FUCKING COWARD

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-11-27T14:07:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

stagneck · 2021-11-27T06:17:03+00:00

eat healthy meals for brain function. depression can affect diet and speech stems from body influence also plenty of water . remind yourself health is wealth and that smile has got to glow before conversation initiation. Love is a gamble so its up to you pit your all lil by lil. If shes a talker listen if shes shy show appreciation of her presence lil things like offerings and kindness. Hello everyday to see your footing and bring up the occasional trends or admirable qualities that standout. Brush your teeth often and remember ,Posture, gestures , tone.

Noob_elk · 2021-11-27T07:43:02+00:00

Grow a thick skin. The reason you are not able to talk is because you are looking for validation from women and afraid fo rejection. You need to grow a thick skin so that you don't take rejection personally. Learn to validate yourself and don't depend on other people for validation. Approach them to have a good time not to bed them.

Mc_Dickles · 2021-11-27T15:48:04+00:00

You gotta love yourself first bruh. No woman wants to be around a man that needs them to function.

mondayortampa · 2021-11-27T07:11:23+00:00

Wow, You are fucking hot. Bro 🥵 lol But seriously I feel the “comparing” this thing. But women aren’t driven as m much by looks (as men are) confidence is key just walking up to a woman seeming confident and you look good and clean enough should spark something at some point. You just gotta get over that point. Fake it till you make it . If you think you are the shit (respectively) she will need to know what’s so good about you . Don’t worry about those other guys. You are your own worst critique

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-11-27T09:10:47+00:00

Well, based on your picture you are an attractive man with a good sense of style.

So your issue isn't with your looks, but you want to know how to talk to women. Well that's an easy problem to solve. Learn how to talk to women.

There's a lot of free resources for this on YouTube. After putting "How to Talk to Women" into the search bar, this was the first video of many that popped up.

Talking to women is easy af once you know how. Go and learn, and put it into practice.

devolve79 · 2021-11-27T10:47:31+00:00

go to a therapist. you need to love yourself more brother. and that means loving yourself as you are now. dont think that you can go to the gym for 1 year look good then love yourself. it starts now. be confident in your own skin

sunkized · 2021-11-27T06:29:33+00:00

Wish I had some advice, but I have the same problem. Can't approach. My mild success was from being drunk and girls coming up to me. Idk how to get out of my head when I'm sober

NorthernRiverWolf · 2021-11-27T06:24:22+00:00

I hear ya, bro. I'm plagued by both nervousness and inadequate places to meet women. You see, I live out in the sticks, where cows rank second in population to people. I hate to say this, but it's true, most of the available women around here are only slightly better than ones you find in a trailer park, and for someone with a graduate level education, almost none are able to keep up a conversation with me. I'd move, but I enjoy the area too much, not to mention lacking the means to do so. So, I know the feels, bro.

GhoulChaser · 2021-11-27T07:29:35+00:00

Going through this same situation, get your money up and your fitness up and women plus your mind will follow. Just have simple conversations with random people you see not necessarily just woman so you can practice your small talk. The more you engage with random people the more confident you are in knowing what to say. Practice makes perfect. Think of it like this. Even if you’re rejected you’ll never ever see the person again so why not give it a try plus bro you’re handsome you already have an edge against other guys just practice your speech and your golden.

Equivalent_Ad7389 · 2021-11-27T14:54:02+00:00

Dude please listen to me. You need to read this book "the secret language of attraction" by Matt Artisan. It's 5 bucks for a digital download. It will open your mind about building your confidence. Trust me dude.

Send me your email in a DM and I will send you a PDF. I struggled with the same issues until I read this book. It will refresh you with an abundant mindset.

First thing you have to do is take a step back. Get out of your negative mindset and take on a brand new confident and abundant mindset. This book will give you the knowledge and tools you need. Trust me dude. I know where you're coming from and it CAN be solved as long as you're willing to.

You're a good looking dude at surface level, but you need to work on some other things this book will explain. If you think women want looks and money, you're mostly wrong. Instinctually they need a man that is grounded. Makes them feel safe and secure. Confidence. Emotionally stable, calm, collective, not afraid of rejection or tension.

I can tell you're fucking angry about this which is perfect. That means you're ready to make a change.

harvey_croat · 2021-11-27T09:36:07+00:00

This is because you are thinking about yourself. Move the conversation to other people by asking questions and just fxxxxx listen to other people.

