How to ask for a FWB?

pk_atheist · 2012-10-10T15:19:31+00:00

Have sex.

Don't commit.

Continue to game.

Don't bring up relationships.

If she asks for a relationship, just say you're not really into relationships at the moment. I use this "I understand if you want to stop seeing me."

Keep your game tight. If you play it right, she'll still seek out your cock.

If not, go to the bar.

Repeat.

Edit: To make sure I'm clear- NEVER ASK FOR A FWB SETUP. It'll trip her slut alarm and she'll never fuck you again.

TheKount · 2012-10-10T15:21:57+00:00

You don't ask for one. You lead the relationship to that. I do it by talking about how I've gone from relationship to relationship in the past and now that I've changed Im dating myself so for a few years. But that doesn't mean I don't like to have fun and enjoy being single. I throw in a little about my goals and dreams, including traveling to see literally the entire world. Then continue as normal and if you have sex don't change the dynamic at all. I make it clear that there is no possibility of an exclusive relationship from the get go and the girls pick up on the rest. You'd be surprised at How many girls are stoked to just bang out with a fun guy. No that's not a typo, I did just say bang out. It's hanging out but you also bang, everyone wins.

puaCurveBall · 2012-10-10T15:21:02+00:00

Don't ask, just make it happen.

Start having sex, and let her know you aren't looking for a committed relationship but still want to have more sex.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-10-10T19:56:42+00:00

Good question. I don't think there's a set rule, but I can tell you what works for me: I don't!

I don't ask for a FWB relationship, in very broad strokes this is what I do:

I befriend someone. This someone has to be a candidate for a FWB type of things: too busy to date, compatible sexually but not philosophically, jaded about the whole dating thing, just coming out from a LTR.....
I make sure that she understand that I am interested in her sexually, the usual kino+flirting escalation
I avoid dating like the plague, but I make social occasions happen with other people, just like friends would do; of course at the end of the event it's just me and her, at my place, or hers, or me giving her a ride or vice-versa
Escalating brings us to be doing some naked aerobic, and with time we continue to do social things together with other people, and doing some naked aerobic.

Friends, enjoying the benefits of being friends, including but not limited to sex.

If she does the shit test talking about other guys, do show interest and at the same time start touching her sexually, best if you have sex with her while she talks to you about her dating issues.

Some don't:

Never mention FWB or Friends With Benefits, not in writing (text/email) nor speaking (face-to-face or phone). Not to her, not to anyone else;
No public display of affection, in public act as only friends
If someone asks in private: say that you don't kiss and tell
If someone asks the both of you: say that it's none of their business (jokingly)
Don't even mention the word "friends".
Never be jealous, you are just friends
Never talk about your dating life or your other FWB.

toxodon · 2012-10-10T17:51:10+00:00

Have you guys hooked up before? It's easier to become FWB after the first hookup -- just follow the advice in this thread. If you haven't done anything sexual with her yet and you want to, just use all the other pickup material you know to seduce her. If she doesn't hook up with you after you've made an advance, you probably wouldn't have been FWB anyway.

Althair · 2012-10-10T19:27:32+00:00

Honesty is your best bet really. Tell her you aren't boyfriend material or that you aren't interested in a committed relationship. Let her know that if she wants a boyfriend then you will gladly encourage that. I've had several FWB chicks who fucked me until they found a bf and then broke it off with me. One of them even came back after things didn't work out with the guy. If a girl knows you're not going to judge and will be a fun guy to be around (especially if you're a decent lay) they will be more than happy to fuck you while working on finding someone else more permanent.

Just be careful about what you say on the topic of relationships after that. Don't let her tell your friends that you two are dating or if she says that she is your girlfriend to her friends you need to shut that down quick. Last thing you want is a crowd of angry women who hate you because of a misunderstanding. Some girls will think that if they say these sort of things long enough it will become true.

Lastly BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF!! If you tell a girl it's fine for her to fuck you until she gets a bf then for the love of all that is good do not get mad when she finds a bf and drops you! Same with a girl who drops you immediately after finding you don't want a relationship. Too many people out there confuse wanting a FWB with wanting a low maintenance gf.

im2rad2b4go10 · 2012-10-10T16:52:21+00:00

In my experience with FWB the girl has made it very easy and obvious that she wants to hook up. From there it's just being cool with the idea of hanging out and hooking up without crossing over into a real relationship.

Hooking up first is the key. The girl will usually already know what she wants.

reddstudent · 2012-10-10T20:21:53+00:00

I had my first FWB this year. I went out on a date with her and had a nice regular date. I typically go over qualifying the girls, telling them about what I'm looking for (qualities, soul mate etc).

When I followed up with her, I let her know that I really enjoyed myself and loved her personality and how beautiful she was. She was great company. While I didn't feel that soul mate connection, that I thought she was fun and beautiful and we should keep hanging out.

Hung out with her at her place, escalated, f-close and did so together for months before she started getting attached. I proactively told her that again, I still felt we were mainly FWB material and I hadn't grown soulmate feelings for her and stopped it before allowing her to be hurt emotionally.

2012-10-10T20:41:51+00:00

Simple.

Have sex with them. Text them the next day to see how theyre days going.. dont mention the sex.

Few days later just say, "come over tm night" or "come over on tuesday".

After you sex her.. provided you cuddled a bit, texted her the next day and gave her good dick, she'll be down for more.

n1cey · 2012-10-10T23:33:12+00:00

I tell that I just got out of a serious relationship and I'm looking for a autumflirt

ffcsin · 2012-10-11T17:46:40+00:00

When I was single I use to ask girls if they wanted to come over and watch a movie. I didn't own a tv. After the first time, they knew what was up when I invited them over for movies. One girl even brought a DVD over one time as a joke.

ReneG8 · 2012-10-11T01:26:57+00:00

I have a FWB situation.

I never mention it, but when we meet and we are alone, stuff happens. When we meet with other people we hug and have fun, but thats it. No Gf/Bf stuff.

This is all in context to us being in a dance community. Girls are everywhere.

I have asked her twice, due to her behaving out of the norm, if she is ok with our arrangement (I flirted with other girls, or due to me being surrounded by girls all the time). We never made an arrangement. But I said I don't want to hurt her, if she is invested too much we will stop this altogether. She said her behavior was caused by other stuff and that she is more than fine with what we do.

We have since then met twice, so all is well. At least for me it is. I have been upfront, never lied to her and never treated her badly.

[edit] how this came to be? We talked. She was emotional, I was supportive. We had sex. She said before she admired my attitude towards sex and dating (me being single and all). After that we met in a social context (dancing). We hugged, not more. I asked if everything was ok. She as fine with it. I asked if she had time, just us two, some time in the near future. We met again, had sex again and that is the status quo. We never talked about it.

Rareturd · 2012-10-11T02:28:23+00:00

I had my first fwb but fucked it up by wondering if we could anything more. So beta, sex was lousy, but sex none the less.

ragingxboxfanboy · 2012-10-11T04:47:42+00:00

"I think we should just be friends... With benefits."

MorphDusseldorph · 2012-10-10T17:40:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to ask for a FWB?
Author	Joker_Robinson
Upvotes	75
Comments	54
Date	October 10, 2012 3:04 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1195xu/how_to_ask_for_a_fwb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-ask-for-a-fwb.1340933 https://theredarchive.com/post/1340933

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