How did you raise your self-esteem?

demilitarizdsm · 2018-03-11T14:45:33+00:00

Read Blink by M. Gladwell. Got a big boost there when I learned how reliable my instinct could be.

Gym. 5 day challenges to test my limits.

Be able to say exactly what kind of girl you like. Have an ideal woman. Not to become a unicorn chaser but to be able to take a L more easily.

taleo96 · 2018-03-11T15:00:06+00:00

Gym helped me gain more confidence in how I look.

If you’re into podcasts, “You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes” is a great listen to hear how Pete Holmes talks to celebrities for around 2 hours about in-depth topics (like happiness, life, religion, etc). Pete Holmes is a professional comedian so he keeps it lighthearted too.

As far as assertiveness, take baby steps of being confident in conversations. Converse with your family, then friends, then friends of friends.

Slowly but surely you’ll feel more confident to have conversations with strangers. Then try with a one minute conversation with someone behind you in line and then that’ll progress to talking to strangers for longer.

Insertopinionhere · 2018-03-11T16:45:51+00:00

Read Self-compassion by Kristen Neff - A big part of low self-esteem is that you’re so hard on yourself. You have this critical inner voice that is unrelenting and unforgiving. Being self-compassionate helps you to be kinder to yourself, allows yourself to make mistakes, and basically doesn’t think the world is gonna end if something embarrassing happens.

Self-compassion and self-acceptance are, imo, the foundation of of self improvement. Without those two qualities your path to self improvement will always be built on shaky grounds. You have to learn to be your own best friend and support yourself. When you’re feeling down you want to cultivate an inner-voice that encourages you, not one that puts you down.

Situational confidence will come and go but self-compassion and self-acceptance will always be there to pick you up when you’re down.

astrokidd · 2018-03-11T17:25:22+00:00

Read "Feeling Good" by David Burns. Read it only if you want to change your life.

ImJustSo · 2018-03-11T17:51:21+00:00

Setting a defined goal and then achieving that goal created a foundation for improving self-esteem. I knocked one after another off my list and I still do. That success, knowing I can do whatever the fuck I want, has created a confidence that's solid as a rock.

I know I'm going to fail everytime I try something new and I know I'm not going to stop until I get the success I want. So since I've accepted every failure in order to succeed, I know there's nothing that can stop me, if I have the motivation for something.

Assertiveness comes with the territory, but so does the confidence that allows you to not even feel the need to be assertive when it's unnecessary. Sometimes you can get the results you want in a hundred other ways and if you're only interested in results, then it doesn't matter how you get them.

Go start succeeding.

yelow13 · 2018-03-11T19:16:27+00:00

Gym 100%

UD_Gama_Reigh · 2018-03-11T16:28:17+00:00

I don't know if I would classify this as confidence or self esteem, however, reminding myself to tilt my head back and look up really started making a difference in my emotional levels

Yogurt_rekkt · 2018-03-11T17:04:19+00:00

Startes lifting, running and read a lot and then i donated all my old clothes and changed my entire wardrobe.

Steely_Jackson · 2018-03-11T18:35:19+00:00

Affirmations in the mirror, working out, healthy choices, and banging my girlfriend every day.

RunAwaySynth · 2018-03-11T16:22:07+00:00

I think peoples idea of self-esteem is kind of skewed. Alot of the advice nowadays is like as if self esteem is based on how others percieve you rather than how yoh see yourself

To really be comfertable with yourself have something you be confident about, be it a skill, a quality, anything, it needs to be something that is valued both by yourself and others.

Hope this helps:)

RayMilano009 · 2018-03-12T02:42:43+00:00

Taking action towards what you want in life will raise your self esteem like no other things.

Also, push yourself when you are in social situations. You are already aware that you're not assertive, which is really good. Now, you just need to push yourself and be assertive whenever you are in social situations. Don't be afraid to fail. If you're not naturally assertive, it will be uncomfortable the first few times. Keep repeating and it will become a habit and you will forget that you were ever non-assertive.

RedStar19 · 2018-03-11T21:33:02+00:00

It's a basic belief in yourself and what you're about. It's not doing anything specifically, though it's almost leaving a bit of you in everything you do. Being aware of your approach to things I guess, and being comfortable with this. Regarding your assertiveness specifically, it's like a muscle - exercise it

Most outsource.. like this thread

Difficult to put into words but I'd summarize it as: do it your (own) way

Something like this

ALargePianist · 2018-03-12T00:36:08+00:00

Olive Oil.

A while back I heard about how the ancient Greeks used olive oil as a moisturizer after baths. Being curious how it would look on my disgusting body, I gave it a shot and was not prepared for how awesome I felt. Everything about it. I felt like a God. I started becoming more attuned with my body, more aware of its muscles and lack-there-of. This was a driver to eating healthier and being more fit.

Then I learned that I could treat my hair with it, which is rad because I want to grow long flowing beautiful hair. I started treating my hair a couple times a week with olive oil, which led to a desire for more ways to care for my hair, from dietary changes to daily routine. My hair is gorgeous now.

I recently read that a shot of olive oil in the morning can help digestion and inflammation, which is the next step in my quest for a flat stomach to oil up. I wonder what else I could do to acheive that...

Olive oil has been a catalyst for many of my self improvement endeavors, and I was not expecting it at all.

tab13092 · 2018-03-12T17:38:29+00:00

I personally don't have any literature to suggest, but what's helped me is deciding something (based on my personal morals, beliefs, what have you) and just rolling with it.

I personally have always been a "Yes man" kind of guy to avoid unwanted conflict but in turn got stuck in a cycle of being walked all over.

Finally decided to stop being everyone's bitch, and to stick to my guns and though it's caused some tension (ie employee - boss relations hah) I've both gotten what I wanted and felt fucking awesome about it.

Probably isn't the grand end all be all advice, but coupled with everyone else's awesome suggestions I think it'll help you become more assertive as it has me.

Good luck pal.

XDarkstarX1138 · 2018-03-12T02:23:38+00:00

Read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Most of it is about finding your own personal legend in life and focusing on your purpose, very inspirational tale.

svall · 2018-03-12T11:21:29+00:00

success raises self-esteem

RickDiamond · 2018-03-14T16:12:52+00:00

Cocaine. It's amazing what drugs can do for your confidence.

i_need_help_bro · 2018-03-12T02:23:53+00:00

Buying a girl a drink at bar

Literally a confidence booster, especially if she says yes.

All you have to do is just ask if you can buy her a drink that's all you gotta do and go from there

Title	How did you raise your self-esteem?
Author	RedStar19
Upvotes	51
Comments	41
Date	March 11, 2018 2:29 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/83n042/how_did_you_raise_your_selfesteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-did-you-raise-your-self-esteem.1442953 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442953

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