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[–]redderist 8 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Girls like this don't want your poems
Did you read your own post? If the way you speak IRL is at all similar to the way you write, you were probably spitting poetry at her all night.
[–]Atuli 40 points41 points42 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Totally. Did this dude even fuck her? Whole fr is full of self felatio.
[–]haterherren 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol! "Self felatio" hahahahahaha
[–]BrickTop94 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The whole post is full of cringe movie one liners. Guaranteed this shit all happened in his imagination.
[–]betterben 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you missed that this was a compliment ^
Fortunately it was much more than imagined my friend. It's what happens when you just go for it ;)
[–]Wheysteve 193 points194 points195 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Her eyes go wide, and she realizes everything at once. The square root of pi, the location of tupac, everything. It all makes sense.
Golden
[–]KaelthasLoL 17 points18 points19 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really enjoyed that line as well. Good shit Ben
[–]PabloNj 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was beautiful lol
[–]freddy8 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I skipped ahead trying to find the location. I'm pretty bummed out.
[–]Enchylada 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah, totally lost my shit lol. But well said.
[–]HighClassApplebees 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This shit was amazing
[–]trueword02 299 points300 points301 points 8 years ago (58 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure I'll get down-voted into oblivion here in this sub, but does anyone actually believe this actually happened?
This reads like some loser who has never been on a real date and made up a story to impress strangers on the internet. C'mon, he didn't tell her that he "doesn't give a shit." There's no way he talked to her like that. Not to mention, that's no way to talk to a woman, and even less of a chance it actually worked. You can be distant, and not fall all over yourself to impress a girl, but being rude and disrespectful isn't the way to go.
This was a great story, I'll give you that. But that's all it was, a story.
[–]Iraydren 85 points86 points87 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Came here to post this haha. /r/thathappened
The first glaring thing which didn't add up: if it's a simple lunch plan, where she "had something of his", why would they agree on a 5 star restaurant? Seems extravagant for such an innocuous occasion.
[–]trueword02 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah dude, exactly. Agreed, absolutely.
[–]betterben-2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I didn't say where we were going, just to get lunch. Picked her up from the subway and drove there. It's a very nice place but it's a client of mine so I'm there often.
Remember that it's easier to poke holes in something than just trying it yourself.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 68 points69 points70 points 8 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Yeh dude,don't wanna be that guy but you don't say that kind of shit to a woman.You can act all tough and cool but hard to believe he said he doesn't give a shit.Like that mostly leaves woman with a bad taste.At least if they have some brain man.
[–]trueword02 25 points26 points27 points 8 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, exactly. Like a feel bad for calling him a loser for sure. You can act like that but no way he said it or that it worked. This is definitely just a made-up story.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 14 points15 points16 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Or that he made her pay for his drink.It's a great story don't get me wrong but shit son if this would be true he would be close to a douchebag.Depends what you want.A quick fuck or a true relationship.
[–]trueword02 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
For sure. And this definitely wouldn't work on the type of girl that would want a relationship with.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And some things in this story are far to exaggerated.It sounds just like you said,he kinda complexated and wants to impress some random dudes to feel better about himself.
[–]JLSAAAA 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
word
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
I added a thing about the drink. I usually just split bills with girls because it's very beta to pay for everything, and also a sign of respect that she can make her own money.
However I was looking at some guy puking outside while she paid and she got the whole bill thinking that's what I was saying when I insisted she'd 'pay'. I don't ask girls to buy me anything unless some guy just bought them a drink or something and you can poke fun at it.
[–]trueword02 30 points31 points32 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The whole idea of "beta/alpha" males is weird to me. I find it weird that anyone would refer to themselves that way. I don't find it "beta" to pay for a woman's drink or food. If we click and I want to pay, I'll pay. I'm certainly not going to pay for everything on all first dates, cuz that gets expensive, but occasionally I will. But it's not automatically "beta" to pay for a woman's meal.
I dunno man, I just think it's really odd to go around using beta/alpha as common terms. I feel like it's something that is only used by guys that are really quiet, unassuming, and/or insecure. Just be yourself, and you'll get a girl. Or try to figure out why whatever you are doing isn't working and change it. But don't call yourself a "beta."
