How can you tell the difference between friendly playfulness and sexual flirtiness?

Chris_Baratheon · 2013-08-14T14:15:35+00:00

The fastest way to find out (in my opinion) is to create a little sexual tension and gauge her response. I'm sure others will have different inputs but looking for the queues she'll be forced to give (lip bite, playing with her hair, a change in her posture to become more open) will give you a pretty clear indication

dearlenny · 2013-08-14T16:26:04+00:00

If you don't know if what she is doing is friendly playfulness or sexual flirtiness, assume it's the second.

Remember: Always assume attraction.

You're problably confused because you're letting the girl set the frame of the interaction. YOU have to set the frame.

Don't wait or wonder if she is being friendly or flirting. If you want to just be friends, act friendly. If you want to flirt, start flirting and see how she reacts.

Luftwaffe88 · 2013-08-14T19:02:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ben_KA · 2013-08-14T17:24:01+00:00

What kind of interactions are you having?

I am assuming that "friendly playfulness" just means joking around and teasing, things like that? If not, please correct me and let me know what you mean by that.

If you're having friendly banter and want to see if she's into you or not, use humor to introduce something slightly sexual into the conversation. Also, start using little things like high-fives and hugs to start getting comfortable with each others touch.

The good news is if a girl is being friendly and playful with you, she enjoys your personality and being around you. If you met her recently, that's easy enough to turn into attraction.

TheAtomicOption · 2013-08-14T17:36:51+00:00

I failed to guess correctly on this one about a month ago, but I think know what I did wrong. It's generally not a big deal, but it is annoying when it happens.

My notes-to-self for improving are mostly making things clearly sexual as soon as I decide I want a sexual relationship instead of a platonic one. The reason I guessed wrong was that I was talking to a girl who I'd gotten to know first, and wasn't particularly interested in picking up until she started flirting with me. Many women are reserved but kind of silly and this makes for a flirting style that it very similar to the normal friendship behavior of some more outgoing (but still silly) women. Turns out my friend was the latter though I'd thought she was the former. The lip biting and other nervous fidgets are dead giveaways of interest for some women, but part of the normal acting routine for others and still others never act nervous at all. I guessed wrong. NBD.

I think the biggest challenge here is less about knowing for sure what the correct answer is from her body language or tone, and more about testing to find out the answer. DO SCIENCE! There's no reliable sneaky way to find out if she likes you without revealing you're interested in her, so just do the test and get it over with. Others have mentioned kino and while I think that term is too specific, there is a correct idea there.

Start doing things with the woman that are clearly not just friendly. This is usually in the form of invading her personal space and saying things that are very clearly sexual. It's the basic idea behind David DeAngelo's old Kiss Test. Doing this ASAP is great because then you can be pretty certain about judging this person's intent in the future. I don't always go for his stuff, but Nick The Dating Specialist also had a good piece on Why you think you're flirting but aren't which highlighted many of the behaviors that can lead to this type of confusion.

TL;DR Be more blunt and honest about your sexual desire so that you get the red/green light sooner. Then you won't have to guess about her intentions.

2013-08-15T23:55:47+00:00

What the fuck is this shit...

If she has your dick in her mouth, it's sexual.

What the fuck were you expecting? A constitution about when something is sexual? If it's sexual, it's sexual, and if you can't figure that out, good lord you're scre...well, no, you won't be screwed, that's the point!

Title	How can you tell the difference between friendly playfulness and sexual flirtiness?
Author	Adnanwalker410
Upvotes	45
Comments	30
Date	August 14, 2013 1:38 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kci0v/how_can_you_tell_the_difference_between_friendly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-you-tell-the-difference-between-friendly.1356849 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356849

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