Please help!

golden_eyed_cat · 2020-09-29T15:53:16+00:00

I am really sorry you're in such a situation! According to his actions (seeing both you and other women for almost three months), it seems like he is not interested in a relationship, and may simply be stringing you along. If I were you, I wouldn't invest too much into this man. Date other guys that are more willing to commit. Do not hook up with this man, and if you are sleeping with him, stop and give yourself time to heal.

Men will happily date women that they like, but they will only commit to women that they love.

gosamadhi · 2020-09-29T17:18:45+00:00

I agree with above, don't sleep with him, don't invest too much

DifferentApricot4115 · 2020-09-29T17:35:13+00:00

The old me would’ve been cool with this. The new me? Nope nope and nope. What do you mean not ready for one? Still into your ex or something? To me it’s an excuse. As Rupi Kaye says don’t confuse sugar with salt I’d be wants to be with you he will

cornycatlady · 2020-09-29T18:29:07+00:00

His actions speak louder than his words. Clearly he is not ready to be emotionally committed.

You have to weigh how you would feel if in a few months he ended up telling you he didn’t want to continue onto something serious

If you are fine with the possibility, I would keep dating him. If you are not okay with that possibility, I would give him his space to heal and spend your timer constructively elsewherw

Also. Men should be the chasers. Never ever forget that if he was in love and serious about you, he would make you feel this way. You wouldn’t have to question him. The fact you have to question his intentions are a huge red flag

thesixthamethyst · 2020-09-29T19:11:23+00:00

That is code for "I'm waiting to see if something better comes along."

I'd be out.

isidorakimou · 2020-09-29T18:53:16+00:00

Are you already intimate with him? Because this is crucial information in this case. If you are and he has let you know he is dating others (possibly having sex with them too), then the situation is ideal to him. Why would he give you any commitment if he knows you are okay with all this when he can have his cake and eat it too? Whether you are or not intimate with him, better run. Watch his actions, not his words. If he was indeed sure he wanted something long-term and serious with you, he would have stopped seeing others, he wouldn't even want to spend time with any other woman than you, and he would have never mentioned any other woman.

From my experience, which is extreme tbh, there was one man that was so infatuated with me that whenever I met his friends, they were all telling me how they used to do this or that with him and how he dropped everything and messed up his whole schedule and activities just to accommodate my schedule and please me. See, that's what a man who's really into you would be willing to do, but mind you this is not healthy at all and won't work in the long-term. (EDIT to add that I really appreciated him and all of his efforts and I was very flattered and happy that my feelings were reciprocated, but what he was doing to himself would eventually set him up to hate me, because in the long-run he wouldn't even be able to recognise himself and how much he has changed for another person. Also, there were very extreme for my taste incidents that had really put me off, like crying in my arms begging me to not ever leave him. I was worried that if things didn't work out he would either kill me or kill himself.) Then, there were people I wasn't really involved with, let's say went on a few dates, who would even bring their "ex" with whom they had a FWB situation going to meet me.. Like wtf.. It's pretty clear most of the time when a guy really likes you and wants something serious and when he doesn't. It's just a bit too hard to find (at least for me) the perfect balance, not a complete doormat and not a complete f*ckboy either I guess.

MilkiesMaximus · 2020-09-29T19:15:07+00:00

Personally I do the same thing he does. When I'm seeing someone I don't invest myself emotionally right away. I've had guys try to rush me to be committed to them with barely knowing them. I think there is nothing wrong with taking things slow, but if he is seeing other ppl at the same time that means you have the right to as well. I won't be surprised if he changes his tune if he knows you are not just sitting around waiting for him to "be yours". I think it's fine to keep seeing him but also keep you emotions in check in case he disappoints you. Don't invest in him till he does the same. Don't make him a priority until he shows you you are. This may not be rpw per se but it's the way I live my life. I've been dating for about a year now and just now found someone worth giving my time to.

girlpearl · 2020-09-29T20:40:38+00:00

It took a whole summer and then some to become exclusive with my man of 7 years. Worth it imo. You should just see other people in the mean time too.

xoxobenji · 2020-09-29T16:52:56+00:00

First of all you need to chill. Right now you’re in the mind set of trying to get him and that’s honestly not a healthy mind set to be in. Guys don’t want girls that are throwing themselves on to them. If he’s talking to other girls then I suggest you talk to other guys get to see what’s out there. If he likes you he will step up and court you.

fairydust91 · 2020-09-30T06:15:26+00:00

I think after 3 months you should definitely be exclusive with someone. I think he's just not that into you.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-09-30T12:52:20+00:00

Don’t invest too much and since he’s not ready to date you exclusively, go out and date other people as well.

Ms_Sommersby · 2020-09-30T22:14:48+00:00

To me it seems like youre a great girl. He on the other hand not so great. When a man wants something he goes after it. I think he's keeping you around but he won't commit. "You aren't asking for much you're just asking the wrong person."

pperfection · 2020-10-01T19:24:13+00:00

Agree with what most people already said - move on and don’t hit him up again. Make it clear you’re living your life and have 4 men in a neat line outside your house LOL. I would say he will probably crawl back but sadly I think you shot yourself in the foot by already bringing up the relationship topic. When a man wants you, you just know from his actions.

2020-09-29T18:19:56+00:00

He basically sayign ur being too clingy bruh, back up a little bit, give the kid some space man.

Title	Please help!
Author	ElectricalBake
Upvotes	17
Comments	24
Date	September 29, 2020 3:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/j21dzr/please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/please-help.275618 https://theredarchive.com/post/275618

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