Do language barriers prevent good relationships?

Bo0mh3adsh0t · 2020-01-03T11:49:57+00:00

Trick is to not see it as a barrier but a learning opportunity that requires more effort from the 2 of you. Long term you would both just learn each others language and then you would share more things in common and being bilingual never hurt anyone.

If the idea of learning her language is off-putting then you have placed the barrier there yourself because you are now reliant on her understanding enough english for you to have any meaningful conversations. Plenty of apps out there than can have you speaking a new language well in just a few months with enough effort.

SkankingDevil · 2020-01-03T11:59:25+00:00

Yeah, it's a big barrier. Not only language, but cultural differences as well.

It's a lot like that movie The Little Mermaid. Even if they spoke the same language... One of them is human, and the other is a damn mermaid!!! The relationship you have with this person may be physical, and fun, and emotional, but ultimately it will also be superficial, or at least not as potentially deep as it could be with the full range of communicative tools available.

That being said, dating this girl would be an awesome way to learn about another culture, and I'm sure she is appreciative to have someone to practice her English with. Have fun!!

2020-01-03T12:26:32+00:00

It does not prevent good relationships in my opinion. I once knew a great girl from Ukraine who spoke Russian and a bit of English and French. I spoke English and French myself but only a little bit of Russian. We still managed to have great conversations by mixing those 3 languages together. We talked about some deep subjects such as philosophy, art, architecture and music and even laughed about funny stories that we told each other. Even though there was a huge language barrier, it didn't prevent us from having a good relationship as long as we both made efforts.

2020-01-03T14:07:08+00:00

Nope, as long as both parties are willing to put in the effort to learn one language or the other, or both. My mother learned English for my father and they've been married for 40 years.

2020-01-03T15:38:01+00:00

Just meet and use little speech and use Google translate while texting - works like a charm

brandon2631 · 2020-01-03T12:41:44+00:00

Let me tell you this from experience. I am a 24 year old white Male and I have been leaning spanish for about 2 years. Well I met this beautiful cuban girl and she speaks 0 english. Literally 0 english. My spanish Is still broken but everything seems to work out pretty well. It does require extra effort but we seem to make things work pretty well. It is truly a wonderful experience to date someone who speaks another language. Especially a romantic one like spanish being I am a native english speaker

IDK1101xfg · 2020-01-03T12:44:15+00:00

I think it's not a big barrier, but it depends on for once "how big" your language barrier is. Is it like she/he or you doesn't speak the language as well as the other one do, like in your and my case. Or does no one understand the other one.

And for second it depends on how well can you generally communicate. What I mean is the language is just one and the most used "form" of communication. Do you can communicate in other ways, as in example with body language.

(I hope you can understand me, I don't speak English very well)

auntruckus · 2020-01-03T13:07:11+00:00

If you're wanting a relationship that lasts a few months and is fun, it's probably fine. As someone who's dated several guys from varying ethnicities, I've got to say the approach to relationships is totally different around the world. Once you start getting into deeper things you want or need to talk about, it becomes difficult for adequate communication to take place. You are right to be concerned about this - even people who speak another language very well often have trouble understanding deeper issues.

yuppiehelicopter · 2020-01-03T13:50:26+00:00

Yes it can be tough depending on how large the barrier is. It can lead to some pretty funny situations which is great but also some unnecessary misunderstandings. Try to laugh a lot and find the humor in the discrepancies.

creamyturtle · 2020-01-03T16:11:36+00:00

I have been dating a colombian girl for over a year who speaks ZERO english. my spanish was okay before we met and now it's pretty darn good but I still feel retarded and can't say things how I really want to. it works but it's different than other relationships I'e had. like other people mentioned, the cultural divide is more important than language itself. she is tough to deal with at home and unbending in her cultural views, but she expects me to bend for her family and culture. It can be fun but it's super challenging at the same time

Cwellz123 · 2020-01-03T16:21:14+00:00

I’ve went on a couple of dates with a girl who didn’t speak very good English. Honestly I couldn’t deal with it because it was frustrating to explain everything to her. But everyone’s different. You might be able to deal with it.

i_never_get_mad · 2020-01-03T16:22:55+00:00

Body language is a language. We often forget that when we learn a spoken language. If language barrier prevents a good relationship, could deaf people not have a good relationship?

