[deleted by user]

vardarac · 2022-05-12T23:31:54+00:00

Long ago I met a girl that I had that kind of "deep conversation" with right off the bat. It was really chill, the only difference was that I unapologetically flirted and made just enough eye contact to make my other thoughts clear but not suffocate the conversation.

The problem was that I stopped doing this in later encounters because I became afraid to lose her, and very quickly did. So I would say that there has to always be this sexual undercurrent or side-current, if you will.

KriticalKarl · 2022-05-13T00:00:17+00:00

I actually briefly shared a similar situation in a comment earlier today.

From my experience, it has been the issue of not making your intentions know. I had a similar conversation where we had a deep conversation on the date and it gave off a friendly vibe and she tried to friend zone me. Ultimately I turned it around during our next interaction by killing the friendly vibe. When we have deep conversation when a women we just met we remove all the mystery. They have no incentive to get to know you if you give them your narrated autobiography on the date.

Trust me man, I’m the same when it comes to deep conversations, but when it comes to seduction I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t really matter what your preference is, what works simply works. There is more than enough opportunity to have those convos when you’re actually committed, other wise it’s best to keep those convos for the boys only.

spiderSlayerr · 2022-05-13T00:01:26+00:00

What in tf do you talk about for 4 hours at a bar my guy… never met a guy that can last 30min + talking to someone they just met. Like bro stop talking. And say what YOU REALLY WANNA SAY

Zalo4 · 2022-05-13T01:23:11+00:00

I'm a deep conversationalist and I've made this mistake before. My issue was a fear of letting my masculine sexuality out. You have to not be afraid to show your desire for her. This doesn't have to be done directly through words.

Feel your sexual desire for her, look at her like you want her, and escalate physically (look at DiCarlo escalation ladder). You can throw in flirtation/teases if you'd like, but a lot can be said through body language alone. Some examples: when she's talking look at her eyes, then look at her lips, then back to her eyes. If she's comfortable with you touching her leg, instead of just putting your hands on her leg, you can lightly squeeze her thigh or brush your fingers on her inner thigh.

Of course all this requires calibration, but if she likes you she wants to feel like you want her sexually and that you're not afraid to show it.

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-05-13T00:46:25+00:00

You have to make the interaction and topics more sexual make your intentions clear of you are scard to make your intentions clear just always be pushing to invite her over it will let her know

Neo-Rio · 2022-05-13T01:13:34+00:00

Being deep and talking about emotions is what you should be doing, but only if those emotions you bring up are all good ones. If you go all negative nancy and take her into places where she's going to feel sad, angry, or disgusted - then you're not helping things.

The trust and comfort part gets you a foot in the door to go sexual and push boundaries.
The trouble is if you stay there and fail to move things into the sexual - you are just going to line yourself up to be an emotional tampon and find yourself in the friend zone.

So the solution is to use the trust and comfort setup to start talking about how it's really nice when you trust someone so much that there's an anticipation for what comes next - when you completely open up and let someone come... deeply... into her life!

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-05-13T01:58:47+00:00

Women want to play and have fun. That’s the part you are missing. Too deep too little fun, too little sexual tension. Teasing, messing with her, joking around, roasting, is better than creating excessive comfort, and being vulnerable.

Also: The more vulnerable, the lesser the attraction.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-05-13T02:17:57+00:00

How do you make sure this stops happening? Stop telling your life story to some woman you just met. Try to keep a little mystery about yourself and instead, try to get her talking. What is she passionate about? Where did she grow up? Where did she go to school? Try to learn about her and talk less about yourself. Women love a guy that will listen to them.

LetErCarryEr19 · 2022-05-13T12:37:52+00:00

Girls don't want to meet guys to have long deep conversations. Girls want to meet guys to have their dick deep inside them.

That's cool and all that you had a deep conversation with her and and connected with her well but there was nothing about you that screamed "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you and make you cum hard." Nope. Instead all you did was show her how much of a pussy you are by giving her a "quick peck on the lips" at the end of the date.

