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[–]MrDownhillRacer 172 points173 points174 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
This whole "be aloof and pretend not to be interested in them" only works if you're attractive enough in the first place that they will notice and care that you are not into them. So many sets where I've directed my attention primarily to the girls I'm less interested in, and the one I actually was interested in didn't give a rat's ass or even just walked away.
It's less about pretending not to be interested or even to dislike them, and more about not being so overwhelmingly interested that it's off-putting, desperate, and creepy. Women aren't idiots. If you go out of your way to chat to her, she'll know you did it because you're attracted to her. If you go out of your way to talk to her just to pretend not to be interested, she'll know you're just trying hard to play cool, because otherwise, why did you even start talking to her?
Showing interest is fine. You might say it "gives away power," but is desperately worrying about how powerful one comes across something that secure, powerful people actually do? No; powerful people don't worry about letting other people feel powerful every now and then.
[–]70sgoddess 36 points37 points38 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I've never been a dater. I just got out of a 20 yr marriage, and I married young. Whatever happened to the mystique of coming across an honest, open book? To me that's far more alluring than this mental hopscotch. If a man finds me attractive, I'm going to appreciate that. Even if it's not mutual. Is this how dating is now?! You save so much time and effort just being up front.
[–]MrDownhillRacer 30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think in the beginning stages of courting, whether we like it or not, there is a bit of a "game" to be played. Not showing all one's cards, managing the impressions one presents, appearing to not be too needy, giving them some of that "will they, won't they." It's not that I dismiss the whole "cat and ball of yarn" theory, it's just that I think it's crazy for people to go overboard with it to the point where they are in their heads about it, make everything out to be some Machiavellian power move, and can't just be people making a connection. This will only give you more anxiety about interacting with people, and if you do it too much, potential partners may even see you as too inconsistent and mercurial to risk investing in.
It also becomes less important the more acquainted and invested the two people get. You can become more comfortable and vulnerable and honest as time goes on, so it's not like your entire relationship has to be based on projecting a cool image. It's just that doing this at first gets your foot in the door, where you would otherwise not even be given the time of day.
But even then, it's good never to become too comfortable, to feel like you've already attracted the other person, so that you don't need to project value anymore. This is what causes the other person to take you for granted. I think to maintain somebody's interest and attraction, you still have to be capable of surprising them on some level and having a couple of those butterflies in their stomachs to flutter from time to time so that they remember that giddiness of when they first met you.
I guess, in summary, everything is complicated and people don't really make sense.
[–]ferndchamp 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How would you surprise her? I suk at surprise s
[–]RaptorMan333 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's just...not attractive. Girls say they want direct and honest and nice but they play all kinds of games and reject the guys that pursue them too nicely and too directly in favor of the guys that they feel like they can't get. Of course you're going to "appreciate" a guy that compliments you and let it boost your ego, but are you going to go home with him? If a girl comes up to me and says i'm cute and that we should go on a date - sure, on one level I ENJOY that. It gives me an ego boost. But on another i start to wonder if a girl of very high value would do that, if she is on my level, and quite frankly i start wonder what is wrong with this girl or start to question if she is all that desirable. What girls say they are attracted to and respond to are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what they actually respond to. Listen to actions, not words.
Are you going to sit awake at night and desire a nice guy that comes forward and lays his feelings all on the table and responds to you constantly and communicates his interest immediately? Or are you going to sit there and desire someone who you think you might not be able to get, someone you don't know everything about and who seems little hesitant, someone you have to chase a bit, a guy who might be higher value than you or have better options than you or better things to do than constantly respond to you and give you everything?
Girls want some mystery and they want someone who is confident and acts with intention, but has a high enough value to not demonstrate all his interest and put all his cards on the table. Girls want someone that they can pursue a bit.
[–]ShayaVosh 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, honestly these mind games with dating are totally fucked up. But nobody cares enough to have an honest discussion about how fucked up these dynamics are. It’s dehumanizing and cruel. It reduces men to their looks an their earning potential and reduces women to even less then that.
[–]SandtheB 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have been laser focusing on pick up for the last 6 months or so and I agree that being direct and honest can be very powerful and refreshing for a lot of women.. mainly women over 30 or so and more specifically single mothers.
