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[–]jackbrux98 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (19 children) | Copy Link
To add, I think it's a terrible idea to acknowledge it, e.g. "This is kinda creepy but we should go out for lunch". Similar thing when inviting a girl over: "Come round! I'm not a crazy rapist murderer!". Don't do it.
If you feel the need I suppose you could say "random" instead of creepy, but I think you should just act like asking someone out is a normal thing that you do all the time.
[–]ninjamuffin 32 points33 points34 points 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Its not random at all for a guy to ask a cute girl on a date...
[–]jackbrux-1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the situation, if you've just met them on the street it kinda is
[–][deleted] 56 points57 points58 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
No, it isn't. This is exactly the type of attitude OP is talking about. Your negative self-image is hurting you. If you're a quality man then a woman should be lucky that you're taking an interest and asking her out.
[–]jackbrux15 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
"Random" is a very hard to define word. In this context I mean it as something out of the ordinary.
[–]DorkusMalorkuss 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would say random is more in line with the word "spontaneous" but unfortunately, has a bit of a negative spin to it in greater culture.
sitting around watching TV with friends
"Dude, we should go paintballing!"
"What the hell? That was random..."
After having a good time driving back from paintballing
"That was pretty spontaneous! We should do that again!"
In these particular cases, you could use these words interchangeably, but typically wouldn't as they wouldn't quite fit due to their negative/positive connotations.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If asking out women is out of the ordinary for you, then I suggest you do it more often. Furthermore, the street is an excellent place to meet women. Seriously. I'm not talking sketchy back-alleys, I'm talking about heavily-populated downtown-type areas.
[–]TalesAbound1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, it is. What the OP says doesn't magically change reality.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you think the "reality" is that women don't like being asked out then your reality is very different from mine.
[–]4J5533T6SZ9 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's creepy to want to get to know another adult better or want to bone them after a brief encounter? Wow. I must be way more of a pervert than I thought.
[–]ninjamuffin 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
im saying the reasoning for him to ask her is never random. Guys are expected to be attracted to girls.
[–]Exya 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
same with saying oh this is awkward, everytime there is some silence
[–]ContemplativeOctopus 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If you feel the need I suppose you could say "random" instead of creepy
Or just don't say anything fucking weird and instead just ask her out to lunch.
[–]jackbrux1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
The guys at the daygame podcast actually use random a lot. Maybe cause I'm from the UK it's a bit different
[–]ContemplativeOctopus 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't use random, that's what edgy middle schoolers say unless you are using it in a very literal context.
[–]bogeyegod 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Conversely, pretending to be a murderer has gotten me laid.
[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I'm from Brazil, maybe things are different here. When a girl is interested and I give the slightest indication that I find them hot, and I don't act, usually they think I'm creepy. Much less creepy is being rejected.
[–]jamieoneal82 22 points23 points24 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think this is a good point. Failing to approach or escalate comes off as weak and incongruent, which is usually interpreted as being creepy.
[–]Gravyness 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hah, Brazilian here, and this is spot on. If I held eye contact for 3 seconds, they know I'm up to something, and I already had situations that I took too long to act (when you think you're ready to every situation and a 10 sits by your side), and it made the girl very uncomfortable when I started conversation. I now have to walk around with a mindset of "Say hi quick".
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had girls complaining I took too long to say hi, just because I said hi the second time I saw them. And if I take too long to break the ice when a girl is by my side and displays any dubious IOI whatsoever, sometimes the girl becomes uncomfortable - does she think I'm pre-rejecting her? I don't know. They never think that I could be too shy. Maybe it is a cultural thing and we are supposed to be nice around strangers. Flirting is an integral part of our lives, even with friends. I'm not very good at this, but trying hard to get better.
[–]Radicalmattitude1 32 points33 points34 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If you want to get good at seduction , you're going to come off as "creepy" from time to time.
Don't be ashamed of this. Just get over it .
Ask a girl to describe a "creepy" guy to you. It's actually hard to put a finger on, they just know a creepy guy when they see him.
The ironic thing is that many times you are walking a thin line between, edgy/confident and weird/creepy. The trick is to calibrate on the right side of the fence.
[–]4J5533T6SZ9 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't understand why this comment even needs to be made in this subreddit. I can't think of a more foundational concept in my (potentially wrong) understanding of how seduction works.
[–]weezywayne 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Someone has read Models.
[–]Radicalmattitude1 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha ya I read it a while ago. Mason pretty much confirmed for me what I thought I already learned from experience. It's a great book -- skips all the gimmicky stuff and gets to the heart of it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup and the only way to be more consistently on the right side of that fence is to practice.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]chrismakestv 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good word chuck
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When I was heavy into the night game scene my friends would always call me creepy.
While they were wall hugging and I was smiling and laughing talking to scantly clad young women.
