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nicohul · 2021-09-23T21:30:07+00:00

Yes, in my opinion every milestone or success makes you more confident in yourself, and that's the best thing you can have in order to get laid.

JakeMullerRE · 2021-09-23T23:29:40+00:00

From my experience yes. And it’s not just with sex. Any physicality with a girl will automatically make you way more confident and better with all other girls, be it a random girl you see on the street, female friends, co-workers, etc.

skinisblackmetallic · 2021-09-23T22:27:32+00:00

The first time I had sex did not have a huge impact. I would say the first relationship where I had sex with the same person more than a couple times did.

PoPoChao · 2021-09-23T22:03:56+00:00

Sex definitely elevates the relationship and shows you a side of a person a lot sooner that you otherwise won’t see

after-the-droogz · 2021-09-23T23:26:32+00:00

It will help rid you of the anxiety, fear, or whatever uncomfortable feelings you are experiencing. The big thing is, when you have a steady sexual relationship with someone it gives you much more room to learn. Learning your wants and your theirs. Just pay attention to what their body language is responding to.

2021-09-23T23:44:50+00:00

I didn’t realize it but according to my roommate at the time, yes. She said I was more confident in myself and less self conscious.

Stoner_skateboarder · 2021-09-23T22:49:26+00:00

It can at least help get rid of your anxiety related to wanting to lose your virginity and have sex for the first time. Getting rid of this anxiety will help you with women in the future when in sexual situations.

ERavenna · 2021-09-24T00:56:40+00:00

Short answer: yes.

Mid answer: do you have a driving license? Of you do, do you remember the first time you got in a highway? Probably you felt nervous, and didn't know how to go along with the traffic. How I'm supposed to go to the other lane without crashing with other car? How I'm supposed to go down that exit that it's two lanes to the right? How the fuck do people know which route they have to choose of those 3 forks.

After a few times driving in a highway, you probably felt way more comfortable on it. At least for me, it was. And it meant the day I felt like "Hey, now I really know how to drive".

Just do it. Get that backpack out of you. It will be okay. And you will probably feel more comfortable doing other things, like approaching to a women (or a men, if it's the case).

2old2beCool · 2021-09-24T00:00:26+00:00

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recyclablebanthas · 2021-09-24T01:28:33+00:00

Hi all A virgin here, i need to know if you have sex for the first time , does it makes you more comfortable with other women and having connection and expressing yourself as a sexual being?

I would say that when one is a virgin, it's more common to see sex as something more significant than it necessarily has to be.

Having sex for the first time can demystify it so you can enjoy it for what it is.

I wouldn't say that it necessarily leads to more comfort with women but it can increase your confidence a smidge, if you have the right mindset about it.

It can be the first step on a journey but doesn't automatically lead to a bunch of huge outcomes by itself.

Change2222 · 2021-09-24T02:00:02+00:00

If you’re thinking about hiring a hooker so you can find the courage and skill to pick up girls afterwards it’s probably not going to help.

mystylejay · 2021-09-23T22:12:09+00:00

You can bet it, bro.

AND DO NOT REST ON YOUR LAURELS!

You probably need 2/ 3 women to feel totally comfortable.

THEREALBUTTERMUFFIN · 2021-09-24T00:34:33+00:00

If you typically have high anxiety it probably won't make you more comfortable. It might bring on new anxiety that you didnt know you had. If you tend to be a more laid back person, no pun intended, it'll probably help. Either way, the thing to remember is every female is different and has different likes and dislikes. What may make you a stud with one woman, another may find it unpleasant. Once you realize that sex isn't that big of a deal and that they are probably just as nervous as you or more is when you grow. My first time was heavenly but everyone is different.

plaze6288 · 2021-09-23T23:55:37+00:00

Not for me at all. it actually was the opposite because so many made it out like it was this big moment and i was really just not that amazed by it.

pussy is great but its a ton of work and tbh for me id rather spend the money on my self

VDKay · 2021-09-24T06:28:36+00:00

Depends.

