losing hope...

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-21T02:57:09+00:00

If they see you as their little brother is because you don’t make the conversations man to woman, meaning you don’t flirt sexually, you don’t show your sexual intent, you don’t behave as if you are feeling hot for her, you are not acting in a sexual way, you act platonic and safe, and the most flirty thing you say is that she is cute or that she has nice eyes and that’s it… which is not really enough, that’s something her grandma could say.

And that you take too long to escalate towards physical touch and the first kiss.

That’s why you are seen as their little brother

CryptowTheLine · 2022-03-21T03:50:43+00:00

My best advice is flirt with everyone. Women, men, the librarian, the post guy. Just get used to keeping a conversation going, slipping in random complements, though nothing too serious. You need practice not pressure.

Don’t screw around with Dating apps they will only fuck with your mental.

If women are looking at you as little brother, it’s because you didn’t make her feel anything sexual towards you.

The secret is women want sex as much or more than men. They want to be fucked, they want to be pursued as sexual beings. They want to be feminine. Modern feminist theory is great for equality, but Me Too has made approach harder, and caused doubt in a lot of men that legitimately have good intentions.

But here’s the thing, if you start out as her friend she will have to make the decision to fuck a friend and risk losing a free support network.

You need to first get in the running and that means learning how to escalate, learning how to make her feel any sort of desire beyond just friendship. If you aren’t used to this already this can easily start with low stakes encounters. Talk to people you have no interest sexually in and learn how to gain and build attraction, this is a learned skill. Get used to rejection, get used to silence.

But one thing is for certain, if you give up now it will only get worse. College is like shooting fish in a barrel. Make your mistakes, learn Your game. You will need it when you are out.

Happy hunting

ReadyTelephone2395 · 2022-03-21T03:07:44+00:00

Look, women don't know what they want and are constantly sending mixed signals. What is clear is the dating scene in 2022 is brutal. I have had a horrible success rate over the last couple of years. It takes a ton of work just to meet someone, and for the most part, it always fails. Why? Lots of reasons I guess. The main one is probably me... I don't bring to the table what most women want... which is a standard story for most guys now adays. As I have been told multiple times by women... "we want to date, we just don't want to date YOU."

Noob_elk · 2022-03-21T07:59:06+00:00

The "brake" you put when you want to flirt or communicate sexually, is the reason women see you as their friend/little brother. Unfortunately I am dealing with this problem as well. Sometimes being yourself is difficult, but we have to find a way out of this.

whiplash81 · 2022-03-21T14:35:51+00:00

Dating apps are meant to keep you using them so that you'll eventually pony up money. They are also a great way to destroy your self esteem, especially when you aren't used to being social with women.

You'll always have better chances meeting people organically through being social and making friends (and then meeting their friends, etc.) than you will with dating apps. You'll have the opportunity to express a more genuine version of you than you would with pictures and text.

frankywaryjot · 2022-03-21T15:03:15+00:00

Stop caring so much, your worthy human being without a woman. 2. Money, money, money 3. Ffs don't take advices from "female puas"😆

Nicholite46 · 2022-03-21T04:47:12+00:00

Let me throw so cold reality your way. You sound desperate, and women can smell desperation like a bad fart. You need a idgaf attitude and to stop looking so hard. Women are attracted to men that don’t seem to care, especially about them. Build a life around your own hobbies and interests. Women like a guy that’s not needy and has his own life. Develop an aura of mystery about yourself and learn some game. Keep working the online sites because it’s good practice for developing social skills and confidence and it’s easy to get laid on them. I don’t know what you’re doing wrong but any guy can get laid on Match or Tinder. Put up a new photo and update your profile.

radiatorman573 · 2022-03-21T08:13:52+00:00

You aren’t attractive

2022-03-21T04:58:25+00:00

I heard a female pua say that if you're shy or socially inept then dating apps are your friends. So I downloaded the main ones. Tinder, bumble, hinge, okcupid. I got 0 matches on all of them. The only likes I get are from obese women or gay dudes.

Well, I don’t really know how helpful that is for pursuing romance. I’d say apps are always a supplement even if you’re currently shy or socially inept. Also, your profile could be bad for you.

How are your friendships going?

But, basically, you should try to get to know women you’re attracted to while pursuing your values, in your college classes or in your hobby etc.

With regards to women seeing you as a little brother and for your troubles in general, I’d recommend checking out Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson

burncushlikewood · 2022-03-21T08:27:09+00:00

Two things, pick up is easy, second thing it takes time to develop these skills it took me at least 3 years before my game actually got good. There are some seriously skilled puas that I researched thoroughly, https://youtu.be/WCfwj_p7Oa8 Rich is the man, he's a rags to riches story, watch his videos, go out to the club and try, you will succeed it's just a matter of time and effort

2022-03-21T09:24:54+00:00

Maybe invest in a coach if you have the cash to save you time and see where you’re going wrong

max_insa · 2022-03-21T13:20:12+00:00

In your case tbh it's most likely that you don't touch girls enough and that you're not straightforward enough.