It’s tougher, because you aren’t used to other forms of communications, but it’s certainly doable.

After all, what prevents you guys from learning each other’s language?

brandon2631 · 2020-01-03T16:28:25+00:00

It is really rewarding to learn another language. Especially spanish because most of the women are so beautiful

g-pt · 2020-01-03T16:29:20+00:00

Yes.. as the language carries concepts and values proper of each people

Spiral83 · 2020-01-03T16:31:55+00:00

Isn't communication mostly 90% body language anyway?

royer44 · 2020-01-03T16:39:11+00:00

I live in a foreign country where I don't know the native language and most of the girls I met had a limited english as well, however they always improve their english to the point where it's not a barrier anymore. I also want to add that such relations usually develop its own language in a way and you say stuff that only you and your gf would understand in the right way.

2020-01-03T17:06:19+00:00

Use Google Translate

red__what · 2020-01-03T17:36:04+00:00

Quick answer from someone who has interacted with diverse cultures extensively - YES.

Raymak3 · 2020-01-03T18:14:38+00:00

Not at all, biggest example. Micheal Fackin buble He meet his wife, she didn't speak any english, he didn't speak spanish/Portuguese (not sure what the native tongue of Argentina is). Now they married with 3 kids, spoken language only accounts for around 10-30% of communication anyway. South American game revolves around lots of eye contact and not alot of chat.

Micheal Buble talkin bout his wifey: https://youtu.be/NtHFscZ9IEE

skinisblackmetallic · 2020-01-03T18:45:35+00:00

It makes things more difficult, I would say but not impossible. I recently dated a Brazilian lady. She was sweet and hugely fun in the sack but conversation was tough. I broke it off primarily because of the language issue but I realized that there could've been a situation with more chemistry or attraction where I would take it upon myself to overcome the language issue.

N0t_a_lime · 2020-01-03T19:14:20+00:00

They definitely make it harder.

TerrorBollea · 2020-01-03T19:33:44+00:00

That's an interesting question. I watch 90 day fiance and similar shows. From my perspective I can't imagine being with someone who wasn't fluent in a language in which I'm fluent. Communication is key to a great relationship. If you go in with communication as an issue, what do you have besides mutual physical attraction? On a more granular level, understanding of things like humor, idioms, and other seemingly minor, yet statistically sound indicators of connection are seemingly lost. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't do it. Of course, I'm not exactly a great looking guy so brains and wit are far more important to a potential match, and vise versa.

2020-01-03T19:43:23+00:00

I've been all over the world and met a lot of women I couldn't understand more than half of them. Out of 32 countries at least half of them but that's what made it interesting, we used our body language LOL and lots of alcohol

Vanilladietcoke19 · 2020-01-03T19:51:55+00:00

I was in a relationship like this and wouldn’t recommend it.. I was never able to have deep meaningful conversations and it just got tiresome. After I broke things off it was kind of a relief to date others who spoke English fluently. I do believe you can succeed in a relationship like this, you have to have a lot of patience and you both should be actively learning the other’s language. If she is not trying to improve her English and you are not practicing her language, this will be a doomed relationship.

2020-01-03T19:54:58+00:00

She might like you even more because she sees you as a opportunity to practice her English, and you show her that you have patience to help her 🤷🏻‍♂️

VaporWario · 2020-01-03T20:10:13+00:00

I was in a serious relationship with a native Spanish speaker. Her English was great and I almost never had trouble understanding what she was trying to say and vice versa. If we didn’t understand a word we’d just explain it. The issues came when she had to move back home and we needed try temporary long distance. We had frequent misunderstandings and bad communication via text. She could literally understand the words I typed but the subtext and intentions would frequently get lost.

