How do you deal with the rejection

hunterpua · 2024-10-20T05:55:55+00:00

I've been doing this long enough to where I've been able end up with girls who previously rejected me years prior.

Not through persistence with them or anything like that but just through accidentally approaching them again or coincidentally getting introduced to them by a mutual friend.

There are so many factors outside just you that causes rejection and even if we only consider the 'you factor' it's actually impossible that the problem is you, because you cannot be condensed down into a week or however long you've been talking to a girl.

And even if you've known someone for a year +, they don't necessarily have the full picture of you yet. If you've had siblings growing up or you've observed how your parents are outside vs when they're at home, you'd be aware that they act and present themselves very differently in those 2 scenarios. Even you're different at home than you are when you're out.

Its less you getting rejected and more like whatever you were presenting at the time contributed to you getting rejected.

This may be an unpopular opinion but I believe that you don't even need to improve anything other than how you communicate with women to go from being rejected most of the time to getting intimate most of the time.

They may have a laundry list of things they look for in a guy but that's all logical and they can't think about that in the moment if you're emotionally stimulating enough.

I've slept with many women who were not able to shave, who were wearing panties they'd only wear at home and would hope no guy ever saw (because they weren't planning to have sex with me), and women who didn't even know me and were not even expecting to go on a date, let alone have sex that day (instant date/same day lay) and that's all because, ultimately, they react to how they feel about you, not some sort of robotic checklist.

So really, there's much more reason to improve yourself for yourself. You know, just having more money is sweet, being stronger, having more endurance, feeling awesome physically is just a more enjoyable way to live, and having your mental health under control also improves the quality of your life a lot.

Because let me tell you, with or without those things, you can still screw up up how a woman feels about you.

So really, its less you as a person getting rejected and more just whatever you did at the time that got rejected.

If anyone can consider what I feel when I get rejected as "upset" then it would be upset like, "Aw! I wasn't able to make the high score on this game in my phone!" because that's really how impersonal rejection is.

CriminalLee_Insane · 2024-10-20T03:13:38+00:00

Thats easy, don’t look at it as rejection just see it as life getting rid of the wrong ones and leaving room for the right ones to bump into ..

ZennedGame · 2024-10-20T19:13:49+00:00

Accept yourself regardless of what some random has to say.

Lonely_Computer_2058 · 2024-10-20T03:19:43+00:00

I’m in a similar situation. Been dating for a little while after a couple years long relationship. Something I’ve noticed is that people usually feel good when they talk about themselves. I’m a genuinely curious person so I usually let others talk and ask questions. But when I started dating I would talk more about myself because I was nervous. I noticed that when I spoke more about myself, I seemed to have the perception that a date went well because I had just spoken more. Then I started letting the women do all the talking. Now I notice that they enjoyed the dates because I am getting many next dates, but I seem to enjoy it less because now I can see who they actually are and sense we are not compatible.

This is kind of a half baked idea, but I think that we are likely not compatible with a large percentage of the population. The more you talk, the more the other person realizes this and vice versa. That would explain my results.

I’m not saying this is something you should try though, because why would you want more dates with someone you’re not compatible with?

Maybe just try to make the talking even and report back your results.

Ballislife1313 · 2024-10-20T07:46:20+00:00

Girls are just weird. I know that's not the right answer but sometimes their behavior makes no sense AT ALL. I personally stopped trying to figure them out and I just go with the flow with 0 expectations. It works so much better for me.

bmcapers · 2024-10-20T05:49:25+00:00

Roll with the sting and learn from it. The sting always happens for me, but I learned to not react to it. I’m living life.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-10-20T20:29:09+00:00

You said it yourself you are lacking in communication and dating style. And that might be linked to your mindset and emotional state.

Memnon1 · 2024-10-23T16:35:20+00:00

Respectfully you're putting your focus on the wrong things; outcomes which you have no control of instead of efforts and process which you do control. There are far too many variables in dating through apps to make definitive assessments and doing so is unrealistic and counterproductive.

Give yourself credit for doing what you control in your dating. It is axiomatic the more you focus on outcomes the more frustrating and elusive they become. I recently returned to approaching women. And for the first few weeks I was crashing and burning like a rookie.

I'm blessed to have a posse of men who are experts in dating women most guys only fantazie about. After sharing my concerns they told me to relax and enjoy the process and don't give a fck about outcome. Since then my results have improved significantly. I highly recommend meditation with guided imagery as well.

One of my buds is 50 year old Bobbie De Nero twin who just moved his absolutely stunning 30 year old Brazilian & Japanese fitness model into his condo. I had met both of them for dinner a couple of months ago. He told me his girlfriend teased him on their ride home she should have met me first so he didn't want to hear any more whining from me about my struggles.

Women in general and the 8+ women I choose to focus on in particular are extremely sensitive in picking up on men's mental states. The key is to make your intention/impression known, comment don't compliment. Women are attracted the most to men may want but certainly doesn't need to share a connection with them

dobbs1997 · 2024-10-24T06:07:51+00:00

well why do you assume it’s something about you?? cause honestly it’s inevitable that you’re gonna meet women where it goes nowhere after the first date, everything might seem great on the date and all that but then she goes ghost, that’s supposed to happen, women have lives too so there’s many variables that can contribute to that happening, it is what it is…don’t connect to something you did, I know you may be looking at it from a stance of just trying to improve but it’s not always about you.

Affectionate-Ant4888 · 2024-10-20T05:28:24+00:00

meditation man, breath work, exercise, and installing new believes, get in your brain that there is no scarcity of women, that each rejection or failed fling is just a step towards the most wild experiences with women lol, basically study inner game lol

KoleSekor · 2024-10-20T03:07:37+00:00

SkotchKrispie · 2024-10-20T04:33:14+00:00

I’ve never given a damn about rejection. I’d don’t even in 6th grade or at 17. Approach anxiety on the other hand I have struggled with off and on. Sometimes significantly so.

Dandys3107 · 2024-10-20T11:15:10+00:00

With dating app attractive girls have almost infinite options. She may enjoy getting to know new potential partners, but she probably won't commit to anything else if she has much better options available. Don't take it personally, dating for girls is significantly different. If you want to pursue long term relationship, you need to present values and experience that won't be easily found just few clicks away.

letsbehavingu · 2024-10-20T11:17:30+00:00

The lack of feedback is incredibly frustrating. Ultimately you start to pattern match across a large number of interactions. That’s the only answer. I think journaling might help slightly but I’ve never tried

DryIndependent1 · 2024-10-20T16:24:27+00:00

Pro Tip: Disqualify and reject her before she rejects you.

KoleSekor · 2024-10-20T03:12:03+00:00

So women like you until they meet you in person for the first time? Do dates go well for a while and fizzle or are they clearly unsuccessful pretty quickly?

averageguy694200 · 2024-10-20T05:04:12+00:00

If you’re actually dating multiple women through the apps you should give 0 fucks. Just because if one doesn’t like you there’s another date two days later, so who cares? You have options, that’s why all women about a 5 act the way they do. They have options.

SkotchKrispie · 2024-10-20T04:33:18+00:00

I’ve never given a damn about rejection. I’d don’t even in 6th grade or at 17. Approach anxiety on the other hand I have struggled with off and on. Sometimes significantly so.

Title	How do you deal with the rejection
Author	UDAMAN123
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	October 20, 2024 2:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1g7oxzh/how_do_you_deal_with_the_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-the-rejection.1533518 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533518

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