how the hell can i finally get a girlfriend?

dobbs1997 · 2022-04-16T00:43:38+00:00

Don’t try to MAKE a girl like you, just start interacting with them more often, meet new ones and you’ll inevitably meet some who like you and you capitalize on those ones (assuming that you’re also interested in them) ..don’t jump into a relationship either just go on and experience different women, have fun.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-16T00:57:01+00:00

You need to read the wiki in this subreddits menu, because your question is too broad.

WilhelmTrooper · 2022-04-16T14:15:23+00:00

19M here. Im in the same boat as you. Never done any of that stuff before. I’ve dated but like back in high school freshman year for a couple months so it doesn’t really count lmao.

I remember being in high school and now college and wondering “Why don’t girls like me? Why am I not getting a girlfriend?” It took a lot of introspection and trying to get my social anxiety out to the way to really examine my situation and realize that the problem was with me. I wasn’t desirable by those around me. I wasn’t that good at communicating, I was always letting my social anxiety prevent me from expressing myself, I cared too much about what everybody thought of me, and I wasn’t necessarily interested in a specific girl so much as I was interested in having a girlfriend/relationship.

My point is don’t just look at women in general as some sort of prize that you have to win. Take this time to get your life together. Work on your communication skills. Become as self aware as possible. You’re already doing well for yourself health wise since you’re going to the gym again and staying active with a sport. Work on developing skills, learn something new as often as you can. Skills that interest you or are gonna be necessary for life going forward. These things will both make you more confident in yourself and your abilities but also more desirable. Don’t just try to date girls because you want a relationship, try to date the individual person you’re actually interested in. A helpful tip that I use everyday is when I’m thinking about relationships and women and everything I ask myself “Which head am I thinking with right now?” You’ll know the answer. Think with the one in your skull.

The best way to get yourself a relationship is to get to a place mentally where you don’t feel like you “need” one. You have to grow to “want” a relationship and not “need” one. Coming off as desperate and also that you just want a relationship and not the individual in question is a huge turnoff and people can sense those intentions from a mile away.

Also try to express your true self as much as you can. Do the things that make you happy, engage in what makes you happy. Let that authentic version of yourself out!

Now, NONE of what I said is easy, everything is incredibly challenging and are some thing that will take months or longer to fully complete. I’m still battling with a lot of these right now, it’s a journey. Nothing in life worth doing ever is.

Good luck on your journey!

TTV-DontEvnTrip · 2022-04-16T20:26:19+00:00

I got you bro : first use eye contact and smile to see who is receptive to your approach, when a girl looks at you back and smiles you have a chance to move forward. Now second be interested in them as a person want to know their passions/future dreams/ likes and dislikes. Ask for a date and set the times yourself as a man you have to be a leader so you make the plans/times. Third you have to escalate meaning you need to show your intentions early, so light touching, into holding, into a kiss is the normal route. Be positive to be around, avoid complaining at all costs it is very unattractive, stay positive, and you will be fine. Treat people like your friends be kind and keep a light jokingly energy as if you are with your friends clowning around, your energy is everything when dating make sure it’s high, positive, and friendly. But in another deeper dating technique do not be too nice, do not over compliment women early(calling her beautiful/sexy every chance you get), don’t call/text too much too soon so that you come off too available or needy, and since you are inexperienced try to talk to a few girls at the same time so you don’t become too attached to one person, if you start to move forward by all means be loyal and honest and trustworthy but right now you just need to get yourself out there and play the field.

BudgetInteraction811 · 2022-04-16T06:48:27+00:00

Try to get some inside jokes going, build rapport with people in your social groups, men and women. Just try to limit the flirtiness with everyone if you like one girl. Trying to make a woman jealous is a tactic that only works on the kind of girls you don’t want to date anyway. For mature people this is a turn-off. So be friendly with everyone, and practise talking to people the same way, both male and female.

