Actual Relationship Research

purplethrows · 2014-11-10T15:25:02+00:00

Redpill advocates that you need to be both the AF and the BB in a long term relationship for it to work. By posting this question, you show just how little you actually know. Why don't you do some research beforehand next time before posting?

justskatedude · 2014-11-10T23:54:01+00:00

Tbh I really like this article.

The examples of happy relationships don't sound blue pilly to me. And not like they contradict red pill theory.

The most interesting part to me was the one about responses to something one's partner says. The passive destructive, active destructive, passive constructive and active constructive response.

The active constructive response is what I think many men really want to have and miss deeply in their life. I have thought about it a lot in the last few months but didn't have a name for it.

Unfortunately, empirically it seems to me that if a man is perceived as an alpha (in red pill terms) he is more likely to receive an "active constructive" response than if he is perceived as a beta male.

I am a bit mind blown after reading this because the article gives a term to something I was thinking about a lot lately, especially in the context of evaluating friendships that were important to me.

[deleted] · 2014-11-11T05:25:40+00:00

First of all redpill is about sexual strategy and most people are assuming you're sleeping with multiple women at ince, dropping the older ones wgile picking up new ones.

Redpill is already aware of what you've posted. It is well known in RP that if you want an LTR you're going to need to be more beta. However red pill advocates not letting yourself get walked all over.

What constitutes a successful LTR? Is an LTR successful if the man gas to give up his freedoms to maintain it?

SirNemesis · 2014-11-11T07:30:06+00:00

Comfort is necessary to make the LTR last. However, what's the point in being able to make an LTR last if you can't start one in the first place? Attraction is crucial for this.

roe_ · 2014-11-10T17:26:57+00:00

Think of marriage as an iterated prisoner's dilemma between two agents.

If both agents are co-operators - cool! Good relationship! Both agents get their needs met, and pay the cost of meeting the other partner's needs.

The problem is, a lot of men come to the red pill playing a co-operator with a defector. She gets all her needs met, he's miserable. Boo!

And there's an entire "blue pill" culture and memetic structure around getting men to play co-operator to her defector all the time. Marriage counselling plays into this a lot (judging from the horror stories around the 'sphere on this).

So TRP gets men to defect, putting both partners in a costly attractor basin which sucks for both partners. This is called "destabilizing your marriage."

But... from there, you can start negotiating towards mutual co-operation again.

Which is what I think those articles advocate.

myfatbrokethewall · 2014-11-10T20:41:49+00:00

My impression is that mainstream TRP is not about marriage/serious marriage-like relationships.

/r/marriedredpill is a tiny sub compared to the main sub (under 1k subscribers, compared to over 80k for the main sub).

I clicked on the "LTR" flair on the main TRP sub and it had only 3 pages of posts. This is for a sub with 80k subscribers.

The "Off Topic" has >10 pages (I stopped clicking "next" so I don't know how many more than 10 pages, if someone more reddity than I am knows how to see post count for flairs maybe they can post the actual numbers...).

I would be seriously wary of applying any of their beliefs to LTRs, it does not seem to be their specialty.

Just look at how negative they are about providing. What? Being a provider is a huge deal, arguably a man's purpose in a family. They are quite negative about providing/beta bucks. Here is a popular post about 50 Shades of Grey where the truth shines through:

http://www.np.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2bppze/there_is_no_rape_in_50_shades/

Anastasia (the main character) is a plain, no personality, average and un-noticed girl, with one beta orbiter. Oh yeah, and a virgin too.

Christian Grey is a BILLIONAIRE. The city's most powerful man, who is self-made by the way. Oh yeah, he's incredibly attractive, super fit, and well hung.

By doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING other than being a clumsy asshole, Anastasia somehow makes Mr. Super Alpha fall under her spell.

HE COURTS HER!!! He doesn't abduct her and rape her, ravish her, or anything else like that. The motherfucker stalks the shit out of her, but it's okay because he's hot and rich.

And buys her shit.

And takes her for rides in his helicopter.

He NEVER does anything to her sexually without her consent. SHE's in control the whole time.

He takes time out of his very busy day full of multi-million dollar deals just to make sure she is well taken care of.

He falls in love with her and completely debases himself because even though she has no personality at all, he somehow has fallen completely in love with her.

,

He says he wants her some more, she says she's not sure. He shows her around town in his helicopter, which HE pilots. He shows her his incredible penthouse apartment with servants and assistants. He tells her he wants her, she says she's thinking about it. More alpha fucks.

,

She likes the sex, agrees to more. He "dominates" her by setting her up with an awesome job interview (which she DIDN'T want him to do). He further dominates her by replacing her piece of shit car with a brand spanking new one (what an oppressive asshole) . He buys her a new computer and dominates her buy telling her she has to use it to email him. It's total beta bucks.

,

This book isn't about the sex, it's about the female fantasy of instantly checking out of the sexual marketplace with the highest Alpha attainable who also has pledged his complete beta servitude to her. He's hot, rich, well hung, and knows how to keep sex interesting but not TOO dangerous. He tells her what to do, where to be, how to do it. It's fine for her to listen, because he's rich, smart, and powerful. Other people defer to him, so it's OK for her to do so too. He also makes sure she has no need that's unmet, money will NEVER be an issue. That's the kind of "domination" women are after.

My impression is that TRPers will tell you providing is not attractive. Yet according to that summary of the book Christian Grey is a great provider, and as I understand 50 Shades of Grey is very popular.

How many TRPers are even in successful serious marriage-like relationships (or marriages)?

[deleted] · 2014-11-11T08:57:52+00:00

First of all redpill is about sexual strategy and most people are assuming you're sleeping with multiple women at ince, dropping the older ones wgile picking up new ones.

Redpill is already aware of what you've posted. It is well known in RP that if you want an LTR you're going to need to be more beta. However red pill advocates not letting yourself get walked all over.

What constitutes a successful LTR? Is an LTR successful if the man gas to give up his freedoms to maintain it?

Michael_in_Hatbox · 2014-11-10T23:00:53+00:00

pretty much the opposite of what red pillers advocate, to not be kind

That is such a warped distillation of the red pill philosophy that I don't even know where to begin.

Plugawy_Nedznik · 2014-11-10T18:26:31+00:00

They found kindness and generosity were key in lasting relationships, and aggression, hostility, and selfishness were common in relationships that didn't last.

None of the studies you linked says that.

Title	Actual Relationship Research
Author	taiboworks
Upvotes	18
Comments	114
Date	November 10, 2014 3:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/2lv49a/actual_relationship_research/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/actual-relationship-research.284392 https://theredarchive.com/post/284392

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