girls think i am gay, but i'm straight and attracted to women. what to do about this?

NatashOverWorld · 2024-04-14T15:39:29+00:00

Show interest in women. Like when she's asking you of you're gay, tell her you're happy to take her on a date romorrow to show her much you like women.

It you have the voice, and flirt with men, and you have softer qualities, make your attraction to women clear. You don't need to be a sleazebag, but you need to have the energy that says, 'iif a sober attractive woman was into you, you'd have sex with her'.

I don't have that probably anymore, but I used to come across as gay, because I didn't clearly hold that energy. Now I'm old enough that the knowledge is a bit useless to me, alas, but it did work.

Trey2022 · 2024-04-14T15:37:03+00:00

Find new women. Once they see you as feminine, you won’t change their mind. Hit the gym hard. Lift with intensity 4-5 times per week and eat a lot of food (with an emphasis on protein consumption) to gain weight. I don’t care if you put on some fat, it will happen and it will be fine. You can fix that later.

Finally change the way you dress. You don’t have to look like a blue-collar worker on his day off but make sure you give yourself a chance to be masculine. Ditch the art major vibe. Bonus points if you can grow a solid beard and mustache

garlopf · 2024-04-14T16:49:24+00:00

My friend just used to said "come back to my place and find out".

PrinceDestin · 2024-04-14T15:48:51+00:00

I’d say a lot of times people hear the gay voice and assume that the person is gay, even I have done this unfortunately, well in my case in turned out they were but still…. I’d say hit on more women, not in a pick up artist kind of way but in a way that builds your experience with girls, maybe joke about you having a gay voice within conversations and what not, you might be seen as too feminine idk how you look but itd be key to fix that… go from people assume your gay to, people are shocked that you sound the way you do instead

boom-wham-slam · 2024-04-14T15:54:18+00:00

So you basically act and look gay... so duh everyone thinks you're gay. Smh. Should be obvious.

Bruh-bruhman · 2024-04-14T17:06:36+00:00

I went clubbing on new year’s eve and 3 hours in a small group of people came up and danced with me with the girls asking if I was gay.

I’m 6’1, decent physique (not the leanest), was wearing a polo tee, long pants and a pair of air max, recently shaved my face asw.

Either they were drunk or I actually do look gay, but I still think about

JudgeCareless · 2024-04-14T20:13:20+00:00

I can't help but think of that episode from Seinfeld where George and Jerry are assumed to be gay by others. The response from George is priceless when he says exactly what people have written in this post. Come home with me and find out.

As for me I don't feel like proving my sexuality to anyone. Sometimes women are jealous of you and want to act like a man in the relationship because they feel like they can control you. It's a complex game of psychological manipulation and devaluation of the emotional intelligence of a person. It's also a tool to socially ostracize somebody and reduce their quality of life by destroying access to women or mating partners.

There's nothing wrong with being a chocolate boy , with being in touch with your emotions and being compassionate. Being aggressive and dominating all the time is not evidence of masculinity but of high testosterone levels which can be found in any heterosexual man.

Women are used to being used and abused by heterosexual men so once in a while when a guy comes who treats a woman right is viewed as gay. I have myself faced this and it's a travesty to know that you need to have feministic tendencies in order to be compassionate and caring. It's stupid as hell and exposed the primitive nature of even western societies where people are not willing to have a conversation about how to treat women with respect.

I once loved a woman very much. She immediately caught my eye and I could see the trauma she had gone through. I was compassionate kind romantic in every way possible given the constraints of the workplace (I met her at work). I gave her all the hints that I was interested in her. Yet she looked at me like I was gay. She sucked the soul right out of me. She wanted to be like me so she started acting like a dude. Moreover she liked a dude who was gay and weak enough not to fuck her so she asked him to be like me in a lot of respects. Where it got toxic was that she ended up having a baby with him and I was disgusted by this that I had to leave the toxic environment. Not only was I hurt that I was cheated on but it took such a long time for me to figure out how toxic shit had become.

