I think one of the biggest sticking points I’ve always had when it came to dating has been trying to convey my personality as attractively as possible. But the problem with that is, which part of my personality should I show? This is something that I think a lot of guys struggle with when it comes to dating. It seems like you have to be somewhat different than you normally are with people at work, school, gatherings etc. and that can be frustrating.

This is also why I think being a “nice guy” doesn’t work. Socially it works pretty well because why df would I NOT want to hang around people who are nice? But dating wise, being nice doesn’t create the “spark” that makes you attractive: polarization.

Being polarizing helps weed out people who wouldn’t naturally jell with you because you’re not a “One Size Fits All” piece of clothing. And in a social setting, being polarizing is actually really bad because it will just get you into unnecessary drama, fights, and just ostracized . However, your ability to be unapologetic and raw is what makes you attractive to your dating niche. Sarcasm, bold humor, playfulness, assertiveness, aloofness, and even flirting are all things that lead to success dating wise but can spell your doom socially (unless you’re with close friends or something).

I know it seems relatively simple but it’s important to point out why you sort of need two personalities. One for your romantic life and one for basically everything else. However, realistically the lines can get kind of blurred and you will start to see it less as “I’m wearing a mask” and more of like “right tool for the right job”.