How straight couples met their partners

disposable_pants · 2017-07-10T22:40:15+00:00

Huh, that's interesting, how people dating co-workers spiked but is now back to the same percentage as 1940.

My great-aunt worked at a silk mill when she was a teenager, in the 1920s, and my future great-uncle saw her on the mill floor one day. "That's the girl I'm going to marry," he said, and he did.

rathyAro · 2017-07-10T23:25:36+00:00

Everything is trending downward because the internet exists now and is doing a lot of work to help people meet each other. The weird thing is that bar/restaurant is on the rise. I'd like to hear theories about why that would be the case.

hyperrreal · 2017-07-10T22:35:21+00:00

[deleted]

Five_Decades · 2017-07-11T08:49:19+00:00

All I can say is what I've said before. Online dating has been a boon for me. I've met introverted niche nerdy girls online who would have been very difficult to find IRL.

Throughout my late teenage/young adult years I met a lot of girls on Tumblr along with Twitter, Fetlife, random forums, and even once on /r/benzodiazepines yes right here on Reddit haha.

Tumblr was especially great because this was circa 2012 before it was SJW Central and instead was dominated primarily by fandom bloggers. Anyone who used Tumblr around this time will confirm the fandom scene was absolutely full of nerdy girls. The mere fact a guy was around who shared their interests got me a lot of fangirls. I had thousands of followers and met up with multiple girls who were my Tumblr followers. Lost my virginity to a really hot girl I met on Tumblr.

Then I got bored more recently and made an Okcupid profile. On the same day I made it I got talking to two girls who wanted to meet up with me. It's easy to get replies on these things as long as you reference stuff she's written in her profile when you send the first message and don't do socially awkward shit which isn't a tall order on the internet where you can plan everything you say.

I've never bothered with Tinder just because I prefer relationships (even if they're not super serious LTRs) to random hookups.

At the same time though, if you think internet dating is a load of bullshit there's still absolutely nothing stopping you from just going outside to meet girls the old fashioned way. Bars and clubs and parties and other social venues still exist. I find this more difficult than starting things online but that's because I'm an awkward introvert. For confident extroverts I imagine IRL is much easier than fucking about on your computer or an app so just do what you have most success with.

The only downside with meeting girls online is that there's zero guarantee they'll live near you. So you'll have lower success rate if you're not willing to travel a bit.

BPremium · 2017-07-11T01:47:11+00:00

I was saying something similar recently. In any one community there must be several pairings waiting to happen, but due to all this online dating now people are finding people who are outside the community to date.

I guess the question is the quality of relationships degrading now? Youd think with more choice and easy introductions it would be getting better.

Butt-Factory · 2017-07-10T23:10:24+00:00

No doubt that some people replace real life interactions with social media and online dating, but they're not necessarily mutually exclusive. I've used dating apps in the past, but I met my partner at a coffee shop. I use reddit, but I have loads of real friends and an active social life. The internet doesn't need to be a replacement for connection, it can be a supplement to it. I know a lot of happy and well matched couples who met online. They aren't any less connected than my boyfriend and I, they just went about it differently.

fiat_lux_ · 2017-07-10T22:37:48+00:00

The good old days: polio, crack flooding the streets and racism.

Outside still exists, doors still exist, mouths still exist, you can go talk to people if you want to, you don't have to use online dating or even delivery services if you don't wanna.

This is more a problem for foreigners trying to adjust to the open SMP from their traditional cultures, but I suspect this is an issue for everyone else to a degree as well

At my Uni there's alotta of foreign people, a lot of them especially the guys from India, have no sense of how different socializing is versus over where they live. Too FOB.

major contributor to the rise in sexual/relationship inequality

What inequality?

pinkgoldrose · 2017-07-11T00:51:53+00:00

It still helps to have friends. I'd be curious to know if we have less friends than before. If there was no internet, I'd go meet with friends a lot more just to have people to talk to.

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Entropy-7 · 2017-07-10T23:45:34+00:00

I was too focused in college so for the last 20+ years it has just been the internet.

Edit: my buddies have been a mix of finding women through college, mutual friends, internet and what-have-you.

wtknight · 2017-07-11T09:51:31+00:00

Disconnected individuals makes it much easier for there to be a competitive, mercenary SMP.

This is the downside. The upside is that it allows for more shy introverts to enter the SMP as using the internet allows one to interact with the opposite sex with some degree of protection and anonymity by being able to do so from the comfort of one's home behind a computer screen. If it weren't for the internet I'd be much less experienced relationship wise than I am today, but using it has helped me be able to find people easier who have some of the same social issues that I have.

BPremium · 2017-07-11T13:41:32+00:00

OLD and Tinder are super popular and just keep gaining traction... Its a big problem IMO.

eliechallita · 2017-07-12T22:43:13+00:00

I came from a middle eastern culture that was far less open than the dating scene in San Francisco, where I now live, and I have to say that I prefer it here by far.

I've met multiple partners through different means: Some were online, others were chance encounters, and some were through common friends or interests.

It seems that people here are amenable to introducing people to each other, including setting friends up, but that might be because we're a city of transients so you learn to quickly develop or walk out of relationships romantic or otherwise.

EmpoweredGirl · 2017-07-11T00:16:25+00:00

This requires greater analysis on my part. Though, ideally a more open SMP would be better, especially for weirdos like me who are not compatible with regular people. It means everyone has a better ability to find someone who is more suitable as you can choose from more people. However the failure of marriages and LTR are only going up, so there are definitely pros and cons to it. Maybe one of the cons is that dating too many people before settling down can make you compare your current partner to several previous ones and cause dissatisfaction. Or it might be how it is so much easier to have an affair be it sexual or emotional nowadays. Or it could be both and still a combination of 100 other reasons that may or may not have to do with the openness of the SMP. I am just spit-balling but I like this question, it is one I have overlooked.

Damn you people will make me rich with all the ideas I am collecting of you.

[deleted] · 2017-07-10T23:52:37+00:00

This is more a problem for foreigners trying to adjust to the open SMP from their traditional cultures, but I suspect this is an issue for everyone else to a degree as well.

Mostly true. Honestly as a not-white person in a majority white area I feel like I'm always going to be bottom of the barrel regardless of what I do to improve myself.

It's probably as equal as, or even more important than height where I live.

Title	How straight couples met their partners
Author	fiat_lux_
Upvotes	20
Comments	82
Date	July 10, 2017 10:22 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6mhxmp/how_straight_couples_met_their_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-straight-couples-met-their-partners.267063 https://theredarchive.com/post/267063

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