Not shitting on you at all, we all have our lessons we need to learn on this journey. Next time, go for the kiss at the bar and not some shitty quick peck on the lips. Give ger an actual fucking kiss but tease her before you do it. Get close to her lips and say to her in a soft and seductive voice "I want to kiss you so bad but I'm going to make you wait" and then pull back.

Tease her, get close to her and tell her she smells so fucking good, touch her in a playful way whether it's a light slap on the arm or a silly game of thumb wars, dance with her, lead her, pull her in then push her away, etc.

Do you get the point? Your job is to turn her on and make her think about how amazing it's going to be to fuck you. She definitely won't be thinking those thoughts after only a peck on the lips at the end of the date.

Good luck!

Samadamz · 2022-05-13T00:42:21+00:00

This is due to you assuming that when she knows who you are she will like you but she has already created a fake version of you and will continue to project her ideal on to you until you tell her things that pop that bubble and she bails.

Reasonable-Treacle96 · 2022-05-13T01:44:04+00:00

I got called sweet by this sexy black girl at work. A little context I cooked some food it was delicious she wanted some I made her a plate.

Anyways I felt my soul wither a bit.

fightingflightllama · 2022-05-13T02:28:37+00:00

Easy send her a pic of your dick

incognito3107 · 2022-05-13T08:47:54+00:00

Being called "sweet" is often not bad at all, but you seem to just talk through topics that had little to do with escalating your physical and mental intimacy or increasing attraction and sexual tension. It is no surprise that she lost her interest if you invited her for a date and then behaved all the way like a talk friend, right?

Constant_Constant430 · 2022-05-13T13:04:03+00:00

Too deep too quickly for me is a red flag...

ZidaneLoire · 2022-05-13T13:25:31+00:00

You shouldn't go deep on the first date. In fact, you should cut her off if she goes a certain depth. You should be a little shallow but fun. You left too much of your vulnerable side in, case in point, she called you sweet.

Imagine you're a story. If you tell the middle before the beginning, then you're a terrible story. If you're a song that begins on full tempo, then it's not a good song. Convey yourself like you'd convey a story or a song.

And like all good stories and songs, you should be fun.

SnooShortcuts8381 · 2022-05-13T14:12:27+00:00

You and I are in the same boat bud

Kadabrium · 2022-05-13T16:14:36+00:00

surely not “sweaty”?

Captain_Doppelganger · 2022-05-13T16:57:39+00:00

Try to not get too deep in the first date. It's like binge watching a show after the first episode interests you, it ruins the show for you because you've decided to burn yourself out on it. Another example is reading eight chapters into a book, instead of taking the time to process a chapter.

Give her the first chapters, save the rest for more dates.

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-05-13T19:13:27+00:00

Dude a date is light and playful 45 min to an hour screening which can potentially end in sex

You can be a deep guy but that is a part of you you slowly reveal to a woman

No man should be dumping their problems onto a woman. This is not to say guys don't have struggles but if you don't have that in check what are you doing on a date

Bottom line, light and playful with a bit of sexuality

You treated her like a therapist and she treated you like a client

Read No More Mr Nice Guy and Way of the Superior Man for starters. I think they will benefit you greatly as you need to totally up end and revamp your perception of female/male interactions

It's good you're reaching out for help. read those books if you actually want to start making a change

gillmanblacklagooner · 2022-05-13T20:58:39+00:00

There’s a fine line between showing our intentions clearly & moving gradually into what we want. Learn how to communicate it.

Last_Package7287 · 2022-05-13T22:07:09+00:00

All of the stuff you were talking about is cool, just make sure you include some sexual things. Not for nothing if y'all were talking 3 -4 hrs clearly yall were comfortable with each other. She still needs to know that you wanna wax some ass. It doesn't have to be blatant (probably shouldn't be blatant) but a couple well placed "that's what she said" or something indirectly sexual will keep you from being "sweet". A lesson that took me a little while to learn as well

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	42
Comments	27
Date	May 12, 2022 10:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uodmp6/first_date_called_me_sweet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1259810 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259810

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