Why is Seduction So Complicated?

cycleskunks · 2019-10-22T02:55:43+00:00

Bro, if it was easy everyone would be out here banging hotties.

PinacoladaSauce · 2019-10-22T03:43:47+00:00

It isn’t. You want 3 fundamentals?

Silence that negative voice in your head, have fun, repeat steps one and two as needed.

Come on man lighten up don’t be a Debbie downer

GomboAndGimlee · 2019-10-22T03:05:14+00:00

Something I rarely see talked about is how important your location is. The same guy might do poorly in one city but do great in another.

RaptorMan333 · 2019-10-22T03:46:28+00:00

Take Care Pride In Your Appearance (clothes, shoes, hair, hygiene, teeth, etc.) - it DOES make a difference. Have your own unique style. Eat healthy.
Don't Be CHEAP - Be generous. Be a giver. This opens your mind, heart and spirit to receive a womans feminine nature in many wonderful ways outside of sex itself, which is usually a mans goal for "seduction". When giving, don't expect anything in return. This is why most women hate compliments from men, because they feel (and, rightfully so) that most men who "give" anything want "something back", be it their phone numbers, a convo more than "thank you", or sex. That's a manipulator and "player" or "gamer", as they call it in the community. True givers are secure in themselves and can GIVE to women not expecting anything. When you have this mindset and heart, women open up to give generously of themselves, but it has to be genuine coming from you first. And, most men are genuine. They "give" as a tactic or strategy for something in return.
Cherry Pick - Don't shotgun approach random women you don't like as "practice". They're not human targets to emotionally play with. When you ONLY approach women YOU are genuinely attracted to, guess what? You don't have to PLAY GAMES or be SEDUCTIVE; you free yourself, to be yourself. It's hard work to be seductive when you only want the girl for "one thing" or if you're just "playing the field", then you have to work at it. But if she really turns you on mentally, physically, sexually, biologically, emotionally and spiritually, she picks up on it!
Be You - It's cliche, but true. I have a strong sense of humor, so I often open convo's with women with a joke or observation. The 1st thing that pops in my mind I'll say without fear and it works for me because it's not at the woman's (or someone elses) expense. 9/10, I simply say how I feel about a woman. If I think, "Wow! She's very attractive" I will walk up to her and say exactly what I think and feel. Don't GUARD the way you feel about a girl. Just TELL HER you love her hair if that's your first impression of her. Don't over think.
Don't Watch Porn, Jack Off, or Ejaculate - When you pollute your mind with impure thoughts of women, it will ALWAYS leech out and cause a "creepy" vibe in women. It's hard to mask this. So if you have a porn vice, kill it FAST. If you masturbate, stop cold turkey. If you ejaculate, aim to never do it again. Why? Semen is like fuel. That same powerful drive we have to want to get rid of it is what DRIVES US to pursue life and women in the first place. Aim to keep ALL your power and a lot of the details will handle itself naturally; energetically, without you thinking about each logical step.

These are just the guidelines I follow that work and never fail me. No real rules. More like a "style", I suppose. A way of life. If you try to apply each man's specific logic and approach to meeting/dating women, you are making it harder for yourself to be your authentic self. The guidelines above leave plenty of room for you to be you without compromising who you are for pickup lines you would never say, jokes you would never tell, or doing things to/for a woman you'd never do.

HighValueDayGame · 2019-10-22T05:20:18+00:00

The high level is simple and easy to remember:

Be happy of your own life (women not in the equation here).
Max out your Fundamentals.
Talk to women casually (they are not a big deal) but make sure you actually talk to them.

When you've got these three things in check, the "what to say to girls" thing will pretty much disappear. But the devil is in the detail, of course. I just recently launched a blog to share my view on game and life. To me it all reverts around the above three points, and if you want to have a look the index of all posts ever released in here. But I've only just started.

ZollJo · 2019-10-22T13:03:56+00:00

My dickish answer: It isn't. It only SEEMS to be.

Seduction happened since humanity was born. More brutal in ancient times to more sophisticated in todays age.

Sexual attraction is a combination of physical appearance ( body language, clothing, hygene) and behaviour. So, the first one you easily change. If your balding, just shave your head. If you don't have a beard, shave or use minoxidil. Go shopping with some female friends or ask some guy friends that are stylish. Most people feel validated if you ask for their help in style. Hygene....come on ya. The second one is behaviour.

This is where opinions tend to differ. One way is to alter your behaviour so it attracts as many beautiful women as possible. To wear the mask of the seducer and fuck a lot of girls. Been there, done that. It's complicated to constantly change yourself into the preferred model.