Robofrogg1 · 2022-04-16T18:36:17+00:00

Dude you are I the best place, and age, to practice, practice, practice. Pick a well travelled spot on campus, and talk to and try to get the number of 20-50 girls a day. Search for and watch ‘how to beast’ videos and learn how this guy does it. And above all, accept that you’re going to say stupid things, and you’re going to get rejected a LOT. But that doesn’t matter. You’ll live. And after a while it will be so natural and comfortable to do it won’t even matter.

NO ONE is born knowing how to do this with confidence. It only comes from doing it over and over without caring about the results.

Have fun!! Damn, I wish I’d known this when I was your age.

HowToStud · 2022-04-16T05:53:35+00:00

Dm me champ, I’ll show you da way

humptyone · 2022-04-16T18:53:16+00:00

Just like the rest of us, you talk a little more each time. I've been told women like humor. The only difference between you, and anyone else at this point is confidence, and experience. It will come along. Remember, all she can do is say no. It doesnt hurt to hear it.

user009818 · 2022-04-16T21:46:26+00:00

Don't seek out a girlfriend, just interact with them and someone will take interest to you for who you are...

Arcchimedes · 2022-04-16T00:46:23+00:00

Colleges have therapists. Start there. Read seduction literature. No advice here will help you

Due_Ad_6202 · 2022-04-16T20:03:11+00:00

Ughm don't even try buddy. You will learn girls will not give you a chance because you haven't mastered the game yet. You won't be able to master the game till you played it, but you can't play it till you mastered it. Good luck 🤞

passengerpigeon20 · 2022-04-16T18:16:45+00:00

Leg lengthening surgery or move abroad to a country with a decent dating market.

Key_Comparison_2529 · 2022-04-16T15:16:01+00:00

Ok. Here’s the thing. Just put yourself out there, talk to people, go out and do the things you love etc. It’s often something very hard for people but highly rewarding. Eventually you’ll find someone that you start getting feelings for. At that point ask them out or show your attraction to them in some way. Don’t worry if it seems they like you or not. That’s why you ask! If they don’t like you, don’t fret because that means they aren’t the right person for you. Also, don’t worry about looks. Looks don’t matter because if you maintain basic hygiene and health you’ll be attractive to someone. Just work on yourself, and put yourself out there. If you are ready for a relationship then it’ll be easy to get in one. If you’re not, then work on yourself until you are. Don’t worry if that’s the case, it happens to all of us. Anyway that’s my advice, good luck.

Imacrazyrat · 2022-04-16T18:32:24+00:00

I don't know if i should mention that i'm short (5'4, it's not a big deal here anyways)

Wrong. Thats your main problem.

i'm consider as funny in my friend's group

A sense of humor is awesome. But are you their personal jester?

I've always been shy and quiet

This is your second problem. You need to stop worrying so much what people think and just be yourself and drop the filter. You'll be surprised how much you can talk.

I've made good friends, both men and women. I've always been shy and quiet but i started opening myself.

Are you going to parties?

about to start going to the gym again

If you are short, you need to make up for it by being in great shape.

Thing is, i have NO idea how to escalate.

Ask her out. Flirt and tease her in the date. Then give her a kiss at the end of the date.

H8beingmale · 2022-04-17T04:53:04+00:00

game requires much more of men

Godletrich · 2022-04-17T05:08:23+00:00

Same here, I am 20, also 5'4, also a virgin and also a college študent. I am not skinny, more an athletic type with 6 pack and muscles but still struggling to get a girl. Lack of flirting I guess, or I am taking myself too seriously

Zangief89 · 2022-05-03T00:52:36+00:00

Checkout a game on Amazon called Chickenshit. Go out with a buddy a and play that until you inevitably get laid. Then repeat this until you are no longer concerned with getting a girlfriend. Then you’ll be able to get a girlfriend whenever you want

Title	how the hell can i finally get a girlfriend?
Author	Imacrazyrat
Upvotes	27
Comments	63
Date	April 16, 2022 12:30 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u4ltkh/how_the_hell_can_i_finally_get_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-hell-can-i-finally-get-a-girlfriend.1261968 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261968

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