Long story short, had terrible confidence as a teenager - very awkward and shy because of bullying, didn’t party during uni (covid messed up the opportunity but also I was timid).

Then I became a completely different person, charming in social settings, easily make friends with people in day time or social settings like hobbies (tennis, dancing).

But tonight I went to one of the biggest areas for clubbing in Spain, day time was fantastic (went with 2 friends), chatting to a few strangers, of course a bit of alcohol, then rested, went out for the night and didn’t even stay in one of the clubs/bars for 30 mins - I was too much in my head and the two other lads were a little down as well for some reason.

There were multiple factors that affected this on the way - not drinking earlier, not really clubbing in the past (wanted to change that), being an overthinker about how I’ll dance, then the dance floor being crammed and just shoving around, shitty experience with one of the bouncers and walking through some sketchy area of the city to get to the bars.

It’s almost as if the old me crept in, and I hated that. I do not want to have this drop in confidence and caring too much what other people will think, which was a big problem. We all kinda made ourselves ‘smaller’ instead of being more out there and prominent, as we usually are, as we are all quite energetic socially and tend to bring each other to a more energetic level, but for some reason this evening was completely screwed.

Any advice for the future? I want to be able to vibe to music and club without a single care in the world, I’m normally absolutely fine with approaching women as well during the day but at night it seems different for me.