Does anyone else feel good when actively flirting with women, but when you don't have anyone to talk to for a couple of days, feel anxious/stuck in a rut?

DukeCanada · 2015-06-23T03:10:35+00:00

Yeah, all the time. Then you start again you feel the need to "warm up", as if you've forgotten how to hold a conversation or something. Ultimately I just trust that people are going to like me and go for it anyways.

Beli_Mawrr · 2015-06-23T02:30:10+00:00

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just_a_waste_of_time · 2015-06-23T03:13:05+00:00

Yes. I feel similarly and wonder if Im hooked on that validation feeling.

Do you feel like you're in a rut when you're talking to others but it's not going well?

Thatonebolt · 2015-06-23T06:34:02+00:00

There is a wonderful TEDx about loneliness and the importance of talking to others. I'de link it but youtube is unavailable to me at the moment. It's the called the Lethality of Loneliness by John Cacioppo.

I am personally an introverted person and love my space and value quality way over quantity, but when I feel lonely I reach out to as many people as I can and just talk in person or via Skype, Facebook, text, anything. I find a lot of social value in this because I maintain my relationships with not so close friends, and stay comfortable enough with small talk that I can escalate to something more serious if I want to.

PUA_101 · 2015-06-23T04:06:13+00:00

It happens to me to and I feel like that anxiety is the brain's way of telling you to take action! I'm more and more realizing the importance of going out virtually everyday, even if to do just one or two approaches, especially when you're new. That's if you want to get good really fast. You can still get good just going out on the weekends but since you will have to go through that "warmup" phase your progress will be slower IMO.

demonshalo · 2015-06-23T04:40:12+00:00

FUCK YES! All the freaking time. I think it is an extrovert/introvert thingy. I hate that feeling and want to kill it with fire!

aceshighsays · 2015-06-23T08:44:58+00:00

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cmiovino · 2015-06-23T12:29:38+00:00

Same here. If I'm out meeting women or have solid numbers I'm planning dates with, all is good. Literally if I have 1-2 girls I'm just 'talking' to, all is well. I almost don't even feel the need to approach much.

Then if they flake, I'll go to having no leads. Then I get uncomfortable and/or stuck in a rut. So then I run out approaching hardcore again. Then results in a few more numbers, potentially 1-2 actual leads.

... thus the process starts all over again.

dblake123 · 2015-06-23T16:00:14+00:00

socializing is a normal thing for humans. Humans actually need it or they start to develop problems. When you don't have anyone to talk to go to the local store or mall and walk around and talk to people.

heyyou11 · 2015-06-23T19:16:25+00:00

All the fucking time. I notice it a lot less when those in between times are filled with something else, though. It's hard to miss girls pawing at you too much when you're devoting attention to another passion.

BigBobbert · 2015-06-23T04:45:16+00:00

I've been feeling this, too. Some days I just don't have much to do in terms of shopping/going out, and the feeling sucks. At the least, I've been making an effort to have one day a week where I can go out and talk to a LOT of women.

smitty192 · 2015-06-23T07:56:00+00:00

Very much. Being an extrovert who's friend circle has greatly diminished (moreso I just don't get to see them) over the past year, as well as suffering from anxiety/depression, having someone there especially a female helps to fill the void.

Chibman61 · 2015-06-23T15:24:14+00:00

Yes. although I have not spoken to or approached a female in a long time (months, perhaps). It's not like I have never approached a girll; got her number, or took her on an instant date, I have. However for some strange reason (probably the same reason you are experiencing) I have been reluctant to approach any girls.

I know the only/best way to get rid of this drought, if you like, is to start approaching strangers and start conversing. It's as easy as that.

I think I will start setting myself targets (manageable) approach 5 girls a week.

At the end of the day it is a numbers game....

Good luck!

sweetjingle · 2015-06-23T17:35:07+00:00

Everyone feels good when flirting with a girl. I think your testosterone even rises.

lonerdarian · 2015-06-23T19:17:17+00:00

develop a database of numbers so that you don't feel anxious not talking to anyone for a few days. plus it'll keep you calm when your are interacting with a female that you are interested in simple because you know you have other options in your subconscious while talking to her

SPOCK_IS_THAT_YOU · 2015-06-23T19:30:50+00:00

Yup. Especially if I meet the girl while I was drinking. I try to line up a fun activity todo to try and get over that bump. It helps a lot but sometimes the convo will get a little slow while on the date. If shes into you, it will be an easy speed bump to get over.

Byizo · 2015-06-23T20:34:43+00:00

I freaking love talking to people. I didn't used to. I always thought of myself as an introvert. Now I make conversations with nearly everyone I see.

Just let out your inner monologue. If you like a shirt someone is wearing say so. If you see something interesting tell someone about it. This will make talking to women easy.

derpyderpderpp · 2015-06-23T22:10:55+00:00

Yes, it's a state. If I've been doing a lot of mental logical tasks, it takes awhile to get into a party mode.

reformingfeature · 2015-06-23T22:20:22+00:00

Isolation causes depression I guess?

NotReallyASnake · 2015-06-23T16:15:15+00:00

Flirt with your female friends. And if you don't have female friends go makes some. Women can be quite wonderful people.

overk4ll · 2015-06-23T09:30:23+00:00

Diversify your identity.

Squez360 · 2015-06-23T10:27:07+00:00

Yea. I usually feel miserable. Too the point that I need drugs to get the same feeling again.

stillcole · 2015-06-23T12:39:31+00:00

Yeah that is pretty common for me, and i'm pretty sure a lot of other too.

I have a fairly technical job that requires me to pour over numbers and analyze financials all day. And after doing that for a day - or up to five days, its like my social skills go into remission and it takes awhile to active them again. So, going out to hang with friends on friday after a long work week can take some time to shift gears.

its almost like you just have to warm up for a bit until you switch to high social gears again. I can't explain it, but I think this is pretty common with people

lamp817 · 2015-06-23T21:10:28+00:00

Yes. I haven't been very social for a while now and I just had to go to my first part of college orientation. I felt very shy and didn't do well socially.

masterrod · 2015-06-23T22:04:05+00:00

nope women don't define how i feel about myself.

BlackLightzHD · 2015-06-23T03:38:01+00:00

Yes. It's called "I'm almost 18 and in high school" but seriously, instead of a few days, its weeks for me

Title	Does anyone else feel good when actively flirting with women, but when you don't have anyone to talk to for a couple of days, feel anxious/stuck in a rut?
Author	bachatatata
Upvotes	269
Comments	63
Date	June 23, 2015 2:25 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3as8i2/does_anyone_else_feel_good_when_actively_flirting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-feel-good-when-actively-flirting.1389958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1389958

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