Labranth · 2021-11-27T12:46:44+00:00

First of all, if this is you on photo - then my dude you’re pretty good looking, that’s for a start.

Your problem, from what I’ve read, stems from the fear of rejection. And there are at least a couple of ways how to deal with it, I will write two:

Get rejected. A lot. Get your heart broken again, and again, and then again until you give zero fucks and it doesn’t scare you anymore. Rejection is not death, it’s not over for you unless you’re 2/10 Quasimodo, which you are obviously not. As someone wrote in the comments, get "thick skin". Life is hard. It’s cruel and it sometimes doesn’t have satisfying results. Reality doesn’t often meet expectations and this world can destroy you very fast if you won’t be strong to fight back. Fight back.
Analyse your behaviour and fears. Ask your friends, who know you better than any redditor, what your obvious flaws are in regards of communicating with women. Work on these flaws. I am 6/10 guy with crooked chest area and thin body. And I was rejected fucking million of times. I analysed myself and understood that I simply cared too much. I expected too much and my unrealistic, fantasyland expectations were squashed by reality. And then I stopped giving a shit and just started to go to the gym and work on my mind and body. After that I fucking slayed this 9/10 girl and we've been bonking in cinema theatres, parks and motels for almost a year. This is how important an adequate evaluation of yourself is. Look at yourself from 3rd person, not from your perspective. And then you will find the answer.

AirlineEasy · 2021-11-27T11:46:43+00:00

You are beautiful bro! You need therapy though, more than anything else, cause this is a mental health issue, not a game issue. You got this!

lateahalligator · 2021-11-27T15:45:09+00:00

Therapy us good move. Would going online to practice speaking scare you less. There groups you can search for people with social anxiety to practice speaking thru webcam to others. Understandable if this woykdnr work. Hopefully therapy helps and for myself gaining new skills helped with confidence. Even in somethingbtotally unrelated to socializing. Having mastery in something gave me confidence that translated to social game. Start small and keep plugging. Also be patient with yourself. After 4 years might take time to get where u want to be. Good luck, mate!

dwightaroundya · 2021-11-27T16:15:40+00:00

As a straight black guy, you’re not ugly. Change that mindset and start fucking

brrrrpopop · 2021-11-27T16:18:28+00:00

You're a good looking dude with better style than I have 🤷🏼‍♂️

2021-11-27T16:27:20+00:00

If you are confident in yourself, sure of who you are and what you want, women take notice. It is not about competition, but being an individual. Simply being yourself and being open to conversation and potentials is what you need to eventually attract someone you can enjoy spending time with. Spend your time in places that could attract a partner you would actually like. Just worry about yourself, enjoy your life and someone will be attracted to you and what you build. It is almost inevitable. If you try to force it, that's when it becomes harder to grasp.

whatthegeorge · 2021-11-27T16:41:09+00:00

The situation isn’t a competition, stop comparing yourself by starting to know what YOU want.

The situation is you are interested in learning more about someone. Stick to that. You may find that they are or are not interesting; then you can make a decision of where you want to go from there.

Try to take some time define exactly what you want before you go out and start looking.
Do you want a conversation, do you wanna get laid, do you want to significant other, do you wanna get married?
You need to figure these things out and approach conversations in such a manner.

Also, don’t look at being denied as a loss, you found out more about what you’re looking for.
Go look for someone else!

There will be one (or many) that will be interested in you because you know what you like and what you’re looking for.

Don’t forget that you aren’t applying for a job.
You are looking to start a business and YOU are interviewing partners.

McPac10 · 2021-11-27T09:06:41+00:00

Have you read stoic philosophy ? I think is a good base software for men .

okcomput3r · 2021-11-27T11:46:35+00:00

Look after yourself first man. That’s the most important thing

humanlearning · 2021-11-27T13:18:23+00:00

Are you kidding? You're absolutely handsome and obviously takes care of yourself. Just work on that self esteem

LightAtEnd · 2021-11-27T13:20:51+00:00

Trim your beard. I think 1.7mm would suit you better and exchange your glasses and you would look👌

Good outfit otherwise

I was in same boat as you, iam now dating a girl I got from a cold approach. It was a Loooong journey tho

FreddieG55 · 2021-11-27T13:58:25+00:00

I would recommend building a social circle and work on making guy friends. Then you’ll have a wingman to go out with and that will make approaching at bars a lot easier.