I think that this happens because they get hit on less since (for women) getting older equals fewer guys approach them and being a single mother means fewer men are going to want to deal with a "pre-started" family, so when a good looking guy comes up and says all sorts of flirty things, it's very flattering, since it doesn't happen very much anymore.
The older a woman gets the fewer number of men that want to get to know her. With each year that passes the quality/quantity of the approaches is lower then the last year. To put it another way, "When Julie and her friends went to Italy in their twenties, they were angry at the men when they pinched their butts. When Julie and her friends went back to Italy in their forties, they were angry that the men didn't pinch their butts." However, for Men it's the opposite the older and wiser men get, (as long as you are healthy and dress well) the better it is for men and the MORE number of women that want to get to know him. I don't think it's fair, but I also don't think that the entitlement and abusive nature of many women in their early twenties is fair. Unfortunately it's the system we have, and I don't think that it will change anytime soon, so many people just have to put up with it, both men and women.
However when it comes to approaching these girls who are in their twenties, that get hit on all the time, going direct can be too over whelming, so you have to act differently, you have to be more subtle and lighter and flirt more like a couple in a high school romcom and banter more. If done right she will want to get to know you more.
[–]70sgoddess 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Interesting. I've never viewed it that way, I guess since I fall into neither category ( not a mother/ frequency is greater). I think its moreso a reflection of how the age of the internet has changed social behavior. Anthropologically speaking, the internet has caused communication to take a huge step back. Also, girls in their twenties now, are very cookie cutter. In the 90s natural beauty was everywhere and no one ( either sex) played head games even with getting hit on multiple times a day. I'm definitely getting a kick out of my observations of when I get hit on at the gas station, vs hit on online.
[–]SandtheB 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am 24 RN, and right now one of my goals is to better understand 19 year old girls. Some background, I have never understood people, and have always struggled to understand people. So when it comes to 19 year old girls, especially the college aged ones, (which I didn't even understand when I WAS 19, we grew up very differently) I REALLY don't understand them. One thing I noticed is that, even when I was 10, and doing things on the college campus, is that they walk and talk the same and are clones of each other, It doesn't seem like that has changed.
I just really want a sweet girlfriend that I can have sex with everyday... it's hard when you can't understand where people are coming from.
[–]Barabbas- 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Whatever happened to the mystique of coming across an honest, open book?
What do you mean "mystique"? A person who broadcasts each and every one of their intentions is not mysterious. Mystery implies not knowing; which, I might add, is entirely different from deception.... I guess what I'm trying to say is seduction and honesty are not necessarily contradictory.
Robert Greene's books are like manuals on what makes people tick, but they are agnostic when it comes to the ways in which one chooses to apply that knowledge. You can use it to mess with people's minds, or you can use it to improve yourself by understanding how your actions affect those around you and intentionally crafting those actions in response.
[–]70sgoddess 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The mystique was in actually finding the all too elusive, open and honest person. Not in the free and willing conversation.
[–]RaptorMan333 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I disagree completely. Indirect game is pretty much built from the ground up FOR guys that are not conventionally attractive to game solid 10's. Not that physical attractiveness means much for guys, but if you're lower on that scale and shes high value (aka HOT), indirect becomes a very powerful alternative. For example, opening a girl at the bar over the shoulder with an off-hand remark that seems almost disinterested while other guys are directly approaching, communicating their interest bluntly, and complimenting her and getting blown out back to hell. If we're talking indirect and Mystery stuff, we're usually also talking negs at this point too, which further separate you from the chodes that would never say something like that. Walking up and showing interest is what every other lame guy who wants to get in her pants tries to do, but you're the exception that just happens to be chilling there, and just opening her under the radar with something that doesn't immediately telegraph that you think she's hot spikes her interest and makes her curious. At that point you can proceed however you want. Generally the "hotter" you are as a guy, the more that direct will become a viable option consistently.
