Late bloomer. Anyone else?

mcool4151 · 2017-03-23T14:23:29+00:00

Read this book 'No more mr.Nice guy' And then this book 'Models'

purplepilled2 · 2017-03-23T16:59:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

feyrath · 2017-03-23T16:19:49+00:00

I didn't start really trying to date til about 26. when you get depressed you deal with it. by that I mean you find out what you need to do to get over it. don't just sit and fester. some people need to get out more. some people need friends to bolster them. some people need the help of a professional - there's no shame in it. find what you need, and keep trying til you do.

aznkriss133 · 2017-03-23T17:37:06+00:00

A day late and a dollar short is basically the story of my life. Fuck the bullshit. Just do what makes you happy. It's what I do. Still on a 23 year dry spell but it's not something that bothers me too much.

Woujo · 2017-03-23T16:11:00+00:00

Being a "late bloomer" means nothing. There are no rules. Also don't let being a virgin bother you. When you have sex you'll be like "this is the thing I was freaking out about? It's nothing."

SvenskaTuttar · 2017-03-23T15:22:08+00:00

Hey man I am a late bloomer too. My best advice to you would be to try to travel between different hostels. It is a lot of fun, fairly cheap and you meet so much people and break your comfort zone. Aiming on doing it again this summer! :)

Don't focus on sex, it will come naturally. For now just try to break your comfort zone every day.

holzpuppet · 2017-03-23T20:28:14+00:00

You should call yourself a bloomer too soon, son. I nerded over Japanese girls so after being an otaku weirdo for about 17 years of my life I managed to lose my virginity by 18 to a Japanese girl but grandiosely fucked up myself by being a sissy in the relationship.

I felt like the king of my little world until I realized that my castle was built on sand.

Then another 8 years I struggled to alienate myself from the catastrophic relationship of my parents and to learn how to be with people properly and I still struggle to get it right. Discovered inner game and red pill just now and started getting my mind right. How you need to view certain things for the rational scheme that they happen in. You learn to observe and think about what you do to fuck up and overcompensate. But if you didn't make an error once you won't see nor know how to correct that in the first place. It's all about knowing, experiencing and creating close calls. It's called the circle of accelerated returns.

Now the only problem stopping me from going for what I really want is the lack of drive fueled by malnutrition, society and various self-defeating complexes.

zonzontle · 2017-03-23T16:47:25+00:00

As someone that was a virgin until 24, I can tell you that it matters less than you think.

Being a virgin did not make me depressed but that's just because I've never struggled with depression. Everybody deals with stuff differently (therapy, meditation, pills, work, etc.).

My advice would be to not let it define you. However, you have to accept it and embrace it in a way.

Imagine you are meeting someone new, man or woman, it doesn't matter. There's a whole "history" that this person has gone through to be standing in front of you at this moment.

Now, imagine you are talking about your past and you are kinda monologuing and you say, word for word, the first three/four paragraphs of your post to this person.

If I were that person, I would find that interesting. And not just because I personally dealt with that same issue but because almost everybody can relate with struggles. Everybody deals with their own.

It also speaks volumes of you that you are already working on improving your situation. Not everybody can do that.

Being a virgin does not define you but being a virgin is a part of you, it's part of your history.

spanky316 · 2017-03-23T16:32:00+00:00

What do you mean you started going out. Can you elaborate? Did you just go out by yourself?

GoingToMAGA · 2017-03-23T18:18:13+00:00

Book Of Pook

somewhatintrigued · 2017-03-23T20:35:36+00:00

Dude. Don't sweat it. A lot of guys never had sex up until your age and even more. Buddy of mine lost his vcard in his late 20s. No biggie.

Get it over with and then some. Rock out with your cock out. Good luck!

recyclablebanthas · 2017-03-24T01:41:07+00:00

______1:Allow yourself to enjoy the journey______

I went from never doing anything with not even a girl's number in my phone, to hanging out every day.....

Now I'm still nowhere near where I should be according to my age,

The mind is a funny thing sometimes. You can make ALL that progress, freeing your mind, reconstructing something more like a normal social life in four months, effectively doing YEARS of work in only four months....