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I'm just using the terms in the context of this forum, I don't use language like that much IRL.
The point being mainly that when you tease her to pay, it's something she rarely encounters being doted on all the time.
Also another point on that is that the meal we had on day 1 was on the house thanks to the chef, so I had just recently 'bought' her a nice expensive meal.
I do appreciate your dose of reality into the conversation though, everything you're saying is definitely true.
[–]trueword02 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I get all that. But it just seems strange to use it at all, like it's something I would do if I were making fun of someone, i.e. by calling a guy an alpha male if he is acting overly macho or aggressive.
Why tease her about paying? Why even make it a thing, just pay or don't. I feel like that's where the issue comes in, and how it seems alpha/beta, just don't even make it a thing and either pay or let her pay for herself. Or, if she offers, she can even pay. No big deal.
Edit: some letters.
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
The waitress will generally ask if you're splitting the bill. That was the initiator. Otherwise I wouldn't care.
[–]trueword02 11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I mean, now I feel like I jerk for spending so much time on this, but it's been my experience that waitresses don't ask unless they are presented with two cards, and by then it's already been discussed. Like, they don't normally just walk up and ask if we want to split it - they drop the check off and leave, and if there are two cards when they come back, they will ask.
[–]betterben1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Nah. The waitress was actually her friend, the bar is where she works so it was more of a casual question I guess.
[–]trueword022 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Fair enough, that makes total sense.
[–]betterben12 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Read my reply to trueword02. You are both right about that view, that if I said I don't give a shit about her she would immediately be hurt and turned off. However, in the context of the conversation it mean that I don't give a shit about rejection, or commitments from her, or any of that heavy stuff she usually deals with. This is a girl who guys immediately idealize as a 'girlfriend' type and will right away make their relationship bigger than it has any right to be.
[–]Steven054 16 points17 points18 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I was sure at the end it was going to say it was a shit post, it read like an erotic story.
[–]trueword02 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha, for sure.
[–]My3centsItsWorthMore 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea he just sounds like a dickhead to me. He abused her at every opportunity he got, and I'm a bit disappointed that he was rewarded for it. It sounds like he has made his own value in independance attractiveness and success and would have got the girl either way, but decided to go further and be a dick, and praised that as the reason for success.
[–]cockycomedy 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Guys who get in a loop of "reading books but not having the balls to approach" often break down and start living in a fantasy world. Their own reality.
They start writing fiction like this, and due to Dunning-Kruger syndrome they don't realize that not even experienced pick up artists but even a guy who said "fuck it " and approached 10 girls, would know it's bullshit and real sexual communication is not literal, but non verbal and can not be explained like this.
Nice story. But girls write better "sexual fiction". Look at "50 shades of gray", books like that have real material. Not "man fiction" from AFCs who are mentally "not there".
[–]BrickTop94 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I first started to smell BS when she apparently started "going crazy" seeing him talk to other girls. It takes quite a bit of rapport and emotional connection to get to this point. After 1 date it wouldn't work
[–]BrickTop94 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm one of you.
😂😂😂 Jesus
[–]hopeNsorrow 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't know why it's so hard to believe. I've said similar things to girls before. When you are in the zone and you feel invincible, you just say whatever you feel at the moment. And sometimes it just happens to be "I really just don't care."
Most girls aren't looking for logical peer reviewed journal articles when a guy talks. You can get away with anything as long as you say it with confidence.
[–]betterben 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Delivery over content. Half the time she's too busy thinking to even go over what you've said. And this is between us making out, so it's the last thing on her mind.
[–]trueword02 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, to an extent. Most thoughtful women aren't ok with being treated like shit. I'm not saying he necessarily treated her like shit in this case, but there is a difference between being disinterested and being outright rude. I mean, BEING disinterested is one thing, but outright telling a woman that you don't care is something entirely different, I believe.