PeachStrings · 2021-11-27T15:18:14+00:00

Same dude, I was at the mall yesterday and couldn’t approach for the life of me, it was really bumming me out, I did find that by calming down and sitting for a few minutes I was able to let the anxiety pass, I even did a little meditation for a bit which helped, good luck to you sir

Dianabayyebii · 2021-11-27T15:28:08+00:00

Is it just the “in person” act of talking that makes you nervous? I get it, I really do. You seem to be able to converse which is good! (proof by this post lol) Maybe you should start by doing the online dating app thing. Have conversations with women without the pressure. Build up that foundation first and then do the meetup. That way you’ll already have a buffer of knowing what to talk about!

tryrforrob · 2021-11-27T17:14:41+00:00

Brother, don't be so hard on yourself...In your words, there's a lot that gives out what YOU think of yourself : "fucking coward", "fearful", "self-sabotaging", "inadequate". A lot of us have been there, so feel you 100%. What I think you need to do tho, is - screw dry spell (not literally), as much as I get your urge to hook up, you need to take a step back and fix your stuff first. You might not need a therapist, I think you just are too hard on yourself - you have problems walking and you pounce yourself for not being able to run a marathon. Take it easy, from now on for next 10 days set a goal to just chat with someone. Use collaborative, not competitive frame here - you're not there to be BETTER than someone, you're just to talk and not to impress someone else but to unblock you, you're practicing being you - treat other people in the club like they're there to help you out. If you don't look at it as a zero sum game (I NEED TO GET THAT GIRL vs that other guy), suddenly you're fucking bulletproff

Sad_Insurance_3254 · 2021-11-27T17:41:01+00:00

I have anxiety as well. I can tell you a quote by seneca that helped my a lot: often times we are more hurt in imagination than reality.

I overcame approach anxiety by doing this: I'd see a girl that I like, I'd walk up to her, and tell her what I find nice about her (what matters is that I was truly genuine), and then I'd wish her a good day and leave. After a while, I would start a conversation with a girl, but not ask for her number. Now, I have no problem with going all the way. I hope this helps you out OP. Good luck.

intensely_human · 2021-11-27T18:55:56+00:00

Say “Hi”.

After you’ve done that 10 or 20 times, set a goal of 10 words.

If you can’t say hi, practice taking one step closer to people. If you can’t do that, practice turning toward them.

Just keep breaking it down to smaller and smaller steps until there’s a step in front of you that you can do.

Fun2badult · 2021-11-27T19:37:36+00:00

You should start talking to random unattractive people in life like at the grocery store, gas station, wherever. Just talk about something nearby or what you’re doing or whatever. You need to get yourself comfortable chit chatting with regular people you’re not attracted to

Alarming-Court-2180 · 2021-11-27T20:14:10+00:00

Try approaching women without the thought of it becoming sexual or a relationship and just vibe, cause if you put all the focus on that you will sabotage yourself. And if you vibe really well chances you will score but otherwise go in to things with no expectations, cause those expectations can mess you up.

syracuseda9 · 2021-11-27T23:21:19+00:00

Im in the same boat as you, objectively decent looking, in very good shape (i enjoy bodybuilding as a hobby), and I have very good career prospects (good grades/ academic success at university).

Im almost 22 and ive never had an intimate interraction with a girl before so Im even worse than you dawg. Finally decided to go and get a therapist for it last weekend and my first meeting is on monday.

Ur not alone man

2021-11-27T09:52:18+00:00

I recommend mastering mental health while simultaneously learning the ins and outs of social interactions and all the subtle nuances. I can teach you everything but this process takes time and if your looking for overnight success then I can’t help but if you want true transformation then I can lay out the process for you Hit me up on a chat

Select_Advisor · 2021-11-27T14:13:12+00:00

All in the mindset. You prolly look better than most men

LongLiveMacdre · 2021-11-27T14:37:57+00:00

Most of these women nowadays aren’t worth talking anyways. I don’t blame you, I no longer speak to them, and just channel my energy in other areas.

Spartan5326 · 2021-11-27T13:56:33+00:00

Why don’t you just get on dating apps? You will have the chance to talk to someone intimately and when you hang out with them you won’t really have “competition”.

vonngh0st · 2021-11-27T14:05:49+00:00

Find out when he’s coming to your city social animal

paddywacknack · 2021-11-27T18:26:50+00:00

You're taking action in the face of fear.