You're not supposed to blatantly ignore them for the whole entire set or pretend to dislike them. If it's to the point where the target is walking away, then you're not doing enough to engage the entire group, being social enough, and you ARE ignoring the target too much or for too long. Indirect can work perfectly well if you're doing it right. I'm confused, so are you opening the target or are you opening her friends? Because you claim that opening her then ignoring her is bad, but that's not even what traditional indirect game like Mystery stuff teaches. It teaches to open her friends, appeal to the group, and then shift your attention to her when she starts giving IOIs or vying for your attention. Every other guy is approaching her directly and telegraphing interest, meanwhile, you are being social and fun and demonstrating value to her social group, winning over her friends, and letting her demonstrate interest and THEN you shift gears and move forward with intention. The point of indirect game opening is JUST to get past a certain point and hook the group and make them want you to stay, and then get her to demonstrate interest to you, at which point you can be as direct as you want and even convey your interest to her, and then isolate which shows plenty of intent. If she's walking away from your sets, you're either not showing value/fun to the group and hooking them enough and/or not shifting to her and isolating her quickly enough once she shows interest. In my experience, girls don't simply walk away from their groups of close friends unless they're bored. Especially not when there's an entertaining, attractive and social guy that is leading the interaction.
For example, a way to shift attention to the girl you want is the classic "i've been ignoring your friend a bit - do you mind if i take her right over there for a minute?" after you've entertained the group, demonstrated value to not only the group but the target, and negged your target if she interrupts or gotten her to convey interest to you.
[–]MrDownhillRacer 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're not supposed to blatantly ignore them for the whole entire set or pretend to dislike them. If it's to the point where the target is walking away, then you're not doing enough to engage the entire group, being social enough, and you ARE ignoring the target too much or for too long.
In my experience, it can be literally within minutes they she disengaged, so I don't think it's a matter of "ignoring her too long." The fact that the girls in the set who do stick around seem interested in the conversation make me think it's not a matter of just not being engaging enough.
I'm confused, so are you opening the target or are you opening her friends?
When I've tried this, I've generally opened the friends or the whole group.
It teaches to open her friends, appeal to the group, and then shift your attention to her when she starts giving IOIs or vying for your attention.
For me, it just never so happens that the target chips in and tries to get my attention or gives IOIs. She usually just stays on her phone the whole time, and I end up getting the interest of one of the less attractive girls in the group, sometimes even having one of them offer my number.
The point of indirect game opening is JUST to get past a certain point and hook the group and make them want you to stay, and then get her to demonstrate interest to you, at which point you can be as direct as you want and even convey your interest to her
I dunno, I end up hooking the other girls in the set, with the actual target never demonstrating interest.
If she's walking away from your sets, you're either not showing value/fun to the group and hooking them enough and/or not shifting to her and isolating her quickly enough once she shows interest. In my experience, girls don't simply walk away from their groups of close friends unless they're bored. Especially not when there's an entertaining, attractive and social guy that is leading the interaction
The fact that the rest of the girls in the group seem captivated and hooked makes me doubt it's simply a matter of not being fun/interesting enough. And since the target never shows interest, I never get to that point where I'm supposed to switch my attention to her. I almost feel like the hottest girl in the group either (a) knows she's the hottest and knows that people talk to her friends and a roundabout way of talking to her, or (b) is actually happy that her less attractive friends are finally getting some attention for once, and tries to give them space as to not interfere.
The problem is that she never gives these IOIs or tries to pipe up in the set, so if I were to do the whole "can I borrow your friend" thing, there would be no basis in the interaction with the set for her to actually want to be isolated with me, at least to the point of she and her friends agreeing to leave her alone with me. She'd just decide to stick with her friends instead.
[–]actuallykosak 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This entire "aloof" thing is just such garbage and we teach it to women from a young age that they should not show interest and if they do, they are being weak and deserve to feel embarrassed. I'm now starting to date more but I've had that mentality engrained in my behaviors, and every guy I date I end up asking out. They always tell me "I had no idea what you wanted, I couldn't read you at all"
Don't fucking play games with people and be forward, and flirty, and feel comfortable with the feelings you have and the way you communicate them. Theres a difference between being flirty and being uncomfortably eager and that's the thin line you need to learn. Not aloofness. Basic emotional intelligence.
[–]unknown_poo 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a great post, I like how you mention the part about power. What that references are power dynamics, and the interesting thing about power dynamics is that they're only characteristic of relationships in which people define their value in relation to another person's. And so, in order to maintain this sense of having value, you have to devalue the other. A lot of self-help, especially in the area of seduction and relationships, do not go deeply into the psychology of attraction. They cover only one aspect of it, but it's far more complex. It has to do with self-esteem, and it also has to do with trauma, and models of love that we inherit growing up, and also to do with culture. What the post describes is an inverted self-esteem that defines itself externally, which is the basis of narcissism. And the more we're characterized by a narcissistic self-esteem, then the more we confuse confidence for entitlement, which is why when you read about confidence, people often use describe it as having a sense of entitlement. I think a lot of the content out there in this post-modern consumer world are inadvertently manuals on how to inculcate sociopathic tendencies. And one of the reasons why this is the case is because of how success has come to be defined today.