[–]rathyAro 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I once said something to a female friend to the effect of "do guys think that shit ever works?" I think we were talking about catcalling or something similarly stupid. Her response was, "you give us[women] way too much credit". My point is this shit works on someone, not necessarily everyone. It could be made up but if the girl in the OP is young and inexperienced she might fall for these borderline insults. Also based on OP's account he seems to have genuine confidence which really colors all of your actions in your favor. That's not a gender thing. If you do shit with absolute confidence people just assume you're doing it right. I recently came across a master (the kind of guy who probably never heard of pua, needs 0 manipulation, but gets girls like its breathing) and that was the difference between him and every other guy. Confidence. I can go more into that experience if anyone cares.
[–]betterben0 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yep ^^ 90% of communication is how you say things, not what you say.
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (22 children) | Copy Link
It's all in the way you deliver it. With a smile, and a sarcastic look. It's not rude and disrespectful, it's more of a relief for her to hear. When guys spend so much time fawning over her, there is always a lot of emotional pressure on her not to hurt their feelings or reject them as 'friends' because she know's they are just lusting after her.
But if you have 0 pressure or expectations, it's a breathe of fresh air. Which is why she felt even more comfortable after that.
edit: also just another thought, it was more one of those moments when you're both so horny and have been going at it for a while you can just say random rambling bullshit and it doesn't really matter what you say, more the way you deliver it, you know what I mean? Like sex-talk, I don't know a better way to describe it.
And yes the story sounds cool but it's also just how I write, I get very passionate about fun experiences like this.
[–]trueword02 35 points36 points37 points 8 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
I agree that it has a lot to do with how you say it, for sure.
I hate to say this, but your story doesn't sound "cool" at all - it is simply very well written. In fact, most of what you said/how you acted actually just sounded pretty cringey. It didn't come across as cool, if anything I was embarrassed for you as I was reading it.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Well that's just my opinion.If this is true then I'm happy for you dude.Glad it worked out.Been in this transition myself.If you always nice and there for them they get bored quick.But this is only for the one night adventures.Don't think you wanna act like that with a woman you really care for and want a relationship with.
[–]trueword02 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Agree 100%
[–]StrangeDoctorr 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And one last thing I want to say is that usually women get over the "just wanna have fun" or "want a bad guy" period and then they start looking for something stable.For someone who is going to be there for them,someone with whom they can talk to and so on.Something serious. They have all seen the cool type of guys.And they pretty much know what to expect from them.This guys are just for fun then put aside for a real guy.
[–]trueword02 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Virtually all girls do get over that stage. And if they don't, then you likely don't want a relationship with them, because they aren't capable of maintaining a stable relationship.
Running game is something you do when you are young, or when you are just trying to get a girl to sleep with you. But this doesn't even sound like "game" to me.
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Yep.
So now, I'm actually taking her to that movie we missed sometime this week and I can drop the macho shit from the inital encounter and just enjoy the night with her.
All this story is about how to distinguish yourself from other would-be 'suitors' (lol) and break down that initial barrier to entry that usually surrounds 'good girl' types.
[–]trueword02 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just be yourself man.
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
Well, it worked, and there were no cringey moments aside from the one that sparked her crying, that caught me off guard at first.
Game will always sound lame, because you have to do these very irregular behaviors to connect with the more basic side of a woman. So before you talk down upon a method, instead just try it out yourself, find if it is successful, and then report back to seddit in your own field report 😉
[–]trueword02 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I mean, like StrangeDoctorr said, if it worked, then great. I just have a hard time believing it actually went down this way.
I dunno, maybe I'm weird here, and maybe out of place for this sub, but I don't really try to run "game." I just try to talk to women like normal people, and have a regular conversation about whatever. Same as you would with someone who you AREN'T interested in. That seems to work fine for me, and I don't feel like I am running any sort of game on her, or trying to trick/convince her to sleep with me. If it works, and we click, then great. If it doesn't, then I move on. Pretty simple, and I'm not trying to run any sort of game on her.
[–]betterben 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I'm there with you, and that's all the bits I left out, I mean we were there for hours just talking, these are just the turning-point kind of moments that I'm highlighting, and they're all bookended with lots of just regular chat and fun teasing like any old date. The situation was just unique and called for a few pre-meditated ideas to smooth everything out.
Anyway I hope one day an idea from this post will come in handy for you guys! That's the whole point of Seddit, share what works so we can all have more interesting lives 😊
[–]StrangeDoctorr 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well you see,that's something else.You only wrote the cool parts that seem at some point kinda untrue.I'm not sure what to believe but I hope you are happy and that is going to work great for you.We may have different opinions but that's what makes it great.It would become boring real quick if we would all agree.
