Men that pedestalize women almost always lack strong male bonds and friendships

says_harsh_things · 2017-04-12T12:42:46+00:00

So, if I don't need women, why and how am I even supposed to approach them? This whole "the one who is less invested wins" approach to dating sounds so depressing and borderline sociopathic.

wtknight · 2017-04-12T12:09:34+00:00

I think what you describe is sometimes the case but not always. You can have a group of nerdy guys that all pedestalize women. Just because they are all friends with each other doesn't keep them from doing it.

jackandjill22 · 2017-04-12T17:03:00+00:00

No, it's the opposite.

Men pedestalize women when they have no real women friends. Because if you actually get to know women you realize they are just people, even the beautiful ones. They fart. They have BO. They say stupid shit sometimes. They talk about their periods and their bloating. The "awe" goes away. They become human to you. Talking to regular humans is not hard. Talking to a HB9 can be intimidating to a lot of guys.

See the difference?

OP's advice is shitty because it keeps women at a distance and makes every single interaction with them a challenging mission fraught with anxiety and confusion. It's tense for no reason. Additionally, the only way you depedestalize women using this method is through sexism and misogyny. Dehumanize them, turn them into "things" and the mystery vanishes. Call it the "bitches ain't shit but his hoes and tricks" school of thought (which pretty much sums up red pill).

Turning women into the enemy will indeed depedestalize them, but it's not the only way to get over your anxiety.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-04-12T13:25:14+00:00

If it's true, then why are so many men "lacking strong male binds and friendships?" How did they get that way? Who let them down?

says_harsh_things · 2017-04-12T12:56:31+00:00

my pet theory is that a lot of these guys are either only children or isolated by age from their siblings (like they're either significantly older or younger and don't relate to each other.) because in my experience, sibling interaction will teach you social skills and sisters especially will teach you that women are just people. you naturally look up to your mom and other elder women-- you're supposed to-- but sisters you can throw down with. a male role model is helpful, but only inasmuch as he takes an active role in explaining things to his son and modeling good behaviors, which-- let's be real-- is a crapshoot with a lot of parents.

ProbablyBelievesIt · 2017-04-12T12:27:21+00:00

Or, they could just be exposed to some really shit men, and some pretty inspiring women. Kids tend to stereotype and project all over the place.

Edit: It's also easy to do, if you know men too well (people are a mixed bag) and women not at all. Tradcons do it all the time.

If they're at all decent human beings, the adult world will cure them of it, soon enough.

[deleted] · 2017-04-12T13:30:40+00:00

Men who are poor with women will say anything to make it not their fault. They will ignore all the successful, respectful men just to make their case.

Why are you listening to what they say? Watch what they do to see what they're doing wrong, amirite RPers? ;)

HugMuffin · 2017-04-12T14:04:22+00:00

So am I just supposed to take your word for it that these trends exist or do you have any proof? Cause my experience runs counter to yours on these fronts, and without some sort of support, I have no reason to agree with you.

locriology · 2017-04-12T15:52:26+00:00

Ironically, back in my days of being a "nice guy" it was my inability to form genuine friendships with girls that led to pedestalizing them. I didn't know how to maintain a platonic friendship with a girl, so I ended up falling in love with every single one I met. It was only once I found a really tight-knit social circle of both guys and girls that I was able to develop more healthy relationships with women.

exit_sandman · 2017-04-12T18:30:54+00:00

The real reason these men cannot drop their "undiminishing" respect for women is because of fear of losing (most times their only) companionship.

My advice to these men is to strive towards forming strong bonds with other men.

As someone who has had a lot of problems in the romantic realm, your assumption is quite strange to me.

The problem with these guys is less that women are their only source of companionship, but that they don't have an idea of how to deal with women; and the same goes for their friends.

My advice would be to strive towards forming strong bonds with cool no-nonsense guys and learn from them. And try to adopt their approach to women instead of rejecting it because it isn't feminist-approved.

