When girl says ‘there’s not enough chemistry’ - what’s the true meaning? Mainly I didn’t give enough sexual tension?

PompousSchmuck · 2021-08-03T10:48:11+00:00

Or maybe she is not sexually attracted to you? I told a date I met through OLD i didn't feel the chemistry, what I meant is I didn't have a boner while talking to her.

FrivolousMood · 2021-08-03T11:05:58+00:00

It means she does not want sex with you. Game over, move on.

dleeinva · 2021-08-03T11:09:23+00:00

Don’t try to force a fit where one doesn’t exist. If a woman doesn’t find you appealing or attractive then she just doesn’t. You can’t change what she likes. It’s not something you did wrong. It’s not something to try and “fix”. There isn’t anything bad or wrong about it, or you, or her. It’s just not a fit. No matter how attracted you are to her she’s not feeling it. Let it go and move on. There are other women. If she’s into it you’ll know. If not then save yourself the anxiety of analyzing what you did and say “hi” to someone else.

It sucks. You won’t like it. You want her! I get it. Been there… recently. And I’m older and been through it hundreds of times. It doesn’t change the fact that you can not do anything to change how she feels. So work on how you are going to interact with another woman and she may be the fit. And if not, oh well. Keep trying until you find one. Save yourself the headache… seriously.

Course_giver · 2021-08-03T12:33:28+00:00

you acted too much as a friend and tried to please her

what-diddy-what-what · 2021-08-03T13:40:51+00:00

Chemistry can be an easy way to let you down because she wasn't attracted. It could also be that in the stomach spark, that feeling you get when you really like someone which is often about physical appearance combined with the person's attitude and approach.

I once dated a girl - She was hot, and she worshipped me. She did everything for me, and would do anything for me. I broke up with her because there was no chemistry. What I really meant was the spark was missing. Even though I was physically attracted to her, I didn't feel challenged. I felt like she wasn't my equal. I didn't get butterflies in my stomach when I looked at her. Months later after breaking up, I met an even more attractive girl who didn't kiss my ass, who actually was less successful than the other girl, but whom I respected and we have amazing chemistry. She's now my wife.

gammaJinx · 2021-08-03T12:58:17+00:00

It’s not the deep. She just don’t like you. It’s onto the next my guy. You gotta have that abundance mentality

DakiAge · 2021-08-03T20:23:00+00:00

You don't get it.

"You are a nice guy" means you accept and/or agree with everything that she asks/says to you which implies self-confidence issues.

You are a person just like her and you are no less "valuable" than her.

You shouldn't try to impress her in dates and just be yourself.

For example, lf she says "I like swimming" and you hate it, you shouldn't say "I like it too" for the sake of agreeing with her or some other stupid shit.

Anhilator26 · 2021-08-03T11:31:51+00:00

For the most part yeah. Could also be personality/ humour doesn’t match

tractorinballs · 2021-08-03T15:27:07+00:00

It goes both ways, there are gonna be women that you don’t feel chemistry with. It’s just different for guys because we confuse attraction with chemistry and we are the ones that are expected to approach.

2021-08-03T21:12:26+00:00

“Chemistry” is a weird one. It’s like the whole “spark” thing.

The spark is basically mutual infatuation ; aka Limerance period. Very dangerous lol.

For the “spark”, it seems to be something like this:

As soon as you see them, you’re attracted and very quickly after noticing them, they notice you and you can see that the feelings mutual.

Straight away there is sexual tension. It’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.

There is this ping pong back and forth between this tension and it builds up so fast that both people are just totally enamoured with each other. It’s rare but it happens. Doesnt mean it’s meant to be nor does it mean it’s a good sign of longevity potential. This is why the spark situation is dangerous; very easy to get high and miss the details and deal breakers.

With chemistry it’s kinda the same but the tension is not so immediate and not that intense. Chemistry is a mutual sense of being comfortable, relaxed and at ease in your company. They feel like they can readily trust you and have the perception that these feels are mutual - just like the “spark” situation.

I don’t think either of these things are aspects one can control because you’re dealing with the other persons emotions. They are autonomous. It’s merely a numbers game and finding the right match.

This presumes she’s telling the truth about not being any chemistry rather than this being the sugar coated way of saying “I’m not attracted/ I’m just not into you”

If this is the case, scratch it off to a lesson learned; review every single moment that transpired and ask yourself if that was ideal or could be improved upon. You might find areas where you need polishing or even areas where you messed up.

EggoGF · 2021-08-03T23:12:35+00:00

If you had a true abundance mentality, you wouldn’t be chasing after something that isn’t there. Take the L, move on, and try to create that spark with the next one. This is a lost cause.

zoharafrank · 2021-08-03T14:52:10+00:00

Yes. No sexual chemistry.

zoharafrank · 2021-08-03T14:54:03+00:00

No real gravitas between you too either physically, emotionally, intellectually. That’s the key: no momentum, no gravitas... She means there’s no SPARK.

kaiser789 · 2021-08-03T16:29:24+00:00

After having sex with this one girl. She said she didn’t feel any chemistry between us. But neither did I. Is there a way to build chemistry between us?

2021-08-03T16:44:11+00:00

It means she is not into you period. U don't need chemistry to fuck someone u need attraction.

Electric_kundalini · 2021-08-03T17:51:16+00:00

Bitches love chemistry yet they never want to talk about different chemical reactions.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-08-03T21:31:58+00:00

Watch 20 YouTube videos about sexual escalation - take notes - implement - otherwise you'll keep failing and getting "no connection" comments from girls.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-08-04T20:05:51+00:00

The 2 months no contact killed it. Nothing worse than a woman calling you nice, there was no sexual escalation.

Title	When girl says ‘there’s not enough chemistry’ - what’s the true meaning? Mainly I didn’t give enough sexual tension?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	62
Date	August 3, 2021 10:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ox0t9o/when_girl_says_theres_not_enough_chemistry_whats/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-girl-says-theres-not-enough-chemistry-whats.1279043 https://theredarchive.com/post/1279043

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