Difference in religion?

LookingForEquanimity · 2021-07-27T15:36:14+00:00

Question - How do you know he doesn’t value morality as much as you do? Just because someone isn’t pious doesn’t mean they don’t value morality as much as someone who is pious and and just because someone is pious doesn’t mean they value morality more than someone who isn’t pious.

coastalgal_93 · 2021-07-27T15:51:58+00:00

My husband and I are devout Christians, though we had pretty different views on some theology when we got married. I'm not saying it's like this for everyone, but it's pretty common for eventually one spouse to move towards the other on these things. I ended up being the one whose views changed on those subjects to align more with his, and I'm very glad for it now.

I think it mostly comes down to your personal beliefs and convictions, and what you are or are not willing to potentially sacrifice. Coming from a similar religious belief as you, I would personally be hesitant to enter into marriage with someone who had a very different view of the importance of the Church or the life of Christ. Those are major things. And especially if you believe the command in the Bible to not be unequally yoked in marriage. You can still be unequally yoked even if you both identify as Christian in some way.

Another thing to consider - IF you want children - is how important is it to you that you raise your kids in your belief/value system and traditions? Or how important is it that you and your future husband be a united front on these things when raising kids? Or would it not matter? Do you want your children to see an example of someone who pursues growth in their faith through study and fellowship? Just something to think about. I certainly know couples who have different views and religions entirely and still had successful marriages, through it was very difficult and it does impact their children.

MirriMazDuur · 2021-07-27T15:40:53+00:00

I have an atheist friend who used to date a moderate christian. Now they are married and have a beautiful baby boy :) It is impossible to find a partner who is just as interested as you in the same subjects as you. Also, women tend to be more religious than men. You are of the same faith, you won't have problems. Do not be afraid of anything! If some situation in the future will require one of you to compromise, it's not the end of the world, not something that you won't be able to handle. It is 100% natursl to sometimes disagree on moral issues ... I should ask, why are you so afraid of disagreements? Do you have a fear of lack of control? Of things not going your way?

HoedownInBrownTown · 2021-07-27T15:47:20+00:00

From the perspective of man interested in Orthodoxy I can say there are many Orthodox YouTube channels and if your partner is interested in history and Logic, or in popular culture, it would be worth him looking at people like Jay Dyer, The Church of the Eternal Logos or Jonathan Pageau. If he wants to seek spiritual guidance I recommend Fr Spyridon Bailey or Patristic Nectar Films, run by Fr Josiah Trenham. If he likes watching youtube as a form of entertainment or listening to podcasts on his commute those channels would all serve as a good portal to enhancing his faith and opening him up to the importance of being a Christian. Of course I would also recommend you pray for him, as I will. God bless you.

Protocol_Apollo · 2021-07-27T16:45:43+00:00

Compromise where you can.

Don’t compromise where you can’t.

That said, if you and him are more or less on a similar page...can it really be an issue?

What exactly are you worried about? This “sharing morality” bit seems like the top layer of something else.

Why is it important he shares this morality to you? What do you think will happen if he doesn’t?

valleycupcake · 2021-07-27T22:45:56+00:00

I don’t comment here much but wanted to pitch in because I am Orthodox too. If you are looking for a traditional faith based relationship, his faith and morality should be at least as strong as yours. If it isn’t, you’ll find yourself either falling away yourself, or leading him to lead, which never goes well. And most importantly, pray and ask your confessor.

clitorophagy · 2021-07-27T23:59:20+00:00

He doesn’t need to share your interests or be as pious as you. Find people at church to talk theology with, it’s good to have an active and interesting life outside of your relationship. That helps you not be clingy and dependent.

It’s not quite clear to me what you mean about morality though. Do you mean that he’s ok with lying and cheating? Do you have any examples of what you mean? If he just doesn’t care about going to church that’s one thing but if he can’t be trusted that’s another thing entirely

JadedByEntropy · 2021-07-27T22:33:52+00:00

If someone has no faith or a weak interest in spiritual whatevers, it won't matter to them what you think.

If anyone actually cares, that's what you base your morality and foundations on...and its the most important thing you can match on. Its how you raise kids. Its what your schedule looks like. Its a foundation that establishes a person to a set of morals that you can focus them back to if they get sloppy.

Specifically Christianity calls the man to lead his family and inspire you to better understanding and a stronger bond. If he has no interest, and is a pew warmer, or his grandma read a Bible once and so he thinks that counts for something, then he cannot fulfill his Christian call to father or lead properly. He doesn't even know what that type of relationship would look like. He isn't a Christian by anything other than convienence or habit, and noone can inherit faith or salvation. Its individual.