And still that voice in your head will be concerned not with the vast ground you've covered, but what amounts to a few meters on the path of your life.

Four months, and it seems pretty clear to me that you went from almost nothing, to a place that most hard cases could only dream.

Now here's the question: will you allow yourself to downplay all that progress when it's amazing? Or will you allow yourself to enjoy this a little more?

_______2: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a helpful tool_____

....I'm trying to not let that bother me, and I'm trying to rationalize it by saying I was a really late bloomer....

I say, fuck this idea that you should have to bargain or rationalize things for that little voice in your head.

That little voice of doubt is like the last vestiges of the childhood you've been overcoming. (The seeds of negative thought patterns often originate in childhood.)

Those doubts and the depression? It's a well-known cycle in psychology. Thoughts change the brain chemistry and can cause a physical reaction in the body. Thoughts can cause emotions. And emotions can lead to certain thoughts. It's a big circle.

While it's harder to directly affect emotions, you can effect change on your thought patterns that lead to those emotions, breaking the cycle. (Here's a quick overview of how you might start doing this work on yourself. I can elaborate more on it if you need.)

______3:Educate yourself on sex!____

And some ammunition to use would be logical things like realizing that having sexual experience is not quite so big a factor in sexual prowess. There are a lot of people who've had a lot of sex, who are shit in bed.

Really, what might also help you feel better would be to become a student of sex. You have access to the Internet, man. Look up everything you can. Learn about the different male and female orgasms. The male and female g-spots and their locations. The clitoris and its location. The different sexual positions. The basics of foreplay. There's no reason you shouldn't be finding out what you can. If you haven't already.

And if you also realize that every girl is a new situation where you have to explore to find out what they like, then it becomes clear that curiosity and playfulness are more useful than worrying about what the "right thing to do" would be when there really isn't one.

mistersunman · 2017-03-23T21:57:45+00:00

LMAO Late Bloomer my ass. Get this guy a tissue hahaha. I started at 26, now I'm 30. Things have never looked better. I was really fucked up from bad ADHD and Godlike Anxiety... If I can change, anyone can change...

Mystere366 · 2017-03-23T15:01:18+00:00

I was a late bloomer as well. Didn't kiss a girl or have sex until 18. While you may be saying, "that's younger than me," hear me out. From college until only about 6 months ago, and right now I'm 29, i tried everything and the only females that came my way were nothing I really wanted. Esentially, the women who "liked" me on a dating app. It was the only interest I got while all my friends were sleeping with new attractive women on a weekly basis. Long story short, became true to myself and did not change who I was, approached with not caring the outcome, started to dress better, exercise, couple of new a well done photos for tinder/ bumble, and magic! At the point where I choose who I want as well as too busy to get all the dates in within a week time span. Overall, head up, freshen up, and don't give a fuck about outcomes. It will happen, and quickly...

Garthanthoclops · 2017-03-23T17:33:37+00:00

Yeah I was raised religious, though nothing like what you experienced. My mom was very adamant about "sex is for marriage" but hell wasnt brought up in reference...anyways, I didn't do much until I lost my virginity at 21. My beliefs are still the same in a way, but I began to interpret the Bible differently that what they tell you in church...the whole "sex is for marriage" isn't even in the versions of the Bible in familiar with, it just talks about purity. I feel like the whole notion of waiting for marriage is just to control you. But yeah, I was definitely a late bloomer. Doesn't effect me much, my current girlfriend actually thought I had way more experience than I had once we started sleeping together. A lot of it is mentality. If you feel like you are inadequate, you probably will be. If you feel like you are worth it, then you probably will be as well.

PreFrontalClarity · 2017-03-23T23:36:39+00:00

Take the time to focus on other areas of yo ur life. Everyone's life is different.. plus you never really get what you chase until you stop chasing it.