[–]betterben7 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Haha yeah, good point. You guys brought out real discussion instead of just saying "nice one bro" so I'm glad you commented.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Yeh,we kinda out of place on this sub man.It looks like most of this guys want to impress girls with something they are not.Just saying from experience,this kind of shit is going to get boring and you will start to search for something else.And when you act as a bad 'boy' most of them want a bad 'boy'.Not only a guy that's pretending to be.It may work and you will may have her but it will make you feel empty dude. Better to be natural.Be relaxed.Be the way you are not something you wish to be.
[–]trueword02 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. I don't try to be an "alpha" male - I'm just myself. I feel like guys that work on being "alpha" males have a stereotype of what a man is that they are trying to be, and girls can see right through that shit.
[–]StrangeDoctorr 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
At least girls that think a litlle.In my experience I realized that with the ones that are beautiful but also really smart if you try this kind of shit you are going to lose your chance in an instant.Doesn't matter if you only act like that.
This behaviour will get you past the 'friend-shield'. Once you're in then you can just behave as you would. My focus on inner game is also to stress that you don't need to pretend to be somebody because you've already put in the work to be someone you love.
I added an edit to my post to acknowledge your points as they are definitely important for the actual relationship side, after seduction is complete.
But this is a post in r/seduction, hence the focus of the post.
[–]trueword02 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I totally get the forum, so maybe I'm way out of line, but why do you need "game" to seduce a woman? Why can't you just be yourself?
I don't feel like any extra behavior is necessary to get you out of the friend zone - just be yourself.
[–]betterben2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Well, to answer your question, the entire purpose of the seduction community is for guys who have a hard time with women, who fail at being themselves and need a little help to become good in those situations.
I don't normally post here about my experiences with women, but this was such a specific situation I felt it could help a lot of the guys here.
You seem to be comfortable being yourself, and in comparison to a lot of the guys on reddit you're pretty lucky to feel that way! So go out and enjoy the ladies my friend.
OK man, that makes perfect sense. I recognize now that I'm posting things in here that I probably shouldn't, so I apologize. Especially given that today was my first visit to the forum, I should have checked it out before posting.
At the end he says, "I'm one of you." That's why it feels made up (like, "look guys I made it. I'm one of you guys, r-r-right...?"), and if you are trying to be something other than what you are (in this case, a seductor [?] or an alpha male), than the woman can see right through that act.
[–]mittor 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
He is saying I'm one of you, to say I came from where you are. Not look where I am. The "I'm one of you guys " is aimed at those not at that point yet.
[–]trueword021 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ok, fair point. That makes sense.
[–]GiveMeDog 8 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
C'mon, he didn't tell her that he "doesn't give a shit"
Context. She was talking about guys being "tryhard" when seducing her. He replied with "I just don't give a shit" as in -- I'm different because my life is great with or without you, so I'm not going to act desperate for your attention.
I've had similar conversations with girls where they'll ask me why I don't try as hard as other guys. My response is the same -- I just don't care enough. I'm not sure if it's a good answer since saying it might diminish the effect of doing it. Maybe it's best for the girl to reach that conclusion on her own. Not sure.
[–]trueword02 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I hear what you are saying, but see I think the context tells another story. It just seems like he was doing too much, like he is trying too hard to not "give a shit."
I just feel like that overall attitude might work, but stating it directly is a whole other story. It's just the way the entire story is written, as though much of it is embellished. I do think having an attitude of not being THAT invested in her response can work, and it seems that it does often work, as having guys trip all over themselves to help you or be of assistance can certainly be unattractive to a girl - especially if guys are constantly behaving this way. I'm sure it is definitely attractive to be with a guy that is confident enough to be ok whether or not the girl is interested in him. To me, it is clear the way the story is written, that it was all an act, and that he was actually tremendously invested in her response, as opposed to truly not caring one way or another. Furthermore, the context of the story, and his words, gave the impression that his attitude of not giving a shit was an act and rather insincere, which I feel like women can typically see right through.
