Is irl game as hard as dating apps?

CharacterStrategy598 · 2026-02-13T21:52:36+00:00

With either one you have to learn game.

The problem with apps is they don't give you a chance to even say a word.

In real life you can at least have a chance to say something and take it from there.

Klutzy-Painting885 · 2026-02-13T22:00:38+00:00

It’s much easier imo.

Available-Note-9652 · 2026-02-13T22:26:35+00:00

You’re number one goal should be getting past approach anxiety and being able to talk to the girls you want to talk to. Irl game is much easier. There’s girls that never go on a dating app you will approach. You’re competing with an entirely different group of guys so it’s easier to stand out. Accomplishing this goal will set you up for all kinds of success in life.

MalandiBastos · 2026-02-14T02:57:07+00:00

Honestly IRL dating, at least cold approaching is harder.

Getting a girls number is about the same as matching on a dating app, aka not a very useful indicator at all.

Just my personal experience

DrBarackPendergrass · 2026-02-13T21:42:47+00:00

You have to be Grounded Within Yourself before you can be “romantically successful” with anyone else. Regardless, can you screenshot a few pages from your dating profile or at least show us a few excerpts from your bio?

Hungry-Forever4108 · 2026-02-14T18:20:23+00:00

To me online is super hard mode, irl is easy. I’m also from the 80s and not a iPad retard so idk

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-02-13T22:56:59+00:00

It depends.

But i ahve found that dating apps is way worse than IRL.

Dating apps you are going through hundreds of women in less than an hour. So eveyr rejection you really do feel that.

IRL - you probably talk to 10 women a nightat a club or bar. Sure it sucks to get rejected if yyiou go 0/10 but it's not near the amount you get with the apps.

Also look at it from the woman's perspective. For a woman, they fear going out with the wrong guy because that could lead to a dangerous situation. So to them there's still a stigma about dating apps. SO they are careful with their swipes where man are not. We swipe on everybody. Women are going to risk going out with a creep if he's not a 10. And most guys arent 10s.

IRL, a woman gets a feel for your vibe withint he first few minutes. They can tell if your a creep or not. They can tell ifyour social or not. THey can tell if your fun or not. Women value someone who can show them a good time over looks.

I would highly advise you to go out to bars/clubs and approach. make mistakes, learn from them, etc. Trust me post-college will not be as easy as now. Even if you strike out, this is the time for you to learn if not and you keep waiting you will be 30 and one of those guys who just stares at women dancing.

If I were you id do this, learn how to talk to new people and strangers in every situation. You are in class and see a guy wearing a shirt you like, complement him on it. Talk to him, create that connection. Get the guy's number if you think he's cool. Do that to every person (guy or girl) you see and want to strike up a conversation. The point is getting comfortable talking to strangers. Then on wednesday or thursday text a bunch of people like "hey going out to the bars this weekend whose down?" see who comes. Because in life, nobody wants to organzie but everybody wants to be invited. So become the organzier, in turn you will have more fun. Plus it creates more opporutnity for you to meet people, the more people ou meet the more chances at talking to girls you get. Even more, if you have a weekend wher eyou have nothing going on, you might get an invite to a really good party because others will think, "i love how OP invites us all the time, let's invite him to our party as a thanks".

I've never tried approaching irl since I never really get the chance to. I also obviously have some approach anxiety too.

This to me is an excuse, i get it i made similar excuses. You havent approaching because of the anxiety around it. Not because you havent "had a chance to". I used to make the same excuses. See a cute girl, "oh she's with ehr firneds" or "oh she clearly doesnt want to be bothered", etc. You got to get past those excuses and just do it. Even if you strike out that's more upside than not doing anything. Again it's not about getting the girl, it's about getting comfortable with approaching.

Now the important part is this, you need to get to the point where you go out and not care about gettin glaid. Because when you go out with that mindset your genuine self comes out. You wont be forcing the conversation or walking on eggshells to keep the girl happy. The biggest issue us guys do is we go out and avoid trying to piss off the woman. That is not genuine and they will see right through that. When you can talk to a woman and no tcare what she thinks about you, your genuine self comes out, you will be more relaxed more fun and she will want to be around that energy.

Women go out for fun, men go out to get laid. So the problem men have is that we try to force the conversation to a place where we can get laid. Instead enjoy the moment, enjoy the conversation. It's a transaction, you have to give the woman a fun night if you even want a chance to get laid. im not syaing it will definetely happen, but the odds do increase.