[–]SuperDamian 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"powerful people"? Just sounds like confident people to me, regardless of power. Worrying about or mentioning "power" seems like insecurity to me.
[–][deleted] 104 points105 points106 points 6 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
This feels very wrong.
Since when did two people getting along and beginning to develop feelings for each other become this game of cat and mouse between two people. Will that really create a healthy relationship long term if this is what it is established on? Someone ‘playing’ the other?
[–][deleted] 33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
This book, written by Robert Greene, is full of such Machiavellian advice in regards to seduction and general relationships. It may work with immature youths that play games like these, and are motivated toward something just because "they can't have it". The whole "act like a king" thing is a good way to make yourself look like an asshole. Why not just be genuine about your intent, and act like someone who earns respect and not expects it from everyone
[–]frootloopsgoddream 13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You missed something. Greene himself does not follow most of these rules that are part of our social interactions. He's said this himself. He observes and reports. I think it's good to know this stuff. Anyone is free to use it or not to use some and other things in it not so much or to just for example not become a part of this sort of game or be manipulated. It is pretty spot on. It can be taken as advice but we shouldn't assume and just take it as such.
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The advice presented in readings such as these “might work with immature youths”.
Thats a laugh. These teachings are based on inter dynamic human interaction and psychology. Emotionally charged language to lessen the perceived value of valuable advice such as this is cowardly.
The “acting like a king” is a mindset for one to internalize. You are the prize, you are important, your life purpose is your primary goal; everything else, especially female attraction/relationship is secondary. This page of 48 LoP isn’t telling the reader to be an asshole. It’s telling them to not be needy. Overly chasing things, such as women, is by nature needy.
A needy mentality that comes from a lack of abundance and a lack of a healthy mental frame translates to stupid actions that further drive away your desires.
This is a great read and people should internalize this, along with other extremely helpful insights to human behavior and psych.
[–]beyoncais 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
His verbiage is a laugh tbh
[–]420KUSHBUSH 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
His book after, Art of Seduction, was higher-fidelity as to what you would enjoy more as "the way things are" though his most recent book, Laws of Human Nature, is far better and has insights in a manner similar to your perspective
[–]HeavenPiercingMan 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You gotta filter all that stuff. In practice it means to not be needy, but PUA pushers sell it to you as if there's only two kinds of people in the world, turbovirgins and turbochads, and "you don't wanna be a turbovirgin don't you? Agree with me and buy my stuff you fucking pussy or you will die alone" and think normal people and normal relationships do not exist.
[–]Soundnipple 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This discussion can go in many directions. One side is that this power play is not for one looking for someone to fall in love with. This step I look at it as the step to initiate interest
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seduction is a skill and, like any skill, it's only right or wrong in the sense of succeeding or not. It also has a scope, which helps to define success itself. Seduction's scope is to attract the person you like and most advices go as far as getting a f-close. I've never heard Seduction advice about getting married or how to solve a couple's quarrel, this is not r/relationships
If you feel seduction's goals fall short for your life plans or don't match with them, then you're in the wrong sub. If you came to judge other people's life goals, please do better and respect the struggles you don't know about.
[–]no_re-entry 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Life is a game, and we're in it to win it
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hell yeah!
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The meaning of life is lost in win - Bob Dylan
[–]Tutsks 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And its absent in defeat.
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
Push/pull and dread is great stuff. Different wordage, same concept.
A quality response compared to these other ones. Well done.
[–]anon3451 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whats wrong about not looking thirsty lol, I think it's common knowledge to be a turn off to women whether we like it or not
Since when did two people getting along and beginning to develop feelings for each other become this game of cat and mouse between two people.
Since the beginning of mankind. Most other species do it as well, with mating rituals becoming sometimes, very very intricate and complex. Look up the dancing spider for a great example.
Simply put, there are behaviours people respond to, and behaviours they do not.
