I’m Boring On First Dates. How Do I Fix It?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-25T13:59:24+00:00

If your conversations go like this, you are doing it wrong:

She: “So what do you do for a living?
You: I’m a journalist working at the Herald News and you?
She: I’m a nurse working at Santa Monica hospital
You: Oh cool you like it?
She: Yeah, it’s fun
You: Nice, is it close to your hometown i imagine?
She: Not exactly, i grew up in Candem town which is kinda far from here.
You: Oh, yeah, i visited that place once, they have some nice food in there
She: Oh yeah, definitely, that’s one of the best things, but i had to leave cuz i don’t like staying in one place
You: Oh so you like travelling a lot dont you?
She: Oh yeah, i went to japan recently”
You: Oh i wanna go there, did you like it?”
She: Yes it’s very different from here
You: Oh i bet

If this is more or less how your conversations go with girls, then this is the problem. It’s all logical, predictable, dull, forgettable, conversations that do not trigger any emotions, any sexual tension, or anything…

And if she doesn’t feel turned on or emotionally invested in any way with you, then the conversation isn’t really seductive and it was a waste of time.

So, below is how you could improve this same conversation by spicing things up.

Let’s put an example:

She: What do you do for a living?
You: I sell pictures of my feet to gay men in onlyfans.
She: hahahahaha, no way, you for real?
You: I am indeed
She: Wow, that was so unexpected. Does it pay well?
You: Nah, i’m just fucking around with you, i’m actually a journalist.
She: Omg, you are such an ass, i actually believed you for one sec.
You: Haha, couldn’t resist, just wanted to see how innocent you are.
She: Asshole 🤣
You: So what about you, what do you do?
She: I am a nurse at Santa Monica Hospital
You: If i ever get sent there, i’m gonna sue the hospital if I don’t get you as my nurse
She: Haha, is that so?
You: “Yeah, i only trust innocent pretty nurses with my life”
She: Sure, sure… I bet you say that to all the pretty nurses.
You: Well, as long as they make me feel the way you do, then yes.
She: Oh yeah? And how do I make you feel exactly?
You: Well when you smile at me like that, i feel like my heart is gonna explode, and it’s your fault for being so cute.
She: Hahaha, you are making me blush.
You: We barely know each other and you are already blushing. Girl we’ve got some chemistry”

More or less this is how you can make it more flirty, more fun, and more unpredictable by answering absurd things to her questions.

Paltenburg · 2022-03-25T15:15:46+00:00

Do you have regular meetings with friends 1-on-1 that are fun for both of you? Make it exactly like that.

Elegant_Weasel · 2022-03-25T21:10:01+00:00

Goddamn there's some shit advice in this thread. Don't ditch that girl. I'd really appreciate it if someone let me know I was doing something that would hinder my dating life. sounds like she was actually trying to help.

girls want emotions. teasing, joking, flirting, fun stories, etc... strictly logical conversation is the enemy when it comes to socializing in general, but that goes double on dates.

you don't have to be some kind of comedian or performance monkey, though. just don't be afraid to express your honest feelings about things. your purpose atm, your hobbies, things you think are hilarious.

also, don't just ask questions. if you want to talk about movies, "I bet you're into horror movies" is way better than "what kind of movies do you like?" in other words, just start talking about the things you're interested in, then let her contribute.

justbrowsing7 · 2022-03-25T16:29:43+00:00

I think being a good conversationalist takes practice. It shouldn't feel like an interview, so try to mix in some statements rather than just asking questions.

Don't be afraid to tease the girl (I don't necessarily mean in a sexual way). Especially listen to what she says and bring it up later in the night.

Work on storytelling too. It's best if your story is somewhat relevant to the topic you're discussing. And you can cut out irrelevant details so your story is on topic and the right length.

When joking I think it works for me to be a little be cocky and try to avoid anything self-deprecating.

bonix · 2022-03-25T13:49:59+00:00

Do you have passions or hobbies? A job? School? Don't worry about what she's into, you can find that out on a date. But it she asks you questions you should have answers with weight behind them. "I really like movies" vs "I really enjoy movies, specifically this director or that director. Have you ever seen this movie?" See how one is boring and one actually is a conversation?

cass2769 · 2022-03-26T01:01:43+00:00

First of all, if she was texting DURING your date then she is part of why it was boring…bc you can’t be fully in a convo if you’re being judged and texting your friends.

I think short first dates are the best. Grab a coffee or something quick. It’s also nice sometimes to get out and do something. You want to be able to talk but doing something a little more active can be fun. Even just a walk around a park.

Next is to find out a little about someone before you meet them but not too much. Don’t follow them on social media or text for weeks and months before getting together. Bc if you do that then you know too much about them and it’s harder to ask questions.

Ask questions. Maybe even think of a few in advance. And go beyond surface level. Ask why she does for work…then ask how she got interested in that and what her career goals are.

What is it that you are passionate about? Maybe you’re not into pop culture but I’m sure there are things you are really into. Don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable and share what you are passionate about.

Talk about the future. Where do you want to travel? What goals do you have for your life? Ask her similar questions.

bellberga · 2022-03-26T01:06:05+00:00

On the last date I went on with a woman, she said “let’s play a game. I’m going to assume a hobby of yours and you tell me if it’s true or not. And then you assume for me”. It spurred some conversation for a while and we got to know each other!

TwoTomatoMe · 2022-03-26T01:47:02+00:00

Learn to relax and be funny.

cobraCL · 2022-03-25T17:15:57+00:00

Just putting it out there that the girl you were seeing was a fucking bitch honestly. I'd be willing to take a bet you're not boring at all - maybe boring to people who are clearly a bit superficial and quite nasty.

Please don't internalize the crap she said because it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Also embrace you are are. I'm personally rather introverted and like you, I don't have wild stories to tell, lots of friends, I don't go to parties or know anything about popular media. But, I have a very rich inner world and love talking about ideas and special interests for hours on end.

It's all about meeting people who connect with you and what you're into. Many people won't get you, and will even express pity towards you (I've been there myself!) but your match will find your mind fascinating.

Bets of luck.

tlthang · 2022-03-26T00:37:41+00:00

Liquor up and let the liquor do all the courage

SIV221 · 2022-03-25T14:35:19+00:00

Instead of making assumptions, what are the things you say? What are the topics talked about? Tell us what you have been saying on these dates and we can go from there

l_wear-fedoras · 2022-03-25T14:51:16+00:00

Bro demote that girl now. She belongs to the streets.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-25T14:13:06+00:00

You don't want to be interesting. You really don't. It involves work, effort, socializing a lot even when you don't want to, going out, learning new things, talking to people, etc. it's much easier to have zero interests and pay zero attention to what's going on.

So you have to figure out which of these two is stronger. Are you horny enough to go out and become more social and interesting or are you risk averse enough that you want to stay in your little box.

2022-03-26T06:06:33+00:00

Are you really boring around your friends? If not, be like that. If so, you need social experience. You just need to remove the filter, and talk about something you want to talk about. That will help you relax, get you in a good mood, and you won't be so anxious and trying to impress so much. The key here is self-amusement, curiosity, and empathy.

Title	I’m Boring On First Dates. How Do I Fix It?
Author	shittyfuckdick
Upvotes	24
Comments	32
Date	March 25, 2022 1:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tnlzbm/im_boring_on_first_dates_how_do_i_fix_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-boring-on-first-dates-how-do-i-fix-it.1263727 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263727

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