[–]GiveMeDog 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
You were harping on about him saying that one line, so I wanted to set the record straight regarding context -- that it wasn't a rude or disrespectful comment, and it wasn't too far-fetched of a thing to say given the situation.
But yeah, his overall story was pretty cringe and it's because he wrote it as if he's already achieved a strong inner game. But it's clear he's still in that awkward "fake it till you make it" stage. I hope he realizes that his success was more because of his social proof at the restaurant plus his ghosting afterwards, rather than his inner game. I think she'll see right through him in 1-2 dates when the honeymoon period starts to fade and his inner game gets tested more.
[–]trueword02 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Again, I hear what you are saying, but I still disagree - I don't think the context provided support for his statement.
I dunno tho, I definitely am out of place here in this sub, because I don't get this whole idea about "inner game." I don't feel like it's necessary to "run game" on women. My approach has always been to just approach a woman and have a conversation and see if we hit it off. Does this always work? Absolutely not, and I strike out plenty of times, but it seems to have been a good way for me to establish/develop connections with women throughout the years.
Inner game is a synonym for self confidence. It's just a play on the word game but all it means is being totally comfortable in your skin and in control of the way you act and feel.
[–]betterben 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you! This guy gets it. Girls want there to be as little pressure as possible, so they are free to have fun and not feel responsibility for enjoying themselves with you. All the heavy emotional stuff can come later.
[–]Conviction07 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Ironic how you call her boyfriend a pretentious dick, then go on telling a story where you're a pretentious dick.
[–]tcatlicious 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was thinking the same thing myself. What a total douche. I couldn't finish reading this it was so bad.
[–]betterben3 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ah sorry you read it that way. I think I was pretty honest with her about my intentions and how I felt, and vice versa with her. Pretentious probably came with my language in the post, but I'm mainly talking down to my past self who I can see all the flaws in.
[–]Dgremlin 22 points23 points24 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Whenever I see these..well thought out super long pickup stories. Its hard to believe. so I dont. No dude is that in the moment they remember every. single. detail. Especially if the pickup flows and your having fun.
[–]bianceziwo 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Um I do... but mostly when you succeed you only remember the cool parts
Yep
There was also a guy in the bar vomitting everywhere, got all on my shoes, but wasn't really relevant to the story and not as cool.
My entire process is built upon being present. Vivid memoris are a side effect of that. Plus some guys are just natural storytellers, it's just how it is, whether it be a forum post or entertaining friends.
[–]ZincMan 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I enjoyed your post and I believe you, im actually surprised how many people are calling your story BS as it seems pretty tame and straight forward honestly.(still awesome don't get me wrong) I'm certainly not as "transformed" but I've had a few pick ups in my life with a beautiful girl or two and I remember many details(especially what worked) even though it was many years ago. It was great to hear your story as I have a date with a girl sort of by chance who seems out of my league, reading your post made me remember a lot of important things I think I forgot about seductions. Thanks I remember I picked up this beautiful girl years ago and I reached the conclusion that I need to give her what no other guy had given her, and that was "to not pay attention to her" but it worked (until the time was right of course)
Amen dude. Good luck!
[–]leespin -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hey can you give some tips on being more present? Cause I think thats what unlocks everything else
[–]pingerella 32 points33 points34 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
From a girls perspective if you have to try THAT hard setting up some elaborate plan to get a girl, she's not the one for you and vice versa. If I found out someone that did all that I would feel they're not being genuine.
[–]misterwhippy 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You'd probably be surprised how often guys plan out stuff like this
[–]My3centsItsWorthMore 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i think planning things out is fine, but if your not replying to be mean, your conversations are just a play, then it removes the personal connection. Use game to enhance you, not replace you.
I didn't really plan much actually. The lunch thing was totally non-romantic at first, I just eat there all the time, and we were already going to the event beforehand. Basically all this was improvised.
It just sounds so structured because I'm breaking it down after it's happened but I basically just spent and afternoon and a night with her hanging out.
[–]pennedit 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fake
[–]NewTransformer 24 points25 points26 points 8 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Woah
Teach me Master haha THat was great! Can you further elaborate on "the bubble" routine. Also, can you tell us about the changes that have occurred to you emotionally and physically since the last time Rachel has seen you?
