Wondering what thoughts are on this specific situation and general how-to: What do you do when you see an attractive girl passing by on the street or in public transportation?

nonatal · 2011-07-12T19:46:05+00:00

You get kudos just for trying. Really, from my (female) perspective trying to hit me up when I'm walking along the street in a big city is like you trying to get across flowing lava. My shields are way way high, I'm prepared for anything from getting mugged to being approached by ye-random-creepy-cultists. Flirting's so not on the list, even if I wasn't married.

Now if you're in a small town and it's a nice day and your HB's just out doing errands and enjoying the sunshine, much easier.

perkileaks · 2011-07-12T18:12:00+00:00

The amount of girls I see on the bus, on the train, or just walking through town centres is incredible. I wish I had the balls to talk to any of them at all.

KidStrangelove · 2011-07-12T18:07:14+00:00

I have a go-to line that I use for public transportation:

First, you need to make eye contact and flash her a smile, this is important. afterward, you say:

you: You know, I just had to say hi, before this turns into a Craigslist missed connection.

She will usually laugh or ask you what a craigslist missed connection is.

you: here's the thing, I'm not ridiculously shy, and you don't seem like you're dangerously full of yourself, so I don't know how craigslist missed connections will work for us. ((guys on that are super pussies and girls usually say that they just came back from a date with derek jeter while holding her law and medical degrees but then she saw you))

Then i just talk about how hilarious craigslist is and take it from there:)

frogma · 2011-07-12T19:55:11+00:00

One little "trick" I do on the street is ask them if they're headed toward X place. They'll say yes or no and tell you where they're headed, then I say "Cool, mind if I walk with you?" (or just "Cool, I'll walk with you"). It almost always works- actually I don't think it's ever "failed"- and it's pretty easy to segue into other shit from there. If I do a good job I'll end up hanging out with them for a few hours and then invite them somewhere (on a college campus usually) or just get the number/leave if my logistics aren't good.

Edit: And on public transportation I usually open situationally- if she's got a book I'll make a comment on it; if she's got a phone I'll ask about it. It's usually pretty easy to make conversation there- just walk right over, sit down next to her, then immediately smile/open (or feel free to wait a few seconds and get comfortable).

Edit again: I also want to point out- the hardest parts of day game are the initial approach and the close. Everything else (flirting, conversing in general) is pretty fuckin easy. For night game it's easier to approach (for me at least), but the middle parts can be difficult. I was also gonna say what senator_mendoza said: you used a direct approach, which is cool- and it probably would've worked better if you were more confident- but I hate direct approaches. It's like a hit-and-run where you lay your cards on the table and the ball is totally in her court. There's really no need to go that direct unless you know you only have a couple minutes to talk- and even then you can probably open more indirectly and still be able to pull it off. Direct is bold, but IMO it sets up a pretty shitty frame for you unless you really know what you're doing.

senator_mendoza · 2011-07-12T20:00:19+00:00

well no one else is gonna say it apparently, but that was some majorly weak game dude. not trying to make you feel bad, but you shouldn't open girls like that. it made her feel awkward which is the complete opposite of what you're aiming for.

personally i think it's easiest to just start with something innocent and ramp up from there. make a situational comment to her with a banter line or two, then throw a "oh hey by the way" question at her, then work in some good material. like say you just get on the bus or something and stand next to a really hot girl

you: holy hell it's hot out.... i'm seriously thinking of hiring some girls to walk around behind me and fan me with those big leaves like in ancient egypt or whatever

her: polite laugh

you: oh hey, by the way, i've never really taken this bus before, but i'm trying to get to whateverstore, i was just gonna wing it, but you look like the kinda girl who'd know where that is smile

her: heeyyyy what makes you say that??

and then work in some good material. the bold part is key. always sparks interest. other variations are "yeah you WOULD say that", or "yeah, you look like a whatevercollege girl", stuff like that. it's playful and fun and when they ask you why you say that you can tease them about something.

and if anyone else is watching? FUCK EM. whatever. if they appreciate the fact that you have the balls to approach a girl in broad daylight then awesome. if they don't like it then what do you care?

CuilRunnings · 2011-07-12T18:48:25+00:00

My first reaction when seeing a hot girl used to be to amplify her hotness in my mind. Now, my first reaction is to "ping" with a simple "Hi" and just be friendly from there.

SedditorX · 2011-07-12T22:31:07+00:00

Props on having the balls to approach.

funnyish · 2011-07-12T17:56:33+00:00

Mystery was saying how moving targets are very hard because you're supposed to start moving in their direction, get in front of them and then open from your shoulder - I think that's one thing you could've done. Another is to stop her and ask for directions and then try to move the conversation forward from there - I actually tried that yesterday and she stopped and gave me directions, but she left right after that cuz I still suck at conversations and I couldn't think of a topic fast enough :( The key is not to show too much interest - I think if you don't do that you have a better chance. You have to be the prize and she has to be chasing you.

