Flirting and creating sexual tension

Jironasaurus · 2024-07-17T20:29:44+00:00

Flirting and creating sexual tension is as much a non-verbal communication as a verbal one. In fact, I dare say if you focus on the non-verbal aspect, it's more than enough.

Some commenters in here talk about being fun and playful. That is definitely one part of it, but you cannot be too fun and playful when you want things to get serious/intense/hot. She wants to be seduced. She wants to feel like the interaction is sexy. She wants YOU to be sexy too. And when you are being fun and playful, that breaks the tension and the sexy. Which means you need to recognise there's a time and place for it. And that's usually at the beginning/middle of the interaction.

How do you create sexual tension non verbally then? For a start, you want to maintain eye contact. You don't want to keep looking away whenever you're talking to her. You will find that as a natural instinct, when you are thinking of what you want to say, your eyes will tend to look up. Control that instinct. Keep your gaze on her eyes. Look into it. That forces her to zone in on you, and the rest of the world will fade away.

At the same time (you wanna practise this in the mirror), learn to develop bedroom eyes and use that when you're looking at her. If you're deep in conversation, and you're looking at her with bedroom eyes... she'll feel it.

Next, you wanna play with your voice. In normal conversation, as you're talking, your voice tends to take on different tones naturally. It's part of the way you express yourself. But as your conversation starts to become more serious and intimate, and steering towards sex, you want to lower your voice to a deeper tone and slow down your words. Look at how TV characters like Don Draper and Chuck Bass do it. It can get very seductive very quickly.

Then, you want to use your body as well. Think about how you can feel the tension when someone closes the physical space between you and them. You can use this to your advantage when you're with a woman. Just stepping into the space in between the both of you and staying there creates that tension. If you're able to use this when your conversation is starting to become more intimate, you will feel it. And believe me, she will feel it too.

And let's not forget about the most important one of all. Touch. Stroking a woman's arms, playing with her hair slowly, placing your hand on the small of her back and tracing your fingers along that little spot... they all help make her feel that intimacy. Do that together with a lower voice, while being close to her and talking about mundane topics... as you look into her eyes... you can easily create that moment that makes her want to kiss you.

Lastly, to answer your question, the best time to make the conversation sexual is after you hit a high note in your interaction. Feel the vibe. You'll know it by instinct.

So there you have it. That's my very quick guide to creating sexual tension. Hope it helps!

HamsterSpaghetti1994 · 2024-07-17T14:00:18+00:00

Following. I’m a hero in making rapport but keeping it way too friendly when dating, recipe for ending up in friend zone.

GymBroTRT · 2024-07-17T15:27:24+00:00

So here are the secrets to flirting.

What is flirting? It’s a slightly exaggerated, humorous and playful communication with sexual or romantic undertones.

Playful is the real secret sauce here, because you don’t want to be overly serious, sexual or creepy.

Flirting isn’t just giving a compliment “you look beautiful today”. So boring! It isn’t overtly sexual like “damn, you can make a grown man cry with that ass”. It isn’t creepy like “why bother wearing that short skirt at all, girl, I bet you look better out of it”.

Think of phrases like this: “Wow, you are dressed to kill - leave some men for the rest of the girls”, wink, wink. Or when a girl enters the room you can say “you kind of lit up the entire room the second you walked in”. Or let’s say running into a cute girl in the grocery store “hi, I don’t want to come across as that guy who is hitting on women in the grocery store…but I’m totally THAT guy”.

And of course, my all time favorite if a girl makes eye contact or checks me out: I walk up to her and say: “hey, I noticed you noticing me. I just wanted to tell you that I admire a woman who has such good taste in men.” That last one, you can play around in many different ways. Basically, every time she does something that can be perceived as trying to please you or be nice to you, compliment her on her efforts of trying to win you over or hit on you or flirt with you.

Another example may be, you walk into a party and the hostess offers you a drink, so you say “you really know how to treat a man right! Keep it up and you might get lucky later”.

The final secret to flirting well is to never ever have any expectations when flirting or commenting. Many men use flirting in a IF->THEN function. In other words, “IF I compliment her or throw a flirty line at her, THEN she should become instantly interested in talking to me.” Do it just because it’s fun and because it makes other people feel good about themselves. Think of complimenting your mom or your sister. There is not expectation of anything from them, hopefully, but you do it because it’s fun and because you know it will make them feel good about themselves. If you expect the woman to give you something back, then your flirting will fall flat and even be perceived as creepy.

g9icy · 2024-07-17T14:31:03+00:00

I'm not saying this from experience, but from observation.

I have a bald, rather unnatractive friend, who has been in rather intense relationships with several attractive women I'm friends with.

I've watched him closely to try and understand what it is that these women like about him.

And I think it boils down to this: He makes fun of them, teases them, and makes them laugh.

That seems to be it. I once pointed out that he was flirting and he was visibly confused... unaware what he was doing would be seen as flirting.

He openly mocks women, makes fun of them, antagonises them (in a playful way) and they absolutely love it. Well, there's a few that absolutely do NOT respond to that though and openly dislike him as a result and he's not very good at reading who responds well to it, which has lead to a few apologies and such.