Bourbonaged0 · 2017-03-24T02:25:44+00:00

I'm 26 and still struggling. It's a different issue for me though. Talking and approaching is not a problem. I boiled it down to me feeling like I don't deserve a good looking women. Not sure why.

werkwerkwhat · 2017-03-23T17:05:30+00:00

Lol I'm 26 and still haven't done the deed. Fuck you and your 22 year old "late bloomer" bullshit.

anotherthrowawayad22 · 2017-03-24T00:47:45+00:00

Similar. Didn't do anything in high school as I was fat and ugly. Went to college and got in shape. Still a virgin but I get looks and stares and even a few numbers her and here though I have to step my game up

rebelrob0t · 2017-03-24T01:47:28+00:00

You're not behind on anything man. There is no time line to life or anything like that. You decided to be more social and that's good don't beat yourself up over lost time, you're still not even anywhere near old. I've posted this before but I was like you I never did any of the normal 20s stuff be a use I spent half my 20s stuffing heroin into my veins. Seems like you picked the much cheaper option if sitting around doing nothing haha. You're not behind for your age or any of that, people get too caught up on age. Just keep going g on and meeting new girls and let the past be the past and enjoy the things you got going on now. I'd say about 50% of most people's problems is worrying too much about what problems they think they have. Also we're dudes so don't worry about hanging onto your V card. Just find one you like and get it over with and start learning what your doing. The whole who you lost your virginity thing too never meant shit to me but maybe that's just me haha.

Daft-Bastard · 2017-03-24T02:54:15+00:00

20 Here, and I know it's not THAT old, but I feel insecure that if I'll ever manage to pickup a girl in a club or something else, I'm going to be obviously a virgin, by sucking at it. (People allways say you suck at sex the first time(s) you do it.)

It's not really that I'm ugly or socially inept (I did, but I managed to change both a bit.) and I've had a couple of girls taking a liking into me, but I just feel completely autistic when it comes to intimacy. I'm scared I'll just come off as some creep going too fast or too slow.

supnat · 2017-03-24T03:01:25+00:00

I did everything much earlier than you, but in my situation I was still a late bloomer. It was in the eleventh grade when I first actually wanted to do sexual things with girls, even though I'd already found them hot since like 5th grade (my religious mom tried to discourage me hanging out with anyone that wasn't a boy). My friends occasionally teased me because most of them had already had sex while I still hadn't even made out with a girl, so I began my journey into getting sexual with girls.

I fixed my "problem" by going out with my friends that get with lots of girls because the confidence and fun mentality they give off rubs off. I could not talk to girls alone, but when I was with that group of friends I could talk to girls I'd never seen in my life quite easily. I ended up making out with my first girl two months into the 11th grade at a Halloween party. By the end of the eleventh grade I'd gotten with 6 girls and had gotten head, and was comfortable enough to go talk to girls on my own.

It's been a year and a half since eleventh grade and I have gotten with another 7 or 8 girls, and fucked/ done oral with 5 of them. It isn't impressive by any means, but I am proud of myself for initiating conversation with these girls on my own.

I suggest getting Tinder and going out with a girl or two with no intentions of hooking up with her, with which you can try out different methods of interaction and learning what girls like to hear via text and in-person. Once you're comfortable with these girls, you can make moves on girls you actually plan on fucking/ getting serious with.

Feel free to message me if you need any advice or if you need someone to talk to about this.

Xanarxses · 2017-03-24T05:46:59+00:00

I'd rather be a virgin than a friendless dude that can't approach.

Anonymous808 · 2017-03-24T20:52:51+00:00

21 same situation rn.

Maxferny · 2017-03-24T00:28:49+00:00

Totally feel you man =(

Being a virgin sucks it just destorys my confidence, lately Ive been a bit depressed, I dont want to blame my sexless life, but it really does weight a bit. I understand its all my fault but fuck it hurt. Anyways go to the gym. GYM is life.

Late bloomer. Anyone else?

Comments

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET THIS PATRIOT A COAT

Title	Late bloomer. Anyone else?
Author	Thr120
Upvotes	122
Comments	73
Date	March 23, 2017 2:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6120r6/late_bloomer_anyone_else/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/late-bloomer-anyone-else.1422283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1422283