I’m not a tough guy. I’m not a tall built dude that men are scared of, who women lust over. I’m not a badass with a Hellcat or a truck or a motorcycle. I don’t dominate conversations, I’m not often the center of attention. I’m usually not the most popular guy wherever I go, and I’m not quick to anger or become violent fast, and I’m the last guy to start a fight over disrespect. Death before Dishonor is not in my vocabulary. I love life lots and I’m unwilling to lose it.

I’m a soft guy. I’m slim and athletic, but no one would guess it because I’m not very big. I drive a Toyota (fucking love my car, great on gas). My body language can be effeminate at times. I include everyone around me in conversation. I always give EVERYONE an opportunity to be heard out. I flirt with everyone. I’m very touchy, I love rubbing backs, brushing arms, wrapping arms around seats, holding hands, hugs, etc. I hold eye contact very well, I compliment people when they deserve it, I’m a good listener, I smile often and overall people think I’m pretty charming. What people often don’t think about me is that I’m a push over or that I love beautiful women or sex or sex with beautiful women.

I am very unashamed of and secure in my flirty, people loving personality, but people tend to assume I’m a nice guy or that I’m gay, and they’re always surprised when they learn that they’re mistaken and I’m neither.

People are surprised to learn that slight digs or overt disrespect will not be tolerated with me, A snarky comment or a blatant name call will be addressed immediately, and commanding respect will always be one of my priorities. On a funnier note, people are surprised when I can yell (??) and they always find it hilarious when they discover I swear (?????) a lot.

Girls are always taken aback when I disagree with and tease them and even more so when I tell them I don’t care what they have to say (eg “I don’t want to talk about your girl gossip with you right now, let’s talk about something else.)

Girls are surprised when we can have a deep conversation that makes them feel heard, makes them feel seen. Conversations that makes them feel special. Girls are surprised when I hit on them and they’re surprised when it starts to work and even more surprised when we go to bed together and they’re very happy with how it all went and would like to do it again.

I am not ashamed of being soft and effeminate. I truly believe accepting it and leaning into it is what makes me most confident. I don’t have to act out of pride or ego to assert my masculinity.

I feel I’ve struck good balance like most people should and I’m doing well for myself with it.

Are any other guys not the typical masculine stereotype and more on the effeminate side? Does anyone else here with previous gay accusations clean up well with the ladies? Do you think you’re ever missing out on life experiences and dates by not being super macho? Do you ever wish you were more masculine?