But, tell you what. It feels empty after a while. I felt disconnected, unable to forge meaningful bonds. I developed a bit of commitment anxiety. I was unhappy in spite of getting the girls.

So, whats the second way ? The second way, is the way that I prefer. A good mixture of true, raw self expression/Authenticity and presenting myself. I'll explain the second one first, because it's shorter. Why presenting ? Imagine a genius artist sitting in a basement. He lives down there with everything he needs and paints the most beautiful pictures the world has ever seen. At some point he dies in his basement. Nobody was ever to see his paintings. Similar with your true personality. Some may say they are shy. Well, no problem. But to meet people you still gotta get out of the house!

Raw self expression. At first I'd like to emphasize that YOU are not static. The concept of who you are and what you are capable of is a dynamic construct built out of real experiences and suggestions in your own mind. And this construct is you. You with all your needs and wants. Your character and all that little cute quirks. SO, how does this help with seduction ?

Raw and true self expression shows immense confidence, because you are putting yourself out there unafraid (at time maybe a little afraid) of the consequences. "But what if my character is unattractive?" you may ask. Remember your character is a dynamic construct, which you can alter through certain habits. You are a little overweight ? Make working out a habit. And soon you will identify with your chosen sport. (Same with Art, Languages....) And if you are worrying about your core character traits.....don't. With true self expression you will not attract ALL the girls, but the right ones.

Your choice. Both are fine. Wear the seducers mask and fuck a ton of girls if you want to. Find out for yourself, if it makes you happy.

My recommendation is finding out what you want, go your way, express honestly and take chances. Be bold.

Cheers.

canseiDeSerEnganado · 2019-10-22T00:29:22+00:00

It isnt. But the coaches need to make some money.

My fundamentals: dont be needy, take risks and have attitude.

drdavidbanner20 · 2019-10-22T00:34:13+00:00

Meet woman.
Ask woman out.
Go on date with woman.
Have sex with woman.
Have relationship with woman.

manonpoint_com · 2019-10-22T03:27:48+00:00

It's not complicated theoretically, but like many things in life, doing it well is complicated. With that said there are a few simple tips that can help you, such as making eye contact when speaking, not being afraid to approach, make your intentions clear, and be your best self (dress well, clean up well, workout)

thaheroyoudeserve · 2019-10-22T04:02:03+00:00

I think it’s because “Calibration” is key in deduction. Women are different, but some time you can see certain patterns in certain types of women. What works with one, might not work with another. What works in one situation with one woman, might not with in a different situation with the same woman. So all you can do is gain experience, and learn to calibrate according to what you have learned among the way

eyesopen1111 · 2019-10-22T05:53:34+00:00

I mean, there are various simple frameworks for understanding seductive relationships and how they develop. "Find, meet, attract, and close" is a good example. These are helpful milestones to keep in mind.

But if you want to get good, just embrace the complexity and work smart (and hard). Become a pick-up material connoisseur. There are many types of women and relationships--don’t try to dumb it down. Master it.

But I think that you are better

Imperator_Pyra · 2019-10-22T06:27:36+00:00

I'd say that seduction is simple - not easy, but simple.

Some PUA systems make it more complex than it needs to be.

Yes, there's a lot of theory involved, various mindsets, but 90% of what you need is covered in the following:

Always try to look your best (and take care of your hygiene!).
Get out of the house and talk to women.
Hold strong eye contact.
Touch the woman you're talking to and try to progress from casual touching to something more seductive or romantic.
Do not passively wait for signals, actively try to "seal the deal", and go for what you really want.

bournit · 2019-10-22T07:19:47+00:00

Of course it's complicated : it's the only biological purpose and the only reason for which we have our body and minds man !

We are practically designed to do this, but this doesn't mean that we have to not have the struggle. Exspecially if you consider how much in human history has been accomplished to avoid rejections, to stay safe and to not get out of your comfort zone.

Technology, society and all those things made us working and living more efficiently but being less alpha, not going for what we want, hoping instead of acting, waiting instead of making things.

We now need to get back in our bodies. As human, we passed the last 100 years gratifying ourselves about how well are we connectwd on a intellectual level, now we need to be more aware then ever in human history about what really means being an animal between animals. So, go out and do the work ;)

OutsideRemote · 2019-10-22T07:20:26+00:00

It's kind of not. That's why every professional PUA does basically everything completely different but proclaim that their way is the only way and is the correct way (so mystery will say be indirect, do this do that, don't show intent until x etc etc. RSD will say be direct don't worry about x and x, show intent straight away, a different PUA will do it completely different agian in terms of verbals and rules etc)

It's basically a way for people to make money from you.