If you pay for it, nope.
If it is one-time and then the girls dumps/ghosts you, it can do more harm than good
If it is regular sex with one or more girls who keep coming back for more, yes, definitely, because it will make you more confident and detached from the outcome (i.e. it won't be a big deal expressing your sexual attraction to a girl if you have your GF back at home ready to blow your dick no matter)

Bottom line: sex itself won't make you comfortable/confident. Getting yourself out there and keep expressing your sexual attraction and getting rejected again and again will get you used to it and desensitize you.

eyesopen1111 · 2021-09-24T12:23:59+00:00

Absolutely it makes you more comfortable! Psychological studies show that, for straight guys, the number of sexual partners is positively correlated with self esteem, so you will like yourself more and that will make you more comfortable, too.

The power balance in your romantic relationship favors the guy after sex occurs, so that also makes you more comfortable with both your woman and other women. Everyone can tell you are getting laid because the awkwardness and desperation of unwanted virginity fade away.

Keytone_ · 2021-09-24T22:11:41+00:00

Personally bro I feel way way more comfortable with any girl that I sleep with even if it’s a one night stand, you go through a personal pleasurable experience how can you not feel more connected and comfortable after

JuliustheWise · 2021-09-24T02:11:34+00:00

Yes, same as with any activity Like if you are a kid and scared of roller coasters but you go on and have fun and then you want to go on again or on a stronger coaster

Also depends if the experience is positive I just know that I was a virgin in HS and until I started UNI and I lost my virginity within the first semester.

I’m an introvert, I have trauma, and trouble making and keeping friends.

ATM my life is messed up, and before when things were better I still was doing a lot of travel and didn’t have too many friends.

I started seeing escorts, I’ve had friend with benefits and a girlfriend previously though

There are many really hot and beautiful escort call girls, many are also really sweet and friendly, many are girls paying for school so also very intelligent. It’s drama free

I want to go back to school and my friend and I want to study for medicine so it’s useful to have that

I mention all this because after sleeping with so many gorgeous escort girls, I find myself a lot more laid back and I don’t feel desperate about sex and girls plus I have come to really appreciate a girls personality and intellect

So I would say yes based on my experience, when I lost my virginity that’s when I stared to become a lot more self confident and laid back

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-09-24T05:04:13+00:00

2021-09-24T05:19:20+00:00

It did not do that for me, but I also lost it to a very toxic and hurtful person, which kinda shoved me further in my shell then I was before. Make sure it’s someone you can trust or that you know what screw you over.

jok3r67 · 2021-09-24T06:11:46+00:00

Personally, yes. But at the same time, I can't have sex with a woman without me feeling comfortable with her and having a connection.

Solanthas · 2021-09-24T06:59:35+00:00

Yes definitely more relaxed and at ease. Maybe not confident exactly, just less nervous.

But honestly after you do it, nothing really changes. It's easy to make it a bigger deal in your mind than it is in real life.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to then, when it was so important and seemed so great.

DubstepHitech · 2021-09-24T10:51:54+00:00

Yes lol of course.

RealHumanBeing2020 · 2021-09-24T11:21:53+00:00

Yes, definitely. Also, sex with the right woman a few times can make up for a lifetime of missed sex (i.e. someone is a late bloomer and isn’t very sexually experienced).

KptHolera · 2021-09-24T12:20:05+00:00

No. Sex didn't change my behaviour outside of sex. I improved my confidence when I had learnt rules of social interaction.

My first sex didn't even change my behaviour in terms of sex. I needed to learn from podcasts, and that's what improved my game.

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-09-24T12:30:34+00:00

YES AND NO, OP.

Yes, it makes you more comfortable with THAT woman, that LEVEL of woman, and gives you more confidence in your ability to "lay that pipe" on her.

No, it does not make you INSTANTLY THE ALPHA PIMP OF THE UNIVERSE to every woman or higher smv levels of woman.

You will(if you laid the pipe right) have more access to that woman and others as she will spread word of mouth, plus other women WILL sense your confidence...they may not ALL hookup with you, but MOST will find your confidence Attractive (on some level).

My 2 raggedy pennies.

whiskey-palm-trees · 2021-09-24T13:35:44+00:00

The first time you get behind the wheel of a car, everything you've ever fantasized about driving comes to a head. The next time is still exciting but you feel more comfortable.