[–]TheSicilianDude 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't stand negative people who try to bring you down like that. For that reason I stopped going out to meet girls with those kinds of people.
[–]borntoperform 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
This is my mindset: you have to risk being creepy, or rude, or disrespectful if you want to be good with interacting with people.
My day job is sales, so I talk to people all day. My conversations with customers can't all be one huge release of dopamine, where I make the customer feel good about the product. I have to create tension as well by challenging the person, showing risk, consequences, etc. Drawing a parallel of this with pick up and seduction, you take jabs at her, challenge her, break rapport for the purpose of seeing if she's a good fit for you, just like when I see if a prospect is a good fit for me and what I sell. I risk prospects swearing at me, demanding to complain to my boss, and all that. But I'm also a great salesman, because enough customer have told me I've done the best presentations they've ever seen.
Don't worry about the outcome, for you are the prize regardless of the what the girl thinks of you or not.
I love push-pull routines, because I do them for work: "You know I don't think you're a good fit for our product." is the same as telling a girl, "You're a Lakers fan? Ugh, I don't think we can get along." I'm pushing them away, and they either come back on their own or I can reel them back in myself with a pull like "What other teams do you root for then? Oh the A's? Ok, you've redeemed yourself a little bit right there."
For some people and some girls, I am rude. I am loud. I am annoying. That's cool, I don't care what you think. We wouldn't get along anyway. See what I did there?
[–]pacg 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dunno. I've given plenty of complements to women I've never met and they seem to take it really well. The key as I reckon it is never expect anything in return, not even a thank you (because it's not about them), don't linger like you're waiting for something to happen, and always be sincere.
[–]Amapola_ 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pointing this out isn't going inject confidence or self esteem in anyone, which is the root problem here.
I read this as "Hey you know how you're being creepy, you should just stop. I mean, I believe in myself. I understand that being worried about being creepy is detrimental, and you might too but just stop it okay? tks."
[–]0coo1 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Seduction, turning creeps into casanovas.
[–]Not_Brannigan 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Trying to avoid being seen as creepy really interferes with your game, and is the epitome of a lack of confidence.
[–]delphinauge 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If the fear of being creepy holds you back, you're a pussy! Why? You care way too much about what girls will think of you!
Use common sense, do not act completely psycho and if a girl still thinks you're creepy she has an identity issue regarding her sexuality, next.
Fuck all the concerns, do what you what and stop caring so much about what girls will think of you, you pussies!
[–]Sugababy22 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're in the game of pick up, then you will come off as creepy at more than one point to certain women. It's just something you have to realize and accept.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It really does, sometimes things I say here get called creepy, and I'm just laughing to myself. I check back here sometimes, but I'm un-subbed because of the paranoid teenagers with super ego protection.
Look, if a girl likes you (BELIEVE IT OR NOT GIRLS LIKE YOU IF YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE TO THEM), you can get away with saying things you guys think are "creepy". Creepy is what some guys do, maybe even you guys who think my comments are creepy:
Keep talking to girls, about random shit, and never ever taking any risks to make sexual jokes, touch them, or move things forward. That's creepy, you keep talking, and she asks herself, "Is this kid ever going to fuck me?". Believe it or not, girls won't bend over for you, you need to escalate to intimacy. Because god forbid your whole fucking fantasy world comes crashing down if this one girl you're infatuated with happens to not be interested in you. Then, here's the kicker, you need to go find a new girl that likes you!
Thanks, best post on here in a minute, I look down on a lot of posts here as confused people who are just beginners. Re-subbed.
Let's give a super easy example to some of you:
If a hot ass model with a great sense of self and ambitious personality said, "Do you enjoy talking to me? Do you want to keep spending time with me? Then let's go somewhere quieter than here ;)" you'd eat it up, if I said it to you, and you're not gay, you'd think it's creepy. Now imagine James Bond or Leo DiCaprio saying that to a girl, she'd eat it up, why? BECAUSE THEY ARE ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN!
Crazy epiphanies today, gentlemen.
P.S. This isn't really directed at this sub as a whole, some contributors are genuinely thankful for my advice/comments, and the mods here for the most part know all their shit.
[–]lulalars 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who the fuck cares! It is better to do something and look like a creep than to do nothing. And there's millions of girls out there. You will find another girl.
[–]GalwayUW 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think sometimes people mean to say something like "not classy". Meeting someone by randomly grinding up behind her can be said to be "creepy", but really it's 100% not classy. Be better men.
[–]rmbarnes 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Creepy guys get laid.
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[–]jackbrux98 points [recovered] (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]ninjamuffin 32 points33 points34 points (10 children) | Copy Link
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[–]jackbrux15 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]TalesAbound1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]jackbrux1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 52 points53 points54 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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