Most any girl, regardless of whether she finds someone attractive, will be put off by needyness or insecurity, and at its core, that is what this is talking about. But its not only girls, really, we all have the annoying friend who seems to have absolutely nothing going on in his life, and who constantly needs attention and positive reinforcement.
He might be a good friend, he might be a bad friend, but most people are happy to limit the amount of people like that in their lives, because they are draining.
Furthermore, relationships occur in stages, simply put, if the mating dance, so to speak, is unsuccessful, there will be no relationship to be healthy, or not. And the simple fact here is that people long for the things that they do not have. Oftentimes, wanting something creates a much more intense sensation than getting it.
For instance, a lot of people, me included, rather prefer say, lingerie, than our partner to be naked. And, if there is no "game" or chase, as you put it, we feel like something is wrong. Like when someone randomly comes and hands you cash, it creates the feeling that you are being had, that something is wrong, that you should get out.
At our core, humans seem to long to do something to deserve whatever it is that they want, people need coherency and for things to make sense. And more value is given to things which are rarer, or harder to acquire. The concept of scarcity applies not only to gold and diamonds, but to people.
Point being, it might feel wrong to you, but only because you are either taking the concept to mean something it does not, or because of a lack of experience with things. Generally speaking, you do not seduce people by kindly walking up to them, giving them puppy eyes, and asking them to please love you.
No, like most everything in life, you have to work for it. You have to craft a memorable date, a great experience, a bond that makes you different from all the other guys who would also want that same girl.
And, ironically, since attractive girls tend to be chased by everyone, giving them the opportunity to chase, is giving them something they did not have, as well as, hopefully, a wonderful experience.
That said, all of this refers to the seduction part of the mating experience. If you are looking for relationship advice, there is a sub for that, where lonely miserable people will readily solve any and all relationship issues by advising whomever to break up, over whatever, at all times.
It being the case that the relationship advice in our times is such, I'd recommend people get good at the seduction part, because it does come in handy.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“this feels wrong” isn’t an argument. Its just emotionally charged language.
Life is a game. Relationships are games. This isn’t a Hollywood romantic film. True love doesn’t exist. Read more material like this and hopefully one day you’ll break free from your bp conditioning.
Good luck.
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s called "keys to power", not "keys to a healthy relationship"
[–][deleted] 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
certainly not some sort of power dominance over your partner
[–]vecter 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some degree is good for the guy. Too much is unhealthy.
[–]Demmitri 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't even apply to power, a human being wrote this, a human being that is wrong.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Should I buy 48 laws of power?
[–]theoinkypenguin 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s sort of a kids version of Machiavelli. It’s not terrible, but it’s more focused on modeling yourself after cartoon supervillains.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's an amazing video on Youtube, animated, that goes over them all...you know, if reading is too much trouble..haha.
[–]Marlo1999 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, even if you don’t agree with everything he says. The historical anecdotes provided are enough to be an interesting book alone. One of my favourite books!
[–]DAOcomment2 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Push-pull works best. It's not all push. Pushing is easy. Pulling is easy. Striking that perfect balance between push-pull is hard. That's the art.
Push-pull kids. Behind that, actually be a valuable man and display it. Your unavailability isn't inherently attractive on its own, it's attractive when you have value and she thinks she could have it, but she's not quite sure. Get your mental/emotional health sorted, get fit, handle your money, accomplish shit, have friends, have a life, then push-pull works best. Then your interest is matters. Then your disinterest matters.
The first mistake young dudes make is being too thirsty. So the idea of disinterest being attractive is a revelation. But that's still a beginner stage of game, and an immature and ineffective paradigm for seduction. It doesn't all come down to this. It's a powerful move but one small piece of the game.
[–]TCtrain 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea this seems fucking stupid
[–]Cacho_Later 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Which rule of 48 laws of power is this?
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Law 36
[–]DaxMan12 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Next time I’m at a bar and I see a girl I want to talk to I’ll just turn back my back and say nothing. How could she possibly resist?? lol.
Not only will this rarely ever work, it’s also a dishonest way to live. If you want to talk and get to know someone just own it and do so!
[–]70sgoddess 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exceptional response 😍 who would want the kind of terrible person, this behavior would attract?
[–]DaxMan12 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks :) Exactly, treating someone with disdain is a shitty thing to do. If you think someone is cute, just show interest and be genuine (I prefer after some solid eye contact or a cheeky wave). If they aren’t into that then you probably dodged a bullet anyway.
