Struggling With Escalation on Dates

epimpstyle · 2025-06-25T13:02:29+00:00

Don't start with gentle touches/brushing her arm mate! It is already too much... actually it is even huge!

At first, you need to have a playful attitude; make jokes, tell funny stories. This way, it will be easier to touch her as a way of talking.

For example, you can lightly touch her shoulder with the back of your palm as a way to tell her: 'Oh, by the way, did I tell you... bla bla bla bla.' It's an innocent and normal touch.

If she says something and you agree with her point of view, give her a high five (once is enough).

You can tell her, 'Come here, I'll tell you a secret,' and then hug her around her neck as you whisper a secret into her ear "I'm thirsty, I need a drink" or if everything went well so far: "do you know where a bush is? Otherwise, I'm going to pee my pants"

You can force a touch in case she says something funny, and you lightly punch her shoulder, saying: 'Ouch, that hurts, you're strong! Are you a bodybuilder or a pro-weightlifter? Let me see your biceps.'

If you walk side by side, you can bump into her or place your arm on her shoulder, telling her: 'Hold on, I want to see something on the wall,' or 'Hey, stop, we're going that way,' pointing in a different direction.

Later, you can compare hand sizes, which is also a perfect moment to check her ring or bracelet but make sure you have a funny/interesting story or joke about a ring/bracelet otherwise it is weird.

There are all kinds of such innocent touches, but they are created to get her used to being touched. Slowly, you reach the level where you can tell her: 'Come sit on my lap and tell Santa what you need for Christmas'.

I've also read about the importance of holding your frame

Forget what you've read about holding frames, is not that easy. Later, when you have more experience, you'll be able to maintain a good frame throughout the conversation. For now, don't bother with it. At the moment, it's important to just have a friendly attitude, be positive, optimistic and playful.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-06-25T14:19:34+00:00

You don't have to progress and continue onward with more dates if women are not passing the vibe check or otherwise meeting your perception of someone you could see yourself being with in the future. I've had multiple LTR and even a marriage at this point, so I'm not going to play games if she's not showing interest. It's okay to move on and find someone more compatible and kinetic with you.

liftingnstuff · 2025-06-25T15:53:35+00:00

Are you escalating verbally while/before escalating physically? It doesn't make a lot of sense to be escalating physically while talking about boring get to know you stuff or platonic conversation topics. Escalating physically is about increasing connection, so you should be escalating during moments when you're creating an emotional peak. I would suggest flirting/teasing more and you'll likely be surprised at how much more natural inserting physical escalation in during those moments feels.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-06-25T21:19:38+00:00

Make sure you have a minimum base of rapport in place . She should be at least ok to hug you back if you hug her for example.
Verbally: make sexual remarks or compliments in a progressive way . Start relatively innocent and keep going up as long as she is receptive to it .
Physically, think in order : Arms and shoulders Face and neck Torso and legs Intimate parts

Touching her in that order, you should be safe , but at the same time impactful.

Feel free to reach out if you have questions. I escalate so smoothly I'm often able to kiss girls in the street in 15 minutes or less.

Matter_Still · 2025-06-25T10:40:32+00:00

These apps are used by no more than 30% of women. Even if you believe that’s 30% each, or a total of 60%, that’s 40%+ who don’t.

Furthermore, men typically outnumber women as users on these apps by a 3:1 margin.

Why would anyone knowingly confront such competition unless they did not have the skill to approach women in their day-to-day lives?

appmanga · 2025-06-25T12:18:30+00:00

So my question is what am I doing wrong

The issue isn't about what you're doing wrong. The issue is what else are you doing?

Establishing touch is great, but what are you doing to build trust, affinity, and connection? What are you doing to capture her imagination?

You can't make a cake by using flour alone. More ingredients are required.

kenbsmith3 · 2025-06-25T18:32:51+00:00

It just doesn't sound like you're building enough sexual tension

WorldlinessOne5920 · 2025-08-20T19:09:53+00:00

How do you know they want to be touched ? Did you ask? Was alcohol involved ?

Final_Ad_5377 · 2025-06-25T08:20:07+00:00

I will present a question, sorry if I'm not giving an answer. How have you gotten 4 dates in a short amount of time on Hinge? Are you vibing with the girls over Hinge text, or asking them out within hours? I struggle hard with Hinge. You can check my profile.

weaster43 · 2025-06-25T11:07:12+00:00

Think you misunderstand the idea of „maintaining frame“. Pushing against someone‘s disinterest and lack of reciprocation isn‘t „holding frame“ it‘s being blind to obvious signals.

The fact that you mention „not getting reactions“ or „date didn‘t lead to sex“ could indicate a search for validation and being outcome dependent, something women can clearly tell.

If you‘re self-aware enough to notice these reactions from women then you should react more acordingly. You need to lead with emotional awareness rather than going over a physical checklist. If she doesn‘t match your energy, learn to pull back, not push forward.

Life-Income2986 · 2025-06-25T08:54:08+00:00

If you think the point of a first date is to fuck, you are not sharing the same reality as 95% of women. Occasionally, the natural chemistry between two people is such that sex just happens on a first date. Much like a one night stand. But that is not normal. The women don't fucking know you. You are a stranger. The first date is to find out who the fuck you are and if you spend it trying to feel them up guess what their conclusion would be? Holy shit. Treat them like people for fucks sake.

chamcham123 · 2025-06-25T15:49:13+00:00

She’s supposed to be touching you first.

Title	Struggling With Escalation on Dates
Author	FrankMiller_
Upvotes	27
Comments	21
Date	June 25, 2025 7:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ljz76a/struggling_with_escalation_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-with-escalation-on-dates.1555525 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555525

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