If you want to really get good at this without wasting years of your life hitting your head against the wall in trying out to figure out what advice works from what advice is shit you gotta have a proven system.

It isn't rocket science but there's a way to convey sexual interest and to bring girls from stranger who finds you cute to acquaintance that is curious about you to a girl who wants your dick.

So I know people on this sub hate it, but, get a coach. Or at least hang out with a guy who is successful with girls and do the same as him (not the same as what he tells you to do).

Jimbomoney99 · 2022-03-21T14:59:18+00:00

Best thing you can do is to stop trying like your life depends on it. No woman is going to fall into your lap and especially if you try to force it. Go with the flow, focus on the the things your good at and actively try to better yourself at the things you find to be your weak points. And at some point, a girl will come into your life and all of this will be a distant memory.

Yvonne2956 · 2022-03-21T18:28:26+00:00

Find something about her; like her nails, or, hair and ask her” who does your hair, nails, etc.”. She may ask if you like it, then tell her, I like a lot of things about you. Go from there. Ask about something that she pays attention to and give her a compliment about that.

Processed_Ham · 2022-03-22T06:09:53+00:00

See if one of them is into incest, that’ll fix the little brother issue

Calamity__Bane · 2022-03-21T04:11:32+00:00

If you aren’t getting anywhere by reading the advice here, diversify. Go back and read the old material we all read back in the day and familiarize yourself with the concepts, tactics, and structure underpinning the advice we’re giving. Once you do that, it will be a lot easier to break down the structure of your process and figure out where you’re going wrong and how to fix it.

I’ll echo what another commenter said and say that if you’re getting the “little brother” vibe from everyone, it’s because you’re not actually being sexy. Most likely, you’re just being pleasant and maybe funny, but aren’t taking any conversational or physical risks. You need to be willing to risk being offensive to make this work, or else you’re wasting your time and won’t generate attraction.

2022-03-21T04:46:38+00:00

Both cold approach or dating apps are not suitable for many people. Try to meet some girls doing the things you like, look for common hobbys/topics, get invited to some social meetings by your friends, go on vacation and meet new people etc.

And quit whining, it is not helping you in any way. It is not necessarily because of your appearance/character that you are not getting success. You need to find yourself in good circumstances and good vibe to attract women.

Mundane_Natural5131 · 2022-03-21T12:43:26+00:00

Bro you have to be more straight forward i remember in college i did a cold approach i said excuse me and asked the girl her name and when she told me her name i told her that i thought she was really cute while looking into her eyes and told her that i wanted to get to know her she started blushing hard and told she shed love to but she had a boyfriend you have to tell them what all the other men are scared to tell her just be straight forward bro you have nothing to lose. when you tell them like that straight up it makes them feel nervous and that is an emotion women are attracted to men that make them feel an emotion. Talking to them about the weather doesn’t make them feel nervous or shy or wanted/desired (emotion) that is why not showing intention always leads nowhere or into the friendzone. That is why people say that “its all about confidence” because someone without confidence is never straight forward thus never causing an emotion

Nicholite46 · 2022-03-21T15:48:53+00:00

So.. sorry to be an asshole but you probably just ugly. It just sucks sometimes. So you have a few options, the other advice here is pretty shit.

go to a country that likes white guys and your success will improve dramatically. It won't really change anything when you come back home though.
hit the gym and if you can't look really good maybe try some good cycling of steroids. Not going overboard, just a little bit to help you put on some muscle and shed fat. Looking good is 90% of the battle. Or maybe talk to some doctor for some testosterone therapy, not sure what would be the best, just do a shit ton of research before and start very slowly and monitor your health closely.
Get facial surgery. If the body is not the problem..than maybe you are just ugly. It's shit luck but sometimes you just need to do it. Girls do it all the time for so many things so i don't think it's a stretch.
If you wear glasses, contact lenses should help a bit. If you're going bald then hair transplant should help.

The cold truth is because of apps and globalization women have access to really good looking guys and won't settle for less. Well.. unless you are rich i guess.

Professional-Chain20 · 2022-03-21T18:25:40+00:00

Look up Casey Zander, consider getting his coaching. If you are having this issue it’s from a lack of understanding about your masculinity and your framing. Basically, you are a nice guy, which is great to be but, having a job and dressing nice is only a small portion of what’s going to convert into success with women. If you understand that you need to differentiate between your masculine and feminine qualities and highlight those aspects you will have an easier time. Getting better with speaking and flirting is a big one. Goto YouTube and watch some of Casey’s free stuff, goto charisma university and look at theirs. This can give you a baseline to go out and practice. Firstly, fuck dating apps, fuck Instagram and ditch anything that you can view women through a screen. This automatically makes them seem less attainable and trains your mind that attractive women live in your phone. Stop beating your meat to porn, stop beating it In General. This associates intimacy with your hand so when you even get in front of a woman even just to talk, you see them as this mythical unicorn that you only see in porn. Work on your body, work on your mouth piece. Cheesy pickup won’t do it. Work on having real conversations with people first, even men and unattractive people randomly in public. Don’t be weird about it but, if someone is standing beside you and you make an observation, compliment them. “Heyyy, nice shoes!? Where’s you get those? …outlet mall? Now way, I’m trying to get my sneaker game up. Thanks for the tip. I’m trying f to get my style game up like yours my guy. What’s your name? I’m corey, nice to meet you” and you will see that as your random social interactions increase in frequency, your results with talking to girls will as well. It becomes easier to talk to them when you don’t have an expectation of outcome or an agenda. But, make it clear why you’re there. Don’t rush the interaction, clear your mind before approaching because if you start being to logical or in your head, you’ve already lost.