The conclusion is that when women see men who are slightly more on the considerate side, they immediately jump on their sexuality and think that they're gay. That's not the case at all.

atomant88 · 2024-04-14T15:55:55+00:00

doesnt matter homie. as long as youre communicating and working the steps you'll be fine.

3boodqt · 2024-04-14T18:42:00+00:00

Based on the reasons you wrote, I understand behind their judgement.

mafiargenta · 2024-04-14T20:36:26+00:00

You can always give it a try with the boys 👀

happysri · 2024-04-14T22:15:35+00:00

I’ll take a stab at actionable advice instead of mocking because it seems evident you’re trying to understand and rectify a genuine hindrance in a proper way but too many here are making fun of you.

I hear you when you say it flirting with your fellow bros is normal in your culture. That’s actually nice and endearing even that you’re all that secure and playful but this is not working for you, so stop it. If you feel that’s too hard be receptive to your friends’ playfulness but do not initiate it, especially with a feminine audience. You don’t have to stop it completely but for a while so you can understand how to be playful without the flirting and develop that ability first. Most girls will not sit and research you to figure out if you’re gay or bit, they just go with momentary gut feelings and then they talk so your legend builds up. You don’t work with correcting facts but with building that gut reaction in others, that is the basis of this advice.
You need to learn how to do kino, this is major major major in building attraction and the sooner you learn how to do it right the better, because you’re first attempts will be clumsy. Don’t go for that macho aggresive kino variants bs that a lot of people here recommend . Practice a gentle consensual approach. this usually involves exchanging hints. Make a small gesture like lean in etc. and gauge her response, then make another gesture and gauge her response. The reason I mention kino is it is powerful as heck and probably one of the best non-verbal way to convey your intentions. Once you figure out the kino dance, you’ll be amazed at how easy the response is.
Treat it as a shit-test and use humor. Again you won’t get that far with arguing facts but if you use humor instead they will change their minds by themselves. The key here though is to do this with confidence. I’ve actually had this exact scenario happen to me and the thing worked was asking her to check for herself. It was a bit crude but I realise she was shit testing because she was afraid of being naked with flirting with me because of the possibility of being denied. I was also at work so that might have also contributed to her hesitation. Either way be gentle and playful, humor is a superpower and will get you everywhere, be responsible with it.
You likely have a lot to work with body language. You don’t have to fake it but you do gotta understand that what you broadcast will be what is received and thus perceived. You don’t have to change anything about you but in your free time thing about ways you can express yourself that are reflective of the new you instead of just being like - I was always this way so I’m going to always be this way. It’s very likely that once you examine yourself with the lens that your personality is not what you’re presenting but what they are seeing, you’ll include changes to yourself that will allow you to become the personality that you want to be. Please don’t be resistant to that.

Freetos23 · 2024-04-14T16:09:47+00:00

Get rid of the ambiguity in your life, it might be causing unwanted mixed signals.

First impression is the looks, cut your hair shorter or very short and then change your dress code into a more manly one. Get rid of the art shit, its ambiguous.

Next, stop flirting with your guy mates, especially with women around. Work on changing your voice, it might take years but it'll be worth it

Practical_Window_919 · 2024-04-14T18:20:22+00:00

Don't take this the wrong way, but without even knowing you, and just by reading your reasons for why people think you are gay, I too believe you are secretly gay.

Dumbengineerr · 2024-04-14T19:56:03+00:00

Make a conscious effort to talk with a deeper voice. Stop moving your hands too much when you talk.

Talk more with expressions than actual words. Look serious but not that serious.

Don’t slouch, walk with a straight back.

Competitive-Pop6530 · 2024-04-14T21:13:59+00:00

Start dating men. Women will begin to flock to you, then bam! “The ole switcheroo.”

dasitmane85 · 2024-04-14T15:43:17+00:00

TLDR, but be more manly

Jironasaurus · 2024-04-14T16:18:38+00:00

It's good that you know what the problem is now, because at 22 years old, you're not so stuck on who you are and therefore, you can still change all these aspects of yourself.

