:00

Focus on yourself and career goals. If you have money and you’re successful you can be ugly af and still get women.

kiramdahanett · 2022-05-31T01:35:46+00:00

bro this is totally normal & good,you're 22 the fuck you wanna do ? get some paycheck raise? earning 2 grands more ? then do what with that?

it's totally normal to be focused more on pussy at this age , you don't wanna start hitting up on girls when you don't have any testosterone left , doesn't matter if you're riding a lambo .

* i read the description & now i know your situation ain't good , you chose a wrong way to pussy , inefficient & full of shit.

remove the apps & go out to do daygame as much as you want. that's right way to do it.

Effective_Elk_4719 · 2022-05-31T15:50:14+00:00

Hit the gym and put on muscle. Weight training is one of the best investments a guy can make on himself. Don't lose focus on your career. Money, career and status become a huge differentiating factor in attracting women starting in your late twenties. Online dating sucks for most guys. You need to learn cold approach, build a social circle and learn game.

Much-Teacher-4191 · 2022-05-31T16:44:50+00:00

If you really want to fuck that quick there’s always prostitutes

WS_Slammin · 2022-05-31T17:41:25+00:00

Dude, spend your energy working on yourself, education and health. I was the same years back until I decided to just stop wasting my time and energy. I traveled, studied, worked out, found things to do with my friends, etc. Woman started paying more attention all of a sudden.

Find things to do, hobbies, sports, etc. And you will be a better and more interesting person in the end. Stay focused, you won't regret it. I am happy I stayed in course.

PainDevourer · 2022-06-01T16:29:17+00:00

It’s not a phase, I’m 29 and still feel like this from time to time 😄 What helps me is quitting porn and masturbation, at least to some degree. To most men this has additional benefits as well, such as having more energy and increased confidants with girls, so you should definitely give it a try! Otherwise you just have to keep going and trying different things. You will improve, even if it feels like stagnation sometimes.

burncushlikewood · 2022-05-31T02:24:54+00:00

Yea controlling your sexual urges is very important in this life, it's a balancing act you don't want to be so horny that you can't focus. Try finding a gf, it'll help you out, don't go on tinder do some day game or night game, I know all the best puas to look into if you need it just comment here and I'll tell you.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-05-31T08:43:21+00:00

You just simply have to shift your focus to something else. My game progress was kinda similar but I just wanted to be more attractive and reach that good enough level. Once you got your personality and looks right and also you got the game or just a basic understanding that helps you to get laid it's gonna come almost naturally. Or just try out a nightclub it's by far the fastest way to get laid also it forces you to deal with her friends. I'm not that expert in game but in clubs, I usually pull several times/night so it's easier than it seems also everything happens faster than in daygame

LordFlanders · 2022-05-31T08:47:28+00:00

I do have a good career already but still having that issue. I think it's just the way it is, you have to find a recipe to find the balance. Putting the phone away during work helps me to focus on my work.

burncushlikewood · 2022-05-31T02:25:02+00:00

Yea controlling your sexual urges is very important in this life, it's a balancing act you don't want to be so horny that you can't focus. Try finding a gf, it'll help you out, don't go on tinder do some day game or night game, I know all the best puas to look into if you need it just comment here and I'll tell you.

RareWar5420 · 2022-05-31T01:52:29+00:00

How often do you fap ?

revente · 2022-05-31T01:31:36+00:00

This entire subreddit is advice.

Also masturbate. It'll help you focus.

piliponful · 2022-05-31T14:01:52+00:00

Oooh, I'm in absolutely same situation

2022-05-31T15:22:57+00:00

Since you aren't even good at it you should probably stop obsessing over it because you are wasting your time.

Amkg2020 · 2022-05-31T15:39:11+00:00

Women aren't worth it kid

SkotchKrispie · 2022-05-31T20:37:56+00:00

This happened to me. I decided to completely check out of the activity. You’ll be happier as well as have more success hooking up if you have a better job and more confidence in that area anyway. I’d focus on your money first, and then see what you can get dating on your way to the money; having it will make things much easier for you dating anyway.

itsazdeen · 2022-06-01T01:04:03+00:00

bro I am as old as you and the biggest mistake I did in the past three years is focusing too much on game and ignored other sides such as health, career, lifestyle ...
you think if you put too much focus on game then you will improve your game fast then you will focus in other sides of your life, this is not how it works, at the end you'll find yourself didn't improve at any area including game, giving game 90% of your focus will actually hurt your game, the moment I stopped focusing only on game and included other ares I started to see real progress in my game and my approach anxiety has became not the biggest deal
so go run, go to the gym, pickup new hobbies, improve your lifestyle, go to cool places like parties and clubs, work on a good IG and make your life more interesting then game will be easier and you will have an unstoppable confidence

youcheekydelinquent · 2022-06-01T22:06:05+00:00

Focus on yourself man. 22 seems old to to you but get your head right, build your focus and attention on the things that matter most.

Title	Thinking about dating/hooking up so much I’m losing focus on my career goals. Advices? [recovered]
Author	New_Business_464 [recovered]
Upvotes	50
Comments	36
Date	May 31, 2022 1:28 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v1exkx/thinking_about_datinghooking_up_so_much_im_losing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/thinking-about-datinghooking-up-so-much-im-losing.1258288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1258288

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