I wouldn't yoke yourself to an unbelieving 'leader' because the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. Plus a plenty of warnings against taking a wife/husband from other faiths will cause your children to worship false idols and not understand anything you're trying to teach them. A house divided will not stand.

Psychology says children will follow the faith of their father most of the time, including none or a lack.

SamathaStevens · 2021-07-27T16:51:19+00:00

Sorry if I missed this but are you Orthodox Christian as well as him?

leinlin · 2021-07-27T17:30:06+00:00

Honestly, you still share the same religion. He‘s just not as deep yet. Chances are he will be. I think sharing the same religious roots is a BIG pro. And might as well be that your journey inspires his. Just don‘t force it. My father is Christian, my mother Catholic. He goes to mass with her every Sunday. Pray over it and ask God to guide you in your decision. All the best!

PrincessaRusalka · 2021-08-03T22:59:37+00:00

Orthodox here- pray on it! God has the answer for you :)

Micah_JM_JP · 2021-08-09T04:26:39+00:00

To be honest. He will probably fake it or go with the motions. A good friend of mine and his wife are orthodox. She’s super pious and he is not. But he goes with the motions because he loves his wife. And if that gets him Closer to God maybe that’s what he wanted

cebollofor · 2021-07-27T19:03:21+00:00

Morality has nothing to do with religion, has to do with moral values, that come from respecting others right to live and have a decent life, on the other side of your plan is to always agree whit him 100% to be happy, you will never be, what you need is some one like you , and when you disagree you can respect each other and have a decent debate about your way of thinking

I’m atheist, was born into Christianity and have more morality and decency than 90% of the people I know

dashdotdott · 2021-07-27T23:44:52+00:00

I'm a Matushka (priest's wife).

I would not marry someone with the hope they will become more (or less) devout. You cannot bring someone closer to the Faith, they need to chose to become closer.

Imagine that he stays the same for 1yr, 5yrs, 10yrs. When there are children, the model that he will be at 1yr, 5yr or 10yrs if he continues spiritually as he is. Imagine taking your children, by yourself, to church. Imagine having to drag an unwilling child who is asking why they have to go and daddy doesn't (now add tears, begging, screaming). Because, here's the thing, he told you that he's not motivated to become more devout:

He told me he could become a practicing christian but I can't rely on possibilities.

carrotno3113 · 2021-07-27T19:46:45+00:00

As an Orthodox Christian myself, differences in how my partner and I define/practice morality would be very important to me. I found a guy that checked out most of my boxes but at the time I met him he was lukewarm in his Catholic faith. We discussed theology a lot and I introduced him to Orthodoxy which he's now converting to. (Fr. Spyridon really spoke to him!) In my case, if he didn't convert I wouldn't have stayed because when it comes to raising kids (if that's your goal!) then the differences in morality/faith can make things quite complicated, especially when it is expected for the man to "lead" the household. I've heard of it working out for inter-faith couples though so it comes down to what you're willing to compromise with and if your communication with eachother is excellent.

juju_la_poeto · 2021-07-27T22:47:13+00:00

All of that guy’s good qualities you mentioned plus piety is found among men in Mount Athos

dionysus_project · 2021-07-28T09:07:48+00:00

Being proud of being Christian is like being proud of only speaking one language. Morality does not come from a book, it comes from deep within. A just man is a just man in any circumstance because of his faith, not because of the Faith.

MarchBaby21 · 2021-07-28T12:04:14+00:00

He doesn’t sound like a man who could be the spiritual head of your household. He doesn’t sound like a man who will lead you to be closer to God. If you get married, the purpose of your marriage should be to glorify God. Do you feel like your husband would agree with that goal?

My mom married a man like this, my father. Lukewarm in his faith. She found herself having to go to church alone. I didn’t want to go because I wanted to stay home with dad. My dad became an agnostic. She, over the course of years, stopped going to church, stopped worshipping God, and has lost her faith. I wasn’t Christian until I was 24 and my mother had nothing to do with me finding Jesus.

Do not be unequally yoked. It’s spiritual sabotage.

Title	Difference in religion?
Author	nejld
Upvotes	33
Comments	35
Date	July 27, 2021 2:33 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/osnztu/difference_in_religion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/difference-in-religion.794838 https://theredarchive.com/post/794838

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