No attraction

Wean1eHu11 · 2024-08-18T07:54:39+00:00

Attraction is more than just looks. She either isn’t attracted to your personality or she didn’t have fun with you when you met

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-08-18T10:14:29+00:00

Sexual attraction.

Did you do a lot of physical touch often when you were with her? Touching her face, nose, ears, elbows? Any hugs or kisses? French kisses? Bit her lips? Interlocking both of your and her fingers when ~~she’s on top of you~~ walking together?

peaceful_creeper · 2024-08-18T12:00:19+00:00

Women need more than a handsome face to feel attraction. I will even go so far as to say that in many cases, a handsome face may not even be part of the equation if the woman is looking to feel ‘attracted’. It’s dependent on a lot of things, some of which will have nothing to do with you.

Eezay · 2024-08-18T12:29:37+00:00

If this is a one timer - who cares, just move on. If this regularly happens to you - you are probably too nice/gentle/predictable or however you want to put it. Just a few quick ideas for your next date:

Be more straightforward with your attraction, especially in your sub-communication. Sit close, touch her, push/pull, hold eye contact.
Don't be afraid to touch on romantic, dating or sexual topics - this signals that you are indeed on a date and it plants some ideas in her head inadvertantly.
Have fun - humor her, mock her playfully, don't treat a date like a job interview.
Show boundaries - don't pamper her and treat her like a princess. You barely know her. Instead, flip the script, YOU are trying to find out if SHE is a good fit for you. Escape the mindset of you having to present yourself to win her over. I think I saw this when I was ~17 on a video by Julien and this is maybe the one thing that has sticked most with me of any seduction content: 'Stop being a seller, start being a buyer'. One of the quickest and simplest fixes for your mindset there is.

DaygameCode · 2024-08-18T13:24:34+00:00

Being handsome is a quality a person has. Someone can objectively be handsome, good looking, and you may still not be attracted to that person.

Take a look for example at a family member, maybe your sister is objectively good looking, or you brother or cousin, are good looking, or handsome. But you are still not attracted to them because they are family and you don’t feel any attraction towards them.

Attraction is an emotional state, not a quality. When someone feels attracted to you, they are emotionally invested in you in a way that draws them in to you and makes them feel arousal and sexual tension.

You could even happen to be ugly and some woman could still be attracted to you despite being ugly. Because you are confusing the feeling of attraction with the quality of being physically attractive. While they sound similar, they don’t mean the same thing.

appolonysian · 2024-08-18T13:59:04+00:00

Women prioritize intangibles over looks, so don’t think you’ve got it made cause she thinks you look nice.

Two intangibles that really matter are whether: 1) you can (or appear to be able) to offer an emotionally engaging experience for her, and 2) if you’re the kind of guy she can feel comfortable relinquishing control in the presence of.

If either of those are lacking, she won’t feel a spark.

srwat · 2024-08-18T10:12:56+00:00

From a quick glance at this, it seems like you failed the social skills portion. You need to subtly increase your kino throughout the date, and continue building momentum as long as you keep getting positive reception. Then you will be ready for the good old random (hopefully you set up for this earlier in the conversation), “at my place, I have blah blah blah album, ill be on my way home shortly to listen to it on my vinyl player, come along with me” or basically any excuse for you guys to arrive at a private place.

Don’t take your failure as a permanent stain on yourself. It is just an error or errors that can easily be corrected for the next one.

burncushlikewood · 2024-08-18T08:04:33+00:00

There are three phases of seduction, first attraction, then comfort, then seduction. The attraction phase requires you to demonstrate high value, physical attraction is determined instantly by her, but when she says she's not attracted to you even though you're good looking it could be many reasons as to why shes not attracted to you, it could be a speech issue, you could be smothering her and giving enough space, it could a social skills issue, or maybe she thinks you lack ambition and drive, or maybe she just doesn't feel a emotional connection or spark with you

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-08-18T09:49:04+00:00

handsome != attraction.
Some women even say it to cushion the blow of rejection.
You have to be sexy. They are two different things.

SamShelby7 · 2024-08-18T09:46:46+00:00

Maybe she likes men who are more of a tough guy or something. Maybe she has daddy issues and wanted a more masculine father figure

thorium43 · 2024-08-18T11:12:09+00:00

Describe the conversation in depth.

Public-Equal-3271 · 2024-08-18T11:27:17+00:00

No I will be honest I did not

Public-Equal-3271 · 2024-08-18T13:34:47+00:00

Guys thank you for all your responses and advice I appreciate it sorry I can't get back to everyone...also I'm not a nice guy but I act to sweet is that a turn of for women, e.g I open doors pull chairs for them etc.

skulleater666 · 2024-08-18T15:13:27+00:00

You have to show dominance in some way. Subtle signs you are not a push over or that youd be willing to protect her. Make sure you are challenging her on her ideas at times during convo that you are passionate about your own interests regardless of what others think, and that you can assert yourself in social situations.

No-Custard-1468 · 2024-08-19T10:17:08+00:00

Yeah, I think physical attraction is not just what you can see in a picture, but also mannerisms, tone of voice, and overall vibe. It makes it harder to use OLD; you can only tell after meeting IRL.

Might feel like a waste of time and good banter, but preferences, what you gonna do? On to the next one!

PS: From a woman's POV, reading these other comments... touching and sexy flirting would creep me out, not make me change my attraction levels. Those only work if I'm already attracted to someone.

Original_Ten · 2024-08-20T06:33:27+00:00

I’m struggling with this right now! I’ve been on a few dates with a handsome guy, great personality…but something is just not clicking for me about him. Can’t say what it is, because I can’t think of anything bad about him. It’s just the attraction for since reason isn’t there. He kissed me on our last date and it just felt off. I keep waiting for something to click but it just hasn’t. Not sure if I keep dating him or just give up.

Amazing_Noise_5945 · 2024-08-20T14:37:37+00:00

I’m struggling with this issue too. I think maybe some men and women just don’t match. Doesn’t matter how amazing you are some women just don’t feel it.

One-Resort-107 · 2024-09-01T08:53:26+00:00

attraction is not just physical for women but also I think she's quick to judge that if you only went to one date. it's not like you can get feelings in a day. she just wasn't that interested.

Dandys3107 · 2024-08-18T11:42:30+00:00

I guess you didn't escalate towards anything sexual. Emotionally flat topics, lack of touch, little connection, not presenting sexually atttractive masculine traits, not pushing intimacy barriers etc. make her think that you are either incompetent or not that sexually attracted to her, which is a big turnoff.

Title	No attraction
Author	Public-Equal-3271
Upvotes	16
Comments	73
Date	August 18, 2024 7:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ev3v3e/no_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/no-attraction.1527623 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527623

Comments