Seduction in the true sense of the word (basically MAKING someone into you) isn't even really a thing. PUA's, just like the rest of us, are simply playing the numbers game and sleeping with girls that were already interested in them

I call that 'game' rather than 'seduction' (Which barely even exists in the original definition of the word. Women decide within seconds of meeting a man if they will sleep with him. There's no ridiculous PUA skillz where she's disgusted then you whisper Omlette Du Fromage in her ear Dexter's lab style and she's suddenly turned on!! :)).

And that's not to take anything away from them as lots of guys without 'game' fail to bang girls that ARE into them - they fail to escalate for example.

But it's not rocket science! There's almost nothing to 'learn' when it comes to game - it's actually almost completely about trying to rid yourself of your inhibitions and anxiety when it comes to girls.

You open her (this causes anxiety). Doesn't matter what you say. Just don't open too 'weak' - you chat about whatever. ''What you say doesn't matter''. You come across as kind of confident (through your lack of anxiety and body language etc). You escalate (either verbally or physically. Requires being 'brave'!). IF she's into it, You close.

The fact that every coach breaks each others rules means you don't need to worry about rules thus it's not 'complicated'

What makes it feel complicated is that people assume they done something 'wrong' when they get rejected when they approach someone but you could have the best game in the world and get rejected 200 times in a row if your happen too not ber her type!

Relax. Approach. Have fun. Escalate.

bettermyself365 · 2019-10-22T13:36:35+00:00

Thanks man

Cacho_Later · 2019-10-22T01:51:08+00:00

It's a science. Breaking down signs, acting on signs, having no inhibitions, openers, closing, banter. It's a beautiful art that we all gotta reflect on in our daily ventures in the world of seduction.

smoothmax · 2019-10-22T02:26:40+00:00

PUA strategies are simple. Be as good looking and confident as possible. Understand yourself and understand women.

But where to begin?

Game is straightforward but recognizing and stripping away previously learned, unsatisfactory attitudes and habits is complicated because they're so ingrained.

Every guy finds certain things easy and other things hard. The hard things are called his "sticking points".

What are yours? If you haven't read up and studied game then you might have a hard time recognizing them and describing them.

The reason why PUA books are so long is because they have an opening paragraph as above, followed by many chapters describing typical sticking points and how to fix them.

BornShook · 2019-10-22T04:15:53+00:00

Read the mystery method. It's the closest thing to a scientific breakdown on pickup out there. It's also really well written and easy to follow. I've read it (via audiobook) 3 times to internalize it.

I don't care what people say about that book. People regularly try to discredit it (probably because if it got the credit it deserved, nobody would buy any other pickup books ever again), but it is the holy grail of pickup.

He breaks things up into different phases. Basically it goes like this:

Attraction---->Comfort----->Seduction---->Sex

He (mystery) breaks each phase down further in the book.

Tldr; Read the mystery method. "Seduction [is] so complicated" because you cannot skip the attraction and comfort phases.

You must make a girl attracted to you, and make them feel comfortable around you before you seduce them. This should take hours (he talks more about this in the book, but it's 7 hours on average).

magnetradio · 2019-10-22T07:30:14+00:00

A clear mind is a confident mind.
Aim for mutual respect
Learn how to accept yourself more and learn how to amuse yourself.

These are simple and it makes you more attractive to women.

When your mind is clear, you know what you want and don't want. You start seeing things you didn't see before because you're not stuck in your head. You stop mentally masturbating about what you want because you're clear on going for it and tweaking the things that are preventing you from getting it. You don't self-sabotage or wallow in self-pity because this is what you don't want and you're clear on that.

Mutual respect is very underrated in learning how to attract women. When you respect women, and command respect from women, they feel better around you. You're not an asshole, but you're not a pushover either.

Self acceptance is something even the most successful men can have a problem with. Some guys fake it til they make it, but have to keep faking who they are. This can make you bitter towards women and you'll fuck up #2. When you amuse yourself, you'll start talking to women and approaching women not because you want the girl to like you, but you're seeing how the interaction goes. If she rejects you,

"Okay, I found out she's not interested or has a boyfriend"

If she likes you,

"Cool, she accepts me the way I accept me"

There's way more to it than these three things, but it's a really good start that changed my life.

Title	Why is Seduction So Complicated?
Author	bettermyself365
Upvotes	26
Comments	43
Date	October 22, 2019 12:23 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dl9nms/why_is_seduction_so_complicated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-seduction-so-complicated.1292339 https://theredarchive.com/post/1292339

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