This is normal in general for text communication but in retrospect I think that differences in sentence formation and structure between English and Spanish led to a lot of issues. I’m studying Spanish slowly (started because I was dating her and we intended for the relationship to last and I wanted to be able to eventually communicate with her in her native language as well as her family). But when I started to learn about grammar and structure I began noticing subtle differences that made me understand why she was interpreting certain things in ways I didn’t intend.

Again, everything was perfectly great in person when we could read our emotions face to face and include nonverbal communication. But all communication fell apart within 3 months of us being long distance. Of course LDR is extremely difficult in the first place, and we likely wouldn’t have lasted regardless, but the language barrier 100% accelerated the downfall in my opinion. It was subtle and I couldn’t see it happening in the moment, it was only in retrospect upon reflection and because I’ve continued to study Spanish after the breakup.

sk1ndeep · 2020-01-03T20:30:43+00:00

My girlfriend isn't a native English speaker, and it's the best relationship I've ever had. Because of the language barrier, communication is incredibly important. No spoken word is ever taken in the wrong way, because everything is explained and made sure it understood by both of us.

It's also fun to explain slang terms when they slip out, as people are so used to saying certain things in their native language.

brandon2631 · 2020-01-03T20:34:14+00:00

😀😀

2020-01-03T20:35:33+00:00

My first date with my girlfriend was done completely over Google Translate. We still use it and have a wonderful relationship but I am learning a little russian and her english.

A lot can be communicated non- verbally, especially sex, and if the sex is really good, much talking isn't necessary. I'd say it even has a positive - a lot of bullshit is avoided cuz you two dont speak the same language. Conversation is about necessity and pleasure, not idle chatter.

Also, it builds the relationship on a more primal ground, and this seems to be more productive to both of your happiness.

A lot of people disguise their ignorance and stupidity with conversation, as if most of those conversations go anywhere even close to insightful.

I'm not advocating a stone age relationship but there is something to be said for keeping a relationship simple and having a language barrier seems to help that and hinder none of your "connection" to her.

brandon2631 · 2020-01-03T20:37:35+00:00

I'll have to listen to it

smpat05 · 2020-01-03T20:41:36+00:00

My GF is German (English fourth language). Our language and cultural differences are there, but it gives us to opportunity to think before speaking and distill ideas down to their roots which has actually improved my ability to communicate complex ideas to OTHER people. Plus, given that we are constantly talking, her English has improved substantially and I’m starting to learn German.

Overall: if you are up for a bit of a challenge there are many additional benefits.

jalopeno66 · 2020-01-03T20:52:22+00:00

Like any relationship, it's a crapshoot. 31 years ago, I married a Cambodian refugee, a woman with limited English, and little education. Her family had perished, and she had been bullied and abused by her fellow students. Somehow, she was not bitter and continued to impress me with her character and inner strength. Decades later, she continues to delight me every single day. We are wildly different, but extremely happy together.

MrMemper · 2020-01-04T01:16:34+00:00

Download Pons translator as well as Duo Lingo and have fun

grrinchas · 2020-01-03T11:47:50+00:00

Not really.

I hooked up with one latin girl. I don't speak Spanish and she doesn't understand english.

So what to do in these situations?

Simple. Talk like she understands you and you ask her do the same. You have no idea what both of you are talking, but it is fun.

If you really need to understand each other, then use google translate.

p.s. Funny enough, in a bed we understood each other perfectly. I knew and she knew exactly what we wanted to say.

2020-01-03T12:14:40+00:00

No, I've seen people hookup who didn't speak each other's language.

LikeHarambeMemes · 2020-01-03T14:11:28+00:00

Does she have to speak good english in order to give good head?

great_account · 2020-01-03T16:22:20+00:00

I've hooked up with girls who didn't speak a lick of English. Gotta do stuff that doesn't involve talking. Dancing is a good bet.

Title	Do language barriers prevent good relationships?
Author	CollapseSoMainstream
Upvotes	149
Comments	59
Date	January 3, 2020 11:39 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ejeavb/do_language_barriers_prevent_good_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-language-barriers-prevent-good-relationships.1487612 https://theredarchive.com/post/1487612

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