How do I tell the difference between confident and creepy?

sharperguy · 2014-07-19T17:28:39+00:00

I saw a definition that being creepy is when a woman shows you she is uncomfortable with something and you keep doing it anyway.

TheSicilianDude · 2014-07-19T17:15:24+00:00

Mark Manson comments on this and basically says that the big difference between "creepy" and "confident" is how the girl feels about you. In other words, often you can't control it. There are tons of different reasons girls may find you creepy as they all define it differently.

You have to accept that as you get more confident and open about your sexuality, some girls are just going to see you as creepy sometimes, no matter how awesome you are. And that is okay. You can't please everyone. Accepting this truth is very liberating.

But if you want some pointers, a big thing girls complain about when it comes to creepy guys is too much pushiness. If the girl makes it obvious she isn't interested but you keep on talking to her and pushing for something, you WILL come off as creepy. The confident man in that situation would leave and go find other girls to talk to. Also if you come on too strong with your sexual intent too early in the interaction, that will come off as creepy. Show intent, but use good judgment too.

TL;DR - Confident guys will naturally come off as creepy to some girls. Accept it.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2014-07-19T18:36:40+00:00

For me, its all about your frame. Ask yourself how youre feeling. "Am i feeling needy? Am i missing something in my life?" these are signs that you may likely come off creepy. "Am i feeling good; strong and abundant?" this greatly reduces the chance of coming off creepy because you will be thinking clearly and making moves that make sense and dont seem forced.

TonyDAbsolute · 2014-07-19T22:54:39+00:00

First, don't even consider yourself creepy, not for a second. Become as "in the moment" as possible at all times. Remember, whatever you feel, she feels. Any insecurity on your part is transferable.

However there are certain aspects of perception you can easily control. Master your emotional/physical link. Mental anxiety causes physical oddities like facial twitching, hand wringing, stuttering and so forth. Master your mind. Drive your own bus.

LeRick11 · 2014-07-19T17:10:28+00:00

Confidence leaves no room for worrying. If you want to seem confident act confident, worrying about coming off as creepy will mess with your mind. If you want to put your arms around her then go right ahead and do it if she responds negatively tell her that that's just how you are, you're naturally a touchy (feely) kind of person.

shadeia · 2014-07-20T03:43:24+00:00

I went and surveyed all my chick friends and the most consistent answer I received was "It depends on how attractive you are and how well you present yourself whether you are creepy or not".

omarm1984 · 2014-07-19T21:15:49+00:00

Its in the eyes of the woman.

Terakahn · 2014-07-19T23:00:04+00:00

That'll come when you learn to calibrate better. I can say the same thing to 10 women and get wildly different reactions depending on tone, smile, etc. Depending on what kind of person they are.

PowerSeductionWar · 2014-07-20T00:10:07+00:00

It's only creepy once you start doubting yourself.

The last girl I fucked told me i was so weird and so creepy but added on "in a good way" after we got done fucking

pretty sure she liked me though

Denathus · 2014-07-20T01:41:15+00:00

Creepy is a selfish insensitivity to someone else's boundaries. if your overtures and advances bring the right color to a lady's cheeks while still dancing inside the comfort zone, then you're not creepy.

Creepiness is considering only what you want.

Confiance is considering your desires, and her desires, and finding where those two overlap. The active pursuit without fear of failing the attainment of that overlap is where confidence lies, in my opinion. But always that lack of fear of failure has to be tempered with the awareness that failure in this endeavor can be something that causes distress.

canaryflutter · 2014-07-20T14:10:11+00:00

Confidence is saying what most guys are thinking, with charisma, but without sexuality. " that's an amazing dress, who designed it " (that makes her feel fashionable and fancy) creepy is usually sexual and not charismatic "that dress really hugs your ass in the most attractive way possible" that's just fucking creepy...,

gaia_scienzia · 2014-07-20T18:18:10+00:00

Creepiness is forcing something that shouldn't be. Like expressing sexual interest to someone who you barely know at all. You can both 'feel' where the boundary is, and when you consciously overstep that boundary -- perhaps because you have rationalized that 'this is how I get laid'...

As an aside, its also just a general slur term for anything that makes a woman uncomfortable. Women who are sexually uncomfortable will find almost anything creepy. Some women get creeped out by almost any sexual expression whatsoever.

payattentiondamnitt · 2014-07-20T04:51:18+00:00

1) Be attractive. 2) Don't be unattractive.

Title	How do I tell the difference between confident and creepy?
Author	ragta1
Upvotes	25
Comments	22
Date	July 19, 2014 4:34 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2b5393/how_do_i_tell_the_difference_between_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-tell-the-difference-between-confident-and.1373844 https://theredarchive.com/post/1373844

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