[–]RaptorMan333 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You're taking it to an extreme and using hyperbole. Completely ignoring a girl and never even acknowledging her is completely different from being slightly aloof, mildly unattainable, and making her qualify herself to you.
[–]DaxMan12 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re taking it to an extreme and using hyperbole
It’s called humour
“You need to turn your back on what you want, show contempt and disdain”. This is douchey behaviour. You can attract and seduce people just fine by being confident and treating people like they matter.
[–]pto1155 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
LOL I remember reading this phrase. From experience, it works, but this is an old method, don't use this because your significant other will get mad
[–]Babayaga20000 31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Bruh we on r/seduction cuz we dont have significant others...
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I second this
[–]pto1155 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol just booked that 😂
[–]beyoncais 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Contempt can be easily sniffed out on other people and in turn, makes them even more unapproachable. No one likes a contemptuous person. This is such terrible advice.
Edit: Also, you do not have to manipulate people to get them to like you.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I also feel like if you got someone to be attracted to you like this it's gonna be for the wrong reason anyway. So they want to because you're distant? And then what happens when you get them? They will realise you were just acting and you're back to square one
[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Got it! Ignoring all women from now on. #MGTOWGame Should be drowning in pussy soon. Later, virgins!
[–]Lord_Goose 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not a fan of this mindset. There are other ways.
[–]SuperDamian 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Wow, try to increase your confidence before you think of any "power games"
[–]SuperDamian 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't really understand.
But as in the text, turning your back on someone to make someone "go crazy over you" in an attempt to show of some sort of "power" is a "power game" regardless if it works or not.
You might be way more successful if you are just you and confident and someone who has something going in his life and a direction.
I absolutely do not get the "water is wet" part.
And on a side note, Lois XIV was a huge dick and I guarantee you that he was not powerful because of the way he treated people or because of his "power game" but because he was one of the biggest fucking monarchs in his era.
Edit: This piece of text absolutely sucks.
[–]S1mply_Flawless 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I need to read this whole text. What is it?
[–]AMR6124 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene
[–]bugxter 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, no.
[–]chocolatesheikh 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Obsolete
[–]CzarFace28 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ridiculous it has come to this... What about being up front and honest? If I don't show interest how do they act upon it? Stupid reverse psychology this is. If I want something I go get it. This is the "game" I guess.... real recognize real and if they don't see that, then its their problem. Total bullshit people think it's come to this.
I mean I've tried this. I take no notice of girls and ignore them and all that shit. Guess what? They ignore me as well and no interaction happens.
[–]Nimhtom 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well that's because they don't notice you, you have to grab their attention, say hello, flirt a little, then when they try talking to you and pushing you, be Mr. Out of their legue
[–]hale326 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Eww.
This is not power. This is the exact opposite, this is giving away power, this is being so desperate for something that you let it influence your actions at the point that you hide what you desire. You know who will react like it's predicted there? Other desperate people, from whom you'll learn nothing and that will lead you to either forgetting about them or to bad feelings and unhappiness.
There's nothing of masculine in all of that. A man, a real man, is one who knows what he wants and does not hide it. A boy who lives by those rules will be nothing but a boy for his whole life, consuming his own entrails in desperation, trying to be someone for someone. You want a woman who chases what? Your careless back? I'd rather one who chases me, not some pathetic ego booster technique.
That is the very definition of manipulation. It should be used when you deal with enemies, not with potential lovers. People are not stupid, fool them and as soon as they realise it they'll leave you. Friends, lovers, they are not in a fight with you, it's not a matter of who has more power over whom, that's not why people stick around.
Will it get you in the pants of women? Yeah, some of them maybe. But what for? You won't feel accepted, you won't feel a connection, you will hurt even more someone who is already hurt (or she would never consider someone who acts like that) and in the long run you'll remain alone. Listen to me, throw away that stuff, or keep it for business only. Start looking for real things.
And if you want an example of what's a real king, someone who inspires and is followed and respected, read "king, warrior, magician, lover". A king is someone who takes care of those around him, someone who understands that he is a man with a crown on his head, not THE crown. And there's a big difference in that.
[–]Demmitri 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is uberly bullshit, please don't believe anything of this.
[–]londoncatvet 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you turn your back on your targets, how will they know they're your targets?
