When do you apply persistence vs just moving on?

nikgos · 2021-01-04T19:27:39+00:00

Depends. In most cases it's better to just move on. If you are gonna be seeing her regularly there might be a chance that you can turn things around although it's unlikely.

I was in a similar situation where I asked a girl out and she said she had a boyfriend but I was interacting with her once or twice per week. I stepped back a bit but I was still joking around with her and I was still flirting with her a bit (without crossing any boundaries of course). At first she was feeling a bit awkward probably expecting me to act weird but after a few interactions in which I was being 100% normal she kinda figured that I wasn't gonna be weird so she relaxed.

Eventually there was a point at which she broke up with her boyfriend (I found through another person). Probably I could have asked her out again at this point as I was sure that she was attracted to me but I don't know it just didn't feel right plus I lost interest eventually.

My advice is to do something like that if you are gonna be interacting with her over the next weeks but honestly I wouldn't expect much out of it.

caesarfecit · 2021-01-04T19:36:40+00:00

Really depends on the vibe.

I'd say the key variable is how did things go wrong and how willing you are and she is.

If it's just some little hiccup or something beyond your control went pear-shaped then why not.

But if there's just no chemistry (or worse anti-chemistry)...

If you feel you have to force it or it's taking too much effort....

If she just doesn't seem into it or isn't making an effort...

Then it's best to cut bait.

The "fuck yes, or no" rule also applies here. If you're not enthusiastic about someone, or there's obvious friction, or your better instincts are saying "it's a trap", then it's time to be smart.

Sometimes if it takes too much effort to turn a situation around, that in and of itself is a sign. This shit isn't supposed to be hard, especially if you both want it.

401kisfun · 2021-01-04T20:28:24+00:00

Anything but a yes and where am I meeting you is a no. Plain and simple. It is a complete waste of time to interpret a response any other way than that. Guys should not chase women at all. Even ONE follow up is kissing ass. Why give someone that much attention who clearly doesn’t care about you? I am shocked that either girls or guys, in this current climate, would want to encourage any type of behavior besides ask once.

VisualAd2408 · 2021-01-04T20:37:59+00:00

Keep trying as long as you are interested. Many women like to be pursued, and it isn't necessarily 'a game'. The pursuit is part of the attraction, and they don't have the attraction until they have it.

Perhaps an atypical situation, but my current GF (40F) started out as FWB. This was made very clear by her when it began. On that same day I made my intentions very clear -- I wanted more than FWB. I warned her that I would be persistent. And I wasn't her type.

Then over a period of a couple of months of persistence (and lots of sex) she started warming up to the idea. I made it a point to be there for her emotionally, take every opportunity to be around her, and build trust. Show her I wasn't like her Exes and maybe I was genuinely worth getting involved with.

Now we are dating. And things are escalating rather quickly.

LavenderFish · 2021-01-04T21:47:37+00:00

You’re not supposed to be persistent. Show your interest then after that let her be attracted to you. Talk to girls hotter than her and make me laugh she’ll see you having a good time and will be drawn to u by social proof

Philipparty · 2021-01-05T09:05:12+00:00

Depends on how early. In say a nightclub, you can get instantly rejected, but talk to the same girl an hour later and she will be down.

Irl, persistence is for when she hasent decided no or yes yet. If you get a no after an hour or more, you wont change her mind unless you yourself change. Mabye you have different humor, mabye she is really superficiall, mabye she is getting over someone.

If she has made a somewhat educated no, then youre chasing someone who doesnt like you. Its worthless and draining. Be a cool dude with her still, cause there is a chance she might change in the future

AllYouDoIsDisagree3 · 2021-01-05T13:26:51+00:00

If she's not giving a number out, tell her to have a good night and move on. Persistence typically only works with a girl that you are already dating. Girls love confidence and persistence shows that. Confidence doesn't matter if she isn't into you though. Many other girls out there, and you want one that wants you. All that being said though if she's being playful about it, be playful back and shoot your shot after a few more drinks or minutes. If she's not being playful move on. Ill suggest corey wayne's 3% man book. Great book and a great relationship coach.

BuffaloBart2 · 2021-01-05T02:21:47+00:00

Finally I got her to say yes all it took was a week in the basement. Thanks Stockholm syndrome!

wallynext · 2021-01-04T22:00:24+00:00

If you are asking this question, it is time to let go and move on

chizhi1234 · 2021-01-04T19:24:51+00:00

Genergy84 · 2021-01-04T19:35:14+00:00

No means no. It's a full sentence. It is not the beginning of some negotiation, or a reason to strategize to get whoever you are pursuing to change their mind.

Blaze_Origin · 2021-01-04T19:51:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Spirited-Influence20 · 2021-01-05T03:02:05+00:00

2I morning w

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eyesopen1111 · 2021-01-05T07:23:37+00:00

You need a dating coach or a friend who is good with girls to observe you until you develop your own erotic vigilance. First, you should know how to calibrate your escalations based on what response you are getting from the girl. Timing, style, and manner of seduction depend on your ability to read the girl. This is the PUA's way of avoiding the mistake of asking an unattracted girl on a date in the first place.

If you do fuck up and over-escalate in this way, consequently triggering a rejection by the girl, then (1)use humor to dispel awkwardness and (2) start to rebuild sexual tension to re-attract the girl.

Seduction is any process that makes the girl more receptive to you and your sexual advances, so get back to figuring out the girl's psychological profile/blueprint. Maybe you change her mood with a funny story, or maybe you get her talking about her passions, or maybe you tease her. Vibe with the girl and probe her emotional side.

With respest to when to give up on a girl, that depends on what other options you have and how badly you want to get laid.

2021-01-04T20:26:25+00:00

I know someone who once told me that if your dick ain’t in her mouth on the first date, it never will be

jamieboy17 · 2021-01-04T21:39:09+00:00

When you do you do bruh

Datingcoachcee · 2021-01-05T02:00:50+00:00

Is this a girl you're talking through on a dating app or are you asking about whether you should ask a girl who you know in the real world out?

Radicalmattitude1 · 2021-01-05T06:58:03+00:00

Depends what kind of rejection you’re talking about. If you try to kiss her on a date and she just moves her head away, try again later. If you ask her out and she says she’s not interested, better to move on.

Is it possible to turn an interaction around? Yes, almost always. But theres a point of diminishing returns where you’re efforts are better spent on pursuing other options. You have to find that point so you can strike a balance between being persistent and moving on. This comes with practice and setting healthy boundaries in your life. Do not underestimate how quickly you should be moving on.

winstonsmithairstrp1 · 2021-01-05T18:26:30+00:00

Never.

Maybe you've heard of this little thing called #metoo. No matter how perfect she is, she isn't worth potentially hurting her, creating a situation you regret later, or unexpectedly getting into anything that could end up with policemen at your door hours, days, weeks, or years later.

If she isn't totally clearly into you, you walk and find someone who is.

You want a sex partner or relationship partner who is wild about you anyway, not someone you've convinced to be maybe lukewarm to you. And you don't want to persist and end up so invested in winning her over that you risk pushing things too hard.

Fun_Goat_4879 · 2021-01-05T18:33:24+00:00

depends on how perceptive you are.

I tend to know within a few seconds whether a girl is attracted to me or not. I know one can't convince a girl to be attracted, and so I tend to eject fast nowadays

I spent a few years trying to 'plow' using PUA stuff, but it honestly doesn't work

Title	When do you apply persistence vs just moving on?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	98
Comments	58
Date	January 4, 2021 6:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kqex4c/when_do_you_apply_persistence_vs_just_moving_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-do-you-apply-persistence-vs-just-moving-on.1309520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309520

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