VermiciousKnidzz · 2017-04-12T12:24:07+00:00

The real reason these men cannot drop their "undiminishing" respect for women is because of fear of losing

I don't know if this goes for all men, but I have to tell you something right now, there is not a single woman on this entire Earth that I respect holistically enough to look up to them as a role model, like 99.99% of men don't respect women, at all. I like women a lot, don't get me wrong, but respect is something very specific. I could never have respect for someone I'd wanna fuck.

they're the best kind of bond in the entire world(bonus:that's why women shame them

Holy shit, you're gonna get shamed no matter what, why even care, so silly and stuff. OOH NO SOME WOMAN DOESN'T LIKE ME HAVING FRIENDS, QUICK CALL 9-11 AND THE HUMAN RIGHTS EMBASSY, THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY IS BEING COMMITTED AS WE SPEAK!!!!!!

Your whole problem stems from being too agreeable with other people. Being agreeable doesn't work in most situations and won't get you jack in life.

When you form strong as a rock male friendships

What's this even supposed to look like?

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Aaren_Augustine · 2017-04-12T12:44:35+00:00

Mirror mirror on the wall...You can't form strong bonds with other men if you aren't a man yourself. Gotta build quality.

You're just removing pussy and replacing it with friends. Get rid of the pedestalize all together.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-04-12T12:46:16+00:00

You see it all the time. Men complaining about how poor they are with women because they respect women too much.

Yup. It's almost always the case that men who constantly talk about their "respect" for women actually have no respect for real, living ones. Instead, they pedestalize the concept of Woman in their mind and project this unattainable/unrealistic ideal of a 1950s tv housewife onto every "lady" they speak to. It's rather bizarre.

When you form strong as a rock male friendships (they're the best kind of bond in the entire world

Agree wholeheartedly. My male friends and I have stood together for many years, some of us are still friends from when we met in 7th grade. I've never had a female friendship last even 1/4 as long.

(bonus:that's why women shame them

Perhaps they wouldn't if they had such strong male friendships?

says_harsh_things · 2017-04-12T13:13:27+00:00

Maybe, but i dont think being poor with women is necessarily caused by poor strong male relationships. Correlated? Maybe. I think what you might be hitting on is that men who are poorly adapted to be social creatures have a tough time socializing with women in a sexual way.

So they need to learn to be social, so start by being social with men and when you get that down then be social with women.

I think that makes sense for really introverted people, but for a lot of people its still a big jump to be social with women when they have the pussy on a pedestal.

Realy, the only way to take it off the pedestal is to have some level of success under your belt and realize it can be done. Catch 22 i suppose.

reepbot · 2017-04-12T13:38:46+00:00

I believe that all men sometime in their life pedestalize women.

wub1234 · 2017-04-12T15:12:24+00:00

The fact of the matter is these men tend to be shy, boring, introverted

Is it a fact that introverted people are boring? Or is it a lazy generalisation?

badnews4u · 2017-04-12T16:35:28+00:00

Definitely agree

IIHotelYorba · 2017-04-12T16:18:30+00:00

I think there are a lot of good ideas here and you're probably dead on for some guys, but as a teenager I had super strong male friends and we all sat around wondering how to get this or that girl who was "SO FUCKING HOT etc."

In my opinion the #1 reason for pedestalizaiton is not going out and taking action. Once you've fucked like 15 more girls after you've met the girl you pedestalize, you're not thirsty for sex or female friends usually. In fact you tend to have even fucked girls who have similarities to the girl you REALLY want, so her exclusiveness/value is eroded and you start to see her far more objectively.

My advice to all guys early on is just to cold approach and get laid as much as you humanly can. Even if necessary with girls you aren't super into, just to get the ball rolling. It's psychologically transformative. Then LATER ON (for more advanced guys) make friends with all girls you can't fuck right away and fuck her friends. Then at some point in the future it's actually pretty likely you can fuck her, with your newfound expertise with women and the pressure of your newfound preselection by her peer group.

P.S. Also notice that once you're here you're able to CREATE social circles, so if your goal is really that girl be willing not only to lose girls but to burn social circles.

Title	Men that pedestalize women almost always lack strong male bonds and friendships
Author	Temperfuelmma
Upvotes	11
Comments	111
Date	April 12, 2017 11:56 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/64xobm/men_that_pedestalize_women_almost_always_lack/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-that-pedestalize-women-almost-always-lack.268930 https://theredarchive.com/post/268930

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