Thoughts on Subtle Asian Dating?

SamuelaTheThrifty · 2020-11-28T20:49:31+00:00

I’m not an FDS expert by any means but I don’t like the idea of being auctioned off as a product.

I can also see it being problematic if you have pick-me friends and family as well as LVM/NVM among your family because they’re likely going to view your standards unfavourably.

As for women “shooting their shot”, I think the handbook is pretty clear about waiting for the man to approach.

szb8 · 2020-11-28T20:42:37+00:00

Hell no!

AverageToHot · 2020-11-28T22:02:54+00:00

It’s primarily done for entertainment and clout. I won’t take it too seriously. The best way to meet a potential partner is still in person.

luckyshvara · 2020-11-28T21:02:15+00:00

It will not work outside of a small vacuum, and it seems like the modern woman's equivalent of the Russian bride.

Random men know they owe random women nothing, and going through an agency that is slightly better than OLD will likely produce results only slightly better than those found on Tinder.

We have no societal bonds stopping another woman from trying to "steal" a man who thought three years ago you were the most compatible love of his life, and has now changed his mind, or has had his friends change it for him.

Other than a societal revolution, there is no real way to really get the depth required in a relationship that would override the married man's option to lie, cheat, and steal.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-11-28T20:55:20+00:00

HELL NO.

Read the handbook.

2020-11-28T21:23:08+00:00

[deleted]

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-11-28T21:40:22+00:00

This sounds terrible, also if it’s in Asia I’m sure there’s a lot of colorism(caste system) and sexism involved. No ty I’m not a cow to be auctioned off.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-11-28T20:53:39+00:00

I've never heard of this before, but it could be because you know (looks at skin) I'm not Asian. But I did look somethings up:

Here is the google slides for information and overall summary of the group: Slides
Here is the group itself: Group

I do think they restrict themselves by putting Asian in the title. And if they want to market to a bigger audience they may want to allow everyone to be there. Not all Asian men and women date Asian men in women. In fact Asian women date/ marry outside their race more than any other race of women in the USA. As a Afro-Latina I am not welcomed or so they say " Due to our nature as an AAPI-focused group, we will only be approving AAPI hypes at this time. AAPI: Asian-American or Pacific Islander (Includes but is not limited to people of the Far East, Southeast Asia, South Asia, or the pacific Islands)" So it 1. Excludes most of FDS populations, 2. It treats you like a good waiting to be sold. So it's doing to be a no for me dog.

Edit: Maybe FDS should make one of these groups with all the rules that apply.

curlygirl507 · 2020-11-29T00:34:40+00:00

Not Asian, but wanted to mention that I used to be very involved in a young professionals organization that was mainly Asian, sponsored by an Asian education nonprofit, and it was a great way for Asian people to meet and date each other.

sarstarss · 2020-11-29T00:52:23+00:00

Interesting. I’m South Asian and hadn’t heard of this before but seems oddly similar to an arranged marriage type of scenario. I can see why you would be open to it but I personally wouldn’t want to get myself into that type of situation. Like you, the cultural and language aspect is important to me which more often than not has minimized the men that I am interested in. However, I find that in these types of situations it is very surface level pros and cons and is a way of you running into people that will likely only want to date you for the financial aspect you may bring to the relationship than you itself. It’s almost inviting people that will prey on you to date you. I would suggest even in OLD to not include what you actually do for a living. That’s just me.

I would say if you wish to meet like minded people join meetups, events and groups where you will meet people of similar backgrounds. I find compatibility is such a delicate thing that you need to find it for yourself. Just my two cents :)

fireforestfairy · 2020-11-29T07:49:45+00:00

I'm Asian and I know about SAD. Tbh I sometimes suspect people do this as a joke for their friends, sort of like some entertaining way to help them find a partner.

I remember having a conversation with a friend and she said SAD probably would not work for finding a relationship. Most of the posts include people living very far away from you and nobody wants an LDR.

hapahunnie · 2020-11-28T22:55:51+00:00

Seems a little too close to the concept of picture brides wrapped up with a trendy bow and group name. I’d stay away from it and get involved in local AAPI events, groups, sports leagues, or churches or if you’re doing apps you could filter for Asian men/women on Coffee Meets Bagel. The app is lowkey not the best but it could work for some people. But yeah it doesn’t sit right with me to auction yourself off given how commoditized Asian women are to begin with.

burntbpd · 2020-11-29T03:00:24+00:00

I joined subtle curry dating.... And left in 20 minutes. Nope. Nada. Nope nope nope. Even pickme me wouldn't be that desperate.

Suitcase33 · 2020-11-29T05:25:30+00:00

Everyones acting up like online dating isnt this but much worse yet many fds members r on those and its never gotten this type of reaction before.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-11-29T23:45:58+00:00

The difference between this and online dating is you are allowing a third party to set your value, and they are going to set it according to "conventional taste" AKA "what men value" (because patriarchy) AKA undervaluing you as a person because what makes any of us special to a real HVM isn't going to be superficial traits that can be listed off. At least with OLD, you can not only list what you feel is important, but you can put exactly what YOU want/are looking for in your profile.

Also what makes ANY of the men shooting their shots even worthy of getting to shoot their shot? At least with arranged marriages/matchmaking, there is some screening for the men as well I think? With this, it sounds like they don't need any sort of qualification.

Title	Thoughts on Subtle Asian Dating?
Author	savethebeetrees
Upvotes	26
Comments	40
Date	November 28, 2020 6:37 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k2iygi/thoughts_on_subtle_asian_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-subtle-asian-dating.651297 https://theredarchive.com/post/651297

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