Your wife is not on your team

TheGreasyPole · 2015-03-17T21:34:32+00:00

I think I agree the general principle "your wife is not on your team"

I'm not sure she's an opponent, as in say a tennis match. I'd view it as more of a fellow competitor, like in an athletics race. They're not on your team but it's not a direct 1-1 opponent situation. Not sure where I am going with this...

Maybe that's just me/my situation. I don't know if it's a general principle. I get the "not on your team" bit but something bugs me about the "enemy" framing. Not sure if I can find a better way of phrasing it though.

I'd also say that "not on your team" only holds 99.99% of the time. Reading about Athol and Jennifer Kay... I don't think they are each other's enemies.

Maybe that's the way out of the conundrum. Maybe the only way to have your wife "on team" is to have a consciously RP wife who is girl gaming you, for fun, as you guy game them right back, for the lulz.

ElGuapoMiguel · 2015-03-17T22:42:11+00:00

What about the Captain and First Officer dynamic outline in MMSL and MAP? They are assumed to be on the same team for the metaphor to work. The family supposed to be on the same team. But, in my personal marriage experience, I grudgingly would have to say your right. Ah, another bitter pill truth to savor and swallow.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-03-17T23:03:55+00:00

> The Cardinal Rule of Sexual Strategies: For one gender’s sexual strategy to succeed the other gender must compromise or abandon their own.

Rollo Tomassi

Given the innate submissiveness of the feminine, it is inevitable that she will yield to a more dominant masculine man. Because of this, ironically, she will also be happier when she does.

[deleted] · 2015-03-17T19:50:03+00:00

I think categorizing marriage as entirely adversarial is just as erroneous as the line of thinking you rail against. The dynamic is different than with a plate or girlfriend.

AZTRP · 2015-03-17T21:31:24+00:00

Over in the sidebar is a link for No More Mr Nice Guy. Have you read that? It's all about self-examination. It's also a 'course prerequisite'

This is where the self-examination thread comes from.

crayonsred · 2015-03-18T01:38:44+00:00

I think of her as my frenemy.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-17T21:15:58+00:00

Our Hard Core Red dude cock jams another hard one sans lube.

Brothers trust me on this. YOU may not want to think of your wife as an adversary in the game of sex so let me assure you of something. SHE does.

Try to avoid thinking of it as a death match but don't for a second forget that you play for different teams. It is the game of seduction and she is your VICTIM. You are the Seducer.

Her job is to try to get your attention and affection without having to give up sex. (Yes I know it is stupid because she likes sex also just trust me on this one- because even if it is not her conscious goal her every action and reaction is still based on wrapping a man around her finger so she can stop having sex with him).

Your job is to get the sex with minimal effort and maximal enthusiasm.

NotABibleScholar · 2015-03-17T23:51:36+00:00

I understand the point here, especially in light of targeting sex specifically... In general terms I'll have to think if I agree or not. With this mindset I might say, if a wife is an opponent in the game of sex many want you to win, but some do not. The degree to which they want you to win depends on if you are a star player or not. Some play to lose, they just like it better that way.

cegh · 2015-03-18T09:56:00+00:00

I like to think I'm a manager of a football team and she is a player of MY football team. You can either be 'fired' or the player can 'move' to a different team.

If my team is great and always wins, she will praise it, stick up for it, invite people to watch the team play, never want to leave, be grateful that she is lucky to be part of such a great team.

Now if my team is crap and keeps losing games, she will tell others how shitty the team is, blame the team being crap on other people except herself for performing badly and eventually move to another team to play for.

She wants her team to win and do the best it can because it makes her look good too.

So think about the 'team' phrase as she is in your team and there are other teams out there she can be apart of but she wants the team she is in to be successful, unless she gets an amazing offer from another team.

Now remember, not every team wins every game, so what happens when a team loses. They get depressed, moral is reduced, they give less effort. This might lead you to think she is now an opponent, she isn't. She is just questioning if you are a good enough manager. The opponent is another team. She is still part of the team, she wants it to win.

This is where she looks to you to see how you can make changes to make the team win. A football team won't fire a manager who is doing his best straight away as they see he is trying. A manager who doesn't try at all will probably get fired or the player will move to a different team.

If the manager tries his hardest but keeps failing all the time, then the player might stick around but chances are you get fired or she will move to another team.

Imagine another team comes along (a higher value man, OR a woman with lower value than her but has a higher value man than you). She will see if her team beats the opponent. She will compare everything and in her mind, someone comes out on top. If the other team performs higher, and she chooses to leave the team, she will transfer to another team (be with another man). The way the transfer works is you still play for the current team while making sure you are ready to be with the next team (monkey branching). During this transfer phase, it's normally done and dusted, she is moving, but something could happen where she changes her mind and goes back to her original team and cancels the transfer.

[deleted] · 2015-03-18T15:10:49+00:00

I have also faced this truth and I agree that when you embrace the concept - life improves.

I view it like a Chess match. The fact that I know what's going on in her mind (Thank you TRP/MRP) enables me to foresee her moves and it keeps me ahead in the game.

Title	Your wife is not on your team
Author	theultmatecad
Upvotes	4
Comments	44
Date	March 17, 2015 7:31 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2zdu8v/your_wife_is_not_on_your_team/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/your-wife-is-not-on-your-team.202331 https://theredarchive.com/post/202331

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