The Allure of Self-Pity

TRP has a widespread self-pity problem but due to it being so commonplace, nothing can be done.

This is the form of self-pity we see most often:

• Complain about something
• Do not accept responsibility
• Assign blame

The allure of self-pity to a weak man is twofold. First, self-pity removes the guilt produced by failure (but not the anger). It wasn't your fault. In fact self-pity doesn't just avoid accountability--it says that you should have expected to fail. And it doesn't stop there. Self-pity can even transform that guilt into heroicism. After all, you persevered and gave a noble effort, in spite of your problems, only to come up short through no fault of your own.

There is another component of self-pity that while optional, really ties the room together: someone who succeeds where you fail. Someone you can't live up to. Now you can pin your failure on the traits that he posseses and that you do not. How can I even hope to succeed without the X and Y that he has? This addition is quite popular in TRP. We'll call it The Chad Substantiation.

It's fair to point out that it would be surprising if we didn't see significant instances of self-pity, coming as they are from such a large group of betas. My goal here is not to shame them, but to bring attention to the issue. It would benefit TRP to reduce the number of people on the road to victimhood. Self-pity stands in direct opposition to TRP's goal of accepting reality, warts and all. And I don't know if you guys knew this or not… but it's really gross, too. I don't even have the vocabularly to describe it but there's a strong viseral reaction. Upon reflection, seems it's the inherent cowardice that produces a lot of my distaste. Self-pity stands directly opposed to to masculinity. I suspect the more self-possessed a man is, the more self-pity will bother him. The kind of men that TRP are trying to emulate, the kind that /r/TRP needs more of, I'm certain they would be put off by the undercurrents of victimhood, among other curiosities. TRP does an admirable job of helping guys wake up and see with clear eyes. It's a pity that self-pity stinks up the joint.

Easy to see why it's so prevalent: major TRP concepts can be abused to erroneously attribute a woman's behavior to her feminine nature. I'll give you 3 seconds to guess which core TRP principle gets abused the most.

That's right. Love it or hate it, AWALT is scarily efficient when used in the commission of a denial. Confirming the legitimacy of an AWALT claim is simple. Examine each item in the claim and its evidence, review what she said and what she did, and ask yourself if reasonable people would agree the evidence shows an unmistakable, causal link between an AWALT item and her behavior. If the record does not match an AWALT item, or there was no causal link identified between an AWALT item and her actions, the item is rejected. The dipshit claimant loses AWALT priveleges for a week or until he can explain what AWALT means, and must meditate on his mistake for at least 3 minutes daily.

The next TRP mainstay is even worse: calling the high quality women you can't attract "unicorns" is downright defeatist. I wouldn't even want to be part of a club that had that attitude.

Let's check out some examples. The obvious ones are obvious so we'll start with my "favorite."

Every few months, like clockwork, an article is posted about women in some variation of this base scenario: "I'm smart with a degree and a good career ahead of me but I have not yet found a husband."

Sometimes she has good career going, sometimes they are freezing their eggs "just in case," but they all report difficulties finding a man to marry. The comment sections on this style posts are always filled with sneers and mocking, mean-spirited remarks, while the articles they reference are perfectly mild. I don't even recall any of the women speaking poorly about men at all, let alone spew out moronic, victim-puke induced generalities like some people. Notice that a couple of the posts included a whole imaginary backstory that was pulled right out of their ass. The new details are not kind to the women. Note that the TRP posters were not kind to themselves with these added details, either. I would be surprised, but by now I'm used to this peculiar habit TRP has, where they insert themselves (or men generically) into an calculation that doesn't include men. Since men are not a part of the equation they don't fit anywhere, and are represented poorly by the results. Which is expected. Because it wasn't about men in the first place.

A good example of this is Briffault's Law, which is exclusively about women. Not men. It's not even really about women, it's basically just a fancy way of saying that relationships are transactional. But that didn't stop men from forcing themselves into the process, and then losing their collective shit when they didn't make out so well. Well no shit you didn't come out with anything, you weren't part of that situation in the first place.

So what's going on here? What is the purpose of posting these stories, and why do they get TRP all riled up? Oh, and where's that self-pity?

Take a few minutes to look through the posts above, and then take a shot at answering those questions below.

Welcome back. Let's walk this through and take some notes.

• N1: The referenced articles have nothing to do with the TRPs who commented on them

They are not dating women like that, and the women are not dating men like that--and therein lies the problem. Because TRP wants to date women like that. So when they hear these women imply that there's not enough good men around, TRP is like, "We're right here, you idiots!" In the second article, kevin32 spells it out nicely:

Don't be deceived by a quality woman's claims of scarcity and "no luck" in the dating market. She has numerous Good Men who make themselves available to her for dating, but she rejects them because they're not tall enough, or handsome enough, or doesn't have enough tattoos, or doesn't make enough money, or is "too nice". Like most women in western society, her idea of a "decent guy" is the top 20%, and so she's ever chasing the most handsome, exciting man on the market and expecting him to have Nice Guy traits. But it's not until her SMV tanks and she needs a bailout does she want those same Nice Guys she rejected to "treat me with respect and honor as it should be".

And in many cases, these women aren't even "quality" women. They're 5s, 6s and 7s whose inflated sense of self-worth via an overabundance of attention makes them behave as if they were 9s and 10s. They need to lower their standards and reconsider those decent men who don't check off their laundry list of demands.

Replete with a quick "The Wall" revenge fantasy, and the classic rejoinder, "Yeah? Well, you're ugly!", kevin32 was on top of his game that day.

Before we move on it's worth noting what kevin32 proposed to the women as the solution to this conundrum: date men you are not attracted to. Oh, kevin32. By a show of hands, who thinks kevin32 needs some quality time with the sidebar?

And that's it, case closed. TRP feels bad that these kinds of women won't fuck them, so they never pass up an opportunity to spend a few minutes insulting and demeaning them in return. Boldly and with confidence, like men. And anonymously, behind their back and on the internet. Come to think of it, they never did take responsibility for the problem of their own unattractiveness… but they did find time to visualize Chad fucking these chicks in their stead. TRP must have a real love/hate thing going with their Chad. Their patron saint--who also fucks girls that they can't.

All the ingredients needed to cook up some nice, fresh self-pity are right there.

I don't have time to walk through the rest of the examples right now but I'll leave them here, if you're curious.

Why is making a guy wait longer than a month a bad thing to some?

Showing weakness, and the consequences

What it means to be a man