[–][deleted] 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DaxMan12 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Next time I’m at a bar and I see a girl I want to talk to I’ll just turn my back and say nothing. How could she possibly resist?? lol.
[–]DaxMan12 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is some truth to your post, but I still disagree. There is no need to treat somebody you’re interested in with disdain. And to do so to try and spark interest is manipulative.
I do however agree that you should be happy and confident with yourself before approaching anyone. And you should be completely fine whether or not the girl reciprocates your advances.
[–]unknownDac 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you have the concise version?
[–]MeIAm319 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. This is why you should lose your attraction to the outcome.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Powerfully written
[–]MaiNameIsLi 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
48 law of power.. Good read
[–]KING-HAML3T 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Art of Seduction
[–]Undercovermother19 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I totally agree with whoever authored this piece. It seems a tad illogical but it's true. I used to be very open, sharing things and acted like I cared and it got me absolutely nowhere. Nowadays, I act like I just don't care, well I really don't and I am making more progress now than I have ever did before. You see, you don't have a lot of power over anything or anyone but what you do have power over is your mind. You decide what matters and what is insignificant. You don't have power over much else. Stop making people a priority when you are not to them.
False, it is all about letting the other person/people know what you want albeit being indifferent to the outcome
[–]bunnyannfox 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love this!!!! Thank you!
[–]aribolab 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Contempt only works when you have something they want: power, money, beauty. If you don’t, contempt is pathetic. You first need to build attraction. Louis XIV’s contempt is not a beggar’s contempt.
[–]Jaja_Aureolin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe that this if from "The 48 Laws of Power"
What’s the name of this book?
[–]ImJustSo 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reading through the comments, many of you can't grasp the concept in the way which it naturally unfolds. If you read this without confidence being natural to you, then nothing in this excerpt will help you, because it's describing the traits of someone else. It's not telling you how to get there yourself.
You cannot create a specific curriculum for confidence. Each learner will have different needs. All of your values are varied, all of your knowledge is varied, you're all at varying levels of confidence/insecurity.
Each person's acquisition of confidence therefore comes from varying experience. You may lack confidence in your job on day one, but how about a year later? So you gain confidence that you are good enough there. Now you're financially stable and you begin gaining confidence that you can save money, invest in your future, provide for friends or family if needed.
You still lack confidence with women though, whoever you are. So you read things like this excerpt from a book, this post of mine, too. You look for an answer on how to become something else through research. The problem is that all the confidences you've gained through life came through experiences. Getting better with women and becoming more confident in your ability with women comes from experiences with women that only you can create.
Through my eyes, this book except makes sense in a way that doesn't to many of you, but does to me. I've had so many interactions with women that I know I need defenses against them. I know that there are manipulative women out there. I know that there's women with shitty behavior and are shitty people, who will try to trick me, use me, or hurt me, because I'm attractive to them. I also know that there's beautiful women out there that act wonderfully towards me.
The scary part is that often times, the bad ones "act better" than the good ones do up front. So how do I protect myself? I don't volunteer information and I act the same way towards everyone. I'm nice. I'm funny. I'm aloof. I'm flirty. I'm interesting. I care. I'm intense when you have my attention and my attention goes towards anything interesting, so you often times want to be the most interesting thing to me. And when I do give attention, it's warm, feels good.
If you do anything that I don't like, I'm not an asshole. I'm not going to blow up. I'm not going to ruin your life. I'm going to take away the most valuable thing that I have. I'm just going to take me away from you. I don't give my attention freely, I know its value because I've had enough experiences with people to know my worth. I am confident.
That's what the book is describing, in my opinion. It's describing a healthy trait in an unhealthy manner, but it does match up with how I perceive well socialized people. Confident men and women are a pleasure to be around and many of them simply take away their attention if they don't like you.
Narcissistic assholes do, too though. :) Which the book describes simultaneously.
[–]ubergubernatorial 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Beautiful!
[–]A4_Ts -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I kind of did this last night but not on purpose. I was walking to a social event and I met these two really cute girls on the way there and we started walked together because why not? I get there and try to break off to do my own thing but they keep walking with me and I dono I just got the vibe they were into me. I have a girl though which is why I didn’t do anything but I can see that “chasing” dynamic taking place. I don’t agree with it though, I’d rather be genuine if I were trying to meet someone either for the long term or just getting laid
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