POINTERS for things that men should not do if they want to get laid

2021-11-11T17:47:38+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JohnZoffman · 2021-11-11T19:49:18+00:00

This is well thought out, well written, and seems like really good advice, well done!

I remembered AMS on youtube saying that he would approach a girl, ask for number, and if she wasnt interested, he would leave respectfully, cause he also said that women will be nice just to avoid getting slapped or some other stuff.

Can i ask you, when you see a guy you find attractive, is your first thought "i would like to fuck him" or more like "i would like to get to know him" ?

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-11-11T17:32:42+00:00

That rollerskating story gave me Ted Bundy vibes.

Great tips OP! There is a balance between being bold and not being creepy.

traybro · 2021-11-11T18:19:04+00:00

There’s a lot of people here that think running up to a random chick on the streets from behind is a normal way of picking up chicks because of YouTube cold approach videos, so don’t be surprised if you get a lot of negative feedback

thepro189 · 2021-11-11T19:44:42+00:00

Is it okay to approach a girl who always looks at you, even when you arent looking at her and she tries to get your eye contact in return?

I feel like this has always been a good indicator that approaching someone is okay in that scenario.

areeves1985 · 2021-11-11T20:41:08+00:00

As a guy, I always follow these tips with anyone. It’s called common decency and respect and in my 36 years, I have seen the steady decline of these things. It just breaks my heart that there are so many guys out there who just care about getting to the goal and not enjoying the journey to get there.

thecuriouschimp7 · 2021-11-11T22:46:57+00:00

"I have never had a successful date from someone approaching me in public"

lists public places to approach women

recursivePasta · 2021-11-11T19:15:47+00:00

100% agree, do not follow girls.

Give yourself 3 sec, if you can't approach, let her go.

When approaching in uncomfortable locations, always tell the girl exactly why you are there, and call out how bad the location is. This is called statement of empathy.

Tbh all these encounters OP had are with cold approach hobbyist, someone with experience will never make a girl feel this way. So I'm sorry OP for you bad exp.

2021-11-11T19:31:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T19:13:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T19:52:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-11-11T21:41:36+00:00

Good post. Very informative.

2021-11-11T22:05:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MaxwellBlyat · 2021-11-11T23:10:43+00:00

Damn, being a decent person is actually the key to get laid...

2021-11-11T17:32:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

avgwhtcoupleATL · 2021-11-11T17:27:58+00:00

Awesome. Ty

TAXAGQ · 2021-11-11T18:23:56+00:00

@thecuriouschimp7...well thanks a lot stranger girl... You really shed on light on many aspects and that being a gentleman is not yesteryear.. Kudos on the last POINT you made.. This was ESSENTIAL. Thanks from a guy in his 20s.You rock girl!! 🌟👌

2021-11-11T22:09:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T22:37:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2021-11-11T20:05:33+00:00

It might not work with you, OP, but I've had really positive responses from women I approached in malls/grocery stores.

flmanta · 2021-11-11T23:12:41+00:00

Cafe is (risky) but bar totally fine.

cool cool.

2021-11-11T21:11:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T22:18:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ShyShredder · 2021-11-11T20:12:24+00:00

As a guy who is mostly into nerdy music, has his own hobbies and hates dancing and/or the night clubs, and was planning to approach girls on the street but always felt that doing that was not alright, you kind of made me lose hope now, yo. Maybe I'll try a place on our university a few times where lots of girls are, but I am not sure anymore if that differs from the street at all. I mean they are basically random people. Jeez I'm stuck in my head again

thecuriouschimp7 · 2021-11-11T21:27:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

whotfiswho_ · 2021-11-11T20:04:06+00:00

What are your thoughts on being approached in the gym?

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-11T21:59:49+00:00

I want to add something here that is vitally important for men to understand and accept - without any bullshit or excuses, just accept as fact.

It has been widely acknowledged that 80% of women have had at least some level of forced sexual event/assault perpetuated on them.

If you start from a place of accepting and understanding that she lives in FEAR of us AT ALL TIMES OF HER LIFE and that it is our responsibility to make sure that she feels safe and comfortable, you will not have any issues.

And while there are absolutely no guarantees that will get you with her, laid or even friends or acknowledged, it’s just the way it has to be and then if she does decline or reject you, fucking respect that and WALK AWAY. It wasn’t meant to be for whatever reason. And that’s her reason and her right.

Aquix · 2021-11-11T23:06:01+00:00

She will feel amazed and surprised by this, and want to make it your first priority.

So why do you think it's a problem if it's already the first thing on their mind? You want sex, he wants sex, yet it's an issue if he straight up asks to fuck, right? And for some reason, women still think that guys will just randomly try to befriend them for platonic reasons. Of course he wants to have sex with you - doesn't matter if it's at the roller skating park or in a bookstore. Him NOT wanting this would be the outlier.

I know everything you suggested works perfectly fine (with a few exceptions), but I wonder if you notice how ridiculous society has conditioned women to be.

We made a whole plan for what we would do instead and I could feel that he genuinely wanted to spend time with me, as opposed to have sex with me for personal satisfaction.