Bubble routine was something I started doing after seeing youtube videos of ross jeffries. I thought his methods were pretty creepy as he's like fully hypnotizing girls and it's not really a fair playing field if you know what I'm saying. It's a totally one-sided type of trance.
The Bubble is basically creating a world in which only you two exist, and it affects both you and her. You start talking about how intense the present moment is, how many people in the room have no idea what we're saying or feeling or that we even exist. You point out all the sounds, the smells, the sensations in the room that usually go ignored so that she and you are both intensely wrapped up in the present moment, and all that exists is you two. You say that they probably don't exist, that the world is just an illusion except for you and her.
The entire time, you do not break eye contact, not even for a second, not even to blink. You just go deeper into eachothers eyes and the world falls away.
You can do this pretty much anywhere because it starts by focusing intensely on your surroundings, and then restricting that intense focus on nothing but you two.
If you do it well enough and submit yourself to it just as much as her, it's like you're both on drugs or something, its such a powerful connection.
And that is The Bubble. It's like a shortcut to that moment when you are finally alone together and it allows you to begin the deeper connection process so much easier and smoother, and you will REALLY enjoy it while it happens.
[–]kzc5813 27 points28 points29 points 8 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Some criticisms if I may. I get being in the moment, but pointing out the sounds and smells? Smiling while she's crying seems a little psychopathic. Also, the "I don't give a shit" part sounds like something I'd try on a girl when I was in middle school. Not texting back when you're busy makes sense, but purposely not responding just for the power struggle seems petty. It seems like you've grouped game into "poem-writing pushovers" vs "jerks that get laid".
Valid points.
All sensations are part of it. You can't be truly present until you're in touch with all of your sensory perceptions in the moment.
There isn't much you can do when someone cries except for being a warm energy with them.
Again, you misread the context. There are several explanations from me and others on why "I don't give a shit" is one of the most important things I said to her and how comfortable it made her.
And no, I'm not saying game is this 2 sided thing. What I'm saying is that when every guy tries the same nice guy approach to her basically all the time, just being a man and asserting yourself will get you very far and distinguish yourself in her eyes.
[–]petertree 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm a firm believer of show it don't say it. the fact that you had to say it leaves a bad taste
Humans use words. It's how we communicate complex ideas. If you can show me a great hand signal for "Don't worry rachel, I won't emotionally pressure you for months over a single kiss so you can feel free to have fun" after she directly asks you why she's so comfortable kissing you, just send me to the wikipedia article thanks.
[–]petertree 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just send me to the Wikipedia page thanks
Are you always this touchy
No, I just don't respect you asserting an opinion toget a leg up, instead of adding to the discussion, which is the nature of this post. It isn't for people like you, as you likely have natural game already nailed down. It's for guys who don't know what to say and do to evoke the responses they want from a woman.
People who comment "this is fake" or "this won't work" just discourage the guys who actually need the advice from trying new things and stepping out of their comfort zones.
[–]petertree 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah I actually believe the story. You're imagining the one upping, I just said it left a bad taste.
You said 'follow her actions not her words'. It works both ways doesn't it. She's probably been surrounded by guys that keep saying shit to attempt to "win her over" after reading some wikihow article, and over time has learned to disregard words over actions.
She's into you and you have solid game so you have a wide margin of error that's even wider because it's early days. But be weary of verbalising things that are more convincing over consistent demonstration. If her interest ever drops in the future, verbalising your game will have the opposite reaction.
[–]trueword02 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Dude, are you serious? "Teach me master?" This is not advice you want to follow. Acting disinterested is one thing, but I would certainly not advise telling a woman that you "don't give a shit."
[–]IndianGainzDance 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
2000% Disagree. There's a time and a place for everything. If you paid attention you would have noticed the part where the girl complained about the multiple rebound guys that approached her. At this point it becomes quite clear what she wants - an interaction with a guy where there is no pressure and no expectations on the table, which is pretty obvious from the nature of the situation in regards to her recent breakup.
Pragmatism is the name of the game when it comes to seduction. Would I advocate telling every woman I meet that I don't give a shit about them? No, but I'm certainly not going to let flimsy moral objections prevent me giving her what she wants and showing her the time of her life.
