how do i get over fumbling 10s

Yes_cummander · 2025-06-25T16:44:57+00:00

Stop having looks as the number 1 value indicator on your list of thing to judge women by.

Be very aware of your own behaviour when putting women on a pedestal. Make a short list. If you're about to do something that might be too much, check your list.

Stop being surprised about attracting 10's!

YOU'RE ATTRACTING TEN'S MY DUDE!

Rejoice!

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-25T16:41:31+00:00

You already know. You still, at least on occasion, have a desperate/scarcity mindset.

Evening_Project1219 · 2025-06-25T18:22:30+00:00

I mean I’d be pissed if someone went to a party after canceling a date. That’s a deal breaker and self respect honestly to end it after that. And being a gentleman is the best way to pull a 10 but it has to be authentic. Nothing more of putting than a guy who switches up on you or puts you in a pedestal. These girls are tired of guys who chase them and kiss their ass only to switch up on them the minute they start to open up that’s why they act like this. Be a gentleman but genuinely (as in would you treat an old lady this way too) and don’t tolerate flakey behavior. Girls can sense from a mile away when you are just being fake nice to get in their pants. Go for girls based off compatibility and not just looks. And no not all 10s are crazy they just are tired of guys with bad intentions and you have to be patient but self respecting with them.

ConsiderationOwn7922 · 2025-06-25T17:30:00+00:00

You should make the majority of texting about herself and asking questions, that way when you meet up she’ll be like this guy knows me. You want to tease and comment on her interests etc. Keep your interests over texts to a minimum, if shes intrigued or wants to know more she will find out in person. Send her a voice note if you’ve been busy but don’t be her buddy. I mess up by trying to qualify myself over text when it’s not going right. Be mysterious and awesome in person, don’t divulge your whole personality over text 24/7. She could possibly assume you have no options and do that with every other girl

cjunc2013 · 2025-06-25T16:56:22+00:00

U dodged bullets. U learned ur lessons with girls that are likely having dozens of dudes in their DMs… grab u a good 8 and have a good life!

Those 10s have lots of choices and u don’t know if they are putting on a front. Don’t forget the hot crazy scale. U may have thought u had a unicorn, but maybe u didn’t… and ill tell u from experience. My unicorn cost me tens of thousands in family court.

Take ur time, have fun, and be diligent and choosey. If a girl doesn’t like u being kind to her… marrying them one day and treating them well will definitely backfire

Visualize_ · 2025-06-25T17:33:27+00:00

Have more sets with 10s until it works out lol

LeatherDonkey3806 · 2025-06-25T17:55:38+00:00

Wow...this is almost exactly my situation. Can get 7s all day - even even make out with/bang some 9s but trying to actually date the 9+ girls has been such a struggle...my problem is I get wayyyy too excited and cant play it cool - I try to set up a date a few days after meeting them - I make jokes "I already told my mom about us" which they usually think are funny but I think they smell the eagerness and get turned off

BrainEuphoria · 2025-06-25T20:43:28+00:00

You buy roses too soon for them. I wouldn’t do that until we both explicitly know that we’re into each other. You’re also planning too many wayyy exclusive or non-inexpensive things for them. Need to pipe down a bit on that.

You’re too mesmerized by how awesome they look, up to seeming like a fan to them that is shocked to meet their highness, they sense insecurity when you put them on an insane pedestal, gotta knock that down a notch.

When you always have it at the back of your mind that you’re worried of (can’t wait to!) fumbling them, then you’re more than likely to speak it into existence.

GroundUpFallShort · 2025-06-26T01:56:11+00:00

Dinner and bouquet of roses.. you’re doing way too much

Own-Dark-7337 · 2025-06-25T19:00:31+00:00

Commenting so that I can come to it later

Hot_Lead_7335 · 2025-06-25T19:01:27+00:00

Even if you weren't needy they could've flaked for other reasons. You don't know this is the reason.

The more you go out with the less you'll care.

MyUsername0_0 · 2025-06-25T22:02:40+00:00

You have to be okay with losing the girl. Also just because a girl is a 10/10 doesnt mean she's a good person. Cancelling a date for a party is kind of fucked up.

sexypirates · 2025-06-25T22:10:31+00:00

embrace my favorite four letter word NEXT

Matter_Still · 2025-06-25T22:59:00+00:00

While this might not be what you want to hear, you are dripping with desperation because you are sensing a painful truth: just as you designate some girls as "7s" and not your first choice--women you would likely kick to the curb if one of your "10s" played along--you've discovered that in the eyes of "rare looking, instagram-famous women", you have been considered a disposable "7" or "8".

That's the painful part. Sooner or later, someone will find us as options, good for an hour or a week, but then cut us loose when their "10" comes along.

Join the club.