Bad news is, what you're doing now is not gonna help UNLESS you change your mannerisms. Personally, I reckon you should start with changing your voice and the way you speak.

Good news is, your voice can definitely be changed. It is NOT an absolute. Meaning, you're not stuck with it unless you choose to. There are online courses for doing so. I believe there's a downloadable program by Roger Love that you can try. It will take a bit of getting used to, but as with most things, it's just a matter of habit... so go through that process now rather than later. Hope that helps.

klippklar · 2024-04-14T18:25:26+00:00

The problem isn't that you come across as gay, the problem is that you come across as too feminine. Dress masculine, signal interest in women, lead the way, get some masculine perfume, work out etc.

Ghost_of_Chrisanova · 2024-04-14T16:27:01+00:00

-- Didn't see all the text, before my first response.

Yeah, as others have said, ditch all the ambiguous / hermaphroditic art stuff. It is bullseyeing you as gay/bi. Change your voice, and your presentation.

No offense on the art community, but it is what it is. People still stereotype (even though we all profess to be so smart these days), and most people are generally morons.

HarryPotterHentai · 2024-04-14T16:29:26+00:00

ignore some other idiots here, just be yourself and be confident, dont be afraid to show interest. plenty of women are into feminine guys if they are confident with it (im a testament). Maybe not basic straight straight girls, but I know a lot of bi girls who dont even like masculine men, jus be yourself and youll find someone

Viktor2500 · 2024-04-14T18:53:55+00:00

I didn't even really read all of what you wrote to give you the answer. It's because you don't behave congruently as a straight guy would even in obvious situations. You're probably looking decent enough as well so the only probable conclusion that they can come to is that you're gay. Be more ballsy!

Excellent-Archer-238 · 2024-04-14T19:23:31+00:00

Tell her: "if I was straight you would be mine"

Diredg · 2024-04-14T19:51:32+00:00

Are you chatting with them and they still think that you are gay? Trust me they sense it instantly if you are gay or not

Available_Bass9725 · 2024-04-14T15:55:57+00:00

You can't be masculine in a vaccum. Masculinity is a zero sum game in a dog eat dog world. Challenge the most masculine, leader man of your large group to a fight and win it. Then no one will ever look at you like a sissy.

Remember that women love the most masculine, patriarchal, chaotic man in the room. Just ask what kind of man took their virginities. It's never going to be the guy in touch with his feminine side. Every other man women want to sissify in order to have them in a submissive position. This is why women are so obsessed with men in skirts, kpopers, etc.

seducedyourmom · 2024-04-14T17:55:59+00:00

You can make yourself seem less gay, you can even choose to speak a little deeper, slower, take pauses, how you look, your haircut, the words you use, everything that you do is ultimately your choice. You act as though all of these things about yourself were pre-destined to be, when in reality every decision and choice in your life has led you to be who you are. People’s voices can change, try going to another country and notice how you can pick up an accent. It all comes from repetition. The gay voice is simply an upwards inflection towards the end of sentences, which is a bit unsure sounding as if everything you say is a question. Women like decisiveness and men that are sure of themselves that’s why a traditional masculine voice inflects downward at the end of sentences. This sounds more confident and decisive. Direct and firm. Less questions and more statements. I also don’t do any of that weird male sex flirting that some guys do. It’s fairly flamboyant and I don’t think most girls would get turned on by that.

You can proceed however you wish, and you can be the version of yourself now that you are, but you’re obviously not getting the results you want. Maybe take a step back, take full accountability of everything about yourself, and be willing to improve or change things. Learning to seduce and attract women is a skill that takes a long time to master but has extreme benefit.

Source: most women are attracted to me

Title	girls think i am gay, but i'm straight and attracted to women. what to do about this?
Author	Dreemur1
Upvotes	43
Comments	66
Date	April 14, 2024 3:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c3w16t/girls_think_i_am_gay_but_im_straight_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-think-i-am-gay-but-im-straight-and-attracted.1515082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515082

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