Same shit.

2021-09-24T14:29:08+00:00

Sex isn’t as big of a thing as people like to think it is. It’s was awesome my first time but didn’t really change me at all as a person. Woke up the same man the next day

WhiteIpadworks · 2021-09-24T14:46:11+00:00

Make*

Expensive_Law_1193 · 2021-09-24T15:38:30+00:00

I'd say it doesnt have to have any impact at all. It all depends on how you choose to think(at the moment you dont seem to think to highly of yourself) and how you choose to behave.

RobbyRock75 · 2021-09-24T16:31:39+00:00

Not really… if you want to practice anything regarding comfort, practice making that person comfortable enough to be able to relax and enjoy the experience with you

2021-09-24T18:03:11+00:00

I "lost my virginity" at age 24 to a prostitute in Barcelona. Not my proudest moment. I spent the next 5 years wishing it had been with someone else but glad that I got "a piece of action" to know what it felt like.

Now recently I've hooked up with a high school friend and we've grown close. We slept together last weekend and while there was definitely passion and enjoyment, it could've been better. But only because I wasn't able to orgasm when inside her and it was the first time I've had sex with someone I cared about - and in a typical romantic setting.

What really helped me know what I was doing was a mixture of experimentation & communication ("do you like that?") and studying things about the female orgasm (i.e, foreplay is critical; knowing that penetration alone doesn't stimulate an orgasm is important and being flexible with what she wants/enjoys).

The best advice I can give you is to be willing to learn, experiment a little, communicate vulnerability but be confident in your ability to grow and evolve. That's where the loving and the pleasuring starts.

soliz_love · 2021-09-24T19:29:04+00:00

Having sex for the first time makes it stop being this legendary thing that you are missing out on and gives you a reality check that it really is a glorified hand job

Neil1398 · 2021-09-24T00:58:47+00:00

Yeah but it’s an up and down thing. If you have sex with a girl then for another year you don’t have sex, you kinda lose that feeling.

That’s why you should always be looking for backups.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-09-23T21:20:00+00:00

Yeah and it pays your bills as well

spicy_simba · 2021-09-23T22:17:58+00:00

It really depends on the experience of a first time, and the perception of the experience. Because of pressure and expectations, the experience might be underwhelming for some, and then that can play in a person's head and not help with becoming more comfortable

Do_it_for_the_upvote · 2021-09-24T00:53:21+00:00

Absolutely. Everyone‘s a nervous wreck the first time, but you’ll quickly find out that it all comes very naturally with continued experience; after all, it’s literally instinctual to a point.

Men and women may have slightly different body composition, but we have all the same muscles, nervous systems, etc. Everyone likes to be touched, desired, appreciated. Chances are, barring S&M play (that takes some communication), if you’d enjoy it, your partner would as well.

GrandRub · 2021-09-24T00:56:16+00:00

yes. early first sex makes me very comfortable - its the only true "i like you" a woman can give.

WomanWhoBets · 2021-09-24T01:12:03+00:00

You mean before you do it with men? Or first time having sex in general or what? Sorry, trying to understand the question first.

MSotallyTober · 2021-09-24T02:14:27+00:00

Yeah. Although if you talked to the woman whom I lost my virginity to, she’d tell you I looked pissed off because I was concentrating so much. 😅

3SidedDie · 2021-09-24T03:00:00+00:00

I was as insecure as you are towards sex untill I had my ex. then, I became a lot more comfortable, but when we went sepparated ways, I noticed I wasnt comfy with everyone, I was just comfy talking when I was with her.

2021-09-24T04:22:13+00:00

For sure. It will help you realize that, most of the time, sex is not that much of a big deal. The first time isn't a big deal either. The first time with someone you really connect with is a great experience, but that doesn't mean you should wait for the best time to lose it already.

You can understand this intelectually, but you really need experience to internalize it. And fucking more makes you understand it even better and brings confidence.

And about that last part... Expressing yourself as a sexual being is fucking. It maybe can be some other things too, but mostly fucking.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	210
Comments	54
Date	September 23, 2021 9:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pu4wd8/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275639

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