Also as far as being nervous - someone here said "Feel the emotion, control the behavior." We all feel approach anxiety, it's perfectly natural. Don't let it show however and definitely don't tell the girl "I feel nervous." I find that the 3 second rule helped me tremendously - when you see the girl you're supposed to be talking with her in 3 seconds. If you feel super nervous and start stuttering or your mind just blocks - that's fine you'll learn to control it with time.

journeytonowhere · 2011-07-13T02:53:27+00:00

Not too bad, even though you were nervous and awkward, you pushed through. There will be plenty of opportunities to get your confidence up. I love taking the public transit, sometimes at a bus stop, you can ask about a bus route, "did the 6 come by already?" or something like that. I find a lot of folks have headphones on, one thing I've tried and worked, if I sit next to a girl with headphones on the bus, I will reach over to show her my playlist, say "check this out" and have her listen for a bit.

A very simple practice to get your nerves calmed is to just say high to everybody. If your girl is walking toward you, give her a high five! Its fun, you don't have to say anything, low risk because she is leaving, but you practice making eye contact, smiling, etc.

I used to use direct approaches (I wanted to let you know that I think you're really pretty) a lot more before I got into game. I don't use it that much but it can be useful if you want to to make someone feel nice. Also, depends a lot of course on your body langauge.

Edit: I've been posting a little about my public transportation trips lately. Here

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/iiv16/fr_day_game_opening_a_date_i_had_and_advice/ and here http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/inyp9/fr_date_last_night_practiced_closing_today/

the thing a like about public is that everyone is trained to mind their own business and be all serious in public, so if you good out with a good, friendly attitude, you can set yourself apart and brighten someone's day

yourthoughts · 2011-07-12T23:02:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nonatal · 2011-07-12T23:39:59+00:00

One thought occurred to me as I was off working. There is one way to crack through that public street armor. If someone'd make me laugh, my guard would be lowered even if just a little. I mean laugh out loud funny, though, so you need to have a really killer joke or something else that's hilarious. I'd be more likely to see that person as a person rather than a potential threat.

2011-07-13T10:25:12+00:00

Soon after opening with the 'just wanted to say hi' opener, I think it might be a good idea to throw in something like

'I am sure guys come up to you all the time, right?'

to which she will reply laughing and saying no, and simultaneously be reminded of how bold your move was compared to all the men that just give her looks but don't have the balls to actually make a move.

Just a thought though, I could be wrong? Anybody ever tried this?

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-07-12T19:03:36+00:00

I notice them and I have one of two choices.

Open immediately, without hesitation.
Ignore them completely. Don't even look at them.

2 is an important exercise for me. Guys who have an abundance mentality don't need to sneak peeks at hot girls. Staring at girls makes you look like a needy horndog. You are a needy horndog. Of course I get a LOT more practice ignoring girls than I ever do opening them.

yourthoughts · 2011-07-12T18:56:55+00:00

Here's another situation I was in about five minutes after the one I described in my original post above.

I saw another attractive girl and I decided I needed to man-up and try again, just to see. "I might as well," I thought. So I approached but this time I said, "Excuse me, do you know where X street is?" English was not her first language so she didn't know my correct pronunciation of it. I then said it the literal but incorrect way (the way it's spelled) and she knew and pointed in the direction I'd need to walk. During this short exchange so far, I had already felt a little uneasy. Then I asked, "Do you know the area well?" And she hesitated a little and took out her phone from her purse and tried to map it. I got closer and stood by her side and she showed me on her phone where the street was. "We are here, and so this is the street you want here. Is this the right street you want?", she said while pointing at the map. I said it was, and she pointed again in the same direction.

By this point, I noticed that there was a guy standing several feet away who was looking at us (he was an older guy who worked at the establishment next to us) and so I felt a little awkward trying anything at all while he was there. And then as I looked back at the phone and to her, I just folded and gave up. I thanked her and she gave me this odd look as if to say, "Oh that's it? That was kind of weird and a waste of my time." And she walked away.

Now that I think about it, I should have just mustered the courage to at least ask her name and pushed all the way through like I did with the first girl. I would have either crashed and burned (very likely) or been successful (unlikely) but at least I would have done my best at the time. I usually get hung up on this sort of thing but I consider this only an experiment so I feel like nothing was lost too much today.

If there are any thoughts to this as well that might differ from thoughts about my original post, I'd be curious to hear.

lasagnaman · 2011-08-04T22:54:44+00:00

the interaction told me that she just would have felt awkward almost no matter what.

This is not true. If you were more confident it would not have been as awkward.

Wondering what thoughts are on this specific situation and general how-to: What do you do when you see an attractive girl passing by on the street or in public transportation?

Comments

2 is an important exercise for me. Guys who have an abundance mentality don't need to sneak peeks at hot girls. Staring at girls makes you look like a needy horndog. You are a needy horndog. Of course I get a LOT more practice ignoring girls than I ever do opening them.

Title	Wondering what thoughts are on this specific situation and general how-to: What do you do when you see an attractive girl passing by on the street or in public transportation?
Author	yourthoughts
Upvotes	44
Comments	81
Date	July 12, 2011 3:49 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/inhtm/wondering_what_thoughts_are_on_this_specific/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/wondering-what-thoughts-are-on-this-specific.1320159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320159