I'm not very quick on my feet, so my approach is going to have to be a bit different, but it's been fascinating watching him.

Edit: I felt this was worth adding... At no point is he trying to seduce or attract these women, but they are drawn to him instead, and once there's enough obvious interest he'll make a move. He doesn't do "game" in any way.

Editedit: There's also nothing wrong with being bald, I just mentioned it to paint a picture.

FeelLikeVoldo · 2024-07-19T16:38:01+00:00

Be comfortable with awkward silences and sexual innuendos

zebekias · 2024-07-17T17:01:13+00:00

Search seduction material for "sexual tension". Years ago I studied David DeAngelo's DyD and sexual communication materials, which are very good. See if you can still find them. Introducing sexual talk early is an art, you definitely want to do it early on, but you don't want to do it in a crude way. You want to keep it light. I'll give you examples:

You are picking her up and as you get out of the car to open the door for her, she comes over and she looks stunning. That's a perfect time to plant your first seed: "you look stunning, so beautiful, I love your outfit". Don't harp on it again, you said it, move on to other things. You just showed her that you are not afraid to express yourself to her (a lot of guys are! especially valid when the girl is truly stunning!)
You are sitting across from the dinner table, quietly looking at her. The vibe has been fun and light so far. You can say in a soft voice "those eyes, the face, you are looking at me like that, do you have any idea of the bad things I'd do to you on this table if all these people were not here". She will likely flirt, or act surprised and say whatever, you can just say "hmm, yeah, very bad". You don't have to be grammatically perfect or make sense. Then move on to something else, don't harp on it. "Anyway... you are so good at this, you are distracting me"... and change the topic.

When I first started I was so bad at it, afraid to express sexual desire or totally uncalibrated and going waaaay over the top and was outright crude/rude. One time I told a girl I had just met a couple hours earlier, to her face, "I totally want to f* your brains out". She was not amused, she said something to the effect "that's not a thing to say to a girl you just met!", I ended up taking her to my house that night, but I realized it was a mistake. Don't do that. Although I've seen naturals do crude things and get away with it, but it's not my cup of tea.

Eventually you will learn to properly calibrate the early on sexual tension, light and fun.

In the bedroom all that goes out the window, you can be a caveman that fulfills her fantasies, yours too :)

Prestigious_Water336 · 2024-07-17T18:47:25+00:00

I like to give them shit and say things like "oh really?" Or "Really, you think that? ".

Make good eye contact.

Laugh and smile.

Get closer to her and start touching her a little.

Get to know her a little bit. Ask her what she likes to do for fun. And after she gets done telling you about something, say "tell me more about that." People love to talk about themselves.

When there's a pause in the conversation and she's looking at you or she looks down at your lips, go for the kiss.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-07-17T14:53:38+00:00

You must be someone they think they will have a good time with. This means that after you clear "you aren't repulsive" hurdle you should make the interaction fun and light hearted, not something that will pass the HR lady "it is ok" test.

nighthunterrrr · 2024-07-17T17:46:00+00:00

cocky funny + push-pull? the ideal combination?

epimpstyle · 2024-07-18T21:20:28+00:00

don’t know how to flirt and shy asf to make the conversation sexual

There is a golden rule that says, "The more you talk about sex, the less likely it is to happen.

There is no need to talk about sex, you just have to move towards it, women are not retarded to explicitly tell them what you want from them because they know when you want something more. Forget about eye contact, voice projection, body language and all that BS...make your life easier. You are not James Bond to hypnotize women just by looking at them or projecting your voice in a certain way...just be playful and physically escalate (not exaggerating, of course, just a joke/game/escalate in about 3-5 minutes is more than enough)

You are playful the next minute you meet the girl and try to escalate physically the next minute as well because that is how you gradually start touching her hand until you grab her waist or make out.

If it is evening and you are talking to her and you simply invite her to have a beer/wine/champagne/smoothie at your place, she knows exactly what will happen. See? You don't have to tell her explicitly, just give her a simple invitation: see the city from my balcony, I've got a great pizza in the fridge, I've got ice cream... just give her a reason to visit your place and is enough. She knows what happens, women are not retarded, no worries.

In most cases, when you barely know a woman, just be happy to get her phone number, not escalating, flirting and stuff like that. You escalate on the date and I said don't talk about sex but move towards it. It is that simple.

McPigg · 2024-07-20T22:13:28+00:00

Dont make the convo itself sexual if thats not you. Verbals are kind of unimportant.

Better to make the vibe super sexual but keep convo neutral/not show interest verbally.

You do that by going into a relaxed but sexual mood (at least half boner, if you dont get that your not horny / not relaxed enough) and letting it come through your eyes and voice. Convo kept fun/neutral, this will create tension and intrigue.

Hothead361 · 2024-07-17T20:14:38+00:00

I honestly don't wanna risk being just friends so I make my intentions clear from the start , no bs straightforward girls love it and they are my kind of girls anyway

Title	Flirting and creating sexual tension
Author	Throwaway1244588
Upvotes	42
Comments	31
Date	July 17, 2024 1:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1e5hyje/flirting_and_creating_sexual_tension/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/flirting-and-creating-sexual-tension.1524514 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524514

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