How do you keep up attraction if there is a long time between dates?

puntingbaxter · 2013-08-27T16:35:25+00:00

You are busy and have other things going on in your life.

That is attractive in itself.

Some of the hottest girls out there are usually crazy busy as well. They have plenty of social options being thrown at them all the time. These woman loathe neediness. Calibrate what type of woman you are dealing with.

Tickler3 · 2013-08-27T17:47:37+00:00

A girl who likes you will remember you, so time apart isn't an issue. Looking pathetic is way worse than taking time between hang outs. I went on a date with a really pretty girl in January and she is still texting me (she lives in a different city)

FeministsLoveMe · 2013-08-27T18:36:56+00:00

FUCK TEXTING

You and her both know you're just texting to keep some kind of validation that things are still cool between you, you can't do much past that with texting.

I'm in the identical situation you are and in my situation, the first date ended with an F-close so that makes things a little strange between date one and whenever date two will be.

CALL HER

I don't text (snapchat I like better) and neither should you because you're so busy. Puntingbaxter is dead on with that being an attraction in itself. I called the girl I went on a date with a couple days ago at 11:30 at night just saying "hey I wanted to talk to you so I called you". She was thrown off at first, but she and I ended up talking for over an hour and she loved it. You get your confidence that she is attracted to you so you don't feel the need to worry about keeping up attraction

Graphitetshirt · 2013-08-27T16:36:45+00:00

If you're bad at texting, you can spin that in a funny, positive way. If she knows youre joking, then really bad flirting can be just as good as really good. For full disclosure, I've always been more of a serial monogamist than a PUA, but in my experience, if you can make her laugh, she's yours.

djm371 · 2013-08-27T16:50:39+00:00

Just make sure to calibrate your energy level when you meet again to be the same or higher than when you left off. The girl will have an image of how fun and exciting you were when you first met and you don't want to break that when you meet again. Pick the meeting place that's appropriate to that energy level as well.

For the time in between, I wouldn't worry about it so much. Girls are busy too. One thing that helps is to plant an idea about something small that's going to happen on the next date. That solidifies the event in their mind. For example: "Oh that reminds me of a really funny story about my best friend, Tim. Remind me to tell you next time we meet!"

whale_snail · 2013-08-27T17:15:45+00:00

Kind of basic, but make sure whatever you have lined up is exciting to her

I'll see you sometime on the weekend = not so good
Next date is something amazing you can do together!!! = good

Mickloven · 2013-08-27T20:57:04+00:00

Call her... Snapchat her occasionally... have her on instagram/facebook/twitter... and always be posting interesting shit so she knows you live a cool life

DukeCanada · 2013-08-27T17:20:42+00:00

Yeah, I'm in the same boat as OP.

First date and second date are about 2 weeks apart, I was out of town for about 10 days so for the most part didn't even text her.

I took the more "thoughtful" route I suppose. I bought her something from the place I went to and I'm keeping what we're doing on the second date a surprise. She still seems interested, so I don't think time between dates is necessarily a bad thing.

faux_7 · 2013-08-27T19:52:30+00:00

I read someone where that if your initial interaction was ok to solid that attraction will be there, a friend always tells me "Out of sight out of mind" so feel free to text her, but don't seem make it look like you have nothing going on.

aerickse · 2013-08-28T05:19:05+00:00

to echo a few comments, a lot of it is calibration. be the busier, more in demand one. understand what she's like and adjust your approach/expectations accordingly. don't be mad if a date won't work for one of you one week, just roll with it. be careful about expressing dismay, etc. because that can come across as needy.

one suggestion is to not even use "text game." in other words: just text for business. i know that's a style some/many of us here subscribe to already, but i've found when i'm pursuing these types or am in a situation like this, it's even more necessary and more effective. sometimes i make it almost robotic texting, or like i'm the executive and they're my secretary. instead of saying "you wanna go out this week?" or "you wanna go out tuesday?" etc., i just say "tuesday night?" or something to the effect of me setting the tone every time. i rarely flirt, only if theres a relevant comment/pic/etc. to text her about a very inside joke we share. hopefully it goes without saying, i'm not saying be emotionless/robotic to all women always. just calibrate the rapport you have. but for me it usually works with busy types, sets the tone that they take you serious. cheers

doubledip10 · 2013-08-27T16:57:58+00:00

I would say get better at text game. Just talk enough so she remembers you, continue to create attraction, and build up your next meeting. She should know you are busy and you will make time for her when it fits in your schedule, you aren't needy but you do desire her. Convey this pepper in some humor and some very subtle sexual innuendo and you should be fine.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-08-27T23:17:42+00:00

I'm looking for help with a similar scenario:

I actually just went on a date with a girl last Friday, and she texted me Saturday saying we should hang out again. I called her Sunday to set something up, but she said she couldn't because she's busy moving into her new apartment, but asked if Monday would work. I said sure, and then tried to set something up again on Monday, but she said she is still busy setting up the apartment and probably won't be available for a few days.

I actually wouldn't mind helping her work on some projects in her apartment (we're both artsy), but would asking her if she needs help be desperate/non-alpha? If so, should I be doing anything or communicating in any way over the next few days to keep the attraction? Or just suck it up and wait until she texts me? My concerns are kind of the same as OPs, so any advice is appreciated!

Degradable · 2013-08-27T20:22:15+00:00

Text once a day. Take some time and think about what you're going to text. I like to poke fun at things they did on the first date. Have a running joke going and make her laugh.

Sometimes I don't even text for 2 days. Then I just send a funny or random picture. Cute dogs or cats work a treat. Reddit always has loads of those.

Title	How do you keep up attraction if there is a long time between dates?
Author	jm4232
Upvotes	101
Comments	37
Date	August 27, 2013 1:52 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1l6qlr/how_do_you_keep_up_attraction_if_there_is_a_long/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-keep-up-attraction-if-there-is-a-long.1357505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1357505

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