LimpRepeat5758 · 2026-02-13T22:17:27+00:00

dating apps can be a real self worth killer. its all a little fake, a lil too much anyway. irl is better imo bcos u can actually show up and present urself how u want to. dont believe ur not attractive enough, that lowers ur self worth even more man!!

rly recommend a social group tho. doesnt matter what ur into theres probably a group for it and that group likely will go out for a night.

for socials, having photos of what u enjoy / get up to with maybe one good selfie is good. women cant tell much off face alone on socials lol.

Disastrous_Affect742 · 2026-02-13T23:59:59+00:00

Way easier as my presence isnt felt on the phone. In person women can see that I have listening skills , humor , and non needy energy. It's still a numbers game and if I have to guess I would say like 1/28 times I find a woman on a night out I vibe with and I get laid or some action. I'm gonna try my more day game as I've been interested in it latley

The-Cyberpunk · 2026-02-14T03:59:13+00:00

By statistics alone, I've gotten at least 6x more numbers from IRL than apps despite having lots of matches. I'm no expert on how the ladies think but I'm pretty sure they would prefer in person to apps.

MrTerno · 2026-02-13T23:07:59+00:00

I’d say irl is easier because the entry barrier is higher, not every guy has the confidence and the competency to talk to a woman in an attractive way so that limits the amount of competition but on the other hand on dating apps any bum can create a profile and swipe right.

Browseathon · 2026-02-14T00:01:23+00:00

I approach a lot of girls in real life but I’ve gotten better results on dating apps in the past year

destroyeraf · 2026-02-14T10:24:40+00:00

I have personally found irl to be quite difficult. It’s one thing to naturally talk to a girl through a friend or social situation—that’s fine. But the random approaching chicks going about there day… I’ve only been able to stomach doing it a few times and it never worked. In fact, even when I got their number, they didn’t respond to my text. It honestly feels very cringe. I’ve also went for it at bars with mostly similar results.

Dating apps, on the other hand, are super easy and takes a lot of the guesswork out. It’s unfortunate that they are so ubiquitous, but really seems to be the best option.

nordik1 · 2026-02-14T17:18:39+00:00

if we are talking about cold approach, irl is harder

if it’s social circle or a place you have status, its easier but then the problem becomes is there enough volume

for online your profile has to be really dialed in and/or you are very exceptional in one way or another, like height or looks

from there, the messaging game is about opening with something that catches her attention and moving things along fairly quickly off the app

you’ve mentioned wanting the “really attractive women” but that inherently tells me your profile probably isn’t as good as it could be, or that you might have looksmaxxing weak points that need addressing

EmployedExBoyfriend · 2026-02-14T19:45:02+00:00

Your first mistake is ranking people on appearance, which is the primary issue with dating apps but also with dating in general. I understand that physical attraction is necessary, but what you consider a 7, for example, may be a 10 when you see them in person and observe their personal nuances, mannerisms and characteristics— because it isn’t just about a “look.” It’s about everything specific to that person that creates a chemical taste or distaste. Anybody can make themselves look desirable in a photo, but that doesn’t mean they ARE desirable.

The one person I fell hardest for in life is not (classically) beautiful— and I ironically met her on a dating app. I’m not classically masculine or sexy. I have the complex of a Hobbit and my nice face/good hair is what i get by with, at first glance. When i met her in person, saw the way she moved, flipped her hair, used her hands, etc, I became infatuated and fell deeply in love when i realized how perfect we were together. Regarding me, it was the same deal for her. 4 years later, we have a daughter together and she’s PERFECT— because she’s the best of the two of us combined.

You said you’re a college student, so i imagine you’re on the younger side. Take my advice: There is a hell of a lot more to gain when you start looking at the bigger picture and stop being shallow. It isn’t your fault. You were just programmed to focus on the wrong things. But you should lower your expectations and I guarantee you that you will succeed far better than you are now.

WebNew9978 · 2026-02-15T00:27:30+00:00

Way harder (at least for me)

ExcitableSarcasm · 2026-02-18T00:01:02+00:00

It's much easier imo.

I've not really been actively looking, but of my last few relationships, only 1 came from apps. The other came from irl just chatting to strangers/etc

Title	Is irl game as hard as dating apps?
Author	Usual-Bug916
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	February 13, 2026 9:27 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r41p51/is_irl_game_as_hard_as_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-irl-game-as-hard-as-dating-apps.1573419 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573419

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