[–]trueword02 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Lol if I paid attention? I definitely read the entire post and didn't miss anything. Of course context matters, but what I'm saying is that no one should take this as blanket advice. In general, a guy should not tell a woman that he doesn't give a shit about her.
Since that sub is about giving advice, I'm simply saying that this should not be taken as the be-all-end-all for seducing women. Obviously, time and place matter, but I generally wouldn't give/take advice like this. Does this mean that you should never say this to a woman? Not necessarily, if that's what she wants (if she is a trashy girl who doesn't care about respect), but I did not get the vibe from this story that she wanted to hear him say he didn't give a shit about her. I absolutely picked up on the fact that she wanted an interaction without pressure/expectations, but I did not pick up any signs where she desired to be told that he did not give a shit about her. She definitely wanted him not to fall all over himself to please her, but that is the extent of her wishes, from what I picked up on.
Now, if this actually happened, then of course I am wrong. But this story seems to be extremely embellished and almost entirely fiction. He is not someone I would consider a "master" by any means, as I don't believe this happened.
[–]IndianGainzDance 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm inclined to agree with you on pretty much everything you've said, I just don't level with you on the idea of putting a "not blanket advice" disclaimer on the situation. You seem to be a pretty knowledgeable Sedditor so I think we can agree that one of the first lessons you learn on this sub is to approach it like a cafeteria and not so much like a full service restaurant.
Cheers!
[–]trueword02 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Eh, to be honest today was my first time ever in this sub, and I kind of stumbled upon it and then read this post.
I am incredibly unfamiliar with this forum, and have never heard the term "Sedditor," so I am learning a lot today. I feel like I'm a little out of place here in this sub, since I use a different approach to women in general. I've never quite thought about "seducing" a woman.
This sub is super interesting and I have read a lot of interesting stories on here.
[–]betterben 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are what most guys in the pickup/seduction community call a 'natural'. You just get it, no need to use any special skills or techniques with girls at all, which is totally great.
Then there are lots of guys that need lots of help with it, which is why we post here. I had a hard time with girls all through highschool and college, too nervous to talk to them for more than a few sentences. Building myself up has changed that, so now I give back what I've learned to the community.
In regard to the emotional and physical changes, I'll just paste my comment from below.
Inner game for me has been focusing on where in my life I've had losses of integrity and working on patching those up. Holding myself responsible to do the work I need to, going to the gym regularly even when I don't want to, never snoozing or sleeping in aside from Saturdays (cheat days are necessary haha) and having a strong set of goals and routines. I would suggest /r/discipline and /r/Stoicism as two great places to start, and if you need help building up a foundation for your life, /r/theXeffect is a great method for doing so. But yeah the main thing for confidence is setting goals and actually achieving them when you said you would. Chain some personal victories together and you feel like a powerful man, because you are!
[–]sdnivra94 11 points12 points13 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds made up to be honest
[–]King_Pyrrhus 8 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Lovely post.
Great joy to read.
Wish you all the best, mate. 👍
[–]betterben -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cheers brother
[–]mcbootysauce1 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How is this not too post already? Great story. I’m still in the transition phase from being that friend zoned dude to the guy who doesn’t give a shit and this was really helpful. Could you elaborate on the Bubble method
I posted about it up top ^
[–]DeeAhTee 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
But Rachel McAdams was one of the Mean Girls...
Wedding crashers my man. Wedding crashers.
[–]PUAnerrd 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A bit of a tip for people when talking to literally anyone: it's not what you say, it's how you say it. So yes, Betterben could certainly have literally quoted the cheesy ass shit in this sub to Rachel. But, what she was really in to was in which context he said those words and how he presented them. You don't see all the nuances of communication simply through a post on reddit. His body language and tonality are more important than words themselves. I've done door-to-door sales for about 6 months, and cold calling through phone. Trust me on that shit, it works. It's relevant to seductiom because it's a form of communication.
Rachel is hot as fuck, but the universe is as interested about making her life amazing as much as it is about making your life amazing: not at all. Betterben provided excitment.
I'm working on being better at seduction, that's why I am here. So I choose to believe this shit is real.