Chiiiicckkeeennn · 2025-06-25T17:09:08+00:00

Change your perspective of the game. Don’t look at it as you trying to win her. How is she gonna win you. Because as a man the woman wants your money, your last name, your seed, your protection, etc.

PipPipTheDiddly · 2025-06-25T18:51:27+00:00

Get 2 10s?

Strong-Cat-7844 · 2025-06-25T21:26:59+00:00

When it comes to 9-10s let them initiate all contact after first 1-2 dates. Litteraly the only way. If they dont you didnt leave a good enough first/second impression. In that case move on

ProfitisAlethia · 2025-06-25T22:36:45+00:00

Honestly, the type of girl who cancels on a pre arranged dinner date to go to a party and is Instagram famous is never going to be yours anyways. These girls are young and living it up while they can. I'm not knocking that, I'm just saying that you probably weren't going to lock it down anyways.

It's been really hard for me to get this through my head at 30 but I realize more and more as I get older that looks have 0 bearing on how happy your relationship is.

If a girl is truly a 10 there's a very good chance that she is living a lifestyle you don't want to be attached to anyways.

There's a great comedian who has a joke that in essence says: "all guys want to date hot 10s when they're young, but as you get older all you're really looking for is a kind 6"

As I get older I don't know if I can agree with that statement anymore.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-25T22:48:23+00:00

Basically don’t get emotionally invested and care. Your game works well with 7/8’s cause you don’t care and fall into their frame. 9/10 you care and are outcome dependant so fall into their hot girl frame (to be fair a very hard frame to not fall into). Only solution is either have a bunch more 9/10 girls which is hard or try really hard to keep yourself from caring. Also gonna be hard

TubbsMcGee_ · 2025-06-25T23:13:39+00:00

Treat them the exact way you would treat the 7s/8s that you have no problem getting. You are pedestalizing them which starts to show through your behavior.

Relevant_Category713 · 2025-06-26T04:47:06+00:00

Hello! I think that you are probably dodging a bullet with those girls. Dont put out energy that you will never receive back. The pretty girls who will actually give you the time of day are out there, and when you “fumble” a 10/10, js imagine what she’s missing out on! Girls like being treated by a gentleman. Just remember boundaries and what may be going too far, but dont sweat it if they dont reciprocate. There’s plenty of 10s out there!

f33 · 2025-06-26T12:49:16+00:00

Youre never going to lock down a young ten thats instagram famous and goes to parties like that. Best outcome is you get a turn. She has way too many options to focus all her attention on you. Just be happy she's giving you a chance to hit and enjoy it while it lasts

DIme_x · 2025-06-26T17:02:04+00:00

The advice here is good but obvious… because you threw out a reason why you aren’t getting them in your original post, everyone is just basically parroting what you said. So here’s some also obvious advice, that you may not have heard yet.

There are only 3 primary ways to bang 8’s 9’s and 10’s that I know of: 1. Pay 2. Be an 8 or above yourself 3. Have a LIFESTYLE that attracts 8’s 9’s and 10’s

And that’s pretty much it for things that are useful… there are a handful more ways… like getting them while they are young and inexperienced, or simply being the best that she has access to (small town vibes, etc) but really when it comes to the vast majority of 9’s and 10’s it’s about your lifestyle and whether they find it attractive or not, bottom line.

I’m banging a camgirl atm but it’s come to the end of my turn which is all good. Her name is bluexstacey we cam sometimes. I got her with number 2 on the list. She came onto me, she offered to cam with me.

The only game I really ran was not messing it up. I’m dating other women and have many on the go atm. Bottom line is you gotta be something they want, and then try your best to not mess it up. That’s what I do anyways.

DietWooden9721 · 2025-06-27T16:06:27+00:00

It sounds like you already know your issue. I'm glad your maxing out your appeal.

If you want 10s to hang out with you. Get their number and rent out a yacht, a pool, something expensive for her to be at. Yes you'll have to spend a lot of money but you invite other girls that you're ok with, but the goal is the 10. If she doesn't show up, you have the other girls to occupy your time. Then send her photos of you having fun and say "wish you were here".

You're not at the 10s level so you can't expect them to date down when they can just get another dude that can afford nice things.

Now if you're short on money, lower your standards and look at the women in your current circle that you know are interested in you. And date them normally

chamcham123 · 2025-07-04T01:21:57+00:00

10 is a score for looks, not compatibility. Focus on compatibility and suitability. Being hot is a nice bonus, but not necessary.

Title	how do i get over fumbling 10s
Author	Aromatic_Strike_9415
Upvotes	64
Comments	64
Date	June 25, 2025 4:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lkaj0e/how_do_i_get_over_fumbling_10s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-over-fumbling-10s.1555546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555546

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