What's the problem with wanting to have sex for personal satisfaction? That's why people have sex. You're not having sex for charity. Safety is indeed a rational reason for women to be cautious. Where things get ridiculous though, is when some women pretend like it's not okay to just want to have sex. It doesn't mean that he doesn't like you, just because he wants to have sex with you (see how this sounds so silly?).

Society has also conditioned women to believe that guys who try to get laid fast (instead of going on 50 dates) are ONLY interested in fucking and leaving. That's simply not the case. Consensual sex is one of the ultimate forms of trust-sharing (even you should be able to agree with this), so when you've successfully completed such a milestone, you're already sure you can trust them to a (relatively) high degree. It also gives you valuable information about compatibility (did you enjoy it? what's their personality like in the bedroom? etc).

There are so many paradoxical ideas. At least reread your own words once. It cannot be this hard to notice.

The unfortunate truth is that meeting in public (subway, park, cafe) is just not sexy

Safer places to approach:park

I totally believe you when you describe your own feelings in those examples ("I didn't feel safe, I wasn't attracted in that moment, etc"). But then when you try to come up with reasons for why, that's where things go wrong and you start feeding men bad advice. By nature, you're biologically wired to already be biased towards protecting yourself and other women in society, so you'd never say something that acknowledges the double standards or how silly most of you behave when it comes to sex (it's okay if men look bad though).

Even if you are good looking or a girl likes you, she will most likely not trust you in a public area or what your intentions are. She will ONLY be nice to protect herself, in the case that you're crazy and lash out on her from aggression.

False. Some women might only be nice to you to protect themselves, but many women will be nice because they're decent fucking human beings OR because they are actually attracted to you! The task then, for the guy, is to navigate the situation to ascertain which of the two is the case (this is I prefer direct approaches instead of indirect, so I don't have to spend more time getting the same result).

Actual good advice for men: mentally note down what this lady said about her feelings. Calibrate yourselves such that they "feel" safe. Because really it's all just a feeling. There is no true safety here. Don't agree? Think about it for a moment. You talk about all the possible public places you can be, with your house as a "last option". She feels safer and eventually goes back home with you. Is she safer though? She's simply using a few initial (easy to manipulate) cues to predict what you will do in the future. Statistically, it might be a good gauge to determine safety, but it also might be because most guys simply aren't trying to kill or rape women (and the ones that are, haven't taken the time or effort into learning how to calibrate themselves to demonstrate social norms).

The guy that followed her home might have been trying to work up the courage to say something the whole time. That might have been the first girl he's ever approached and she might have been his "dream girl". Who's to say? The girl's instinct is to think, "he's a dangerous creep, red flag, get out asap", which is understandable, but not necessarily true. The guy will likely learn from that scenario, calibrate, and have more success next time.

Approach everywhere, whether it's at a cafe, grocery store, gas station, comicon, bus stop, or park. Read a few daygame articles (preferably written by MEN with experience). This whole thing about, "it's not sexy" is completely false. It's all about your approach, not the venue. You do have to demonstrate social awareness to accommodate for the venue, but don't take on this idea that women are gonna shoot you down because of where you are. That's exactly the shit that cause men to be so afraid to approach. The average guy has so much approach anxiety that it pisses me off when I see women trying to fuel it with their BS. If you're on the street, she'll likely be wary of solicitors and thieves, so one of your first tasks is to remove or alleviate her suspicion by stating your intent. For eg. "Hey, I saw you from across the street and had to run over to say hello because I thought you were gorgeous! I'm Aquix, what's your name?" Body language and how you actually stop her is important too (watch some pickup videos to learn how). Once you fine-tune things and get over these obstacles, you can get numbers and instant dates from literally anywhere (on an airplane, in a classroom, at the bank, etc). If she isn't interested, she'll turn you down or ignore you, and you carry on with your life. Some will have sex with you that same day! How will you know unless you approach? Just be respectful, be okay with no as an acceptable answer, and demonstrate social awareness (if you don't have it, approach more and try out different things while learning from the massive amount of resources out there).

2021-11-11T19:36:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T19:57:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T19:59:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

recyclablebanthas · 2021-11-11T23:28:40+00:00

Note to a number of guys commenting on the idea of women wanting to feel safe:

A.) This is literally what the concept of building comfort is about in Mystery Method.

This isn't an old concept: The idea that you need to have some connection and level of trust built up with someone you're intending to pick up on. She's not going to have trust if she doesn't feel safe around you.

Those of you who have gotten defensive about this ought to ask why you would have this reaction simply because it's a girl who has rephrased this core concept.

B.) This is a very old concept. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Security is one of the first things anyone needs.

CBguy1983 · 2021-11-11T18:53:17+00:00

I’ve learned long time ago stop being nice. Stop trying to be her white knight. Being an as*hole gets more attention. I’ve seen too many being nice and it gets them in the brother zone.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-11-11T20:34:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T18:10:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2021-11-11T21:58:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheSoulsCrusher · 2021-11-11T22:59:40+00:00

Thx for that

Title	POINTERS for things that men should not do if they want to get laid
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	621
Comments	102
Date	November 11, 2021 5:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qrq8dj/pointers_for_things_that_men_should_not_do_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/pointers-for-things-that-men-should-not-do-if-they.1272505 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272505

Comments