[–]JustAnotherWanker69 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very nice post it doesn't matter if it's fake it not, good inspiration and good advice
[–]cockycomedy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I recite poems to girls I've met at the bus stop. ~Aren't~ Don't you?!
"Do you know Edgar Allan Poe? Great poet. I could recite you something romantic.."
"Go ahead.. "
From childhood’s hour I have not been As others were—I have not seen A dork at the bus stop, who would buy A guy reading him a poem, and not ask why He was busting her balls, by pretending To be one of THOSE GUYS, she's used to dating
hahaaha that would work, touche
[–]Endoss 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
All you have to do to sleep with this type of girl is have a 5 star French waiter at your beck and call.
Hahaha, yeah that helped but the conversation is always more than the venue 😉
[–]sirfafer 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey betterben,
Thanks for the awesome post.
As a league player myself (yasuo ftw) who also has a female I absolutely crave (but she still dating a guy) I know that inner game needs work.
What did you do to/what habit did you adopt to cultivate that inner game?
Search through the comments, I posted links to a few subreddits that are focused on building discipline and such.
[–]Aarxnw 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
her eyes go wide, and she realises everything at once. The square root of pi, the location of Tupac. Everything, it all makes sense
I lost my shit, literal X's and D's
[–]Painterofcrazyshiet 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Good FR man,short and straight to the point I like it. Yeah I kind of realized after awhile that improving all other aspects of your life is a much better game than just going out and trying to seduce girls all the time (mind you do need to talk to them and actually have a good idea of how seduction works). So I kinda shut off all game related things off my life for now, the infos still there but I decided to take the time to actually build my life ( working retail is not exactly the most exciting thing ever) since thats pretty lacking in all regards right now.
s still there but I decided to take the time to actually build my life ( working retail is not exactly the most exciting thing ever) since that
As for the post it is pretty helpful, I really love the "girl next door" Rachel Mcadams type of girl and will take your advice when I meet one. Just out of curiosity OP how long did it take for you to get in shape ?, I'm a very hard gainer and have been having trouble building muscle even with a job that is physically demanding, im still skinny as a motherfucker and want to improve that.
eat more.
[–]Babayaga20000 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pretty insane how much shit men have to do to get with a girl.
I mean its fun and all but it sure is a lot of work at the end of the day...
[–]thenicky0 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My fucking dude right here! GET IT!
[–]BrickTop94 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
she just goes "I know you don't give a shit" and climbs over the armrest into my lap
Lmao what the fuck. r/thathappened is the sub you're looking for prince charming
[–]Franklins_ghost -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great, useful story. Not just a regular great post, but a great story. Thanks.
[–]Turlast -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, this was legit.
[–]haazen -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
As a side note: your writing style is pretty good, it was a lot of fun to read.
You went old school type of game hahaha. Nicely done. I'm curious as to what your process of getting a solid inner game was if you could elaborate on that (other than approaches that is).
Inner game for me has been focusing on where in my life I've had losses of integrity and working on patching those up. Holding myself responsible to do the work I need to, going to the gym regularly even when I don't want to, never snoozing or sleeping in aside from Saturdays (cheat days are necessary haha) and having a strong set of goals and routines.
I would suggest /r/discipline and /r/Stoicism as two great places to start, and if you need help building up a foundation for your life, /r/theXeffect is a great method for doing so.
But yeah the main thing for confidence is setting goals and actually achieving them when you said you would. Chain some personal victories together and you feel like a powerful man, because you are!
[–]haazen -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awesome, thanks for the advice.
[–]trueword02 -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, his writing style is great, and it was an awesome/very interesting read.
[–]blackmamba329 -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Great read
[–]betterben-1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it
[–]Jericcho -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Please explain the bubble.
Also was the cats and string just that you have a strong inner game? Am I understanding that correctly? Or is more specific about the restaurant owner and ignoring her?
Cat and string is the idea that a girl wants what she can't have. Like when you play with a cat by dangling a string, they will go crazy for it while its flying around in front of them but as soon as they catch it they just get bored and walk away because the chase is over.
[–]nervousboy2000 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Whats the bubble??
I explained it at the top ^
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