Is being direct always a good thing?

bayow · 2014-12-03T18:20:53+00:00

No. It's always a good thing, you just fucked up by waiting several months and then asking her out over text, that's basically the opposite of being direct. Pick yourself up and try again man. Next time call her or ask in person, and don't give her time for her interest in you to fade.

Into_the_groove · 2014-12-03T18:56:54+00:00

I think you missed the point of being direct. I think a big part of being direct is being able to say your feelings to her face. Another thing I think a big part of seduction that is missed with being direct is the vulnerability aspect of it. Being direct with a girl as you say you're feelings toward her is exposing yourself to her. You may experience rejection, but to some girls if you aren't willing to do that, they aren't interested in you. Any method of communication about interest/intent towards love other than face to face is pretty cold in my opinion.

My gut feeling is that she didn't really like being asked out through a text message. Maybe a little face to face chat will fix the situation. Good luck

DaygameCoach · 2014-12-03T19:24:40+00:00

No, be direct. It will weed out women who aren't really interested and/or available. Try reading a book called Mode 1 by Allen Roger Curie.

nigroknight · 2014-12-03T20:36:18+00:00

This is simply a lack of understanding of women. Why send a text that's so serious? That sounded like an ultimatum. Put yourself in her shoes: How could she have responded without changing the relationship between the two of you? You should have been more playful when you asked her out. More fun.

And fuck these direct only guys. They're not getting results. Both direct and indirect should be learned and practiced.

Masonjarteadrinker2 · 2014-12-03T18:27:42+00:00

Well you were basically friend zoned already and took your sweet time to ask her out, if you would have been upfront about it at the beginning this probably wouldn't have happened.

Iloveyou-Iknow · 2014-12-03T19:31:47+00:00

Being direct when approaching: YES , indirect methods reduce risk of rejection and save your ego, but girls "get" why you approach when you approach them. As Chris Rock would say "Hey here is a story that happened today, by the way would you like some dick?"

What you did was not very clever. You handed her your balls: "here's my balls, do what you want with them" You blew it and you are the only one to blame :) But.. sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. Now you have learned never to confess your love to a girl who isn't already planning to marry you. Even then, it should be just like my nickname :

I love you
I know.. :)

godiebiel · 2014-12-03T19:42:40+00:00

Yes, but don't forget confidence and ability for self-deprication (while maintaining high-value ALWAYS),

alex0919 · 2014-12-03T19:14:53+00:00

Being direct is one of the best things you can do, it lets her know you're a man who knows what he wants, and it's very high status. You aren't a low status individual who tends to beat around the bush, and stall, are you?

Most people, when being direct is done adroitly, tend to appreciate it and respond to it very well.

Go get the next one, I promise it won't be that long before you see a cute girl.

ohircyou3 · 2014-12-03T20:56:36+00:00

Thanks for this thread OP. Next time a girl says to me "we should've been friends first" I'm going to come back to this thread and remind myself how stupid that remark was.

forcedalpha · 2014-12-03T21:11:11+00:00

Yah I sort of did the same thing you did. You have to escalate physically fast rather than ask her out on a date through text. You kind of missed your chance. However cut contact for awhile then come back later and escalate

midnightyeti · 2014-12-03T21:59:45+00:00

I think it depends on all kinds on things. Some girls like it when you are direct, others might get scared off to begin with. You said the right thing, it's better to be honest with them than to appear all wishy washy. However I don't think there was any need of you to say "Ill be blunt here", the rest was good though, very confident, solid, and the next girl you meet it may work on.

lofiharvest · 2014-12-03T22:34:27+00:00

You did good by being direct. In person is typically preferred but you polarized the situation and now you can move your pursuits onto someone else. Don't be one of those 'nice guys' that hover around a girl pretending to just like her as a friend hoping for the moment 'when her eyes open' and she'll see how you are actually BF material.

thatkidanthony · 2014-12-04T02:15:25+00:00

Am I wrong to think that asking someone to go out over text isn't bad if it's more convienint that way? Why make it into this big thing that can only be done face to face. If she's wasn't into you she still would've said no in person right?

lItsAutomaticl · 2014-12-04T07:39:14+00:00

I don't think you made a bad choice in what to do. She probably liked your validation but wasn't really into you enough to take it any further.

Get_Them_Now · 2014-12-03T19:52:36+00:00

Bottom line: there are girls who will reject your direct game that would have eventually fucked you had you gone indirect. But not the other way around.

http://www.rooshv.com/direct-game-vs-indirect-game

Bruno91 · 2014-12-04T00:35:41+00:00

Always take advice with a grain of salt. Here are my two penny's.

Being direct in a reasonable amount of time works out great because you don't end up spending a large amount of time pursuing a potential girlfriend for weeks only to find out that they only like you as a friend, which seems to be what happened here.

Now that you know where she stands you can either cut contact and move on to the next one or be a friend to her but only keep it at that nothing more. Don't be a friend with the hope of one day having her look at you romantically. It's dishonest and just sad. I've been there and done that trust me.

Anyways good luck!

RenegadeMuso · 2014-12-04T10:59:39+00:00

Well, perhaps you misread what the book is trying to achieve.

Firstly, trying being blunt with new women you meet. Being blunt is great to not get in the dreaded "friendzone". Seems to me like you were a friend to this chick, and blunt in this scenario didnt work for you. But, on the bright side, being blunt here atleast gives you an indication of where you stand with her.

SheepKing · 2014-12-03T20:59:43+00:00

models gets you quality women, not quantity, it is for an healty love live, it is far from being good for PUA's

Title	Is being direct always a good thing?
Author	bayow
Upvotes	59
Comments	64
Date	December 3, 2014 5:58 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2o68vb/is_being_direct_always_a_good_thing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-being-direct-always-a-good-thing.1380457 https://theredarchive.com/post/1380457

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