Hope this helps

vardarac · 2022-03-21T03:08:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Nicholite46 · 2022-03-21T02:54:56+00:00

So the thing about me, is that I'm not the most outgoing guy, but I've been trying really hard to rectify that.

Most people become more outgoing by making friends and going to social events with them. Is that what you are doing?

I mean people told me I'm not bad looking but I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

But are you actually good looking or are they just being polite?

All the girls that I've gotten close with only sees me as a little brother.

Thats because you are being too platonic, non-masculine, and approval seeking. Or they don't find you physically attractive or your social skills aren't good.

I heard a female pua say that if you're shy or socially inept then dating apps are your friends.

That only works if you are good looking, and have really good pics.

just keep better yourself and improving then focus on women bro.

Do both at the same time.

I'm in college forwarding my career, have a hobby I do everyday.

Are you actually going to any parties and having some wild times? Do you work out?

fourwindsgold · 2022-03-21T05:48:20+00:00

You probably aren’t jacked

still_zhero · 2022-03-21T20:26:11+00:00

Bro just take a course Dm me

Plamb79 · 2022-03-21T18:53:26+00:00

Just give up on dating. No stress that way. Just enjoy yourself

jamminamon · 2022-03-21T15:15:04+00:00

Check out this YT channel. Charisma on Command.

https://youtu.be/j4b5T-RAgec

I've found these guys to be extremely helpful. Watching their videos have helped me develop better social skills and understand different styles of charisma. What I realized with flirting, as someone mentioned before, it's not what you say but how you say it. Once I found a particular style I was comfortable with I felt much more confident.

I really liked watching their videos when they breakdown celebrity's types of charisma. Like Will Smith, Mark Ruffalo, and Keanu Reeves. It helped me visualize someone to emulate when I'm talking to someone.

It's going to take practice. Hopefully this'll help though.

hniles910 · 2022-03-21T17:18:43+00:00

bruh i am in the same boat as u, i honestly don't know what to do. I am scared that i'll never be able to have a girlfriend but later on i tell myself well that's life sometimes u can't get everything u want

-Dr-Krieger · 2022-03-21T22:33:16+00:00

Alright, without looking too deep into the comments I can see your point on thinking people are skipping steps in their descriptions. Unfortunately, this is one of those situations that’s both true and false at the same time. Some people seem to skip steps because their short comings are not yours and yours are not theirs so seemingly natural skills they have seem natural to themselves and will be completely foreign to you. There is also biological factors at play as well but let’s not go there yet.

The top comment you have is quite accurate to a point. CryptowTheLine said flirt with everyone which is good advice but edit flirt with talk/connect with everyone. Get people to talk and be a good conversationalist which is rewarding in its own right and this will gain you that magnetic charisma women tend to gravitate toward. Now I don’t know you or what your type is but chances are you’ll be cutting your teeth on a whole lot of interested people (you mentioned in your post) that aren’t your cup of tea so to speak. Guess what, practice with them is probably your best training wheels when it comes to dating. Not saying use and abuse these folk but just understanding the perspective can be illuminating.

Personally, before I even thought I knew what I was doing when it came to dating I started stumbling into situations just by connecting with people. As a guy 80/20 rule works great and until you get caught up on things interesting to your particular demographic your most valuable tool. But just because a screwdriver can handle a ton of jobs doesn’t mean it can cut and dress lumber. You’ll have to add and develop other tools that are custom to you and your style and best applied in your hands. This is Style and what people don’t talk about at all since everyone these days think they can cut and paste a persona like a hatchet job 4 page essay. I’m sure you’ve seen people like this before and it’s easy to separate the wheat from the chaff, especially for women. Not universally speaking here, but women are on the receiving end of a ton of different pickup tactics from the worst to the panty dropping best and if something smells funky they can usually spot it. So whatever dimensions you add to yourself make sure they are genuine because coming off fake in one area will give you the scarlet letter so to speak.

Anyway expect and embrace failure, intimacy / sex / everything that comes with it is nice but it’s like 10% of what life has to offer. Don’t make it bigger than it should be or you’ll be like a bunch of other idiots out there who’s self worth is determined by how much pipe they are laying.

Good luck and thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Jazz hands out!

Title	losing hope...
Author	Nicholite46
Upvotes	48
Comments	74
Date	March 21, 2022 2:41 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tj1kgo/losing_hope/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/losing-hope.1264068 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264068

Comments