But definition that makes your brave.

There are already alot of comments here but, I thought I would add starting smaller and building up.

Dont approach the hottest girl in the room or even any girl.

Start with the old man who seems lonely.

Talk about the weather with the person making coffee.

Or even just say hi to people and walk by.

No one started slaying dragons.

They learned how to hold a sword first.

paul_ernst · 2021-11-27T19:22:07+00:00

The fact that you’re saying something has to change, you’re already going places

Icr711 · 2021-11-27T19:55:09+00:00

Get online and work on your skills with tinder and the others. You’re decent looking. You’ll get dates and you’ll figure it out. Rinse and repeat.

Carpsonian22 · 2021-11-27T20:38:42+00:00

If you lived in STL I would totally hang out with you!

Algo2Pete · 2021-11-27T21:09:40+00:00

I used to chase this hot woman. I approached her with nothing to lose. No pickup lines, just normal convo. We hit it off well so I invested more into her. The more I chase the more she ran. So one day, I said fuck this shit. I stopped and let her run. After a while, she was wondering why I stopped chasing and started approaching me instead the other way around. By this time, my mind was made up, IDGAF about her. She's all about validation, cock hoping slut.

My point is talk to her like you're talking to your buddies. Relax, be funny and don't validate. Make her guess about your thinking. Don't give her all the answers, ask her to take a guess.

BDF1999 · 2021-11-27T21:10:54+00:00

In the same boat as u. It fuckin sucks

FLFinest3 · 2021-11-27T21:18:20+00:00

Dm me i can help you

Shadow__Account · 2021-11-27T21:47:01+00:00

Don’t be so hard on yourself man, be your own friend and be understanding and supporting to yourself. Get some small victories, drop your ego. You don’t have to be Don Juan in one day. Ask the time, make some friendly conversation, drop a compliment. Say hi. And be happy with and proud of yourself everytime you make a small step forward. Calling yourself a coward won’t help it will just put pressure and unrealistic high expectations on yourself and get you in a self fulfilling negative spiral. You’ll get there just take small steps learn to love yourself and when you do you can also appreciate yourself and know your worth and realize no matter how other people look or act or whatever they are not you and you bring your own unique set of characteristics and things to the table

420Pimpin · 2021-11-27T23:12:15+00:00

You’re going to have to stop comparing yourself to others to get far man... but you are definitely an attractive guy. Like objectively attractive. Naturally handsome, solid style (from what I can tell). Your looks ain’t the problem. If you automatically think you don’t stack up, you’re not going to. It’s difficult to convey this, but it’s truly all in your head.

Also, remember that women aren’t men. Charisma, status, confidence, etc all matter a lot more than physical appearance on the front end imo.

Itsawig25 · 2021-11-27T23:48:28+00:00

I have no advice at all, I only came to say you are very handsome !

2021-11-28T03:19:46+00:00

I'm sorry you're going thru such a hard time. Identifying what you're doing to yourself is huge and therapy helps. Looking at your picture, I'm shocked you're not more confident. You're very attractive. I hope you find away to start being kinder to yourself soon.

AssistanceMedical951 · 2021-11-28T05:16:09+00:00

Dude, you’re hella cute. Women are just people. Just try to see how much fun conversation you can have with a woman.

RoseRed20 · 2021-11-28T13:41:36+00:00

If it helps, women don’t “compare” as much as what men think we do. When I meet someone new I don’t compare them to someone else I know or around me at the moment. I make an opinion of that person on what they are projecting and saying. If you start a conversation, I’m listening to what you’re saying, how your acting and reacting.

3inchesisenough_ · 2021-11-28T16:05:34+00:00

Jesus Christ you’re good looking . If it’s in a club go up to a girl tell her she’s very pretty and start small talk. If you’re on a date the convo should be 80 percent them talking. Only talk about yourself when they ask you questions. Don’t just ask questions. Make statements . Ask them what they do . If they’re a nurse say wow , how’s that going with the pandemic. Get people to open up to you . Have a genuine interest in their life . That’s all there is to it

SkiupBaeless · 2022-01-12T01:31:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	FUCKING COWARD
Author	SkiupBaeless
Upvotes	155
Comments	94
Date	November 27, 2021 6:07 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r36z4r/fucking_coward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fucking-coward.1271705 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271705

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